The Hacker Pwny

by Chetzi

Chapter 21: OBJECTION!

I'm sure if the ponies are even going to break out in war. Might be just a political battle, I doubt the ponies can fight. My mind flashed to the season two ending. Oh fuck. Well, I'm out. I jogged back into the portal and appeared in my living room. I heard a female newscaster talking on the T.V. I turned toward the voice watched. She said,

"There is intelligent alien life. But they appear to be threaten our very way of life. We won't all die, we will be slaves, tortured for the rest of our lives. They are planning an attack as we speak." I walked over to the remote and hit the off button. I hate watching this babble come out of man's fears. Complete BS. Cortez was still sitting on the couch. She snatched the remote away from me and said,

"Hey! I was watching that." She hit the on button. The newscaster said,

"The U.S. government is trying to get a world army together to combat the alien threat. So far, Russia and Germany have joined the U.S. for our safety." I threw my arms up in the air at this bullshit. "We should be launching the attack in two days. The aliens are right outside our galaxy and they appear to be cartoon horses. Our method of travel will be an advanced device that transfers matter and converts them at faster than the speed of light. The government is calling it the MTSC. They have been working on it for decades." My jaw went wide. Cortez couldn't believe it either. The only person who said something was Chuck, who said,

"Oh... Shit..."

---

"We need a say in how we live!" A crowd of Luna supports chanted at the divide in Canterlot. Luna emerged from behind a building and walked up to the line. She stopped once she was two feet from the line. Both sides did the same. They screamed curse words at each other. Celestia teleported right in front of Luna, and the crowd went quiet. Celestia said,

"I do not want to fight. I will give you one more chance to stop this crazy rebellion." Luna shook her head and said a simple,

"No." She then cleared her throat and said, "Ponies, this is our chance, our choice, our life. If we don't make a stand right now, our freedom, or very way of life will be gone and hopeless. We are all slaves to Celestia's will. We will fight. Down to the last sword, down to the last bullet, down the to last pony, WE WILL FIGHT!" The Luna side exploded in cheers. A cannon shot burst out from an unknown side, and they all swung swords and lit fuses. It looked like Luna had more ponies, but Celestia had better weapons. But, the ponies that were only accounted for about twenty percent of Equestria. Most ponies just wanted to get along.

A human in army camo appeared not far from the battle. He had an assault rifle and a handgun. His mission was to scout out the place. He held his gun to his chin as he expertly turned a corner. He could see the civil war going on. It was an explosion of fruity smells and a spew of bright colors. Two ponies, a unicorn and pegasus. Turned the corner and jumped on the scout. Normally, they have extreme xenophobia, but in this case, they were just too angry to care. The scout thrashed around and threw the ponies off. The bright yellow unicorn trapped the scout in a weak yellow bubble. The scout slammed the butt of his gun into it, and it smashed open. Smilier to the way Dylan broke the magic bubble. The scout then raised his assault rifle and let out a three round burst at the pegasus. It hit her twice in the wing, one in the foreleg. She cried out in pain as blood seeped out of the wound. The white pegasus slammed into the human, sending them both flying. They scrambled off the floor as the scout got a message from HQ. He put two fingers to his ear as he heard,

"We've seen enough. They need to all die. Return to base." The human nodded and pressed a button on his wrist. He became engulfed in white sparkles and he was teleported to the military base.

Back to Dylan.

"I can't fucking believe this," I said, "first, they steal my invention, second they attack a harmless race of cartoons!" Cortez asked,

"What do we do?" I slammed my fist on a nearby table.

"This is the last straw. This is my mistake, and I'm fixing it. First, we need to find Bentley and Jessica. Then, we need to reunite Celestia and Luna. Third, we need to kick the governments' ass. Tell me Cortez, if we all walk behind the blind, where do we draw the line?"

Jessica's point of view.

How the fuck I managed to get from a necromorph infested ship to a court, I have idea. It had something to do with that electrical field. It's not my fault the sign said to not lick it! It was just begging me too! But anyway, back to the matter at hand. I was in a courtroom, with some guy named, 'Judge', and another jerk named Miles edgewart, or something like that. I'm no lawyer, but I just had to help that poor guy. It was obvious that he didn't do it. I slammed my hands on the court table and yelled,

"OBJECTION! He was at the waterpark between three P.M. and four. And this clearly states that the murder happened about forty minutes from the where Kirk Wolk was." Edgewart shook his head and smiled as he shrugged. He said,

"As I said, your paper-thin theories are pointless. He could have added a delay to the poison. He is a chemist with extensive knowledge in biology, it wouldn't be hard for him to get the chemical and administrate it." I slammed my fist on the table and mentally yelled, 'DAMMIT!' This guy's good, no doubt about that. There just had to be something! I'm running out of evidence. I need to catch a break or else this will be all over.

To Dylan's point of view.

