• Member Since 9th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2019

Ponisattva


T

It was a night like any other in Ponyville. It was, until a shooting star turned into a burning streak that roared overhead before crashing off into the distance. At first it looked like a meteor. But then it had turned, quite sharply, and flattened its trajectory, sailing uncomfortably close to the treetops.

Twilight Sparkle had dismissed the idea of visitors from beyond the stars as pure fantasy, the type of pulp novel that Rainbow Dash seemed to enjoy. Now it was a frightening possibility, and now nothing could ever be the same.

Unbeknownst to her, the accidental visitors to Equestria are just as frightened. Laws of physics that had long been understood and mastered have broken down, leaving them trapped and sitting on a possible ticking time bomb on this strange fantasia of an alien world. As utopias collide, both are faced with an event outside all comprehension, events which civilizations rarely encounter more than once, and generally the same way as a sentence encounters a full stop.

A crossover with The Culture series by the late Iain M. Banks.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 116 )

Oh my holy god yes.

Okay, I noticed a couple of typos, but I'm on my tablet so I can't point them out at the moment. Suffice to say they didn't distract from the story, which is off to a bloody good start let me tell you.

I was a little wary of anyone being able to pull this off, but this is excellent. You've got the voices of both sides down perfectly. Hope to see more.

Here I was thinking the title was just coincidence or inspired.

Interesting. Very interesting indeed. I will be following this.

Good show author, please continue.

you have my interest please continue

You have my attention, even if I'm a bit wary of anyone being able to pull this off well.

This is certainly new, so I will take a look at it having a fair deal of knowledge about the Cultures series, but in that description, Calling Equestria and the Culture Utopas? Haha, no. The Culture likes to think of themselves as one, but they aren't, and Equestria tries, but fails, to be one.

You have my attention.

Diziet Sma, please on your gelfield suit, it should still be functioning.

I believe you're missing a 'put' there.

Also, I see a lot of things 'beginning to happen' when them just 'happening' would do just as fine. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Looks interesting, nice opening chapter.

I am liking this so far.
Other than that "on" that should be either "put on" or "don", my only complaint is your occasionally tactless descriptions. For instance, you state Sma is nude, that her body is lithe and (again) nude, and that her body is athletic. Yet you give no real context nor relevance for these blunt descriptions. Other than that, looking forward to more.

Finally! A Culture crossover!

RIP Iain M. Banks, he made space opera mean something again among an ocean of grungy cyberpunk.

upon relising this was a culture crossover, my life just got better,

will read now.

Yep. Yes. Yeah.

I'm following this fucker.

Let's see what you got, boyo!

~Skeeter the Lurker

The title's appropriate. I hadn't even heard of the Culture until now. Definitely going to have to look into it.

In the meantime, I look forward to more.

Not bad, this looks like it could be very interesting.

Could use some minor editing, but definitely interesting.

Very promising opening! A few niggling errors here and there, but overall this was good. I can't wait to see Rainbow Dash and Skaffen-Amtiskaw interacting.

This.

All of this.

More!

:pinkiehappy:

ps. I love the Culture novels and this looks like it's going to be a fun ride!

All of my likes! Now I need... moar!

A few minor wording issues aside, this is so awesome.

1. Tiny colourful talking horses
2. Experimental lady with a "healthy appetite"
3. All the sarcasm in the universe given the form of a drone
4. ????
5. PROFIT

Author. You sir, are made of win.

Uh oh, now you've done it... Now you're going to have to not-disappoint a lot of readers eagerly anticipating each chapter. I'm not sure whether you're brave, foolish, or some combination of the two to attempt this. :pinkiecrazy: The fans will eat you alive! :pinkiecrazy:

Seriously though, I saw the title and realized instantly my "list of favorite things that don't have a pony crossover" was now shorter. That phrase (and the mind-stretching explanation of it) were one of the more awesome things I took away from the Culture series. I do think you've set yourself up for quite a challenge here, but so far, it looks like you got a good start, and I can't wait to see what you do with it.

A Culture/Pony crossover? Almost makes me want to break my rule of not reading fics until they're finished... ngh... severely tempted.

