Chapter 9 - Enter Blueblood the Non-Menace
DISCLAIMER - No matter what you may read in the following text, there will be zero chance of shipping Twilight with Blueblood. That is all, you may now continue.
Cadance cheerfully strode into a room, opening the door wide without a care for the occupant inside. On the bed, a small colt lay on his belly, jumping at the loud entrance that was made. "Good morning, Bluey! I was told you're nice and well again, so guess what?"
Blueblood merely groaned, already annoyed at his sister's antics. "Cadance," he whined, drawing out her name, "why are you coming in here so early? Lemme get more sleep!"
Laughing, Cadance merely walked to the side of his bed, poking him with a hoof. "No can do, brother. You've been laid up in bed for the last week, and I've really got someone for you to meet." she removed his covers with magic, causing him to groan and get up to his hooves. "Now, up and at em!"
Groaning, Blueblood complied with his sister, hopping off the bed and making his way to the mirror in the room. Looking himself over, he found his appearance satisfactory, even though he was only six his philosophy was that there was no such thing as 'looking too good.' It simply did not exist to his young mind. "So, who is it that you want me to meet?"
Cadance smiled, her grin nearly stretching across her entire face. "Why, none other than a young filly that I've told you about already. Twilight Sparkle." she slowed her pace so that he could keep up. "I think it'll do good for both of you to become friends, Blue." Cadance spoke much more quietly this time, as if a heavy thought weighed on her mind. This did not go unnoticed by him; Blueblood was considered rather observant for a colt his age.
"Is this because both of our parents are dead, Cady?" she nodded in reply, which caused him to think. "So... you think it'd be good for both of us since neither of us have our parents anymore? Or," he fixed a glare at her, "are you trying some of your icky magic on me?"
Cadance look confused for a moment, before nearly breaking down in laughter right there in the hall. Blueblood stopped in his tracks, looking at her as if she were crazy. "Oh, Blue," she coughed out between laughs, "first off, you're too young for me to even try my icky magic on you. Secondly, you're too young." Cadance finally gathered herself, setting off at a slow pace once more. "Really, I just know that she needs a friend her own age. It's been really hard for her... Celestia had the funeral almost a week ago, and she's still very down over that. I can't do too much to help her though, I'm just 'too old' as one might say."
Blueblood followed Cadance into a small dining room for breakfast. "I see... I'll go ahead and do so, besides it sounds like she's nice from what you've said, Sister." he received a smile from Cadance in return as they took their seats at the breakfast table.
No more than a minute later, Celestia joined them at the table, wishing them both a good morning with a small smile gracing her face. The customary greetings were exchanged, and Celestia perked her head up at the end. "Ah, here we are... Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, good morning." she pointed a hoof towards Blueblood, who was in the middle of lathering a bagel with cream cheese, "this is my nephew, Blueblood." Celestia then turned to address the young colt, "Blueblood, these are Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle. They will be staying at the castle with us from now on."
Shining and Twilight hesitantly walked over to the table, taking seats to either side of Cadance. He took his seat first, forcing Twilight to sit next to the strange colt. He merely smiled as she took a seat, offering a bagel to her.
"Hi, I'm Blueblood. Cadance has told me a bit about you." he politely spoke as she accepted the bagel. "So, having a good morning?" He ignored the fact that it looked like somepony had hastily scrubbed at her cheeks in an attempt to remove the tear stains, for some reason he didn't like seeing such a thing. Add to that the cast on her horn, and Twilight looked amazingly haggard.
"Uh..." Twilight hesitantly began, awkwardly nibbling on her bagel as she thought about what to say. "I suppose so?" she asked, not used to being put into a situation of talking to a pony her age. Twilight turned her attention to the food in front of her, using it to buy yet more time.
Blueblood took it all in stride, for he understood her position to a degree. He too had limited contact with others his age, and instead turned his time towards voraciously reading and trying to bribe the guards to teach him how to use a rapier even though he was still much too small to do so.
As they all ate breakfast together, Celestia mulled over her thoughts. She had begun her efforts to reconnect on a personal level with ponies once more, just as she had promised her deceased lover after the funeral last week. She noticed another awkward exchange between Blueblood and Twilight, and then looked on at Cadance and Shining. Maybe Twilight will... nah, that's just silly. Still, Blueblood will hopefully find a good friend in her, and both of them will be better off for it. I know that she tries hiding it, but I can see just how much she's still hurting. Celestia inwardly thought of Stable once more, thankful for the help the doctor had provided.
