Manticores, Crushes, and Alcohol

by Hidden Brony

The Best Day Ever

“You are going to love me!” the normally timid Fluttershy shouted as animals—big and small—ran in terror away from her.

He had to say, this day just kept getting even more interesting.

Maybe we should start from the beginning. The most interesting day in Streak’s life—so far, at least—started with a letter. It wasn’t an odd letter, in fact it was the most normal looking letter he had received.

Early in the morning, Streak heard a knock at his and Change’s shared door. Since Change was either passed out or drunk, the blank drug himself out of bed. He stumbled, half asleep, to the door and fumbled with it for a second before it opened.

He was met with a blast of cheerful. “Good morning Streak!” Derpy said with too much cheer for the time of day it was. She had a pair of medium brown saddlebags with little letter-shaped clasps strapped on her back and a huge grin on her face. “I have some mail for you!”

Streak blinked twice slowly before saying, “Muh, morning Derpy. You’re awake this morning.”

“I’m awake every morning, silly!” she said, smiling. She reached into her saddlebags and grabbed a letter in her mouth. “Hrr yh go!”

Without thinking, Streak grabbed onto the letter with his own mouth, brushing her own in the process. He nodded at the mailmare when she dropped it, missing the huge blush that had formed on her face. “Hanksh Erpy,” he said as he walked back inside and closed the door.

He placed the letter on the table to see it addressed simply.

Streak

“How quaint,” he muttered to himself. With a bit of effort, he opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside. He disregarded the simple ticket inside, eyes tracing the lines of text, frowning as he went along.

Streak,

I know this won’t get me your forgiveness, so I’ll go right off the bat and tell you this isn’t what this is for. With that out of the way, let’s dive into the meat of this, shall we?

I acquired a job for you. No, it’s not with me, nor is it in the Everfree. What it is is the easiest job you can have in the guard. You will be guarding the Grand Galloping Gala. Now this event has been going on for years and nothing interesting has happened, so this is a great way for you to get to know your fellow guards while resting and recuperating from your injuries. I hope that you will attend, since they are expecting you there. The ticket is your train ticket to Canterlot. Wear your armor and head to the back entrance of the castle. If you don’t know where it is, ask the guards at the front gate.

If we want to be technical, you have to be a guard and have passed training for six months before you are allowed active duty in the castle. That being said, I kept you on record as a member of the guard for the nine months you were gone. Small blessings, am I right?

Go where they need you, when they need you. They aren’t like me. They don’t care about you as a pony, since they can’t take the time to get to know every single pony in the guard. If you meet Captain Shining Armor—you will know by the purple armor—be polite and courteous. Your actions reflect on all past, current, and future Ponyville guards.

Your friend, think it or not,
Shield.

Streak sighed. “Tell me the day of, why don’t ya?” he asked the air, not expecting a response. He walked into Change’s room to see the drunk swirling a bottle of what was probably vodka. “I’m heading out. Got a job up in Canterlot, so I’ll probably be back sometime late tomorrow.”

The drunk waved his hoof goodbye. “Bye bye! Have fun storming the castle!”

Change rolled his eyes and walked to the front of the house. He pulled open the door only to find Derpy still on the front porch in some kind of daze. “Uh, Derpy? You didn’t have more than one letter for me, did you?”

His voice seemed to snap her out of her daze. “Uh, no.”

“Then why are you on my porch again?” he asked. “I have no problem if you want to visit, but you have a job you need to finish first and I’m heading to Canterlot.”

She laughed nervously. “I guess I just got turned around and landed at the wrong house. He he, silly me!”

Streak smiled at her. “Happens to the best of us. I’ll see you when I get back, eh?”

“Sure, Streak,” she replied with a demure smile.

*~*~*

"Looking for the back door?" a guard asked, walking up from Streak's left. Streak turned his head slightly to look at him. He was a young colt—must have joined the guard the second he could—and had white fur and a blonde mane. Streak secretly wondered if the capital built enchantments into their suits of armor to make the guard look uniform.

