Heartless (Edited)
Kingdom Hearts of Harmony
By Steel Soul
Heartless
Green to start music and red to stop music
Sora awoke alone. His basic instincts taking over, the boy would jump to his hooves, summoning his keyblade as he did so. Seeing no attack was imminent, he would next take stock of his surroundings. Gazing out into the abyss, the hero was surprised by what he had found. The sky was aglow with a deep dark purple haze, almost to a sinister degree, wisp-like clouds hovering below a lightless sun. The world he sat upon was barren of all life, dark sand being the only thing as far as his eyes could see for miles. In the distance though, wicked looking mountain peaks could be seen, each one curving at an unnatural angle, as if twisted by the very world they were within. Overall it gave the keyblade wielder a vibe he didn’t like.
Cold and chilling, a world devoid of light. Something he had seen before.
“Is this...This is like the world of darkness” he told himself in a whisper, remembering when he and Riku were here once before. Sora frowned. “If I’m down here then the others...I have to find them before heartless do. I just hope they are-Huh?”
Sora’s body instantly locked up as his gaze fell upon something rather peculiar in the distance. There, not too far away from him, surrounded in a bubble of magic not unlike that which had kept Twilight and her heart contained way back in Ponyville, were a group of very familiar ponies. Despite the distance between them, he could clearly see that they were waking up from their own dazed nap, just as he had.
The keyblade wielder's brow furrowed even deeper, “Just what the heck is going on?”
~
The Apple siblings were the first to waken, their own voices stirring the other girls into full alertness.
“Where are we? Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom where are ya!?”
“Ugh...Right here big sis, and can ya not speak so loud...ma head is pounding...”
The apple mare pulled her little sister closer for a hug, much to the other's dismay. "Ah'll yell as many times as it takes if it means that you are alright little sis."
“What the...What is this place?” Scootaloo asked as she tried to sooth a migraine of her own. “How did we get here? The last thing I remember is a lot of black.”
“MY MANE! It’s going to take weeks to get it fixed!” Rarity complained as she pulled a comb out of the saddle bag she had been wearing, trying her best to straighten out any loose ends she had accumulated, much to Rainbow’s growing annoyance.
“Glad you have your priorities straight like always, Rarity,” the cyan pegasus grumbled sarcastically before taking stock of her surroundings. “Are we in some kind of bubble?” she asked as she tapped the dome, causing a gentle ripple to flow through it like rain in a puddle.
“This...this isn’t just some kind of bubble Rainbow Dash,” Twilight answered, a frown forming on her face. “This magic… It’s the same PSY Signature to that of the Heartless’s magic, I can feel it.”
Applejack gave the bubble a wary look at her friend’s words, pulling her little sister closer to her. “That doesn’t sound good. Any ideas on what to do now, Twi?”
The lavender mare shook her head. “A few, but doing so with so little information on my part would be foolish for any magic user. We need to figure out a way to get out of here but being reckless about it would be stupid.”
“Huh? I think we’re missing a pony!” Pinkie Pie quickly took a head count before gasping out loud. “Has anypony seen Sora?”
Twilight’s eyes widened at the revelation that Sora was nowhere to be seen. Something that put more worries onto her already growing pile.
“Somepony,” The lavender mare began, talking slowly as he mind worked furiously, she swallowed a lump a lump cuaght in her thought before she continued. “Somepony must have separated us.”
Sweetie Belle tilted her head at that. “Why would somepony want to separate us from Sora?”
I can think of a few reasons why. Twilight told herself, her body shivering at the thought. And none of them put us in a good situation at all.
“I...I think I can see somepony outside the bubble!” Fluttershy’s words caused every mare to perk up, all of them turning towards where the shy mare pointed. True enough, there was a pony not too far away from where they were trapped. A very familiar pony.
“My goodness! You’re right Fluttershy!” Rarity said before moving a bit closer. “And...And I think that somepony is our darling Sora!”
“Yeah...that's him alright. I know that dorky, spiky hair from anywhere!” Rainbow said as she smirked at her joke, though there was a hint of relief in her tone of voice. “What's he doing out there?”
