• Published 19th Jul 2013
  • 2,781 Views, 49 Comments

Twilight Sparkle Runs Out of Toilet Paper - Star Plasma



Twilight is reading a book in the bathroom and then she realizes that she is out of TP.

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The Tough Decision

Spike paced around the library uncomfortably. Rarity had asked if he could help her with some clothes a while ago, and he was supposed to be at the boutique by now. As a matter if fact, he would be, if only...

Spike changed his course and walked toward the bathroom. It was a secret that only he knew. The reason why Twilight would often spend more than an hour in the bathroom each time she went.

She read a book every time she went.

And Spike knew what responses his questions would receive while Twilight was reading books. Anything he asked would be answered by a "Uh-huh", or an "Okay".

He wanted to be sure that Twilight knew that he was going to Rarity's, and that he would not be back at the library for a while. Owowicious was gone too; Twilight had sent him to get a bunch of stuff a while ago, and he was going to need some help carrying it all back once he was done. But that wouldn't be for a while.

Spike stood outside of the bathroom door, his patience wearing thin. He knew that Twilight wasn't going to be out for a while, thanks to Princess Celestia. The Princess had discovered a spell book inside the depths of the Castle Library, and she had sent it to Twilight so she could study it.

It was also a very large spellbook.

Spike's patience was just about up, but then...

"SPIKEY-WIKEY!!!" was called from outside and followed by some pounding on the door. Time to go!

"Twilight! I'm going to Rarity's!" the purple dragon shouted to the bathroom door. Spike pressed his ear up to the door to hear Twilight's answer.

"Uh-huh."

Spike sighed and walked out of the library.

* * *

Twilight sat on the toilet, completely absorbed in this new spellbook. She was ever so grateful to her mentor for sending the book, but she also wondered how much longer she would be in the bathroom. She would often read a book from start to finish on the think-tank, but if that were the case with the spellbook, she would be on the toilet for a really long time.

Twilight decided to finish up, but then something interesting caught her eye. One of the spells was written in some weird ancient language that Twilight didn't know.

She flipped the page. Same strange language. She looked at the next page. Same language. Twilight flipped through the entire book and was shocked to discover that the whole 2nd half was written in the ancient language.

Fascinating, Twilight thought.

The lavender mare decided to have Spike write a letter to the princess once she was out of the bathroom. These spells needed to be deciphered right away. Twilight yawned and looked around.

Twilight looked next to the toilet. The toilet paper holder had nothing more than an empty roll with a couple ripped sheets of toilet paper hanging off of it.

Twilight rolled her eyes and cursed Spike. She opened the bathroom cabinet with her magic and peered inside. No toilet paper.

Twilight began to search around frantically for toilet paper. Her eyes desperately searched the entire bathroom, but no toilet paper was to be found. Twilight's face lit up as an idea popped into her head.

"SPIIIIIKE!" she called. It was simple! She would have Spike run down to the store and buy some toilet paper, and then he would come back and give it to her and she would be out before tomorrow! Only one problem...

Spike wasn't answering her, and she didn't hear his footsteps either. Where had that dragon gone?

Twilight looked at the toilet paper holder with an angry look on her face. She swore to always check the toilet paper holder before she sat down on the toilet, and she vowed to keep the cabinet stocked with toilet paper all the time.

Being stuck on the toilet changes a pony. It causes you to think like you never have before.

Twilight flipped through the spellbook again, hoping that there was a spell to create toilet paper out of nowhere or something. It would be the most amazing spellbook in Equestria if it did, but Twilight slammed the book down on the floor when she discovered that she hadn't overlooked anything.

She facehoofed and sighed. She opened one eye and looked down at the book, cringing at the idea that popped into her head.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and this was a desperate time indeed.

She opened the book that she threw on the floor. She struggled to decide which pages to tear out, then decided that it would be better if she tore out the ones with the ancient writing. Not like she could read them anyway.

Besides, how important could they be?

Twilight tore out some pages of the 2nd half of the book, and each page she tore out sounded like a pony that was getting murdered. At least they did to her. Twilight wondered what she would've rather done; killed a pony, or tore out pages from the innocent spellbook.

After she tore out the desired amount of pages, Twilight wiped. With each wipe, it felt like she was killing a pony. After bearing through the pain of it all, Twilight let out a sigh of relief.

It was over. It was finally over.

Or so she thought...

* * *

The Next Day...

Twilight Sparkle woke up with the sun shining on her face. She was so happy to have yesterday's ordeal behind her, and she honestly wasn't even that mad at Spike! Speaking of which, she needed to make sure that he went to go get some toilet paper soon.

Twilight didn't see the little dragon in his bed, so she figured that he had gotten up early to do some chores. Twilight jumped out of her bed and hurried downstairs.

"SPIII-" Twilight called, but was then cut off by a knock at the door. Twilight was about to go answer it, but Spike beat her to it.

The dragon opened the door to reveal... "Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked.

What could she be doing here? Why was she... Oh.

Twilight had tried her best to put the incident behind her, but she should have known that it would come back to haunt her.