"I grew up in Canterlot," Streak said. "Tried sneaking through the door once or thrice."

The other guard nodded. "I'm just going to follow you, then. I have no idea where to go."

After a few moments of silence, Streak spoke up. "You do this before?"

"Gala duty, or guard duty in general?" the other guard asked.

"Either," the blank said.

"No to both. I managed to get this as my first castle duty. My six months was last week," the younger guard said with a smile. "When was yours?"

"Six months, or first castle duty?" Streak asked for clarification.

"Why not both?" the young guard asked.

"This is my first castle duty," Streak said. "My six months was. . . three or so months ago."

The guard gave out a low whistle. "Who's bad side did you get on to spend three months after your six months before getting in the castle? I honestly want to know so that I can avoid them."

"A timberwolf," Streak replied frankly. "Spent nine months in a magically induced coma after getting half eaten alive." It took him a few steps before he noticed his companion had stopped in the middle of the road. He turned around to look at him directly. "You okay?"

"Am I okay?" the young guard asked. "Why are you asking me this? How long ago did you wake up?" There was a slight pause before he added, "And why is half your body a different color than the other half?"

"I woke up about a week ago," the older guard said. "As for the different colors thing, a pony sacrificed her life to heal me. That and this," he tapped his horn, "are the side effects of keeping me alive."

The young guard's jaw dropped again. "I don't even. . . ." He shook his head, continuing their walk. "Name's Bright."

"Streak," the such-named pony said. "Nice to meet you."

The other guard shook his head as they started walking up to the rear entrance. "Dude, you're my idol now. You survived being eaten by a timberwolf."

"That was much more luck than skill," Streak replied. "I did lose half my body in the process, I'll have you know, and I'm not too fond of animals right now, either."

"You won't have to worry about animals at the Gala," Bright said. "They keep to the gardens."

The duo walked up to a pair of bored-looking unicorn guards. "Name?" one drones.

"Bright," the such-named stallion said.

The guard pulled out a clipboard. After a few seconds, he found the stallion’s name. "You're in the main ballroom. If something goes wrong, which it won't, you're to exit the area and let experienced guards deal with the crowd. Keep ponies out of hallways they aren't supposed to be in in that case." He turned to Streak as Bright walked into the castle. "Name?"

"Streak," Streak replied.

The guard started searching his clipboard with no hurry. He had obviously done this job more than once. His partner gave Streak a look. "Never met a pony that looked odd as you," he said. "Dye job gone wrong?"

"Everfree," Streak corrected, frowning.

"Poison joke?" the guard asked.

"Timberwolf," Streak said.

"You're telling me that story sometime over some drinks," the guard said. "Name's Grasshopper. I’ll find you after the Gala. Drinks on me.”

The guard with the clipboard spoke up, “I don’t see you on here.”

Grasshopper interjected himself, “He’s a new addition. Shield sent me a notice about him.”

“We don’t do last second additions,” the so-far-unnamed guard said.

“We did for him,” Grasshopper said. “Just don’t worry about it, he’s accounted for.”

The moniker-less guard turned to Streak. “Welcome to Canterlot Castle. I’ll have my eyes on you.”

The other guard spoke up, “Don’t mind him none. All Cannon usually doe is bluster.”

“And when it isn’t bluster?” Streak asked.

“Hope he isn’t aimed at you,” the guard said. “Do try to have fun standing around with a blank face, will you? Just stick with Bright, and you’ll be fine.”

*~*~*

“You are going to love me!” the normally timid Fluttershy shouted as animals—big and small—ran in terror away from her.

"They usually keep to themselves," Bright corrected, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

“I’d say something went wrong,” Streak commented. He jerked his head to indicate the door they were standing by. “Time to get out of the way of the experienced ponies, eh?”

The indicated door swung open and Cannon walked up to the duo. “We’ll handle this. We’re pulling the seniormost guards from all over the castle, and you two drew the short straw. You’re guarding Princess Luna’s room.”

