• Member Since 19th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 16th, 2013

Farseer


Alright everypony... I guess I need to edit my bio, eh? It's a WIP... check back in a bit.

E

Shining Armor certainly lives up to his name when it comes to protecting his younger sister. She's become a prime target for a small pack of bullies, jealous that she has become Celestia's personal apprentice. However, the bullies have gotten a new target now- Shining Armor. When it starts to get more physical, he's become accustomed to even having to use magic to put up with it. As he arrives home one day injured from the barrage, help comes from an unexpected direction.

Hello, all! I figured that this would be a nice change of pace from the grimdark stories that I have been working on. The story idea is credit to DoctorWhoAreYouvian. I hope you enjoy!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

Not bad, you may want to check your past/present tense usage especially at the beginning. O/A have a Cutealoo :scootangel:

This is cute, but one error:

But where is mom and dad?

Is should be are.

Would have been nice to see the bullies actually get punished.

Is Magolor an actual word? It just makes me think of that Kirby character. And the unintentional meaning behind his name.

Your 'girlfriend' as you put it, is a direct relative of the Princesses.

Only one princess at the moment, don't forget!

Good story, though!

2907155 Alright, I will look into it. And thanks for a Scoots.

2907187 Ah. Slipped mah radar.

2907351 I know it would have been, but I felt that it would have contributed less to the actual point of a cute Twilight story.

2907772 Congratulations for finding the one Kirby reference! I was going to add a blog post concerning that... kind of pointless now.

2909977 Heh. Good point.

It's a cute story but it doesn't really have a point to it. What I mean is, nothing got resolved and the ending kinda fell flat.
Your grammar and everything else was spot on though.
Also, whoever came up with that rhyme was didn't know what they were talking about. Word's hurt just as much as physical pain. Take it from someone whose school life was hell.:ajbemused:

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