Princess Celestia smiled when she saw Twilight. "Twilight, did you go through that spellbook I sent to you?"

Twilight nodded.

"Great! Tell me what you discovered."

"Well, the first half of the book contained some pretty interesting spells. The second half was written in some ancient language..."

Celestia's ears perked up at this. "Really? Can you show me?"

Twilight retrieved the book from her desk and showed the ancient language to Princess Celestia. The Princess studied it for a while, flipping back and forth between the pages.

"Twilight. This all appears to be one spell, but it doesn't make any sense. The second page is completely irrelevant to the first one. It's as if some pages are missing or something." Princess Celestia said, disappointed.

Twilight shuffled her hooves nervously.

"Twilight? Do you know what happened to the pages?" Celestia asked.

Twilight sighed.

"It's a long story..."

Author's Note:

Just something I wrote in my spare time a while ago. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Comments ( 48 )

Really cool idea, but it does not fit well to Twilight. She would probably rather wipe with her own tail than tear a page out of a book. Also, she has magic, she can wipe it to the molecule with her telekinesis alone, no need for toilet paper in the first place.

2901475 are she ues idk oh wait MAGIC!

2901581 sober up before you comment, will you.

2901475 Magic doesn't work that way and there's no way she'd use her tail. She just wouldn't. :eeyup:

2901769 not in this country!

2901774 oh oh oh yeh why not you make me huh buddy i got what you need right here and......... wait what i was typing about again?

2901874 oh right the candy i love thos there so sweet and good to have i wonder if they can make it into an engery drink??

2901936 Lol the hershey squirts is diarrhea dude

2901943 really becasue it sand like a candy, i really need to stop dirnk this shit ( thowr the beer at the window and it hit a cat )

2901943 anyway cool story dude

2901936 You wouldn't understand the joke if you didn't watch the "Conker's Bad Fur Day" short on YouTube. :ajsleepy:

That's also where "Not in this country." comes from. Sorry you had to find out the hard way. :twilightoops:

Anyway on an unrelated note have you read "Rarity Runs Out of Toilet Paper"? It's a humanized fic that revolves around sort of the same concept except Rarity does something else.

You know I wonder if this story idea will become a thing? Like maybe someone will publish "Rainbow Dash Runs Out of Toilet Paper" or heaven forbid "Fluttershy Runs Out of Toilet Paper".

Twilight Sparkle, you are fucked!:trollestia::facehoof:

2902861 i know the joke but it's rarely use today

2902889 That's why they invented The Internet.

2902904 the internet is a great thing :trollestia:

2902914 Welcome to the Internet. Quick word to the wise watch out for trolls and porn they're everywhere. :trollestia:

2902928 and for smart people to make money in the internet black market and that fully use it's people i call people that use the internet just for porn shopping and fun are Playgrounders.

Raven: ....... She's dead.

Dr. X: ....... No comment, then.

Funny as this was, nothing about it makes sense. There's only so far disbelief can be suspended for Rule of Funny, and this pretty much went past that line.

I just use the toilet paper roll when this happens.

Omfg dude... did you really expect this to get featured? There's funny stupid, and then there's just plain no.. stupid Lol. Message me and I'll tell you all the things that are wrong with this fic if you want to make the feature box. Next time, you must must MUST consort with me before submitting your fic. Haha.

Remember, I'm like an expert at writing stupid shit like this and making it seem funny to most people lolz.

Mother fucker lolz

been there done that.tech manual. fucking whoops.

2904009 You always manage to attract the dislikes when you comment on my stories as well.

2905055 This better than a 2nd person?

2915160
MUCH.

To top its better-ness off, it's a good old fashioned oneshot! My favorite! :pinkiehappy:

2915551 Oh. Well too bad more people disliked this than the 2nd person story! I really don't know what to do here...:pinkiesad2:

2915561 Your 2nd p fic was clop. nuff sed.

2915579 What? No it isn't!

2915588 Romance tag. 'you and luna' it's about as implied as it gets, that's really enough. :applejackunsure:

2915598 :facehoof:. It's innocent love.

2915601 I'm trying to pm you to keep your comments clean but the site is all broken. Anyhow. I haven't read it, so im not casting judgement. I'm just saying. Do you have a steam account?

2915619 Aha! So that's why stuff hasn't been working! I was starting to think everybody hated me...

And no, no I don't. Why do ya ask?

2915628 So I can talk to you without polluting your story comments. :rainbowwild:

2915632 Oh. Well I have a facebook if that's any better.

2915647 I suppose we should postpone this conversation until the bugs are fixed then?

2915656 Indubitably. Remind me.

If I was Twilight, I would blame it all on Spike. :derpytongue2:

JBL

2915647 You WOULD be against Facebook, eh grandpa?! :rainbowlaugh:

3002307 Back in my day, face-book meant slamming your face into a book!

JBL

3002870 Y'all had some weeeeeeird hobbies back in the 20's, Gramps.

I laughed so hard when Spike told me about this. :') Good times..good times.

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