Chapter 8 - Such a Lonely Day
There exists within Equestria other planes that run parallel to it, some accessible, some not. An afternoon sun shone its radiance down upon one such plane, a serene plane of undisturbed grass marred only by the tombstones littering its surface. Here and there a pony, or a group of them, mulled about quietly, paying their respects to the recently, and long since, dearly departed.
It was here that Celestia led a small group to, stepping through a guarded door near the entrance of the castle to gain entry. The cloudless sky greeted them, and, although one might look directly at the sun, it was no more harsher than looking at a candle’s flame.
“What…” Shining began, looking around in awe at the picturesque yet somber environment. “What is this place?”
Celestia quietly spoke from the front, answering his question, and so much more. “These are the Fields of Elysium, the final resting place of those who have given their lives to Equestria.” she looked at the ponies behind her, ensuring everypony had followed her through. “My… friend and I found this place long ago and discovered it has many magical properties. Here, it remains sunny all day and all year, yet even without rain the grass remains lush and vibrant, always thriving.”
Twilight looked around in quiet observation, giving Celestia’s words only part of her attention. Standing next to her, Cadance quietly began speaking. “Magical, yes, but…” her head lowered, “such a sad place.”
“...I can understand why.” Shining simply stated, noticing a small group of ponies gathered around a wooden casket that was slowly being lowered into the ground.
“Please, follow me,” Celestia quietly spoke, not wanting to disturb the other occupants of this bright and somber place. Anywhere else, and everypony would pause and bow before her, but here… here in these hallowed grounds Celestia was simply another pony, there to pay her respects. Cadance looked to Twilight as she lowered a wing, giving her a chance to scramble up. Making sure that she was firmly on her back, Cadance followed Celestia alongside Shining.
The small group slowly made their way, trusting in Celestia to lead them to their destination. As they walked in a straight line, the world around them seemed to bend in random directions. Shining leaned over to Cadance and whispered quietly. “I’m not losing it, am I? It looks like we’re not really going in a line, but we haven’t moved much left or right…”
Cadance gently smiled, shaking her head gently. “No, it’s part of this place. So long as you have a destination in mind, it just… moves you there. Otherwise, you can just meander around if you want.” she carefully nuzzled his neck, careful of the filly on her back who had yet to say a word.
Moments later Celestia stopped, coming to a halt in front of two caskets resting in front of freshly dug graves, blank tombstones resting . “We’re here.” Two words, spoken so quietly, yet making the air oh-so heavy, especially to Shining and Twilight.
Cadance carefully set Twilight on the ground, who simply stood there, looking at the coffins with dread. She lifted a hoof, ready to move forward but hesitated, hoof in the air. Shining walked forward, pausing at his sister’s side and gently kissing her underneath her horn. “I’m right here for you, Twily.” he quietly whispered into her ear. “Let’s go say bye to mom and dad, okay?”
Slowly, with Shining’s help, Twilight mustered up the courage to put one hoof in front of the other, the large wooden caskets looking closer. Celestia broke the silence, causing Twilight to jump in alarm and dart back a few steps. “Take all the time you need. Just let me know when you’re ready.” Shining looked over just long enough to reply to Celestia with a nod before turning his focus back to Twilight.
Again, step by step she came closer to them, unable to see over their height. Finally stopping between them, Shining carefully set her on his back, the two of them peering at the serene faces of their parents. The wood had been enchanted to be transparent, allowing a last look at them without disturbing the coffins.
“They look just like that one time I walked into their room early one morning…” Shining muttered. It seems like just yesterday they were seeing me off to camp... He felt a gentle nudge at his side as he began to cry. He felt Twilight shuffling around, a quiet sobbing coming from her throat as he felt a damp patch beginning to form on his back.
Looking to the side, he saw Cadance next to him gently nuzzling Twilight, her warmth at his side. When she pulled back, he smiled in thanks, their lips moving together to meet in a chaste kiss.
The three ponies quietly remained in each other’s company, each one grieving and offering support in their own fashion. Shining noticed that Twilight’s hushed sobs were starting to die down and looked back. Looking past his tear-matted fur and her streaked face, Shining couldn’t help but smile at the now exhausted Twilight.
“I think it’s time now.” he said quietly to Cadance, who went to get Celestia. Within moments, she was standing between the graves, a serious look on her face. Cadance came back to his side, and Celestia began speaking, causing Twilight to slightly stir on his back.