Twilight shook her head once again, her frown deepening. “Whatever is going on, I don’t like one bit. Everypony, huddle together for a teleport. As much as I want to study and take this slow, we might already be running out of time as it is.” The lavender mare’s horn slowly began to glow, enveloping everyone within with its purple hue. In a snap and a pop, Twilight caused everyone within the bubble to vanish in a flash of light.
Or she would have if her little magic display didn’t end with just her horn glowing like a dim lightbulb.
“Ah, Twi…” Applejack began, a tinge of worry in her voice. “Nothing’s happening.”
“What!?” Twilight tried to teleport them again, receiving the same results as before. The bookish mare shook her head as she tried to fight off the panic in her voice. “That’s… I don’t understand. My magic isn’t working! I think something’s blocking it.” She turned to Rarity with a look of desperation. “What about you?”
The white mare shrugged, though she too was looking rather worried. “I’m not sure darling. Let me....” She activated her magic just as Twilight had done, and just like Twilight, all it did was make her horn glow with its bright blue aura. “N-Nothings...happening....”
Rainbow reared back with a flap of her wings. “Since magic isn’t helping us, why don’t we move on to good old-fashioned force!” Before anyone could stop her, the mare went flying full tilt into the dome. The bubble buckled only slightly before Rainbow went rigid, crying out in agony as jolt of electricity coursed throughout her body.
“Rainbow!” Applejack cried out as soon as she saw the mare suffering, running towards her. “Don't worry ah got cha!”
“AJ, over here!” Pinkie called out to the farm mare, bending down in front of her path. Seeing this, Applejack picked up her speed before leaping into the air and landing on the pink one’s back. With a hefty buck of her hindquarters, Pinkie sent the farm mare high into the air without hesitation. Reaching her with ease, Applejack would latch her teeth around Rainbow’s tail before pulling her off the bubble, the farm mare tossing her friend out of harms way, right into the waiting hooves of the pink party pony.
“Oh no! Rainbow!” Scootaloo called out, rushing to the mare’s side, followed by the rest of her friends.
Twilight quickly placed a hoof against Rainbow’s neck before letting her ear press against her chest. She sighed with relief. “She's...going to be okay. I think it was just a nasty jolt of electricity that she ran into. All weather pegasi are trained to handle something like that so she’ll be fine after some rest.”
“Rather she could handle it or not, somepony knew what we would try and countered it all.” Applejack spoke up with ire in her tone. “And because of that somepony got hurt regardless. If ah ever get my hooves on that there varmint...”
Fluttershy whimpered before looking out towards Sora, who was already running towards them. “Please...be safe…”
~
Sora had watched everything unfold with confusion at what he was looking at, and then fear at the sight of Rainbow Dash getting hurt. The stallion kicked his hooves into high gear as he made a mad dash towards his entrapped friends.
Just hang on girls! I’m coming! I’ll save you!
The words repeated in his mind, fueling him on as he neared his destination, only to be stopped as a gateway to darkness opened in front of him, a very familiar black robed pony stepping through the portal.
“Well, well, well. Looks like we meet again, little hero,” she greeted, the tone of her voice making the word hero sound more like an insult than anything else.
Sora was not deterred however as he stood, summoning his keyblade as he did so. Lowering his head, and scraping a hoof against the ground, he addressed the mare in a tone unlike his usual peppy demeanor. “I know you...You're the pony that attacked Ponyville!”
The mare chuckled darkly, “Oh...I was oh so hoping you would remember me little hero. Leaving a lasting impression on ponies is what I'm good at after all. One would even say it was my special talent as it were.”
Sora scoffed before growling at the unicorn. “I’m guessing you’re the one who trapped my friends in that bubble. Why don’t you make this easier on yourself and let them go!”
She tilted her head, the red shimmering of her eyes and the wicked smile she gave unnerving him slightly. “Oh my...I'm shaking in my hooves. Still, I don’t think you’re in any position to give demands. In fact...I think it might just be down right deadly for you to talk back to me the way you are.”
Sora raised his head, giving her a questioning look until he heard cries of distress coming from the bubble behind the mare.