The duo of junior guards saluted their superior and started the trek to their assigned location. They only ran into guards and official-like ponies while on the way to the Princess’s room, and as such didn’t have to stop their momentum.

Streak wasn’t sure what he was expecting from the Lunar Diarch’s door—probably some large, ornate thing with a large moon in it and splattered with stars—but it was a simple wooden door slightly recessed into the wall. The only reason they knew it was Princess Luna’s room was because they got confirmation from a passing servant.

Streak settled into position on the right side of the door at Bright’s urging. Apparently the young guard’s right eye wasn’t as good as he would like it to be and he wanted to be on the left, where his good eye was more important. The duo stood perfectly still, knowing that at any point a superior could walk by, and if one did, they didn’t want to be caught slacking.

After a few minutes, clacking hoof-falls echoed down the hallway, indicating the presence of covers on the pony walking towards the guards. Within seconds, a young unicorn walked down the hallway. Her mane was a light blue, a direct contrast to her dark blue coat. She was wearing a scaled down copy of Princess Celestia’s regalia that was made of silver rather than gold.

She stopped within a few feet of Bright. “Who art thou?” she asked in an archaic tongue. “What ist thou doing outside Our door?”

“We’re your guards, your majesty,” Bright said. It was at that moment that Streak noticed the wings on her back.

“We hath guards, and thou are not they,” she said. “Begone, pretenders!”

“There was a disruption at the Gala,” the younger guard said. “Your regular guards were called in to deal with it.”

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at Bright. Streak could see the slightest hint of discomfort on the guardspony’s face out of the corner of his eye. The Princess nodded. “Thou art permitted to stay. Thou, however,” she said, turning to look at Streak. “Thou art not. Get thine disrespectful self away from Our presence at once.”

“No, ma’am,” Streak said, still looking right ahead. Disrespectful? Maybe now.

“Thee disrespect Us more?” Princess Luna exclaimed, more out of confusion than anger. “Dost thou not know who We are? Dost thou not fear Us?”

“I know who you are, your majesty,” Streak said. “I also know who you were. But scared of you? Never.”

“Why art thou not scared of Us?” she asked. “And why dost thou not look at your Princess when addressing Us?”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, your majesty,” Streak said.

“How would looking at Us make Us uncomfortable?” the younger diarch asked.

“I have a striking appearance,” he said.

“We hath seen wounds most grievous indeed, guard,” Luna said. “We are not afraid of an odd looking pony.” Streak turned to look at her, and she gasped involuntarily as his duality became apparent. After her outburst, he turned to face forward again. “We didn’t mean to insult,” she said softly, seeing the hurt hidden behind Streak’s facade. “We were merely surprised.”

“It is not proper for a guard to hold conversation while on duty,” Streak said in monotone.

The diarch sighed, knowing she was getting nothing further out of the guard. She turned to look at Bright. “What is thine name?”

“Bright, your majesty,” the guard said.

“And what is the name of thine companion?” she asked.

“Streak, your majesty,” he said.

“Thank ye,” she said. “That is all.” With her piece said, she walked through the door.

As soon as the door was closed, Bright whispered harshly, “What were you thinking?”

“I’m not in the mood to talk about it,” Streak replied.

“I don’t care,” Bright whispered. “That was the Princess you just blew off!”

“Bright, do your job and stare straight ahead silently,” the dual guard said.

The guard sighed, seeing he was getting nowhere with him. After a few minutes, the Lunar Diarch called out from her room, “Streak, We wish to see thou.”

The named guard sighed, but obeyed his Princess. As he walked into the entry room, the door slammed behind him. After taking a moment to glance at the door he shrugged and walked further, through a door into the actual room. It was a small room—for a Princess—being just thirty feet square. What he saw inside made him cock an eyebrow.

