Exam Jitters

by GrassAndClouds2

In Which Ditzy Learns a Lesson

Ditzy was cleaning her apartment halfheartedly. She sighed as she washed up the last of the plates and put them in the rack to dry. Everything seemed oddly gray. And not the gray of her coat, either, but the dreary, saddish gray of a thick fog. The kind that made her want to hide from the world for a while.

"I did my duty," Ditzy said. "That's all there is to it. Some parents probably wouldn't have even told her, but I did. That was the right thing to do."

The room was silent in response.

"Besides, only 25% of the selected foals take the test in the first place. Plenty of parents don't want their foals going away at such a young age. I'm not alone in that. And Dinky's such a sweet child... she wouldn't be able to deal with the bullies and the prima donnas she'd get at a school like that."

She cleaned as she talked, and the dishes were soon done. Wiping her hooves, Ditzy trotted over to the window to debate what to do with her morning. Dinky was out of the house and she had no work to do or guests coming over, so her day was free. Maybe she would start a new book, the one Trixie had given her for her birthday a while ago. It would take her mind off of things, and Marechiavelli was supposed to be a good writer.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Ditzy frowned and quickly checked her little planner on the counter. She didn't have any visitors scheduled, and her friends were likely unavailable. Most of the Elements would probably be preparing to talk with the parents of the foals who would be taking the Sharpwhinny entrance exam. Sparkler would be running her shop. Silver Script was out of town; his college roommate was getting married out in Califurlong and he was attending the ceremony. Maybe it's Fluttershy? thought Ditzy as she approached the door. Although, I doubt she'd come into town when it isn't pouring rain... maybe it's Angel? Fluttershy might be in trouble.

"Ditzy, open the door."

Ditzy recognized Trixie's voice and unlocked the door. "Good morning, Trixie," she said as she let the showmare in. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

Ditzy moved to close the door, but Trixie held it open and Cheerilee walked in a few moments later. "Ditzy," she said without preamble.

"Um... hi, Cheerilee." Ditzy looked between the two of them. "Is something the matter?"

Cheerilee opened her mouth, but Trixie quickly waved her off. "Yes. We were just talking to Dinky."

"...and?"

"She's not taking the Sharpwhinny entrance exam."

Ditzy felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. "And? That's her choice. I don't really think it's appropriate for you to question that."

"We aren't," said Cheerilee. "But we are questioning what you told her about Manehattan. You said it's some kind of urban wasteland, and it's got nothing there she'd like."

"You can't deny there's more buildings there than here," said Ditzy. "I've been there, and--"

"So have I. There's also parks, and museums, and candy stores, and all the things Dinky likes." Cheerilee fixed Ditzy's eyes in a hard gaze. "Why are you lying to your daughter, Ditzy?"

"I didn't lie!" the mailmare protested. "It just... it didn't come up."

"Uh-huh."

Ditzy frowned and began to trot back to her couch. "She's my daughter," she said. "Not yours. I can tell her what I want."

Cheerilee began to say something, but Trixie again cut her off. "Do you think that's what Dinky deserves?"

"I think..." Ditzy closed her eyes. "I think I'd prefer not to talk about it."

There was silence for a few moments, and then Trixie moved to sit on the couch. "Ditzy--"

"I said, I don't want to talk about it." She scowled. "Why are you still here?"

"Because we're your friends," said Trixie. "And we know you're going to regret this in a few days, once it's too late to do anything about it."

"And because Dinky is a student in my class," added Cheerilee. "I have a responsibility to her."

"Not like mine," hissed Ditzy. "I am her mother. If she gets hurt, or if something else bad happens to her, it is entirely on my shoulders." She stood and glared at Cheerilee. "You might be a teacher, but that's a responsibility you never bore. I have."

"If a student gets hurt in my class, I take the blame," snapped Cheerilee.

"And if Dinky gets hurt at any other time -- at night in bed, at a friend's house, on a trip, anywhere -- it's on me!" Ditzy yelled. "It will be my fault, because I wouldn't have been a good enough mother to prevent it! If Dinky breaks a leg in Manehattan, if she has a permanent injury, it will be entirely because of my bad decisions. You aren't a mother, and you don't know what that's like. Either of you." Her eyes flashed. "I will not let my daughter get hurt."