Before him, the bubble that held his friends captive was beginning to compress slowly, but surely, into itself, the mares and fillies all looking fearfully around them as it did so.
Sora’s worry grew to fear and then turned to rage as he turned to face the cloaked mare. “What are you doing?! Let them go!”
“Tsk, tsk. Now why would I do that? Not when I have a lovely little game for us to play. Now why don’t you go ahead and make your Keyblade disappear, unless you want them to turn into a rather messy puddle of goo.”
Sora flinched at that. He didn’t want to believe that this crazy mare would kill...just like that...but he couldn't afford not believing her words. With a flash of light, his weapon disappeared, though his scowl never left his face. The mare smiled softly before making her way towards him, her hips swaying back and forth in an exaggerated manner as she did so.
“There. That's a good boy. Now, we can start this game properly.” The mare giggled softly before summoning several blades of magic all around her. “Here's the rules. The longer you survive, the longer the bubble keeps in place. If you’re on anything but your hooves when you touch the ground, the bubble shrinks.” She took a swipe at him with one of the blades, the stallion easily dodging it with a quick jump backwards. “If you summon your weapon, the bubble shrinks.” She took another swipe, forcing him to dodge again. “If the blade touches you… it shrinks,” She took another swipe and the stallion dodged it yet again. “You ready? One. Two. Three...GO!”
Instincts kicked Sora into overdrive as he jumped off towards the side, a blade rushing past him from behind. The mare chuckled before full-out laughing. “Oh that's good. You’re going to be so much fun! I can feel it!” She smiled at the boy. “Do make this last! I want you to suffer for making a fool of me before I bring you to my master!”
She launched herself towards Sora, the stallion having little to do but concentrate on the sick game she forced upon him.
Lives depended on it.
~
“Uhg… Dangit. Y’all alright, Apple Bloom? Girls?” Applejack asked as she looked around her, eyeing the bubble wearily.
“Ah… ah think so, sis,” the little farm filly answered as she too stared at the bubble’s walls, though in a more fearful gaze. “Not hurt or anything.”
"Y-Yeah. No sweat, right?” Scootaloo answered as well in a shaky tone of voice.
“That was...what happened?” Rarity stuttered as she slowly rose to her hooves, having fainted when the bubble began to compress around them. She could feel the wind of her sister’s hoof as she gently fanned her.
“The red bubble thingy began to move and shrink the room!” Pinkie exclaimed as she held Rainbow’s head in her lap. “I don’t know why it stopped though. Maybe it got bored.”
“This is no time for Jokes Pinkie!” Applejack dismissed. “There has to be an explanation for this.”
"Sunset Shimmer..."
Everypony looked towards Twilight as she spoke the name, and then their gaze shifted to where hers was settled. Outside the bubble was a mare in a familiar black cloak conversing with Sora. Applejack was the first to speak up for them. “Y’all know her, Twi?”
Twilight shook her head. “Not personally, no. She revealed herself to me and Spike when we were in the castle. She… She told me to ask Celestia who she was.” Before anypony could ask her what she meant, she turned to face them, a scowl playing across her features. “We need to get out of here! She has to be responsible for us being here, and for the bubble shrinking! The longer we’re in here the longer we endanger ourselves and Sora.”
“Jeeze...Did somepony get the number of that storm cloud?” The sound of Rainbow’s voice caused everypony to turned towards the once downed mare.
“OH MY GOSH RAINBOW! YOU’RE OK!” Pinkie shouted as she lifted the mare off the ground Giving the mare a crushing hug. “I WAS SO WORRIED WHEN YOU GOT HURT AND I ALMOST CRIED AND I WAS SO SCARED AND –“
“GAK! Ok Pinkie! I get it!” she yelped as she struggled to be released from her friend’s grip. “Can ya let me go before you crush every bone in my body?”
As soon as the pink one did, Scootaloo would rush towards the cyan mare, hugging the mare tightly. “I knew you would be okay! No magic can keep the coolest pegasus in the world down!”
Rainbow couldn’t help but chuckle softly at that, petting the little filly’s head as she did so. “Darn right...but...ah...Gonna not do that again if I can help it.”