A tall, lithe alicorn was standing in the middle of the room. She was darker than Luna, a pitch black rather than dark blue. Her mane was the color of Luna’s coat, flowed ethereally, and was dotted with sparkling stars. A long horn was placed on her forehead, and massive wings spread off her back. Her eyes were cyan, with a slit pupil, and it looked like she had applied purple eyeliner around her eyes.

Streak blinked once, twice, and a third time before replying. “Princess Luna?”

The Princess cackled madly, “Your Princess is no more! Soon nighttime eternal shall reign again!”

“Nightmare Moon it is, then,” Streak sighed, “Well, get it over with.”

“Wha–that’s it?” she asked, deflating. “Thou aren’t going to try and stop Us? Not even cower a little?”

“What’s the point?” he asked. “Even if I were to try—and fail, mind you—to stop you, what would happen then? Princess Celestia and the Elements of Harmony are literally in the same building. Your ‘nighttime eternal’ would be, at most, a few hours.”

A starry fog swirled around Nightmare Moon, shrinking and contorting until she appeared as Princess Luna again. “Why art thou not afraid of Us?” she asked. “We even tried turning into the Nightmare again, and it didn’t work.”

“Why are you complaining?” he asked. “Isn’t it better to be loved than feared?”

“But nopony loved Us,” she said. “All We had was fear. Fear is a useful tool.”

“Why do you think ponies sided with Princess Celestia over you when you turned to the Nightmare?” Streak asked. “I can tell you, if you want.”

“Because they love her more than Us,” the young Princess pouted.

“Because they loved both you and Celestia,” the guard said. “The reason they sided with your sister is that they were afraid of you. That is the only reason.”

“We doubt it was the only reason,” she grumbled.

Streak sighed. “Okay, maybe there was something in there about how nighttime eternal would end in extinction for the whole planet.”

“There it is,” Luna said.

“But do you get my point?” he asked. “They are afraid of you because you refuse to let them love you. If they fear you, they can’t love you. You have to make a choice.” He looked her in the eye. “Do you want to be feared, or loved?”

“We–We want to be loved,” she said, sitting down on her rump. “We want to be as Celestia in the eyes of Our subjects.”

“Can that happen while you abuse the latent fear of Nightmare Moon rather than trying to win the love of your subjects?” he asked.

“Why ist thou helping us?” Luna asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier for thou to just leave Us to wallow in our misery?”

“Easy isn’t what I do,” Streak said. “Right is what I do. You needed this talk.”

Luna paused momentarily before asking what had been on her mind for a while. “Why is thine body like it is?” Streak’s face fell into a deadpan, and she quickly said, “We mean no disrespect, but honestly want to know.”

“I decided to play fetch with a timberwolf,” Streak said. “It decided I looked tasty.”

It was Luna’s turn to deadpan. “Tell Us all of it.”

After a few minutes, Streak got his story out. From leaving to find the strange filly Mite, to his return from Hive. The whole time Luna was silent and attentive, only speaking to clarify a point. When he finished telling his story, both him and the diarch were laying down. Her on her bed, and him on the floor. It would be improper for him to have joined her, even at her invitation.

“It sounds like thou went through something nopony alive can help thou with,” Luna said. “Being eaten alive is not something We have experience with.”

“I don’t expect to find help,” Streak said. “I expect to live my life as best I can so that Aphid’s sacrifice doesn’t go to waste.”

“A noble goal,” the diarch said. “One worth living thine life around, if We do say so Ourselves.”

“One quick question, why do you use thee, thine, thou, We, and Us all the time?” Streak asked. “It’s a little odd.”

“That is the proper royal way of speaking,” Luna said in shock. “It surprises Us that thou wish Us to speak in a different manner!”

“I think your ideas of proper are a little dated, your majesty,” Streak said. “I have never once heard Princess Celestia talk in that way.”

“And I think that thou should watch thine tongue,” Luna said, mocking seriousness and glaring at him playfully. “We are thine Princess, after all.”