"You're hurting her now, Ditzy," said Trixie in a quiet voice. "Have you seen her lately?"

Ditzy didn't want to think about the reasons Dinky had been quiet and withdrawn for the past couple days, or why Dinky had rejected all attempts to play games or otherwise have fun with her mother in the preceding evenings. "She made the choice of her own free will. I'm sure she'd be unhappy if I forced her to take the test." She scowled. "She chose."

"No," said Trixie. "She didn't. She made her choice because she knew the choice you wanted her to make. Your daughter is really smart, Ditzy. It's why she qualified for the test in the first place. She knew you were lying about Manehattan because you didn't want her to go. So she took the option she thought would make you happy."

"I told her that she should choose what she wants--"

"So, what, if she didn't, now it's on her?" asked Cheerilee. "You know better than that, Ditzy."

There was silence for another few moments. Ditzy got up and began making tea, but she barely seemed to be focusing on the teapot and the water. "What do you want?" she asked at last.

Trixie rose from the couch. "Right now? I want to know why. Ditzy, this isn't like you. You're the best mother I've ever known. You've done so much for Dinky... why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Telling your daughter that you don't want her to go. Using emotional blackmail to get her to give up this incredible opportunity, because she thinks if she takes it, she'll hurt her Momma, the one pony she loves more than any other," said Cheerilee in a flat, brisk voice. "Doing that."

"I didn't--" Ditzy could see that her friends didn't believe her, and she let the sentence trail off. "I told her what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do." She raised her voice a little. "What does it matter if I don't want her to go? I didn't force her. I let her choose!"

"Why don't you want her to go?" asked Trixie.

"Maybe I just don't want her to. Lots of parents don't let their foals go to Sharpwhinny. Only 25% of foals that qualify even attempt the test. Why don't you go bother them?"

Cheerilee shook her head. "Of those foals," she said, in a brisk and scholarly voice, "Many of them, while academically qualified, lack the emotional maturity to perform well away from home -- they wouldn't do homework without being prompted to by parents, or would become shy and withdraw from campus life, or some other such situation. Dinky, however, has demonstrated remarkable maturity from her age, and would have no problem in that regard. Still other foals are needed to assist their parents with their jobs, as Apple Bloom helps with chores on Sweet Apple Acres. Those foals might be unable to leave home -- but Dinky is not in such a situation. Some might know in advance that, while the top of their class, they are still unlikely to perform well on the admissions test, and so don't want to bother taking it -- but Dinky told us that she wants to try." Cheerilee paused, as if for emphasis. "There are several reasons why foals or parents might not want a slot at Sharpwhinny, but I'm not aware of any that apply to your daughter."

"Well, then she could get hurt!" said Ditzy, blurting out her real reason without thinking about it. "She almost did, a week ago -- and the only reason she didn't is because she's friends with the Apples!" The mailmare slammed a hoof onto her kitchen table for emphasis. "Dinky is safe in Ponyville. She knows ponies that will look out for her -- me, you, and all the others. She doesn't know anypony in Manehattan! Do you think if she got caught in a rainstorm, she could just knock on some random stranger's door and be let inside? She'd--"

"Get wet?" asked Cheerilee.

"She could get hurt! She could break a leg, or catch some serious disease, or get lost! She could get abducted! She could walk off a pier and drown!"

"Ditzy--"

"Think about it!" insisted the hysterical mailmare. "I caught Dinky sneaking out after dark to try to get sweets at one of Pinkie's late-night parties two weeks ago. Remember, I had to cancel her magic lesson with you because she was grounded? Well, what if she does that in Manehattan? She sneaks out and she decides to run over to a candy shop she likes a few blocks away. And she gets hit by a carriage in the dark. Or she gets mugged. Or she gets lost and she's wandering around in the night for hours, hopelessly turned around and miles and miles away from anypony that would know or care that she's missing! Or she turns her ankle and she's stuck outside all night, crying and terrified, in pain, because she's not friends with any of the adults there and nopony would stop to help her!"

"Ditzy--" Trixie tried again.

