The Cutie Mark Crusaders have gone missing, and a fire rages in the Everfree Forest. Coincidence? Probably not. Now it's up to Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity to brave the forest and find the girls. After all, charging head long into a burning forest full of carnivorous beasts couldn't possibly go wrong.
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As everyone probably guessed, this was originally intended as a contest submission, but I missed the deadline, so I'm submitting it as a regular story. Supposing everyone isn't sick of tales of strange creatures invading the flaming Everfree Forest while the main six are on vacation, I'd appreciate harsh critique on what I do wrong and what I can improve.
Applejack stopped in her tracks, turning to face the ponies trailing her. “Consarn it, would you both stop with the bickering!? We’ve got more important things to worry about than a few little bugs.”
And that's when a giant stage beetle lands in front of them on all sixes with enough impact to cause all ponies to be an inch off the grounds for a few seconds and roared at them.
"Okay. How about one big bug?"
"Ah shud yer trap."
I'm worried about this fire hitting Zecora's house . . .OR THE POISON JOKE PATCH! Imagine if that stuff gets into the air!
After a few seconds, Rarity touched the elephant in the room. “So…who else moves that it is not immoral to leave a tree to burn in a forest?”
Not if you just had a conversation with it!
The would-be hero was sent rolling back towards the group, bowling over Applejack and knocking her to the ground alongside Rarity.
As is RD's curse.
I’ll fly us outta here one pony at a time and we’ll be gone in ten sec-“ there was a crack as a tree fell from an absurd distance and whacked the pegasus squarely on her left side, knocking her to the ground.
Now that's just cheating.
You think the girls wouldn't care much for alchemy after it's backfired twice on them already.
241998
As far as Zecora's house being safe from the fire goes, I just assume that her house is made of unobtanium and is completely indestructible, which is how she manages to safely live in the Everfree Forest at all.
As for the crusaders and alchemy, I'm pretty sure their central theme is that they never learn. Not, ever.
Thanks for the comment!
243087
Pretty sure that last part is just bad writing and over adherence to the status quo.
243095
Also true.
This sounds like the perfect opportunity for an oddly-relevant musical number!
"having figured out exactly where there sisters must have run off to" -
"The chupacabra saw the groups change in tactics" -
"there was a crack as a tree fell from an absurd distance and whacked the pegasus squarely on her left side, knocking her to the ground." - MURPHY'S LAW
interesting very interesting