• Member Since 15th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Workable Goblin


Exceptionally slow writer, exceptionally fast reader.

T

One hundred years ago, ponykind discovered they were not native to their planet, Equus. For the past sixty years, they have been working on a spaceship to return them to their true homeworld. The young unicorn scientist Twilight Sparkle has provided the final piece of the puzzle needed to complete the gigantic mothership intended to lead their return, a technology to fuse pony and machine into a single organism. Refusing to allow anypony else to undergo the highly experimental procedure, she sacrifices herself to become Fleet Command. In just months, the Mothership will finally launch, and an age-old journey will begin.

Elsewhere aboard the ship, six ponies who would, in another universe, have been her close friends and companions prepare. Shining Armor is commanding the vessel's final assembly, including the permanent integration of his sister into its computational core. Applejack commands life support, keeping fifty thousand ponies alive in the depths of space. Fluttershy has just come aboard as the ship's lead zoologist, a renowned expert in animal behavior whose talents will, hopefully, extend to alien life. Rainbow Dash is a scout pilot, one of the ship's complement of defenders, as well as the tip of the ship's mission of exploration. Rarity is a master machinist, ensuring that the new and experimental technology the ship is working on always has a certain artistic flair. And Pinkie Pie is a pastry chef by day and entertainer by night, ensuring in her own inimitable way the ship's continued morale.

But none of them have the power to see what awaits them in their mission...

(MLP/Homeworld crossover)

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 38 )

Promising beginning. I hope you can get this story done, because we're seriously missing a good Homeworld adaption.
One question though? What was the point of having those two ships appear, just to immediately destroy them? Getting a first contact scenario similar to the game itself should have been sufficient, shouldn't it?

3055671
Thank you for your interest. I have a complete plot and plans for each chapter I expect to include, so there should hopefully be little risk of failing to complete this one (I quite agree on the dearth of Homeworld adaptations, thus this...)

As to your question, well, it was a training simulation. And only one of them--the sea urchin that was the second to jump in--was destroyed. The other was moving up to carry out first contact, but because such a simulation would be lengthy, the Xenocontact teams whom it would most interest already have their own training sessions dedicated to decoding alien messages, and they needed to clear the room for another group, they simply ended the scenario at that point. A first contact scenario similar to the game's would not serve all of the narrative purposes of that particular scene, although it could serve most of them.

Good story so far, I'm liking the detail and build up. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter, this story promises to be brilliant.

3055783
Ah ok, I didn't notice that it was a simulation. I'm looking forward to how you plan to set up the conflict then, if they aren't going to encounter the Turanic Raiders.

Pretty cool story, will be tracking.

Liking this, so far.

This is an excellent story—and a sci fi one, to boot! There are not enough sci fi stories out there, let alone good ones.

Never heard of Homeworld, but it sounds like it could sort out my RTS fix. Assuming it can run on my laptop, of course.

Ok, first of all... amazing beginning. My headcanon Rarity puts her as a machinist+engineer, which is what I do for a living. So naturally I'll like that part of it :3 (BTW, if it means anything, sweetie belle would make a great programmer... hint):rainbowwild:

The only thing I would really suggest is changing "3D printer" to "rapid prototyping machine". When 3D printers are being discussed, generally whats being inferred is the lower quality 'hot glue gun' type machines. Rapid prototyping machine is generally inferring the higher quality industrial machine shop grade machines, and more often than not, of the SLS and SLA type rapid prototyping methodologies. Not too many people understand that distinction... but then again not too many people are machinists either.:raritywink:

3057776 It runs on mine so it might

Woah, this is not dead... time to do some reading

The next chapter is going to be awful... and I don't mean the quality of the writing.
:applecry::fluttercry::raritycry:

Best Homeworld crossover story, ever :twilightsmile:

3983632 The perils of a Homeworld crossover, though it might be possible for something less tragic to occur. I hope anyway. :fluttercry:

Oh, this level. :pinkiesad2: I just about cried the first time I played through this one.

By the way, Workable Goblin, I'm really enjoying how you're keeping the general storyline of the game while varying quite a bit from how the blow-by-blow gameplay of each level goes. You've really given it some depth. I look forward to the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

That's everything, seal the ports.

4239945

Thanks! I have been making quite a few efforts to tinker with the Homeworld half to make it work better textually (or sometimes to appease the physicist half of the brain...), and to avoid having this simply be a novelization (with ponies). So far, most of those changes haven't actually shown up, but in the end I feel this will be quite recognizably Homeworld to anyone who has played through.

I do appreciate these sorts of comments, so keep 'em coming!

4240913 Well, I thought the physicist half of your brain has done an excellent job so far. You managed to portray the scale and speeds of space realistically without it detracting from the narrative pace. I've not read many sci fi authors who try to do that (and only some of those who do succeed). Kudos for that. :rainbowdetermined2:

If I could offer a suggestion: I noticed that when you brought the intact cryo trays to the bridge crew's attention and they prioritized their salvage over other activities, there wasn't anything there or in the previous chapters to tell the reader why those trays were so important. (Someone already familiar with the game would know the reason, but from the rest of what you've written I'm guessing you're trying to make this story accessible to someone who's never touched Homeworld before.) I would suggest watching out for places like that in the future, where it would be easy to take knowledge of the crossover universe for granted.