Shining sat at the table, slowly eating breakfast while exchanging soft words with Cadance. He was trying his best to look out for Twilight while keeping time for Cadance and him to do things couples did. With school just a little over a month away, he really wanted to make it count. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at Twilight, the pain within his little sister was still all too evident to him, even with her attempt to show him that she was fine. His gaze looked over to Blueblood, who exchanged words with her every so often. It'll be good for her to have a friend her age, and hopefully she can make more in school... Celestia help Cadance's brother though if he gets any ideas about her!
Cadance leaned against Shining Armor during breakfast, doing her utmost to milk the last month of living in close proximity. She had no doubts that he would do wonderfully in the guard training, but once he left it would be a long time before he was done. Still, Cadance was more than capable to understand why he was doing it, and she wholeheartedly agreed with the reasoning. She glanced at Celestia, still puzzled over the recent changes in her aunt. Ever since Twilight, really, she's been acting a little... odd. Trying to strike up conversation, no matter how odd it might be, attempting to reach out... It's almost as if she's attempting to make up for something. Gotta say, though, I do like her attempts, she seems... happier?
Blueblood mulled over his cup of tea, slowly sipping at it as he looked at the eggs on his plate. From time to time he looked over to Twilight, and couldn't help but cringe every time the cast entered his sight. That, plus the cuts he could see underneath her coat made him wonder what exactly she had been through, and made him wonder even more why Aunt Celestia had decided to make them Wards of the Crown. From what he recalled reading, it was not adoption, like Cadance and he were, but it was only a half-step below it. I suppose she could be a good friend. Cadance mentioned that she reads a lot, especially when it comes to magic. It would be nice to have a study-buddy, too. But, if Sister tries her magic on me... uugh, no thanks!
Twilight sat in silence, speaking only when that new colt Blueblood tried talking to her. Cadance had mentioned that he was her brother, and a bit spoiled but meant well. It meant a lot to her that Twilight get along with him, but she had no idea what exactly that meant. As she glanced towards her brother, she saw him chatting with Cadance, like always. I still miss them so much... I really don't want to spend time with anypony, my books are more than enough company... plus there's no way that they'll leave me, no matter what. Oh, what do I say to him? Blueblood keeps trying to talk to me...
Breakfast ended with Celestia rising, a smile on her face. "Everypony, please have a good day. Sadly, I need to get ready for Day Court now. Take care." With a wave of a hoof, she turned and left the room, leaving the four to their own devices.
"So," Cadance began, her eyes darting between Twilight and Blueblood, "I'd really like for the four of us to go on a walk in the gardens, what do you think?" Shining walked up to her side, a smile on his face.
"That sounds like a good idea." he said, turning to Blueblood. "I'm Shining Armor, anything in particular you like to go by?"
"Well, Cadance likes to call me Blue, but Blueblood is just fine." he scrunched his nose as he brought up Cadance's words and turned to her. "Sister, really? A walk? It's so boring!" Blueblood whined, eliciting a laugh from her and, surprisingly, Twilight. "Oh?" he asked politely, rounding on Twilight, "What do you think of a walk, Twilight?"
"It's... nice. Mommy and Daddy used to take us on them all the time..." she trailed off, tears beginning to well in her eyes as thoughts of them entered her mind. She felt shocked when he hugged her, both of his hooves around her neck.
"It's okay... at least you got to spend time with them, that's important. Even if they're gone now, you can still remember those times together." he softly spoke, surprising Cadance and Shining. "I think a walk sounds like a good idea right now."
The four left the dining room, slowly making their way to the private gardens for a morning stroll. Shining quietly spoke in Cadance's ear before moving alongside Blueblood, insisting Twilight take his place.
"Hey, Blue," he began, leaning down slightly and keeping his words soft. "Really good job, I appreciate you making Twilight feel better. Cadance has told me a lot about you, and I'm really glad that it looks like you and Twily can be good friends. She's been so down ever since our parents passed, and sadly I can't be there all the time." he looked up to see Twilight excitedly talking with Cadance, completely ignorant of the talk going on just a few paces behind them.
"Cadance has been talking about her all week while I was sick. To be honest, she wouldn't shut up about it and was quite annoying." Blueblood whined to Shining, causing the older stallion to lightly laugh. "She did say that Twilight was into a few of the same things I was though, and she seems nice enough, if quiet."
