(My first fic, so be brutal at your opinions!)
It was just another Friday afternoon when Fluttershy was preparing tea for her guests. But these were no ordinary visitors, no...
Chapters (2)
Torchwood202
Joined 9th Oct, 2012 ·
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I lol'd at
Tube thingy? Haha
Good story, but the only problem I have is how you layout your paragraphs. You haven't quite set it out properly, but otherwise, this is a great start to a story! Keep going!
You've got a bit of an issue with verb tenses. When you make a disgression like "where is the kettle" as part of the narration, it should still be in the past tense.
2977961 Hmm... I'll remember that...
lets see
Operator- Slenderman
Mr.big -Bigfoot
Nessie - Loch Ness Monster
Meh-Teh - The yeti/abominable snowman
13th and GS still elude my knowledge
2979683 I'll give you a hint... 13th's actual name is "The 13th Child"
GS stands for something... and his real name begins with C.
2979872 I got it GS stands for goat snacher so its the chupacabra.
I shuld have known that
13th child i just googled and got the jersey devil
2980174 It was pretty hard to try to secretly hide the identities of the visitors because I need to introduce them anyway... But I think I did good at this story
2980302 you did extremely well at hiding them and writing the story. you should feel proud of yourself.