"Or the class trips! I mean, she almost got away from you in Canterlot -- and that was with three adults there who knew her and an entire castle full of Guards, and she still wound up playing Diplomacy with Trixie's personal enemy! I know Sharpwhinny has all the students go on class trips once a term, and they go all over Equestria and sometimes even to neighboroing countries. What if they take her to the Rainbow Factory up in Cloudsdale, and she wanders away from the group and falls into one of the machines? Or maybe they'll take her to Neigh Orleans where she could get lost in the bayou swamps! Or what if they go to Stalliongrad to see the old castle, and Dinky falls off the battlements or gets lost in the Rushian steppes? Or--"

"DITZY!" yelled Cheerilee.

Ditzy, her train of thought derailed, stopped talking. "I mean--"

Trixie shook her head. "Sharpwhinny's been open a long time, Ditzy. They know what they're doing. Foals don't get hurt there any more often than at any other school, they have highly qualified medical staff, and there's plenty of supervision. None of those things are going to happen. You know you're overreacting."

"Fine! I'm overreacting! I'm weak!" Ditzy yelled. "I guess I'm just a weak stupid mare who can't bear to see her daughter go thousands of miles--"

Before she could say anything else, Cheerilee's hoof was planted firmly over her mouth.

"No," the teacher said. "No, Ditzy, you aren't weak. You helped us get through the Everfree Forest and defeat Corona, the Tyrant Sun. You helped beat those lizards under Canterlot Castle to rescue Trixie. You fought off that mobster who wanted to abduct Dinky. You are not weak, Ditzy. You do not have that excuse."

Ditzy seemed to deflate, slumping to the ground. Tears began to spill from her eyes. "Those times were different. I look at Dinky, and I see... I see horrible things happening to her in Manehattan..."

Trixie trotted over. "Ditzy, we can help you. I can enchant some kind of communication spell -- or we can have Luna do it; you've certainly done enough for the country to merit that. Mayor Mare, as an alumnus, could ask the administrators there to write you updates on how Dinky is doing. Ditzy, you could go to Manehattan every weekend to see your daughter -- you're a Knight, as long as you do a good deed of some kind while you're in town, the government'll pick up most of your train fare and hotel bill, and trust me, I can find ponies in Manehattan that could use the services of a wonderful pony like yourself."

Ditzy clutched Trixie as a drowning mare would a life-preserver. "What if that isn't enough? You don't understand... I'm so scared! If she gets hurt--"

"She's being hurt now," said Cheerilee. "Ditzy, just telling her not to go would be one thing. I could understand that, even though I think it would be wrong, and I think Dinky would too. She'd be sad for a day or two and then get over it. But you made her 'decide' not to go for your sake. Ditzy, your daughter is too young to be giving up on her hopes and dreams for the sake of another."

Ditzy said nothing. She was seeing Dinky, now -- not in Manehattan, but in Ponyville. A Dinky who had never moved out of the town, who had never done anything with her life or taken the slightest risk, for fear of hurting her mother. A Dinky who lived her life in an unremarkable, safe way, and wondered at night, perhaps, if she could have done something more. Who never resented her mother for making her waste her life as an idle mediocrity... but whose life was wasted all the same.

"You're a strong mare," said Trixie. "We know you are. You need to be strong now, Ditzy. For your daughter's sake."

Ditzy shut her eyes. "I can't..." she trailed off. "Would you help me?" she almost whispered.

"Of course. Ditzy, we'll always be there for you. We're your friends."

Realistically, Ditzy knew the odds were very small of Dinky being hurt in Manehattan. The odds were certain of Dinky being hurt if she gave up on her ambitions to placate and ease the worries of her foolish old mother. She knew the right thing to do, but she could barely open her mouth to say it. "I know."

There was silence for a moment. And then Ditzy whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"You need to tell Dinky, Ditzy. Not us." Trixie hugged her friend. "Do you know where she is?"

"She's... she's with Scootaloo, I know where..." Ditzy shook her head. "I'll go..."

"Do you want us to go with you?" asked Trixie.

"No. I need to do this myself." Ditzy coughed a couple of times. "I'll just have to hurry."