"Good, just..." Shining trailed off, a look entering into his eyes, "don't get any funny ideas about my sister, okay?"
Blueblood looked at him in confusion for a few moments before screwing up his eyes and wrinkling his nose. "Eww, first Cadance then you? No way, I don't know why you think just because you're... dating my sister I might be interested in yours, that's just icky..." Shining couldn't help but laugh at his words, relief entering him. "I'll try and be friends with her though, I'm really looking forward to someone as interested in magic as I am."
Shining laughed again, finding the similarities between Twilight and Blueblood humorous. "Yes, that she is. When she gets into a book on magical theory, you can't peel her away from it. If it wasn't for her horn," Shining's expression dropped for a moment, "she'd probably be trying to cast spells. I'm just thankful that it should be healed in time for her to apply for Celestia's school. She's wants to go there so badly."
"Hey, you two, c'mon!" Twilight called out, facing them as she trotted backwards. Without realizing it, they were at the entrance to the gardens, and had fallen quite a ways behind.
"Hold your hooves, Twily, we're right behind you!" Shining laughed, quickly increasing his speed as he scooped Twilight up in his front hooves, setting her down on his back moments later. She immediately scrambled down, sticking her tongue out at Shining.
Their walk took them through a nearly endless amount of flowers; it seemed that every species alive and then some was planted within this garden. Everypony's spirits were exceptionally high, even Twilight's. Cadance and Shining leaned into each other with one of their forehooves wrapped together as they walked behind Blueblood and Twilight.
"This one here is the Night Lily." Blueblood was busy pointing flowers out to Twilight and telling her what little he knew about them. "Aunt Celestia says it's really special to her, although she never really did say why. Supposedly on a full moon, and in bloom, they glow a deep blue hue."
"That's cool!" Twilight exclaimed, moving forward to look at it closely. "Luminescence is an interesting phenomenon, I read something about it being caused by magic and, uh..." she scrunched her brows in thought, "magic." she lamely finished, looking ashamed.
Blueblood looked at her for a moment before laughing, not at her but with her. "Magic and magic! Who knows, that could be why. I haven't read about those yet, I just ask the gardener a lot of questions when I'm out here. Apparently my mom had planned the layout of it, so..." he looked pensive for a moment as Twilight looked at him with concern. "It's okay, Twilight. I never really knew her, she apparently died when I was born. Still, if this," he swept his hoof towards some of the flowers, "was her idea, she must've been pretty good, right?"
Twilight violently nodded her head in agreement, stopping as her vision began to blur. "Uh huh. I have a few things to remember my parents by," she hesitated, continuing after a reassuring smile from Blueblood. "Like, all my books are from them, and I read a lot, so... I always see them while reading, kinda. I still miss them alot, though." Twilight managed to keep from crying this time, proud of herself for doing so.
The two of them went quiet as Shining and Cadance continued to watch and listen in, glad that everypony seemed to be getting along so well. They continued through the garden at a slow pace, taking the time to stop and smell a random flower, as the majority of the garden was in bloom.
It seemed like all too soon their walk was finished, the last of the blooming flowers left behind them as they made their way inside. It was late morning now, lunch still a few hours away. Opening the door, they walked into a small study, its walls lined with books. Cadance and Shining made their way to a small sofa, laying on it next to each other, as Twilight immediately took off for the books.
“Oh, wow! There’s a lot of books here, and so many on magic!” she exclaimed, running her hooves over the spines of as many as she could. Blueblood walked over to a shelf and pulled out a book, bringing it over to the table. He motioned Twilight to come over, and she took a seat next to him.
“I think this one might be a good read, if you’re interested.” he pointed to the title, Bioluminescence in Plants and Animals. Nodding her head, they settled down and slowly began flipping through the pages.
Cadance looked to Shining, beaming widely at him. “It looks like they’ll get along just fine.”
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I think you did pretty well on Blueblood, right now I'm seeing him become Twi's best bud.
why is blueblood not a jerk already or is he not one in this story or will he be one later on
Blueblood being a more complex character then "A dick", let alone actually being likable? I almost wish I could favorite your story again just for that.
3190215
Thanks. Sadly, I will be souring him in time for the Gala events the show shows, but he and Twilight will be good friends for the story, probably even after the Gala bit. After all, one stallion can only stand so much gold-digging. Got tired of his cliched douche-mode, so tried something radically different.