"What do you mean I can't?" I impatiently said to Chuck. He said,

"The Super Smash Bros universe Bentley is in is already a giant one filled with other universes. You need to go to one more universe before you are capable of processing it." I sarcastically said,

"Well, that's just perfect. *sigh* Where's Jessica then?"

“Well, she appears to be in a courtroom. And slamming her hands on tables.”

“I think I know where she is. Just set it there, and we’ll all go.” Cortex nodded and the MTSC revealed a courtroom. I unplugged Chuck and walked through the portal. Cortez followed behind. I heard some man say,

“I told you, your path of logic is worthless. This testimony proves it.” I turned toward the voice, it was Miles Edgeworth.

“Who are they!” The bald old guy with a grey beard said. He was sitting high up on the judge’s seat. Jessica was standing at the defense attorney table. I walked over to her saying,

“What happened? What’s going on?” She replied with,

“I got stuck with this murder case. Some weird guy with black spiky hair had to do something else, he told me to defend this guy. And with the current evidence, I don’t think he did it. I could use a hand.”

“No, let’s just leave. There’s a problem on Earth, and I need you.” She shook her head as she said,

“No, I can’t just leave this guy.” I looked toward the witness stand, a man with shiny yellow hair and an orange jumpsuit stood there nervously. I sighed, and said,

“If you must, I’ll save him. What do we have?” She spent a minute or so telling me about the case and evidence. Court resumed, and I took over for Jessica. Cortez leaned against a wall. The Judge said,

“Looks like we have another person defending. Now, let’s hurry up and finish this.” Miles pointed his finger at me and yelled,

“OBJECTION! This man isn’t a lawyer. You might as well call this closed.” I slammbed my hands on the table and yelled,

“HOLD IT! I think you’re just scared you might not lose. After all, if you’re going to win, why not just prove that Wolk is guilty.”

“Grr, you ignorant little brat. Fine, I’ll play along for now. I call Smark DeCik to the stand.” A young man with green hair and blue jeans with a purple sweatshirt walked up the the stand. “Name and occupation.” The new guy coughed and said,

“Call me Smark. I work as an electrical engineer.”

“Now, tell the court what happened on the night of Itel’s death.” The man nodded, this music started playing, and he said,

"Well, it was dark and foggy. I had left the tools shack after I finished wiring the last roller coaster. Mr. Wolk was there, just minding his own business. I was only out of the shack for about three minutes. Then I went back in to find my jacket, because I was freezing my 'stache off. What I found was Mr. Wolk covered in blood, pointing a bloody knife at some unknown stranger." I pressed his 'unknown stranger' statement,

"That's it? Just unknown stranger? You can't tell us anything about him?" Smark coughed and said,

"Well, it was dark. The only source of light was a dim lantern that just gave enough light to reveal Wolk and the bloody knife." The Judge shook his head and asked,

"Was that statement of any importance?" I replied,

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Alright then, witness, amend your testimony." I asked Smark about the light.

"It was just an old lantern. Nothing really special about it." I thought about my evidence, and found a contradation. I pointed my finger at him and yelled, (Stop playing that music, and play this now.)

"OBJECTION! Would the lantern happen to look like this?" I asked Smark and showed him a picture of it. He nodded and said,

"Yep that's it."

"Well then, you're wrong. This lantern is brand new, and very bright." Smark blanched and quickly said,

"B-but that could just be a copy!" I shook my head,

"No, not possible. This has the name of the roller coaster place on the bottom." Miles yelled,

"OBJECTION! The age of this lamp has nothing to do with-"

"HOLD IT! This lamp is very important! This lamp is new and bright enough to be able to light up the victim's face. Witness, why did you say it was dim and you couldn't see?" Smark regained his composure and said,

"It must have been behind a box, and the light must have gotten cut off at angle!" I wiggled my finger at him.

"There were no boxes. The crime scene photographs prove that."

"Bu-but I was sure there were boxes!" Miles yelled,

"HOLD IT!" There were boxes there! Squares of dust and dirt were left in the shack. They must have been moved after the crime happened." Hmm, after, eh? I'll hold onto that thought. (Stop the music)I said,

"Okay, why were the boxes moved then?"

"To dispose of evidence, most likely." So he had time to get rid of leads. I should remember that. I tapped my chin as I thought. I then asked the witness,

"How well do you know Wolk?"

"Just his name. He usually just does his job and goes home. Doesn't really talk to anyone." The doors slammed open, and the bailiff came running in, holding a box. He yelled,

"Mr. Edgeworth, sir! I found the decisive evidence that you needed!"

Comments

[Doctor.whooves]

I want MOAR

Sincerely the Doctor also can you make Somepony say ALLONSY please

[Chetzi]

514906

I may throw a random Dr. Hooves intermission in there.

[VX]

514906 ALLONSS-YY

happy naow?