Once again, poor Princess Luna misses out on the adventure. While Twilight Sparkle and her friends were saving the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Princess Celestia and Spike defended Canterlot, Princess Luna was nowhere to be found. Just like the Royal Wedding.
But that doesn't mean the beloved Princess of the Night was taking it easy during the passing of the Secretariat Comet. Canterlot was not the only city that was threatened by magical beasts enhanced by the comet's strange magic, and Princess Celestia wasn't the only Princess defending her subjects that night.
Only...something is different with this monster that is attacking Manehattan. It is unlike anything Luna has ever seen, and when even her enhanced magic from the comet fails to stop the creature, she must find another way to defeat it before it destroys her and the city.
I read the comic too. It would be nice to see PL and PC kicking more flank. ( Luna didn't even get a chance to kick some flank in the nightmare arch of the comic series!)
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Yes, Luna did seem to get a bit cheated out of her chance to shine. Although I did like that all the other ponies had their moments. Octavia smashing an enemy with her cello was awesome. It does look like season four is attempting to fix that though.
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I suppose. We'll see what happens.
I haven't read the comic... perhaps I should. If I did would it spoil much?
Either way, a magic resistant marshmallow pony that is four stories tall could be a foe worthy of a princess. It's interesting that can be hurt by electrical/plasma/positron attacks... is it time to call Rainbow Dash and Derpy? or the rest of the bat ponies? and do other physical attacks work... What happens when you put a marshmallow in the ocean? (I might have to take a trip to the beach to try that) and will traditional fire harm it?
I suppose only time will tell.
On another note this is a great battle cry;
"I shall be forced to do battle with thee."
Perhaps someday i'll find a way to use it.
It's great to see that you can write battle scenes as well as you can write romances.
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Hi FireTide!
Fun fact, I have never written a romance scene, much less a story, in my entire life. Often times I find romance to be...boring? No, that's not right. I don't know. Too 'sugary' I guess. Seeing all those covers on romance books of a man with a perfect chest having a girl draped over him really turned me off the genre. And anime romances tend to get so corny that my skin crawls (Shakugan no Shana comes to mind), but then I have read a few good romance stories. I studies those closely, trying to figure out what I liked about them. I'm glad you think I wrote it well though.
Battle scenes and action are actually my favorite things to write. I was actually worried that this scene didn't come with enough action, but I didn't want it to turn into an all out brawl yet. As for your other questions...I think it's safe to say that physical attacks would work, but the thing is so big that it would be like throwing a pebble against a wave to stop it. You'd need something a lot bigger than one pony can manage. As for the ocean, I'm still up in the air if that will play a part. Finally, for you last few questions, I'll just say you're on to something. I'm not saying what question, but you're paying attention, that's for sure.
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Hey Zeck,
I can understand the romance being overly supermodel in design or incredibly cheesy. I have also found Anime romance to be one of the worst about exaggerating everything in well, everything...
Either way i'm glad to hear you're back in your home element, And I thought there was just enough combat/action in this chapter as it was introducing the characters and rule #1.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT VINAL YOU EVIL MARSHMELLOW PONY
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Yep. Splat.
. . .
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...?
3042930 I'm not sure what to say so I'll wait until I have read more.
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Hm...worried about Vinyl or something else I wonder? The next chapter will be the last, so then you'll have all the information you need. I'm a bit worried now, but hold off until you've got what you need.
A nice ending to a nice story.
I look forward to more of your writing.
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Thanks. I always tell myself that as long as one pony enjoyed my story, then I haven't failed. And thank your for joining my growing army of pony followers. I'm going to start my next story either tonight or tomorrow.
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I eagerly await your next story.
As long as the four ponies did not come closure,<- did you mean closer?
“Uuuuhh,” something moaned. Lune looked to her left and felt her blood run cold. (Luna typo)
“Um, Your Majest, about what Vinyl just said, I—” Is Majest an intentional slur or another typo?
hope that helps. :D
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I'd assumed Vinyl lived but I couldn't figure out how... you don't seem like the sort who'd kill off a character like that.
Silent wing was a toss-up as battles have casualties, but there was an easy logical way for him to have survived. Either way i'm a happy that all is safe once again in Equestira.
Great ending though i'd hate to try and clean that mess up. And who better than our beloved sweets baker to be responsible?
Will the next story be about Lyra and Bon-Bon?
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Gah! I found several typos where I used Lune instead of Luna and I thought I caught them all. Guess not. I'll have to go back and fix all those things.
I'm not sure on the next story. I was planning on doing the battle in the Everfree forest one, but the Lyra x Bon Bon one has been eating at me, so I think that one will be next. We'll see tonight when I finally sit down to write it.
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I look forward to reading either one. :)
So much AAWWWWWWWWW. I really loved reading this story!
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That's an interesting idea. The problem though is that I try to avoid writing about 'main' characters in the show. They can have guest roles--like Rarity in "Who Am I?"--but I try to stay away from using them because I'm always afraid I'll write them wrong, and that includes Big Mac.
...Which doesn't really explain why I write Luna, does it?
I suppose I could give that story a shot (after all, Big Mac really only says Yep or Nope), but it wouldn't be for a long time. I need to finish the story I'm working on, then I have two Bon Bon ones, a Fiddlesticks one, a Sea Swirl one, and the big one that was hinted at in this very story in regards to Octavia.
All i could think of was ghostbuster...
I was almost expecting her to be attacked by a marshmallow she was about to eat and turns out to be a unicorn messing with her.
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I'm pretty sure that the line was a reference to Ghostbusters, seeing as the comics are full of pop culture references. Like I said, in the final comic of the 'Queen Chrysalis Returns' story, Princess Celestia says that a giant marshmallow pony attacked Manehattan. That, coupled with with a picture at the end of Princess Luna looking at a Manehattan map and thinking she's completely lost, it what lead to this story.
I do like that idea though, about a Unicorn just playing a prank on Luna. Perhaps an April Fool's story for next year...
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I pretty much saw this whole thing as kind of a ghostbusters in equestria. Of course it's not, but it helped my imagination.
I'm really confused with vinyl's near death and being saved. Didn't they actually see her dead, and wouldn't they have seen her being saved?
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Here's what happened:
The cart was falling, about to crush Luna and Vinyl. Silent Wing sees this, and starts diving in to save Luna. However, Vinyl shoves Luna out of the way at the last second. Silent Wing adjusts for this and moves to save Vinyl, but she's going so fast that she can't quite make the turn. She snatches Vinyl and moves her out of the way, but at the same time she loses control and crashes down the alley.
Meanwhile, Luna is so focused on the cart--and the fact that she has just been shoved--that she completely misses Silent Wing saving Vinyl (it is dark, the cart just smashed in front of her, and Silent Wing is fast). She did just hit the ground, and I'm sure you close your eyes when you slam into something too. Throw in the fact that Luna immediately needs to get back up and move or she and Octavia are toast, and that's how she misses Vinyl being saved.
Hope that helped.
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Kind of what i figured. Unless i am mistaken, i believe i read something about luna looking and seeing vinyl screaming, or silently having her mouth open as if she was.
This is silly. I like it!
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Thanks. I tried to make it a bit of a goof ball story. I mean, a giant marshmallow pony? Too good to pass up.
Looks like i've been reading too much lately. I read this a few weeks ago and didn't even remember.....lol. You have a lot of good stories for me to go through!
Nobody smacks up Best Pony in my town!