“We are here today to say our last goodbyes,” Celestia began, her voice filled with authority, warmth and passion all bundled in one. “Night Light and Twilight Velvet both gave to Equestria, performing duties that helped ensure the safety of her citizens. It’s always tragic when one is taken before their time, and sadly, both fell to such circumstances while seeing to the safety of everypony else.
“As such, they have more than earned their right to eternal rest here, in the hallowed Elysium Fields, the resting place of those who dedicate themselves to Equestria. As we say our last goodbyes, let us not dwell on their passing but instead look to those memories that make them who they are.” Both caskets lit with a golden glow, slowly rising into the air. Celestia smoothly moved them to rest in the air over the graves, a solemn look on her face.
“Now we lay them to rest, to be forever immortalized within our memories. May they always live on inside us, and may they never be forgotten.” Celestia gently lowered both caskets into the ground, not even making a sound as they touched down on solid ground.
“Anytime you wish to come and visit, all you need do is think of them, and Elysium will guide you.” Another glow of magic, and the dirt filled in, grass nearly instantly covering the freshly moved earth within seconds. Turning, Celestia looked to the two blank tombstones, performing one final act of magic.
Twilight Velvet
950 - 987 AC
Caring Mother
Night Light
947 - 987 AC
Loving Father
Celestia sighed, stepping back and walking to their side. “Thank you…” Shining muttered quietly, his eyes once more riddles with tears, Cadance still at his side offering her support.
“You are most welcome.” she turned to Cadance, addressing her. “I trust you can see them out, when ready? I have things that need seeing to.”
“I can do that, Aunt.” Cadance quietly replied, nodding her head as well. She watched as Celestia walked off, there one moment, gone the next thanks to the magic of Elysium. Turning, she saw Shining staring at the two grave markers, and Twilight on his back curled up, asleep.
Cadance walked back to Shining’s side. His ears tracked her movement, eyes still stuck ahead. “I’m going to miss them, Cady. They were the ones who encouraged me to join the guard, you know? I didn’t know what I wanted to do once I got my cutie mark. There’s a lot of things you can do with shields, you know? They took me around, showing me all sorts of things.” she quietly listened, hugging him around the neck as he continued.
“They took me to see our uncle, one day. That’s when I knew I wanted to be a guard. We were walking with him on one of his patrols, and came across a house fire. Without a second thought, he jumped in and ended up rescuing two foals and their mom. I wanted to be able to protect ponies like he did… maybe I could keep somepony’s parents safe, one day…”
Celestia walked away, willing herself to a place she hadn’t visited in a long time. Whisked away, she found herself in a location that probably hadn’t seen a visitor in five hundred years. She brushed her hoof over the tombstone, tracing the words adorning it. “Moonbright. It’s been a long time.”
She sat down next to the grave, a sad smile on her face. “Where do I even begin? So much has happened in the time since our last talk. Even what you warned me about ended up coming to pass.” Celestia let out a sad, quiet chuckle. “You really were good at understanding my plight, even without being able to ‘walk in my hooves,’ as you always loved to say.”
Minutes passed with her head lowered, not a word uttered from between her lips. The silence weighed heavily on her, allowing for a silent reflection; time to pick and choose what to say.
“Luna will be returning soon. I think, after I removed Nightmare Moon from the history books in the hopes it wouldn’t stand in the way when she returned, you were one of only three or four ponies I ever talked to her about. I can feel the Elements, too. It’s as if they’re… waiting, biding their time for their bearers to come and claim them. And now, this young filly, Twilight Sparkle…
“I think you’d like her. I’ve interacted little with her, but what I’ve seen reminds me of you. At least, she appears to have a love for books, and is very knowledgeable.” she chuckled, a stray thought passing through her mind. “She’ll probably get into just as much trouble, something tells me, given time.”
Celestia’s tone turned remorseful, a lingering sadness creeping into her voice. “But, just as you warned me all that time ago, I stopped seeing individual ponies. The first thoughts of her were how she had to be the Bearer of Magic, and how I should manipulate her into it. Subtly manipulating a young filly just to return my sister to me… I thought I’d never be so callous again.
“Even my ‘niece’ has probably seen more warmth from others than myself. I’m in no state to even take care of Luna, were the Elements to cleanse the Nightmare from her as hoped. I have a long way to go, it seems…”
Celestia laid down, head up to the sun and eyes closed, as tears dripped down her muzzle.
