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This story is of how Fluttershy has so much rage and frustration built up within her that she transforms into a wrathful pony named Brevity Thrash. She turns from being a sweet pegasus into a vengeful and violent Alicorn. There is little her friends can do to stop her but in the end, the most unlikely of all characters is the one who reminds her of who she really is and causes her to transform back to being good.
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135 and only 2 reviews. How is this even possible?
2914144 I wish I knew. But hey, at least people are looking at it!
2926715 I really liked it. I just didn't feel the need too comment on it. That or I forgot too.
2931097 I'm glad you liked it Firebird.
2931253 No problem.
Dang, you deserve a bigger audience.
That was good, I agree, you should have a bigger audience, and more likes and follows.
yeah i liked this story
though it was a little too fast-paced for my liking, and it resolved itself too quickly
Some matters to consider:
1)Use more dialogue tags like mumbled other than said.
E.g.
you could use 'groaned', instead of 'said'.
2) How does Fluttershy/Brevity Thrash know how to use magic the moment she became an Alicorn? I thought it would take people quick some time to pick up magic skills such as levitation?
3)Plot development not enough for my liking
4) RESOLVED TOO QUICKLY!!!!!! transformation back into Fluttershy too quick.
5) Considering the fact that Brevity/Fluttershy would scare everypony, why hasn't all the countries, eg manehatten, canterlot,ponyville scared that she would destroy them?
that's my issues with this fimfic
dun hate though
That was awesome! I really liked the whole alter ego thing! I like fluttershy as Brevity, but not as much as I like her as her normal cute self.
Great job on the story!
3225406 xfluttersx I like out of character ponies, especially Fluttershy. I also like Pinkamena and I am planning on writing one where Flim & Flam take over a majority of the apple orchards in Equestria and try to run Sweet Apple Acres out of business, but Nightmare Moon will help AJ put them under but at the same time cause a horrible apple famine to hit Equestria, except in Ponyville and Appaloosa.
I am thinking maybe one about Rarity becoming greedy and perhaps a Pinkamena one, a bloodthirsty Pinkamena, I'm not sure about that one but after I finish the Terror in Equestria 5, the one about AJ is a go.
3225703
I myself have to agree. Out of character ponies are my favorite. My personal favorite has to either be Murdershy, or the Lil miss rarity Tumblr. Both of those are amazing. I totally agree though, with your writing skill there is no way the Applejack one could be bad! I think you should do the Pinkamena one as soon as possible, because those are the best kind.
3225719 XfluttersX I will do those as soon as I can but I need to finish Terror in Equestria 5: A Thousand Years Later, which will be the final one in that series. Then I will probably do the AJ one and then one involving Pinkamena.
3230482
Sounds good. Actually you should do what you want, because your the one making them, soo...
3230802 xFluttersx---Well the AJ one is a guarantee. I like her and I think doing a story about her will be awesome. She doesn't get the love she deserves from the fandom. Honesty and a hard work ethic are good qualities in my eyes.
3231206
I totally get what your saying! I don't know what it is, but most people don't like her that much. She's a pretty good character to me. And yes I agree, Honesty and Work = Good.
3232460 My thought as to why so many don't like her that much is because she is a hard working pony and that she is a farm pony. I guess maybe hard work isn't valued that much.
3232572
I'm pretty sure that most people don't like workers when it comes to ponies. They like cute, and funny, and cool ponies...and Applejack doesn't really fit in with that...
3233843 Applejack definitely doesn't fit into the cute or funny category. As a filly she fits into the cute category, but as an adult she doesn't fit either. I don't understand why working ponies don't fit into what people like when it comes to ponies though. The first five years of my life I lived on a ranch and started helping feed cattle at age 3, so I can relate with AJ quite well.
3233906
Oh that's awesome! I do really like Applejack actually. She is one of my favorites, and her filly self is extremely cute. But I agree, people don't appreciate her and I don't know why.
3237999 Like I have said before, it is because she is hard working and honest. She isn't the main character like Twily, she isn't hyper like Pinkie, she isn't elegant like Rarity, she isn't a speed demon like Rainbow Dash and she is not shy and adorable like Fluttershy. That is why so many don't like her or just think of her as insignificant.
Ooh ooh! I'm guessing its Discord who helps fix her, or Princess Luna!
but don't spoil it cause I haven't read it yet
3391001: I so smart :)
Nice idea but needs some work. You tend to just tell the reader what the characters are doing rather than showing us and you often don't really give any explanation for their feelings and actions.
3237999 xFluttersx, I have written an Applejack story. It is called The Price of Cider. I just finished it in February. You ought to check it out, I think you will like it.
Really cool concept that begs for expansion.
5278417 Water Lilly, I am currently working on a story and I have several other planned in my mind but if you wish to know more about Brevity Thrash and her history, she appears in Terror in Equestria 5: A Thousand Years Later. That was my very first story so I was quite the novice writer at that point, I'm glad you liked it though.
5278444 Thanks.