Rarity shook her head gently as she smiled at Rainbow’s words, happy to see her friend still her old self as well. It was then the slightest whisper would catch her ear. The white mare turned to find Fluttershy not too far away, looking out towards where Sora was, her fur a shade paler then usual.
“Fluttershy?” Rarity said, making her way to the distressed mare. “Are you okay, darling? Did you get hurt?”
“He’s not using his sword,” Was the first thing Rarity heard from her, cause the white mare to tilt her head.
“D-Darling? What do you mean?”
The shy mare turned towards her friend, a look a panic on her face. “He’s not using his sword Rarity. His keyblade. Why isn’t he using it?”
~
“What’s the matter, Hero!?” Sunset yelled as she began to fire a barrage of magic Sora’s way. “Not feeling so heroic now, are ya?!”
The stallion ran as fast as he could, narrowly missing each slash of magical energy the mare tried to send his way. He didn’t even offer her a response as he made his way around her, his mind working overtime in coming up with a solution to defeating her. His gaze shifted momentarily towards the bubble where the girls were trapped, hoping that they were alright. It was during this lapse in concentration that Sunset made her move. With a blast of red magic she shifted the ground in front of Sora, causing him to lose his footing, and nearly make him stumble over himself. Her magic charged once again, rocketing towards him with amazing speeds.
With little time to think, the stallion quickly shifted one of the loose bits of debris from under his body, knocking it up into a makeshift shield. The blast connected with the rock, taking the majority of the attack with it. Still, it was not enough as the blast sent Sora flying backwards. He bounced on his back once before shifting his body until he landed on all four hooves. The stallion wasted no time in running towards the yellow mare at full speed. The mare seemed to smirk as he did so, firing off several beams of her magic straight at the stallion. Sora easily dodged each attack aimed his way, jumping at the last second just as he neared the mare. He flipped as she lashed out with a well placed kick, hoping to knock some sense into the devious mare.
It was not to be, however, as just as he attacked, the mare gave him a wicked smile and a familiar red shield flared up around her, not only blocking his attack, but also shocking him harshly, red lightning coursing throughout his body. She released the shield, allowing him to fall into a heap onto the ground before laughing wildly.
“AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh that’s just too perfect! You’re too rich!” She cackled as she looked down upon the fallen hero. “You’re just too predictable you know that?” She looked up with satisfaction as the bubble that held Sora’s friends slowly began to shrink, much to their dismay. “Hehe… What’s the matter, hero? Done already? Get up or your friends are gonna get smashed into pony paste!” She lashed out with her magical blades, though she would only strike at the ground as Sora rolled back onto his hooves away from the mare. He glared at her with such intensity that even she could feel the fire of his heart. “That’s the spirit, hero. Now, shall we continue?”
~
Apple Bloom covered her eyes as another strike from Sunset’s weapon nearly impaled Sora, the stallion having moved just at the last second. When she opened them again, she sighed with relief before turning to her sister. “What’s Sora doing? Why doesn’t he use his giant key thing?”
Applejack looked down at the little filly before turning back to face the ongoing battle raging in front of them. “Ah don’t know little sis. He should have taken the mare down long ago.” The farm mare’s ears perked as she heard Twilight mumble under her breath. Applejack turned to face her friend with a raised eyebrow. “Twilight? Did ya say something?”
The lavender mare looked up as something dawned on her. “He can’t. He can’t fight back.”
“W-What do you mean Twilight?” Sweetie Belle asked. “He took down two monsters bigger then him! He can handle her! I know he can!”
Twilight shook her head. “No, I mean he can’t fight because… because of us.”
“What do you mean, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked frantically. “What are you getting at?”
“This bubble,” Twilight began, “and our magic being useless. Sora not using his Key. Don’t you see? It's all connected.” She pointed to Sora. “I've noticed that everytime Sora is on the ground the bubble starts to shrink...and before that, when Sora had his keyblade out it did the same thing.” She turned to her friends, the anger in her eyes more then evident. “She's using us to cripple Sora.”
