[February Write-Off Entry] The mane six go on a vacation. Together. But can they stay together?
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SleeplessBrony
Joined 12th Oct, 2011 ·
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Best dialogue I've seen so far in the competition. Good work. : D
That was damnably adorable. Also, none of them had sex, which wasn't too surprising given the "everyone" rating. I really enjoyed this one, and am happy that this means you can finally get back to Romance Reports stuff.
Hey, past tense! Also:
"And if anything scares you, you can hide in your shell. Anytime you want,” Fluttershy said with dreamy eyes.
Wonderful. And of course Twilight's inner monologue is brilliant as always.
Mm, corralling...
Its not clop......I'm surprised
SleeplessBrony wrote something that isn't clop? And in past tense? Definitely worth a read...
Twas a great story, and I've come to expect no less from you. The entire premise was a little cliché, but you wrote it all very well. I do wish that there was something else to this story, though.
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Hey, thanks for reading. Like it says in the description, this was in the write-off, so no sex. And it was a bit rushed. Still, I wanted to do something shorter, cuter, and more episode-like, and I think I pulled that off. Plenty of things I would change though - had some great ideas right after the submission deadline, of course.
And yeah, past tense! Trying new things, as long as I'm getting back into the game.
~It's just a show. Sorry, couldn't resist the MST3k joke. Great story, though.
Another perfect story by Sleepless Brony
"Ralphing"? Never heard of that before. Great story, BTW!
Things in fanfiction I still want the series to do:
More filly mane 6. Either flashback or transformation.
Body or pony type swap.
Beach/lakeside/camping vacation episode. Getting bored of Canterlot.
An E-rated story? By Sleepless?
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But seriously, this was really well done.
That was fantastic! It really felt like an episode, and your characterizations were spot on. I dunno if it was intentional (probably not) but Rarity's using of Stallions for shade on the beach reminded me of a similar situation in the show Avatar the Last Airbender where a character Ty Lee did the same thing. Anywho, awesome work
Very cute stuff. Kinda unimpressed with everybody being perfectly fine with them saying they;re all together and totally ignoring spike, though it is common enough on the show so I guess points for keeping with theme.
Honestly that's a minor nitpick it's a really sweet fun story.
Right on the button, character wise. good story.
As always, Sleepless knocks it out of the park.
An oldie but a goodie. As is the norm with Slice of Life, I felt really good reading this. Great short.
This was really cute. Right out of an episode of the show. Good work. :)
This definitely feels like it could be an episode.
And considering how much I love the show itself, that's saying something.