3190254
See above reply as to why.
3190263
lol, thanks. : )
Huh... Personally I wouldn't mind pairing Twilight and Blueblood, even if for a short period of time (like some small dates during their teens, or something like that), but only if Blue won't be the same pony that we all know and hate, personality-wise. Hopefully, being friends with Twilight will prevent him from becoming a pompous jackass, he's known as.
Nice to see you didn't make Blueblood a dick.
Quite refreshing, really.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3190270
Understandable, when one deals with jerks, or in his case mares that just want the title you would become very defensive and not want to deal with them. Twilight, Cadence, and Celestia must the the only mares to really know the true Blueblood
Friendshipping woohoo
3190270 ok thx for the info and really great story
... Nice!
I see a few little slip-ups you should probably fix:
Haha! The magic has been doubled!
Blueblood is Cadence's sister?
Despite what so many shipfics are written like being raised like siblings means people end up have no romantic interest in one another. Others letting the idea of them as a couple doesn't seem to far fetched though, at this point. But as shown Bludeblood is still at the strange where girls are "icky", by the time he starts to notice mares Twilight will be like a sister to him. Having Twilight around will make Blueblood less of a douche when he grows up though, I expect he would treat Rarity differently if she was a friend of his "sister"
If this continues, it could develop where Blueblood acts like a jerk consciously to avoid girls at parties for fun and/or because they are "icky". From there, it can become a game that he continued. This is how most pro-Blueblood fics redeem his character, and it can easily be applied here.
3190270
This. It makes me laugh when people treat Rarity as being some victim of a horrible monster, when she probably brought that on herself with her behavior at the Gala. I mean cmon, Blueblood is probably what? The single most eligible bachelor in all of Equestria? And the third most noteworthy unmarried member of the Royal Family overall, after Celestia and Luna themselves? It'd be a miracle if Rarity was even remotely the first mare to try to make herself "Mrs. Blueblood".
3190277
It always pisses me off when Authors write Blueblood as some "Worst then A dozen Hitlers", irredeemable dick. A little bit of dick is fine and dandy, heck, even a whole lot of dickishness if its done in parody, but it just pisses me off when him being an asshole is done straight, even more so when they go out of their way to let Rarity get her "Revenge." (The Great Alicorn Hunt, I am so looking in your direction right now.)
... DAMMIT! *Sighs and then proceeds to read the chapter, making sure the idea is completely and utterly thoroughly squashed*
Wait... Is it because the story won't be going into when she's an adult, and would thus be a little creepy to have shipping for foals? Sorry, actually reading now.
Reason accepted. Reading on.
*Finishes reading*
... Yeah, right decision. If it gets to the point where they're adults, then it'll be slightly annoying/frustrating/disappointing, but then again, at that point, if Blueblood wasn't interested in her, I can TOTALLY see him being like a second big brother figure, like the one who isn't SUPER protective of her, but would definitely have to approve of her choice for her to be happy. (If that makes any sense.)
ANYWHO, pretty good chapter. Looking forward to seeing how you interpret the characters as they begin to develop.
Despite the disclaimer, I will hold out a flame that there will be TwiBlood... Hmmm, that sounds bad, actually... Errrr... BlueLight! Bring on the slowly unfolding ship!
Blueblood portrayed as not a complete dick? And it's actually believable! What is this fuckery i'm reading, and why do i like it so much?
I kid, i kid, space. It's actually good to see Bluey portrayed as someone who does have feelings and thoughts, instead of just a scapegoat or punching bag. Far too many times do i see him portrayed as one (or both!) and nobody bats an eyelash at it or even encourage it.
Think of it this way, there must've been a reason for him to be a dick like that to Rarity, and it can be explained! I've seen his actions explained as shooing off a gold-digger like he thought Rarity was. And to be fair, she acted like one in that episode.
Edit-
3190505
I'm still for Pink(ie)Blood... or BluePie. Eh. Whatever you wanna call it. That'd be far more entertaining to read, at least in my mind.
3190505
So you're in favor of a K-Mart ship? "Attention, Blue Light Special!"
I dunno. I'd think that being as young as they are, the Westermarck Effect would take hold, and despite their blood siblings being 'together', Blueblood and Twilight would end up seeing each other as like a sibling.
3189340
Might try to address this via a chapter specifically for a in-the-mind-of each character. I'll have to reread each chapter first to see where they're at, and then if it's needed, or if I can wrap it in with the story. Thanks for the critique though, love it when folks take the time to be brutally honest.