That said, I can't wait to see what you do with the characters I hope are coming up in the next level/chapter! First contact scenarios have a bit of a special place in my heart. :twilightsheepish:

Great chapter. A few details could use re-stating, like if Dash is in a fighter craft or if she's just in some kind of space suit -- I'd assumed a craft, but then she mentioned 'her wings' and I wasn't so sure.

Descriptions were excellent, as was the combat. Honestly, my main worry is that this is going to be a straight tractical story, with no human element to give it all done weight. Would like to see maybe a chapter mainly from Twilight's perspective, or mainly Shining's, or mainly Dash's, rather than jumping between then -- I feel love we'd get much more of thier personal take on all of this, rather than what they're doing.

Best line of the chapter goes to:

She checked the mission clock. Fifteen seconds had passed since they had hit the first line of fighters.

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Yes, Dash is piloting a fighter craft. I did deliberately blur the lines between her and her spacecraft in this chapter, so I suppose your confusion is understandable.

(The wings thing was supposed to be like she was feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand up or something of that sort)

As far as this being a straight tactical story, well, wait until next chapter (or rather, the next post or two over on Space Battles). I promise you you won't be worried about that after that (even if it does continue the approach of jumping between viewpoints, I think it should satisfy your desire to hear their personal take. I certainly hope it does!)

I think I accidently skipped this chapter, earlier. This was good. The Fluttershy subplot in particular is pretty fascinating -- did I read that right when she described the blue scientist as 'her geneticist'? Raises some interesting questions...

Applejack's bit had promise, but we'll see. Interested to see how she's going to react to the destruction of Equis, along with her life and family.

4429765

You read that right, indeed. Fluttershy is the chair of the Xenozoology unit (this will be explicitly stated at the beginning of the next chapter, if it hasn't been already), and as such has a staff of support scientists and non-scientific staff who are there to help investigate any extra-Equus life they come across. Like, say, the mysterious attackers who just blew up their planet...:flutterrage:

Also, I think I can safely say that Applejack will not take the events of chapter 3 very well, no.

Yes, yes this is still going and awesome!

Homeworld was my first RTS, and one of the best, up there with Warcraft and StarCraft. I can't wait to see where you go with this!

For example, a structure which appeared on gross dissection to be a parallel to pain-processing centers in the equine brain was not activated during fMRI scanning, but instead a structure which appeared to resemble known equine language areas was very active, despite a lack of vocalizations...

...largest limitation on current studies is limited number of living specimens (eight). Acquiring more should be a high priority for further biological data...

With Spacebattles down I'll say it again. Hardcore Fluttershy is Hardcore.:flutterrage: And after reading that this:

...anesthetics are the highest priority to allow more sophisticated surgical procedures...

can be taken in a more sinster light.

Guess everyone is dealing with the Burning of Equus in their own way.

Pinkie Pie: "This is my party Ion Cannon!" :pinkiecrazy:

Will we ever find out about Spike? Is he in this universe?

...
That's it, Gearbox is taking too long, I'm going to reinstall Homeworld... and favorite this.

Pretty good build-up, not in a hurry to get to the meat of things, giving us plenty of time and viewpoints to really become invested with it, and grammar and spelling were pretty damn good.

Wow. This really made my day.

Seeing this done, and done pretty damn well, almost fills my cold, shriveled, cynical heart with hope. Like smelling the sea after a long trek through the Great Desert.

My only complaint being that I wished you'd touched more on the Mothership launching. Felt a little too detached and impersonal having it relegated to Fleet Command's status updates at the end of the chapter. The monumental occasion of the Mothership detaching itself from the scaffold and launching under it's own power for the first time just feels... squandered.

4518248 Those were some of my first RTS games too, alongside Total Annihilation, Medieval: Total War, Age of Empires, MechCommander, Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun & Red Alert 2 + their expansions.

4534428
Eh, I was quickly swallowed by StarCraft and Warcraft, and then moved to Master of Orion and Pax Imperia. It was awesome.

But Homeworld will always hold my heart for being true 3D tactical warfare, a great story with voice acting, and the odd diconomay with the blank and white cut scenes and the amazing in game graphics. I am so getting the collectors addition, in hopes of generating a homeworld 3.

4531176
Hmm, I think RD and pinky would be good together. One has 'Combat sense', and the other has 'Pinky sense'. I only wonder the hidden potential of the pony race.

Great chapter.

Haven't had much time to read, but this went a long way toward developing the cast, and I enjoyed every scene. In particular, Twilight and Shiny. I also quite liked Rarity cleaning up Pinkie, just to DO something helpful while she tried to imagine some way to get through to her.

And the Taiidan are griffons! Was wondering how you'd handle that.

Still holding out hope Gilda gets cast as the captain of the renegade vessel Kapella.

I have never played Homeworld, but the premise of this story seems interesting. Can it be read without knowledge of the game?

4635858
Indeed it can, since I wrote it assuming that most readers would not be familiar with the game.

4635876 +1 on the To Read list.

And... Enter the Bentusi, I wonder who you have playing them. I'm thinking the Zebra, would be a natural fit.

This fic... So much yes! :yay:

I love the interaction between Applejack and Fluttershy! :ajsmug::yay:

Although their pinpricks were doing little to the enemy ship, behind them the bulk of the Equestrian fighter forces were closing into firing range unmolested by the enemy’s defenses.

...:trollestia:

Fluttershy smiled down at her, and sat. Curling up next to her friend, she slept.

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8312-1350572536277626.gif

THAT WAS SO ADORABLE! :heart:

Though the whole chapter was great! Every conversation was very well done. :rainbowkiss:

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