“Shining, I’d like for you to meet my parents.” Cadance quietly said, careful not to wake up Twilight who was sound asleep on Shining’s back. He looked at her with mild confusion.
“I thought your parents were–" Cadance cut him off nearly instantly, nodding her head.
"Yes, they are, Shining. Where do you think they're buried, though?" she held out a hoof, allowing him to interlock his with hers. "It's been a bit since I last visited, and since we're already here, it would be rude not to say hello."
As before, it took only a few moments of walking before arriving at the location of two graves, ornate markers adorning these. The two death dates were different, Shining noted, as they stopped a few feet away from them.
"I still remember my mom, even though it's been six years, now. She passed during Blue's birth, something about complications... I never understood what dad meant, but apparently it happens. Dad spent the next year trying to keep us both supported, working two jobs to help." Cadance sighed, leaning her head against Shining's neck.
"What... about your dad, Cady?" he quietly asked, uncertainty in his voice.
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through his fur. "He worked so hard, giving Blueblood and me whatever we needed. But, something happened, and he was hurt. Coupled with already being a bit weak from working himself to the bone, he just... never recovered. That was three years ago."
Shining thought for a few moments, something not connecting in his mind. "But... when did Princess Celestia take notice of you and your brother? Wouldn't she have stepped in and helped out earlier?"
Cadance shook her head. "No, she claimed something about not showing favoritism to any single subject when I asked her the exact same question. She took in Blue and me right after our father passed..." she paused, thinking, "as a matter of fact, it was very much the same service for our dad. Both of them worked for the government, so they also ended up here."
The two calmly sat there, both thinking on the past, and what the future may bring them. A rustle from Twilight on Shining's back drew his attention, and he turned to Cadance. "I think it's time to head back, get her in bed." he dexterously turned and kissed her forehead, quietly whispering to her. "I promise, I'll do everything I can to keep you safe, Twily... everything.
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Well... guess we will have to wait and see if you follow the standard and boring approach to Blueblood, or if you take the road less followed and actually give him some depth. Very well done chapter, Concordia be with them.
Heavy chapter. DAMN heavy chapter.
Well done.
3160668
I'm helping him. I'll keep him straight, haha.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3160695
And I think I am now more worried
3160701
Oh... BURN. Still, trust The Lurker.
I know what I'm doing. Most the time...
~Skeeter The Lurker
3160703
Guess I win this round Lurker.
I do trust your judgement, most of the time, so guess I will have to wait and see
now it's appropriate for this:
What I don't get is why you invented a whole diffrent plane for this scene. Seems like it could have just played in a normal graveyard. It just opens lots of questions. Like, how did everyone else get there? Why does it exist? Unless it's going to be a plot point later one, that's just a bad idea. And if it is, then I'd like some elaboration on the whole thing.
Cheers
3160748 The Fields of Elysium are were all the souls of heroes who fell in battle or were courageous go when they die in Greek myth.
I am. Space, that was perfect. Absolutely stunning delivery there. All these sad chapters i'm reading today... Must be 'sad feels day' or something.
I eagerly await more of any of your stories, and i can't wait to see what you've got planned for Becoming One with the Night's sequel.
In trying to cheer myself up, i can't resist. See you later, spacecowboy.
I like the idea of a graveyard on a separate plane for all those passed in service of those that depended upon them. The description is quite fitting. I do wonder, however, how ponies get their. Is their just some kind of gate standing around in Canterlot that allows entrance? And, if so, why doesn't everypony know about it?
3160762
It's an afterlife, as in the heroes went to life there (kinda like Valhalla). This version doesn't have a lot of life in it, it's just a giant graveyard. Beyond the Death connection, they don't have much in common.
3160895 It more or less is the Greek version of Valhalla only more exclusive and you get taken there in a boat driven by a weird old guy in a cloak instead of half naked female worries with flying horses.
Hm. I personally wasn't bowled over by the funeral scene, but it was definitely somber enough for the job.
Nice work, as always. I liked this chapter.