Everypony had a mix of shock, horror and disgust on their faces at Twilight’s revelation. It was a long while before Rarity spoke. “Twilight...What do we do?”
The lavender mare’s gaze shifted all around her as her brain worked over time. No magic...no Sora...trapped in a death game with a crazy mare. What do I do...What do I do?!
Fluttershy’s voice calling out Sora’s name caused every mare to look towards the battle, they too gasping at the sight before them.
~
The stallion stood as best he could, pulling his right foreleg close to his body, splats of red liquid coating the ground below the stallion where he held it. He watched as Sunset pulled the blade that she had struck him with close to her, smiling devilishly as the blood, his blood, trickled down the length of the blade.
“Ah… and there it is,” she said in an almost motherly tone. “I know it hurts, but the pain makes you feel alive, am I right?” She stepped closer as she began to ponder something. “And such a beautiful scream you have, little hero. Full of anger, pain, regret… helplessness.” She glared at him. “It's like your heart is an opened book to me. And I know every inch of it”
Sora growled before shaking his head. “You don’t have to do this. Stop while you still can!”
She whipped her blade out at him, cutting him deep in his left shoulder before he could react. He hissed with pain before jumping away from her with a flip of his wings, trying to put as much distance between himself and the mare as he could. The mare cackled madly before whipping her blades before her, “Nope…this is way too fun.” She brandished her blades as she grinned with malicious intent. “Now be a good boy and make it last, hmm?”
Sora frowned as he skidded to a halt, away from her, his mind racing. Has she gotten faster? No...She’s barely moved. And all I've been doing is dodging. I’m wasting too much energy and it's slowing me down. I have to stop her now and save everyone!
Sora gritted his teeth as he made to dodge another attack, but so focused he was on her blades that he had forgotten one simple thing. The mare’s magical beams; a lesson he learned the hard way as he felt the hot magic strike him just as he landed, searing his over foreleg causing him to topple over back onto the ground. In his pained state, he could have almost swore he hard someone cry out his name, though he was sure it was just his own mind yelling at him due to how much danger he was in. Sora was barely on the ground for a moment before he tried to push himself up once more both his forelegs shaking uncontrollably from both cuts and burns upon them. Before he could, however, his hooves were kicked out from under him, causing the stallion to fall back down onto his side in a pained heap. He looked up with defiant eyes towards her as the mare glared down at the stallion.
“Poor little hero. As my master suspected, you’re nothing without that Keyblade of yours.” She smiled. “Not even worth his time, honestly. Killing you and taking your Keyblade here and now seems the most plausible thing to do at this point.” Her ears flicked before she gave Sora an almost motherly smile. “Oh...It seems your friends are quite worried about you. Ya know what...I’m actually feeling generous today. What with the idiot Sombra out of the picture and the hero at my hooves. How about I allow you to say your goodbyes before we end this little game of ours, hmm?” With a sweep of her hooves, the coloration of the bubble that held the girls changed into that of a glass one. She kicked Sora to his side so that he could fully see the girls, each one having both shock and worry clear upon their faces.
“You… you monster!” Rarity cried, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t you touch another hair on that poor boy’s mane or I swear I will-“ the sound of Sora crying out in pain caused Rarity to clutch a hoof to her mouth, shutting the unicorn mare up, and causing Applejack and Rainbow Dash to strike at the glass-like encasing, intent on taking the evil mare down for good, the pain of the lighting be damned.
“Wow...it really does look like your friends really care about you. huh?” the mare commented with a dark glint in her eyes. “Though It’s best to keep what you want to say to the hero. He doesn’t have much time as it is after all. He is going to see my master after all, and I want to save all the screaming for him.” She kicked the stallion again, making Sora double over in pain before slamming a hoof on top of his face, pressing him into the ground as she did so. “What about you, hero? Got anything to say to your adoring fans?”
Sora coughed before looking out towards the girls, his gaze shifting down in shame. “I’m… sorry...I...Just...please...let the girls go... ”
“Don’t you dare!” Rainbow cried out as she slammed a hoof into the glass again. “You’re supposed to be the hero! You’re supposed to be the strongest!” Rainbow looked on as the stallion began to shiver slightly. “Darn it! Don’t give up, Sora! We need you! All of us needs you! Without you we can’t do this! Now get your fat flank in gear and fight!”