What the heck; rules are meant to be broken. :twilightoops: (sorry Twilight)

eagerly looking forward to more :twilightsmile:

Hmm, never heard of Culture, personally, but it seems interesting. I'll keep an eye on this. :twilightsmile:

Culture and ponies? Oh my god yes. I have been waiting for this since forever.

This is awesome and I'm eagerly awaiting more.

Lovely! :pinkiehappy:

However, there is a huge problem so far. A lack of :"Chapter 2" Pls fix as soon as possible. :trollestia:

The amount of 'win' in this chapter can only be described by referencing theory's pertaining to the density of matter at the center of an ultra-massive singularity.

this is getting good

Great chapter, really enjoy the style you have going here.:twilightsmile:

The the plot, as they say, thickens.

Looking forward to the next update.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Can't wait for more.... This is definitely a good read.

I might have enjoyed this chapter, had you not interrupted a perfectly good fic with an essay.

An essay about things I already knew. Equestria and the Culture can both be called utopias? Really? You're going to insert an essay into the middle of a fic to tell me that?

PPS

The intro was intrusive. Most of it was irrelevant to the narrative, and the parts that were relevant would be better worked into the actual story. Also, the content reads like a foreword, but it's at the top of chapter 2.

With an eep of surprise, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash down the outside of the embankment.

Uh, you're kind of missing a verb here.

There's a lovely unpredictability to the ecosystems of a natural planet.

Oh, irony...

Anyway, fantastic stuff here. Nothing says "doom" quite like antineutronium, and the use of no fewer than two footnotes to confirm that the author did not make up the horse puns was brilliant. Definitely looking forward to more as the cultures collide. Especially when Pinkie Pie shows up.

Heh. Even a mind can't deceive Twi. Then again it's not at full potential.

Few typos again. "Ought" being the most noticeable.

2986108
Well, I didn't know any of that about the Culture, so I appreciated it.

2988375

I think that if you're going to read a crossover with a series you've never read, then not understanding the setting is a risk you have chosen to take.

2988578 I'd be a rather poor sport if I didn't give readers like them the cliffnotes version. The Culture has a strong, loyal following, and frankly I was surprised at how many turned up on fimfiction, but that doesn't mean I'm going to exclude people who showed interest but didn't know.

I'd hardly call it an "essay" anyway, and it's an integral part of the framing device I've chosen. You're free to not like it. But it is important, because it establishes a specific interpretation of the MLP setting. (And it gives me an opportunity, like any frustrated student, to poke fun at the figures I've been studying, but that's an author's indulgence that really isn't important :P )

Anyway...I'll get around to fixing the typos and accidentally omitted words sometime later.

2988669

But could you not have worked that exposition into the actual story instead of completely breaking the flow?

This is interesting, and very different from how I would imagine a Culture/Equestia crossover. (I would have had Equestria as a rogue planet, Celestia and Luna as avatars of an eccentric Mind(s) who are keeping the planet warm with Gridfire, and unicorn horns are biological Effectors...)

2990481 Whoever said that they aren't biological effectors :twilightsmile:

2988740
Well, trying to work that kind of thing into the narrative usually results in horrible clunky stuff like

"As you know," Diziet told Skaffen, "The Culture's general answer for social problems is infinite abundance made possible by rational social planning."

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

2986793 Agreed. The entire first section could be cut, and it would only make the work better. My eyes were glazing over by the end of the first paragraph. "Show, don't tell," is one of the most basic rules of keeping a story interesting.

Just one thing: it is much easier to read footnotes online if they are consistently marked. If you use (1) in the text, using (1) to label the footnote makes it easy to find for. If you use different markings within the text and at the beginning of the footnote, either you have to know (and change in the Find box) the format for each one, or you have to find for the number by itself (and get a whole lot of false positives from things like read later counts, post numbers, timestamps, and so on).

Nice, I want to see it continued.

Two small typos:
@chapter1

Then game another great crash, and the earth shook like a jello mold.

Then came
@chapter2

“Well, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm here with my friend Rainbow Dash...she's the pegasus standing over their,

over there,

3196243 Thanks for the comments. Chapter 3 is in the pipe, though things have been a bit busy as of late. Maybe by this weekend :)

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