“Of course, your majesty,” Streak said, grinning, and giving her an overly elaborate bow. “As you wish.” Luna giggled and lightly smacked him on the shoulder with magic. His smile fell as he said, “I should probably get going back outside. I have a job to do and all.”

Luna frowned. “Could thou stay? I–I don’t want to be alone again.”

Streak nodded. “Of course.”

—*~*~*—

“—and when I woke up, I was on a random roof in Ponyville!” Streak exclaimed, much to the Princess’s amusement. “And that’s not the worst part.”

“Oh, don’t tell Us you woke up in somepony’s hooves!” Luna laughed.

“Of all the ponies to wake up cuddling, it had to be Rainbow Dash,” Streak chuckled.

“That didn’t work out well, did it?” she asked with much amusement.

“Oh, no,” Streak said. “You remember how we don’t like each other? She threatened to leave me on the roof!”

“That could have been awkward for thou,” Luna giggled.

“It already was,” he said, laughing. “That would have just made it worse.”

Luna laughed. “Dost thou have any more amusing anecdotes? We find thine company most enjoyable.”

“I have a couple. I didn’t already tell you how I joined the guard, did I?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “We aren’t sure how that could be amusing, but We shall trust thine judgement.”

There was the muffled sound of voices from the other side of the door. “Where is your partner, guardspony?”

“Inside, sir,” Bright said. “The Princess wanted to speak with him, and he’s been in there for hours.”

“It hasn’t been hours,” Streak said, looking at a clock. He blinked. “Or maybe it has.”

There was a knock at the door, and Luna called out, “Come in.”

The door opened, and a stallion walked through. He had a two-toned blue mane that seemed to stick through his helmet. His armor was an ornate thing, more complicated than your average guard’s and gilded in purple. It lay over his white fur as if it was made to fit him perfectly—which made sense when Streak remembered that the purple armor meant he was the Captain of Day—and probably was. Streak immediately stood from his position laying on the floor and saluted his superior.

“At ease, guardspony,” Shining Armor said. He turned to look him in the eye. “Why are you not at your post?”

“Oh hush, Shining Armor,” Luna said. “We explicitly asked him to stay when he attempted to return to his position. Unless thee want to accuse Us of breaking rules, thou would do well to remain silent.”

“Princess,” Streak scolded lightly.

Luna blushed lightly, though it was nearly impossible to see due to her coat color, and repeated what she had said—nicely, “We asked Streak to keep us company.”

“Better,” Streak said with a smile.

“Are you ordering around a Princess, guard?” Shining Armor demanded. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Calm thyself, Shining Armor,” Luna said. “Streak hath brought it to Our attention that We need to change to fit the new Equestria, not the other way around.”

“She was focusing on keeping her feared status, since it was easier,” Streak said. “I convinced her to be nicer.”

Luna blushed a little deeper as she said, “I would like to be loved, rather than feared.”

Shining Armor’s jaw dropped at what he was seeing. “Guard, what’s your name?”

“Streak, sir,” Streak said.

The Captain of the Day guard looked him directly and said, “Have you thought about switching to the Night Guard?”

Author's Note:

For those of you that saw yesterday's chapter, that was totally the chapter after this one. Oops.

Thanks to Black Sun Eclipse for prereading and pointing out my little mistake.

-HB

Comments

[Old Diggy]

Streak settled into position on the right side of the door at Bright’s urging. Apparently the young guard’s right eye wasn’t as good as he would like it to be and he wanted to be on the left, where his good eye was more important. The duo stood perfectly still, knowing that at any point a superior could walk by, and if one did, they didn't want to be caught slacking.

Wouldn't Bright want to be one the Right side than so that his left eye can see more? Being on the left side means that his left eye is going to be seeing mostly wall doesn't it.

[Hidden Brony]

4154797
Think of it as a door in a wide hallway. Kinda like these.
intotheabyss.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/matrix_back_doors_by_drenemy-d4mioe7.jpg

I'm not the best at descriptions, and this was a while ago so I'm even worse.

-HB