3190273
I may mess around with the childhood bit, friends testing things out and whatnot, but I really don't have a large interest in romance in this story, and I've always hated Blueblood... so I'm already out on a limb here, lol!
3190359
Thanks much, both errors found and fixed
3190362
Time will tell, all I can say on that matter. I've said it repeatedly though, that I do plan on keeping things pretty close to canon.
3190371
I've got some justifications in mind for him in the future, think I've settled on how to go about it now though.
3190407
Yup, it's going to start early for the poor colt, too.
"Oh, you're a Prince? Oh my!"
3190453>>3190505
Although I'm showing him as being very attentive to Twilight/her needs in this chapter, Cadance has essentially been a mother as well as a sister to him, so has influenced his character a fair amount. He also understands the loss of parents, if not as much, he still knows it, so he can relate there. I really don't foresee any plans beyond basically developing a sibling bond between these two. I might have them mess around with basic, basic stuff, but... My personal bias tends to lean towards punting him off the tallest tower in Canterlot to begin with. Breaking new ground here. : )
3190511
As always man, thanks for the words. To use Pink Floyd... I felt like I was on Thin Ice while writing this, it was different and interesting.
3190549
You misread the disclaimer. : )
I'm keeping them siblings, like, 99% chance of that.
3190668
Thanks, fixed that one, too.
3190683
The breakfast where it switched perspectives a lot was a little too close together format-wise (though it could have been my phone) and the first person read like an uninterrupted part of the narration rather than the individual's thoughts. I would suggest using italics for differentiating the thoughts and spacing out when the paragraphs switch POV to make it easier to read.
Other than that, I really enjoyed this chapter; like many others, I find your fresh take on BB interesting yet I like it even more because you'll still have him grow up into his canon personality, for the most part.
Would have forced you into a round of fisticuffs if that were to occure
XD I'll hold you to that, boss. XD *noogie!*
Nice job with Blueblood, I love seeing stories that do something a little more interesting with him than the standard approach.
Mind if I stick this in a Blueblood group or two?
3191174
Go for it. I'm not in any of them myself, and not in many period, but it's more than welcome to be in them.
3162731
R.I.P. Carl Sagan
I quite liked that.
I just might read the rest.
Good
Anyway, this chapter was quite enjoyable
No Bluelight shipping?
Not a Problem!
You can always go for one of these, after all!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/9/9/423249.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/7/35786.png
Look, he's so happy to see Rainbow he cried his Cutie Mark right off^^
And no matter how sour he's become in the meantime, nopony can resist the awesome power of Fluttershy's winghug. Nopony.
Blueblood, you sadist!
Shining Armor is really perverted. Who thinks about very young children that way? Other than pedophiles?
3191927
Blueblood is only one year older than Twilight. So, it's a perfectly fine big brother thing to do, if a bit early on.
About time.
Understand me, I'm enjoying this story a great deal, but it was beginning to feel like you were going to handle the relationship of Twilight and Celestia through the eyes of the other characters as opposed to individual interactions between the two.
---
As for Blueblood: I despise him utterly and the only thing I would ask is if you are even going to try to reconcile the halfway decent portrayal that you have here with what we see in The Best Night Ever?
3192008
Yeah, I understand both yours, and others who might be waiting for this to happen. Sadly, the way I went into it meant either (A) A lot of exposition leading in (which is what I did) or (B) get to it, then spend a LOT of time trying to build up the characters.
And oh, I loathe Blueblood myself. I'll make sure people understand the reasoning behind his Gala night with Rarity, and I will tweak things a bit, but ultimately it'll be close to canon as possible.
So, enough has been said about Blueblood not being a dick (yay) that I will just settle for this:
This makes for a hilarious visual.
3192122 I believe the ship name is commonly called BlueLight
3194378 ....There's a group on fimfiction called BlueLight for Twilight X Blueblood shipping.
Bluey and Twi are supposed to be about 6, aren't they? Personally, I think you're writing them as a bit too old. I can't recall the CMC talking the way Blueblood or Twi did, though there's of course a difference in education and/or background. Still, I'd think Blueblood might be a little bit too serious for his age. *Shrug* Ah well. I'll keep reading, anyways.