Sunset Shimmer began to laugh loudly. “AHHAHAHAHA! Oh wow! Is this the power of friendship I've heard so much about?! You think some words of encouragement are gonna help the hero gain some lost power and beat up the baddies?” She spat and smirked at them. “Like I said before, this is the real world. You survive, like me, or you die. And just to prove a point...” She gripped his hair with her magic, pulling him up so that they were eye level. “I’m feeling extra, extra generous now, so how about this? Prove your will to live and say the word, and I’ll release the magic and kill your so-called friends.” She smiled and winked. “And hey, I’ll throw in a free body change so you can return home and all that jazz. Don't even have to worry about this silly little world ever again. So? What do ya say? Sweet deal, right?”
Sora glared at the mare before growling softly. “I’d rather die before I allow you to hurt my friends.”
She raised an eyebrow before shrugging. Her magic now pinning his head to the ground, much to his displeasure, and his friends’ dismay. “Whoops! Wrong answer. you all lose just for that.” She smiled and forced his head to turn towards the glass bubble with her magic. “Care for the front row seats? I wonder how long it will be before their screams stop, hmm? Let’s find out!”
A flick of her magic was all she needed to make the bubble slowly contract within itself. Sora, in his hazy vision, could do nothing else but watch as his friends fought vainly against the dark unicorn mare. He fought with every instinct he had to make his body move despite the pain, but it was to no avail. The mares’ screams and cries for help reached his ears and all the young Keyblade wielder could do was lay there, hot tears pouring down his face.
“N-No! I… I’m sorry! I… I’m-”
A flash of green filled his vision before he heard a distinct cracking sound.
“What!? WHAT!?” were the only words that the crazy mare was able to get out before he heard a loud sound, as if someone was getting hit. Right before his vision faded from the loss of blood and fatigue, he saw a single hoof land in front of him. A light gray in color, its owner’s fur rippled in the winds of the realm of darkness.
“Kairi says, 'Thanks for making her worry, lazy bones.'”
Sora was only able to say one word as he slipped away from the waking world.
“Ri… ku.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
1,061 users online
1,866,140 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm glad to see this story again. I wonder how Riku will play his part in the story.
Riku never called Sora dork
Man this update made my day. Was wondering where you disappeared to.
Nice timing, Riku. That was too close.
Sunset Shimmer you coward! Using the Elements and the Crusaders against Sora.
Aww man. I wanted this to be longer!!!
The chapter's a bit short, but it was worth it. Hope we get to see Riku fight in the next chapter.
Let the bromance commence.
Finally! I get to see more of this!
Plus, I found a typo,
You're missing an "I" in "spirit".
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4517957
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
Yes. All of my fucking yes.
Totally unexpected
When you said no weapons I thought of 2 things: magic or anti form and I was so excited. Riku coming in is good but I am a sucker for all the good guy goes animalistic like hollow Ichigo and nine tailed naruto. I really hope that you consider anti form to appear eventually. But in the mean time keep on writing cause its really well done
I was hoping for an anti sora transformation, but oh well
Update!
URMMMMMMMMMMM GURL RIKU HERE TO PLAY
Aww man. I wanted to see anti-form so badly. I want to see the Mane 6's reaction to him being a Heartless.
what is this i don't even .............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
You nerfed them all. You made it so that they couldn't save themselves. You made them worthless, including that one pegasus that's apparently one of the two only truly meaningfully heroic characters.
You had better reverse the positions completely at some point, because otherwise, I can't stand you making all the regular ponies less than sidekicks to be rescued.
Sora should be the mane six's clear, and no greater than, equal. You need to nerf him just as shamefully as you did the mane six this round, and make it so that the ponies are the only ones who can save him.
im going to honestly say that this chapter was anti climactic i mean why not show the main six his anti form so they know he is not just a goodie two shoes even sora has darkness in his heart called ANTI-FORM
You have officially made my day!!!!!!!!!!!