"Are you sure?" Cheerilee frowned. "Ditzy, if you guilt her again--"

"I won't. I know... it's hard, but I know what I need to do." Ditzy bowed her head. "Thank you for talking to me--"

"Don't thank us yet. The test is soon, Ditzy. Go talk to your daughter. Have her make a real choice," said Cheerilee. "

Ditzy nodded again and went to her door. "Dinky," she murmured to herself. "Don't worry, my little Muffin. Your mother is coming."

She went out the door, and a few moments later, she had taken flight and was racing to find her foal.

***

"Can't we stall the test?" asked Trixie as the two ponies returned to city hall. "I mean, what if a bunch of Knights of the Realm requested a fifteen-minute recess?"

"No. This is a national exam; it's beginning at precisely the same time all over the country. Allowing students to start late here gives them a few extra minutes to study. It's an unfair advantage."

"Yeah, but... you're proctoring, right? Couldn't you just let it slide?"

"I'm not proctoring." Cheerilee gestured at a fancy carriage parked outside the town hall. "The Academy sends an official proctor to monitor each testing center. I don't have any power in that room, and I can't push the test time back. Ditzy needs to get this wrapped up before the test begins at noon."

Trixie tilted her head. "That's in less than an hour," she said. "I... let's at least get one of the faster pegasi involved. Rainbow Dash owes me about five thousand favors thanks to the whole 'legally a natural disaster and so not responsible for damages incurred by her stunt training' thing I've been keeping going for her. She could go and fly Dinky back to Ponyville once Ditzy talks her around."

"I talked to Raindrops earlier. Rainbow Dash is napping in White-Tail Woods today. We can't get there in time." Cheerilee sighed. "I think this is something Ditzy is going to have to do herself. I wish we could help more, but she's on her own."

"Nuts." Trixie frowned. "Well... nevertheless, I have faith in her. She's the best mother I've ever known. She'll work it out."

"I hope so."

***

The sky was bright and blue, with only a few fluffy clouds dotted around like isolated islands in the air. The sun was nice and warm, perfect for sunbathing or swimming or playing hoofball on the beech. The birds trilled sweet tunes, and the bugs playfully buzzed along with them.

Ditzy ignored all of this. She was just focused on the little field where Dinky had said she would be playing. She hadn't raced in years -- even during the Running of the Leaves, she limited herself to a brisk trot -- but this was different. Her daughter's future was on the line.

"Hold on, Muffin," she whispered. "Momma is coming."

Her wings pounded the air behind her. Sweat was beading through her skin and soaking her coat. A few droplets dripped into her eyes; this stung, but she just blinked firecely and kept going.

"Momma," she added, "Is not going to let you down."

Comments

[DreadedCandiru2]

Ditzy Doo: digivolve to...EDUCATION MAMA!!!!!!!!

[Talon and Thorn]

Interesting but I'm not sure if Dinky would really be that crushed by not getting a chance to take the test, its not like she's really wanted to go to the school before but I suppose it could be a road not travelled for her to look back on.

[wolfstorm56]

Good. Really looking forward to where this ends up. Ditzy super-irritated me last chapter (and yes I know it's realistic but it's just a personal thing) so it's good the others managed to talk some sense into her.

[LeviTheBossGuy]

oh well,looks like theres no cheerilee face

[Zap Apple Smash]

That's it, go Ditzy go!

This was a good chapter, it covered all the bases it needed to, both in terms of Ditzy voicing and facing her fears as well as Trixie and Cheerilee snapping Ditzy out of her funk.

Though honestly I'm now curious to see how this will turn out whether this will result in Dinky making the choice she wants and not the choice she thinks her momma wants.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Go, Cheerilee and Trixie!

[evileric]

Poor Derpy.

[TheGreatEater]

Errors in this chapter.

3276178

I second this. The deserve a whole basket of cookies.

[General Lemarc]

Why are you still here?"
"Because we're your friends," said Trixie. "And we know you're going to regret this in a few days, once it's too late to do anything about it."

A friendship lesson the show should tackle

[Lord King Cocoon]

Ironically, Ditzy is acting a lot like Corona is. At her core, she's an overprotective mother figure who doesn't realize that her children are capable of standing on their own four hooves.