Sharing Sadness
Twilight had agreed with the girls to meet at Sugarcube Corner tommorrow at 2:00. The rest had been excited for Twilight, but as for her? Not so much.
She had hardly gotten sleep that night, for the horrible depression had washed her out and seemed to be slowly drowning her. She wanted Spike, and so badly, to comfort her, to tell her it would be all right. But he was helping to barricade her already safe house. She wished that it could be simple, like when she was a unicorn. But it wasn't at all.
Twilight slipped out of bed, guided by the assurance of her glowing horn. She walked very silently through the halls, staring at the tainted glass paintings that told stories passed for generations. She light hoofedly had walked to the kitchen.
She went into the pantry and took out a small cinnamon roll along with a coffee. She hurredly carried both over to the satin encovered tableset and sat down. Maybe a small morsel would get her mind off of things.
"You're up early."
Twilight dropped the coffee, and the mug shattered to smithereens. Cursing bitterly, she used her magic to pick up the small pieces and put them in the trash. "Who is it?" she asked, hastily cleaning up the coffee mess. She was obviously upset with the stranger, whoever they were.
A dark figure stood up. "It's Luna."
Twilight turned around. "Oh, I'm sorry, princess-"
Luna shook her head. "No," she said. "It's my own fault."
Twilight was very puzzled. "Why are you up?" she sat down by the table reluctantly, as though she expected an answer that would be a new mission, a reason to save ponyki-
"Hello? Princess of the Night?" Luna used hoof gestured toward the window that was draped by the night sky.
"Oh." Twilight blushed. Maybe not everything meant saving the earth from monsters. But she knew she was glad, as she already had many weights on her shoulders.
Luna stirred her own cup if coffee and set it back down. She put her hooves up and rested her flat chin on her hooves, like a young filly at a sleep over about to gossip. But her expression was serious. "Sparkle, I want to warn you- your friends will not understand as much as you think."
Twilight bit her lip. "But Luna, they're my friends! Of course they'll understand me, especially Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie. They'll understand me!"
The blue mare sighed. "Twilight Sparkle, maybe the kind Fluttershy and understanding Pinkie Pie will, but think. Rainbow Dash, she's rumbunctious, not so understanding, a sore loser. How would she react, Sparkle?"
The new alicorn sighed and looked away.
Luna stirred her coffee again. "I thought so."
Twilight put her head in her hooves. "I...I don't know what I'll do."
She placed her coffee down and stared intently at Twilight. "Explain it. If they do not understand, try to defend yourself. If it doesn't work, just give up." she looked back down at her coffee. "Simple."
Twilight had become enraged. "No, not simple! You don't know what it's like to have friends!" Too late.
Luna's expression turned from serious to emotional. She whispered hoarse with anger, "Go back to the guest room. Now."
"But I'm so-"
"GET OUT!"
Twilight looked at her, about to cry herself. She walked out of the room, her wings low. If she had already sis this to an ever patient and respectable princess, what would she do to her friends?
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- DiscordsAdvocate · 49k words · 146 8 · 3.8k views
- Tridon2951 · 43k words · 107 7 · 3.8k views
- Teh_Zodiac · 64k words · 135 15 · 5.3k views
- Ark125 · 47k words · 118 14 · 3.7k views
- Scorch215 · 7k words · 375 12 · 9.5k views
- ThatHandsomeDevil · 17k words · 439 17 · 13k views
- GigaBowser · 75k words · 479 23 · 16k views
- Kolwynia · 58k words · 394 18 · 5.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.071 seconds
Total duration
652 users online
915,483 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Your chapters are really short. Here, have a mistake which I found.
Change that to 'especially'
I love this story
3675847
Thanks man!
3675512
Thanks for the advice!
Oh, I suck at spelling words like that.
Nice Story!
4237662
Thanks, but I don't really like it and I'm pretty sure it will be discontinued.
4239882 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE CONTINUE!!!
4240168
I'll keep going at it if I can find the time.
Maybe.
One problem I would recommend working on is the suspension of disbelief, the flow in a story that maintains the readers interest. One problem most authors have when there starting out is that they break the disbelief by stating facts instead of telling the story, no build up. Another thing I'm confused how does no pony know about death by old age at all.
errors i found:
chapter 1;
How would she know where her sister's room is in Canterlot since they lived in the Castle of the Two Sisters
chapter 3;
should be Celestia not Luna
how she could
the subject
chapter 5;
plot problem- Twilight said she would miss her friends but never elaborates on it and Spike never questions it
chapter 6;
She wanted so badly for Spike to comfort her and to tell her it would be all right.
or
She so badly wanted Spike to comfort her and to tell her it would be all right.
sis is not a verb, not sure what you meant so many verbs work
I like the concept and the story was good for a first attempt. I recommend to read some other stories and get a feel for suspension of disbelief. Also maybe pay a little more attention to grammar. I hope this is helpful and you continue and if you want maybe a rewrite(it is your story). Thank you.
4778205
I appreciate it while this story will likely go unfinished.
Yes, I wrote this when I was young and never completed it. It was written back in early season three, so I didn't know about the old castle and new castle.
"Sis" was supposed to be "did", it was a typo.
But thanks very much for the critique!
alicorns really do live forever. such is stated by celestia herself. but normal ponies do not. it should make twilight all the more protective of their friendships, because she must face the prospect of losing the others, to eventual old age. she must also cherish the company of celestia, luna, cadence, and spike. these friendship will become the most important to her, as she will watch all her little ponies live their lives and eventually pass on. she must love them all so much more because of this fact. she will have to let go of each of them, but she must appreciate them being in her life. they will leave her with such precious memories, but the memories must not threaten to crush her spirit. the other princesses will be there for her, as she must be for them. they must be each others support.
5751996 Exactly.