So wanted Anti-Sora but nope.
I had a feeling Riku would step in eventually. I'm quite surprised that many people expected anti-sora, considering he doesn't get from anger or desperation. He simply gets it when summoning a form. Anyway, great chapter, was saddened when I arrived at the end. Keep up this amazing story. Oh man, I'm super motivated to type my story now!
Now I wonder how sora reacts after everything calms down from the fights in the near future. The reason why I said that is because sora already feels like a failure after riku passed the exam but he didn't. Now that riku is here to save the day, how will this affect sora?
I was hoping that sora will overcome this obstecle and see that he is worthful but I guess the Arthur has other plans.
damn cliffhangers, I love them but also hate them so much! I cant wait for the new chapter.
Goddammit!
Good chapter and all, but I just don't like seeing Sora in such a vulnerable position. Gives me a bad feeling.
Riku, always playing it cool & cutting it close.
*gaaaaaaaasssssp* YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY~! Riku her ta save the day
4517957 YOU!!!!you are now one of my best friend here
now with the story
WHY?WHY?WHY? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK man why?why add Riku?sora does have a little thing called ANTI-FORM!!!!!!! you could have easily put in anti-form.but you just had to put in Riku.
*sigh*i be waiting for the next chapter. and sora i hope you survive this shit.
4523713
I kid, I kid, I don't care if you don't like Riku, I just thing hes badass
4523736
Yah
Something else I forgot to add, I think it would've been better if Riku said that classic line of his: "Giving up already? Come on, Sora. I thought you were stronger than that."
Seriously, what happened to "I don't need a Keyblade. My friends are my power?"
A few suggestions for later forms and their revelations:
Wisdom (Blue): Rainbow Dash and Twilight. IIRC this drive form floats effortlessly around the battlefield while giving a huge boost in ranged offense against foes you don't want to get close to by allowing what is effectively beam spam as a basic attack instead of slashing with the keyblade. Why Rainbow and Twilight? Agility and Arsenal. rainbow provides the agility while Twilight provides the mana reserves for the spellcasting.
Master (Yellow): Fluttershy and Rarity. To me, Master form always felt like the distillation of tranquil fury into a playable experience. The essence of tranquil fury is control and lots of it. Neither Rarity or Fluttershy are the most powerful of the mane six, but they both have a LOT of control while Fluttershy has those hidden depths of power and assertiveness that can lend themselves well to bringing out the potential of a drive form. Fluttershy provides the main strength for this form by actually allowing Sora to tap into those hidden reserves of hers while Rarity provides the fine control for him to be able to do what he needs to do.
FINAL Form (White): Why do people forget this one? Is it because it's semi-hidden and needs to be unlocked by a random chance triggering after a certain point? Obviously this one involves fusing ALL of the mane 6 with Sora for a huge power boost.
On another note...yeah, you need to push Sora out of the spotlight a bit and give the mane 6 a chance to actually shine. This chapter left a bad taste in my mouth regarding how the mane 6 were rendered entirely helpless. They may not be key bearers or keybladers, or whatever, but any two of them together should be able to do something.
definitely an awesome chapter, I hope you write the next one soon!
Also wanted to say I love the Keyblades of Harmony you used!
I...
Don't know what to make of this.
I have to say I was with the rest of the people hoping that Sora would just lose it and go anti-form, despite being transformed into a pony. But as soon as he began losing like that, I kinda called it that Riku would show up from literally nowhere and save his ass. I'm not pleasantly surprised.
But I'll continue with this story to the end, despite the fact that some of the decisions you've made so far as an author have been somewhat... odd to me.
he Calmed down when the feeling
“He’s not using his sword,” sas the only response
1. Extra capitalisation.
2. Was.
4530446
I understand what you are saying, and I thank you for staying with me for this long. Honestly...I'm still surprised that this is still going on...in any case, I assure you, there is a reason, a clear reason, as to why I make such choices in my story.
Sure, even I cringed every now then then when it came to writing my work, and I was not surprised by how many of you wanted anti-sora. Heck! I even wanted anti-sora! But now is not the time...no...I feel now is not he time for him at all...