3160668>>3160695
Don't worry, Paladin... Skeeter plays a minimal role and asks me questions I sometimes don't think about. It helps sometimes when I skip something so simple that it should be obvious. And, I do plan on giving Blue some depth, while also keeping the Gala events the same. It's going to be fun developing him and then twisting him to end up that bitter asshole. (much manly love to you, Skeeter. Mucho grando)
3160740
Yes. Yes it is. Tears have sprung forth
3160748>>3160762
Truthfully, there were a few reasons. Living where they are (on a mountain), it doesn't make for that good of a place to have cemeteries. Numerous reasons, really. Then, I also wanted to set a somber tone/mood. I've seen others use the Elysium Fields in their stories to good effect, and while I sort of twisted it to suit my purposes, it was sort of the same effect. A final resting place, etc, although not quite true to the Greek's concept of it. By having an eternal day, a perfect place, yet marred by the tombstones, and used for such a 'downer' purpose. Plus, it let me introduce some concepts of my own, such as the 'simply think about where you want to go, and you're there.' Kept the rest intentionally vague, too, as well as a reference to Luna.
3160775
Good to know, Ultra. This took me... 4-5 hours on and off today, looking, staring, writing, and a lot of erasing, before I finished it. I think I got hung up on Celestia's words the most, but the whole chapter was, honestly, HARD to write.
3160782
Assuming you're referring to the Fields of Elysium/Elysium Fields? Really, all I did was look at the Greek's version and recall what I've read with others using it and kinda winged it from there. That's the best part, you get to play with things.
3160858
I left that vague, again on purpose, at least for now. As stated, they arrived via a doorway in the castle, although I didn't specify if it was the only way to reach, nor how exactly the travel worked. It's something that'll probably get more elaboration later on, as to avoid info dumping.
3160962
Yeah, hit or miss, really. I got the tone down, though, which is part of it. It took me the better part of 7-8 hours on and off to get this chapter done, and I hate (emphasis on hate) writing or reading such sad things. So, it was a big pain to me. Still, I'm happy I went with it, as I'll probably be referencing this, and events in it, at some point in the future. Thanks for the words, as always.
3160981
... so give him depth and at least when he was young as a good dude... then became a jackass... ok now I'm less scared
3160993
Yeah, I don't want to give too much away, but I've already made this apparent, so it's not really a spoiler. He's basically going to be the spoiled brat kid who gets everything, then Twi and Shining happen. When Twi moves away, that's when his drift in character will come close to canon. And I'll eventually give reasons and such. But, going to have fun with his youth years.
3161011
Hm, would be nice to see a Blueblood who is not a total douchebag from the very beginning for a change.
This was a very touching chapter for me, so I'd say you did wonderfully with it... Great chapter once again!
Honestly? I liked the chapter . . . but.
This feels somewhat . . .short? more of an interlude than a chapter.
That said I do like what you've done, if you were after a feeling of sadness yet acceptance of the whole situation then I feel you've hit the nail on the head as it were.
I Like how you set Princess Celestia's scene up as well, a masterful representation of someone dong a bit of self soul-searching.
Overall Pegasus-Skip Pinkiesmile Rating -
/ 5
So sad
I think you did a pretty good job
3160981 It's kinda neat that Elysium is like an alternate dimension graveyard. ponies are too cheerful to want to have graveyards around all the time. so this makes sense.
very well done with the tone of this chapter
looking forward to blueballs actually being worth something at least for a while
3161109
Yup, that was my intention. Decided it when I went with making him Cadance's brother.
3161139
Thanks a lot. : )
3161270
It's somewhat the intention, these chapters are all short. With how different this one was for me to write, it might feel a little clipped, took a long time (comparatively speaking) to get done, and might've suffered a little bit. I'm bad at writing feels/sad content
3161476
I had other intentions, but yes, that's also another possibility. I think the part I loved the most about it is the potential of A) instantly going to where you want to be. B) In doing so, others can't disturb you. You're left to your own devices while there.
3161488
Thanks a lot. I hope to not disappoint.
3161601
It wasn't that you were bad at writing it feels/sad - far from it! You got the emotions just right in this.
It just felt like this should be in the middle of a larger chapter, that's all, sorry if I came across as saying it was written badly that is NOT what I meant.
3161643
Ah, thought you were implying the chapter itself felt short, not that it needed to be a part of something longer. As for my writing, I was stating it about myself, not that you were saying or implying anything, don't worry about that there.
Truthfully, every two chapters could possibly be combined together into one, larger chapter. However, I've been enjoying the ~2,000 per chapter bit with this story, so I've kept things a little short.
I liked this chapter I think the mood was well set and was great.