Have to agree with 3189340 actually. Throughout this fic, I've had a little niggling problem that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but seeing his comment and actually looking back on it, a lot of the problems I've had with this fic stem from wooden characters.
I like the concept, and the writing is good for the most part, but it's the characters that prevent me from really getting into the story.
Thought-speech is fine I suppose, but I think it would be better if you had a chapter that showed some proper, believable interactions between the characters involved. I like the interpretation of Blueblood. Some more expansion upon him and the rather neglected Twilight Sparkle would be sweet. (and also BlueLight friendshipping cough)
That's my opinion so far. Take from it what you will.
3194389 3192122 Or we could get really creepy with it and call it Blood Sparkle?
3203453
lolbrary.com/content/945/hahaha-no-22945.jpg
If there was a chance, I would have flipped a bitch.
"a lot"
Is there an "official" ship-abbreviation for Twilight and Blueblood?
TwibloodBluelight?
I can dig it.
I love the scene where Twilight explains that she sees her parents in the books she reads. That was a tear-jerker. Keep it up, you're doing great.
OK I have read everything up to this point and although I liked it, I expected something else.
Reading the description, I thought that this would be more on the Drama side. I have stored a pack of tissues near my tablet, expecting the worst, but sadly I didn't need them. I thought that there would be a incident that brings Twi in Celestias charge and that both slowly begin to mend each others hearts when Celestia becomes Twi's foster mother. I thought that the focus would be on Celestia's distance and Twi's loss and the relationship which is going to change all that, but until chapter 9 at least, there is very little of their relationship displayed.
Right now Shining and Cadence take over the part of the foster mother which should fall to Celestia imo. The presence of both Cadence and Shining interferes with the relationship of Celestia and Twi, which I thought would be the main plotline. Maybe it would have been better if Shining were already in the Academy and needs some time to come back so that in the meantime Celestia is the one who take care of Twi. As it is now I'd suggest to quickly send Shining and Blueblood away and keep Cadence occupied by something so that Celestia is forced to take care of the now very lonely Twi. The introduction of Blueblood however makes the display of solitude more complicated since now she has another friend to keep her company. Honestly I do not know how you will bring back Celestia into play, since you missed some opportunities in my opinion.
I also think you didn't describe the death of her parents dramatic enough nor her dire situation. In my eyes Twi accept their death too easily and it feels like the necessary tragedy gets pushed aside by the fact that she becomes a ward of her idol. I have two nieces of 6 and 4 and if I'd tell them that both their parents had died, I don't think they would take it as lightly as Twi did. To be more specific, you "said" that she is sad, but it didn't "show" to me. You wrote about streaks of tears and so on which I guess indicates her grief, but overall I can't feel her sadness.
In my opinion everyone acts way too cheerful.
Or maybe it is my own fault, because I just misinterpreted the summary and made up my own story in my head but now I am disappointed because it doesn't quite fit. However I may suggest that you focus more on showing instead of just telling the reader. I know that is hard to pull off, but those who master it can put so much more emotions into their story. Please note, that I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. Everything I wrote is meant as constructive criticism and is based off my opinions, so others don't have to agree with me.
3304144
Actually, that's all pretty damn valid. I kept a lot of Twilight's grief offscreen too, and I am a on the tell-y side in my writing by a fair degree. One could say I heavily lean that way.
As for the rest, I didn't come in with an outline or anything, and I've gotten wrapped up in introducing and fleshing out other characters that are shown to have an impact on Twi's life and a few others. Afterall, Celestia (in the show) doesn't have a direct impact until the Entrance Exam, right? Yeah, that's next chapter. And that's also when Shining is gone, Cadance is somewhat occupied (to a degree) and Blueblood, well... trying to keep him nice and all so he'll still come up and whatnot... but Celestia takes the front seat. One could claim that everything I've written is still 'prologue' material.
I'll be getting to Celestia and Twilight's budding relationship next chapter, and hopefully I don't bungle it. However, we'll see both a resurgence of her parent's death, Celestia's awkwardness, and the start of their relationship.
Very valid critique, thanks for taking the time to write it out.
Also, my personal bias keeps me from delving too heavily into the drama area. It's an area of lit that I cannot stand most times... heh.
Finally found a stamp you would approve of Space. I think this story really needs it.
i.imgur.com/8v6bT9i.png
Thank God....thank you thank you thank you! (had to put that in there)
And I would like to see a less jerky Blueblood, since a lot of the fandom seem to be just peachy with him being an ass.