As to the girls, while I feel they are quite capable of handling themselves, this is still new to them, and not being prepared for such an attack is testament to that.
You'll find...my good sir...that I'm am quite well attached to my story and every decision I made was to send each and every one of you on my personal emotional roller coaster.
Heh...and it seems to be working quite well...Quite well indeed.
Boo! Riku's here to save the day. plus I called it that he was going to appear. also, in my opinion too much cursing and, well...blood appeared in this...I don't know man...I fell like this chapter wasn't worth the wait...sorry...but don't worry, I'll still stick around to see what happens next. maybe it need more action. oh and I know many people asked for this but, we are still waiting for anti-sora to go lose and wreak havoc on things! but like I said i'll still stick around and see what happens next!
I wonder if Riku is gonna get the girls (or in this case, mares) again.
i hope the next update wont take as long as last time
AWESOME CHAPTER
4538023
Only thing that is a letdown for me was, this whole 'I utterly failed' situation came to soon.
Sora and the mane 6 were riding a emotional high, after a hard boss fight, with all the positive feelings possible and Sora even got to let go of his lie concerning his real body. He met the former elements of harmony, entered Valor mode, fought with (literally in his hoofs) Pinkie and AJ against that Shadow Sombra and bested him. Then he gets saved by Flutters and Rainbow and everyone shares happy thoughts and feels... only for that to be eradicated in an instant by Shimmer Bitch foal-napping them all at once, toying sadistically easy with Sora's life and his friends, showing him yet again that he is weak, something that harshly contradicts his heroic fight against Sombrero, and that he is just a failure.
No doubt a situation like that could have happened later somewhere, but right after the previous boss fight it just came to soon and sudden, as it was an entire 180° from the situation after Sombra was beaten. There should have been at least an intermission of like 1-2 hours before they were all foal-napped, to stretch their victory a little bit.
4560045 You don't get the point.
What bugs me isn't that she might have not been able to capture them later on, or Riku appearing.
I don't condemn the whole idea of the torture fight, although I really think Shimmer Bitch exaggerates with her psycho craziness here.
What I criticize is the situation timing, and the fact that this little unfair 'cage-fight', which only purpose was to humiliate and break Sora and his convictions, was thrown in right after Sora and his friends had this great victory and gained some ground. As I said, Sora was more positively encouraged and determined then ever before, after the talk with Pinks and AJ, and then some more after besting Sombra. But that was all for naught now, since Shimmer Bitch immediately crushed his new gained conviction.
That's what I'm not satisfied with.
It was like going from the dawning sun, into the center of a damn hurricane in an instant, making the picture of the dawn null and void.
4562247 I love Ace Attorney, I've seen all the games, except the new 3D one.
4562432 Î still have to watch the last part of 'Turnabout Storm', I already had it in my watchlist since... January? And I still haven't watched it.
I was contemplating to watch all the other parts of Turnabout Storm yet again before I watch the last one... there is a problem:
1st part >prolouge= 33 minutes
2nd part >court session n1= 71 minutes
3rd part >Twilight = 96 minutes
3rd part >Pheonix = 101 minutes
4th part >court session n2 = 78 minutes
aaand
5th part >final court session and epilouge = 120 minutes
....
....
Add that all together and you get like 499 minutes of video meterial, which equals around 8 hours and 30 minutes.
Which means if I start watching at 6 pm... I would sit there and watch until 2:30 am in the morning.
ANOTHER SATURDAY WELL SPEND EEY? :/
What a tweest!
4564919
The written version was made by an author who asked the creator of the original videos, if he could write it down as a fanfic story.
He got permission to make it, so he did.
4565903
4565786
I bring ponies together
Okay after rereading this, you changed the ending, why? and will you be bringing in Lea? Lea, not Axel, he'd most likely be an earth pony.
4598793
A bit more...personal reasons.
Can you tell me where I can find "Lucky-Jacky" ? Is it a fimfiction user name or DA perhaps? I wanted to find a high resolution image of the cover art.
4669429
It's a deviant name