On a side note I hate Blue Blood AHhahhaha
s-so many feels!!!!!!!!!!
imagehaul.com/thehauls/21db25f3d622f835e978d909a82976b9.jpg
Who is Moonstone? Wouldn't it have been more poignant is that gravestone said "Moonbright," Celestia's last lover mentioned in chapter 2?
3163073
D-did I...
Fuck. Thanks for pointing that out, even with pulling up the chapter to double check the name I still fucked it up... ffffs.
Elysium fields could have other aspects not directly perceptible by living beings.
The living see one reality (aka a big graveyard) and the dead would see something entirely different...
I think you got the mood just about perfect. somber without being too heavily emotional.
3163283
Oooh, very nice thought/concept there. Might have to explore that, if I can swing it... hmm.
And thanks, cause somber was exactly what I was going for. Nothing like making a world of eternal sunshine gloomy, right?
3163928
A transition/phase/anything really used to connect two different things. That's a very crude definition, without me actually going and searching for an official one.
I think I now hate Moonbright.
Hmm, having my body "rest" forever in a flatgrass Minecraft world? I guess I could do worse for an afterlife, but it seems incredibly boring... I would prefer something along the lines of Sovngarde from Skyrim.
BTW I'm a Mormon so yeah I do believe in an afterlife, just talking about if I were to invent a fake one for a story :)
Elysium is a good idea.
A place where reality can't wrap it's cold, cruel claws around. Where memory and tranquility come together with mourning and pain. It isn't an entirely sad though. While the living pay their respects and wish to see their loved ones again, the passed spirits on the other side look on. They do their best to comfort them. Sometimes, when the wind is right, they say that Elysium lets those with strong bonds see each other for the last time...
Can I use this idea?
3171809 Thank you
3163117 LOL! Did you really accedently make a refference to Moonstone from .hack?^^
Yay for vague hints at Celestias past. I'd like to see more of it revealed in later chaps
You should really try to develop your characters, because they are for me not more than bad actors who read their lines. The difference between humans and robots is that we can express emotions, while they just mimic them. That's why I advise you to, when you're focused on one character, write his thoughts of an evenement and what reasoning he find. For example, you could take some time for developing Twilight's feelings and thoughts towards her loss of memories: she could be afraid of the black hole she now have in the middle of her memory, anxious, sad because of the brutal disappearance of her parents (you showed it) and, once the trauma of their death die down, destabilized (she is in a new environment, without a parental figure). The same way for shining armor, I found his reaction stereotyped and predictable! He is more than the big protecting brother, he's also a colt (plus in the middle of puberty) and he should have a more violent reaction toward the ones who hurt his little sister, (Cadance, who is a more level headed character, could calm him) then be stricken with remorse because he couldn't protect Twilight and have now to enter the royal guard! You certainly wanted to express this emotions, but because of the distance you put between the reader and the characters, your attempt was not successful (for me). Don't forgot to adapt the physical reaction of the character with his thoughts; words are powerfull tools, they can disturb the most hardened of mind.
For this chapter, we had a scene which was supposed to be extremely emotional. Meh. If you come across difficulties with sad scenes, just imagine what will be your reaction if one of your beloved die, what will you think of this loss? I assume you would be sad, and why? because you will never see him/her again, and he/she is now in a different world. Don't be afraid of putting yourself in the place of a character.
I hope I helped you, and that the most important relation of your story (twilight and Celestia) will really begin next chapter, I'm impatient.
Damn... That was just too much like an actual funeral.
Hmmm, I'm thinking at least one of the changed elements should be Shining having a lot more involvement in his sister's life, especially considering that last statement there. Nicely done :)
3189340
While I agree with almost everything you actually mention throughout the comment, the only thing I can dispute is the grave scene. I have been to a funeral and the reactions actually are pretty close to what I'd expect (outwardly at least, the emotions typically don't seem to be written), at least until Shining pulls it together as he did for Cadence. He'd more than likely show more grief in private true, but considering the position he's trying to take I could see him trying to keep it together *shrugs*
The only system of a down song I know is angels deserve to die... Bit of an odd so go but some stories that I've written, none mlp. And some not even fan fiction, seem to fit parts of it.
Anyway, I think you did right by this chapter. Sad, but with the right amount.
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/full.jpg
stay classy
I would have thrown in something about cadences dad not taking the help even if she offered it maybe saying he was a hard worker and wanted provide for them with his own four hooves.
Very good chapter =3
Is this "friend," Discord?