Breakdown

by McPoodle

Chapter 12: Death Comes to Poughkeepsie

Breakdown

Chapter 12: Death Comes to Poughkeepsie

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Well, this is it: the part of the story I really didn’t want to tell. The part I really hoped could get indefinitely deferred by my rescue.

Only there isn’t going to be a rescue, because I’m already dead.

Surely that’s what’s happening with me—I died of hypothermia an hour or two ago, and now I am in Hell. And Hell for Dr. Nathan Franklin consists of exactly the same rain-soaked pit I have been spending the past day in. Metaphorically, the same pit I’ve been in since your death, George, a pit I have never been able to escape from.

I am here for oh, so many crimes in my relatively brief life: For not caring. For not doing anything to save you. For using the poor as a stepping stone to fame and fortune. But for one crime, one crime above all.

I am here because I murdered Fluttershy.

---

If we ignore the anomalous episode with Gilda, we are left with the other crime I neglected to mention: the death-by-neglect of Danielle and Gary. I had the power. If I was there, it would have been so easy to go in and save them. Go in and take out those damn self-important ponies that thought they had the right to steal lives, to entrap minds within their candy-colored bodies, to lure the inexperienced to their doom with promises of making Earth into an Equestrian paradise. But in the end all of those promises were lies, and every human who found themselves in a pony body was damned.

I should have killed Wave Rider while I had the chance. And Gold Star, and Rain Shimmer and Cerulean Sunrise, and each and every last one of those equine demons. Because they are not real, they are not the pure and perfect characters they claim to be, but rather the sick fantasy of a sick god who thinks that he is Discord. Delusion rules everything.

And I had the power. In a world where thoughts could become reality, the master of dreams is the master of the waking world as well. If I could kill these pony invaders—and I most assuredly could—how hard would it be to tell those pony bodies to revert to their human originals? In truth, I could have solved this whole mess from the moment that a deluded draconequus took my hand in his. If only I knew then what I know now—I could have gone into his mind and untangled the whole mess.

But alas, that’s the insight of a poor fool in a pit.

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Day 12: Threesday? Midnight-ish EST. Middle of Nowhere, NY.

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“There was a man,” the long-dead voice of Karen Carpenter crooned at me. “A lonely man. Who lost his love, through his indifference...” The lyrics were a little too close to home, so I reached up and switched off the car radio.

I was in that rental car that I wanted so badly. The one that would get me to Albany, where a plane waited to take me back to Los Angeles by an absurdly convoluted route. As if I held any delusions that I was getting out this mess alive.

The rain was pouring down outside my car, reducing visibility to nearly nil. Luckily for me, I was the only one stupid enough to be driving in this weather. I was reminded of the early scenes of Psycho, where Marion Crane thinks she’s gotten away with enough stolen money to set her up for life. All she wanted at that moment was to find the next exit, a safe place to sleep before she reunited with her lover. Of course she ran into Mrs. Bates before that could happen. Like Marion, I was just looking for an exit.

“Exit? Why not keep going?” So said the insidiously friendly and calming voice from the passenger seat of my car.

I smiled. Finally, I thought. “I’m all up for a little side trip,” I said without bothering to turn my head. “What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, it’s just an ordinary little office complex, someplace that nobody ever gives a second look. Made up of full cabinets and full hard drives. To a lover of facts and figures, it must seem like an idyllic wonderland. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of the like back home.”

Before me, the image in the rear-view mirror shifted to show the unassuming complex he was speaking of. It consisted of a large warehouse with a small office building attached.

“I’ve seen Chinatown, Discord,” I said, looking into that vista. “There’s no such thing as idyllic in Los Angeles County. So what do you have for me?”

“I have the perfect storage facility for wayward ponies. And I have a certain yellow and pink pony who I need you to separate from its human, at all costs.” The joviality has faded out of his voice by this point, replaced by the dull uninterested voice of a scientist speaking of a test subject. “This is what you have been working towards, is it not?” he added. As if he actually needed to cajole me.

I shrugged with indifference. “I thought purposeful lives weren’t your thing.”

“A life is a nebulous thing,” Discord replied, turning philosophical. “I choose to do with it as I find fit at any moment in time. In addition, purpose is even less defined. Is this really the path you wish to go down at this moment? Purpose in life? Next exit by the way.”

I took the purpose, and destination, given to me. “I’m sorry if I misunderstood you. I have a cause, yes. My success rate lately has been…” (I caught a glimpse of myself in the now-clear mirror. God, how long has it been since I’ve slept last? I asked myself.) “...less than optimal. Now, yellow and pink pony,” I said, teasing out the words. I knew full well the stakes. “Not going to be easy, obviously. Not going to be easy at all. A certain amount of...force may be required.” I needed to know how far he expected me to go.

“I don’t expect you to kill her, doctor. I don’t expect you would have the guts to.” He leered at me then, almost laughing outright at the idea that his puppet would dare to do anything that daring. “I expect you to simply slow or reverse some of the merge. I need you not to cut down the tree but to chip the surface, give me some purchase on which I can grab hold. As chaotic as I may be seen to be, I do plan. My plans are all the more insidious and successful for it. Next right, then left.”

I should add something I have been leaving out for the most part: Discord’s tone. Discord’s tone shifted with every sentence he spoke, from giddy to seething, with no real rhyme or rhythm. And whatever feeling he expressed, I felt. That’s why it never occurred to me to strike back, to save this world by taking out its tormenter, even at the cost of my own life. Besides, he was right—I was a coward. All talk, no action.

“Alright, alright,” I said, in the tone of mild annoyance that was the best I could summon against my master. I mulled potential approaches in my mind for fulfilling the task I was being given, before finally settling on the best, and the most sadistic approach. Because if I couldn’t hurt Discord, I could as sure as hell put the hooks into her. “Doubt, then,” I concluded. “Yes, I think that could definitely work to our advantage. I know I’ve fought down more than my fair share of it over the past couple of days. Now I just need to infect her. Yes, I think that could work quite nicely.”

“Doubt can work just fine,” Discord said, allowing just a trace amount of respect into his voice. “Get a little rest, try to calm yourself and prepare for the session. She isn’t going anywhere.” He laughed and vanished just as the warehouse complex came into the view through the veil of rain.

The silence of his absence pressed into me like being dunked into cold water. My last chance to save the world by killing Discord...gone.

Once again, I had failed. Knowing this, I could do little more than clench and unclench the hand that held Discord’s mark.

Comments

[ferret]

The poor man.

[McPoodle]

4121478

Quote from Chapter 12:

I am here because I murdered Fluttershy.

Quote from ferret after reading Chapter 12:

The poor man.

Quote from my brain on reading ferret's comment, especially the emote:

It appears that my attempt to portray Dr. Franklin's madness has succeeded in driving a few of you off the brink of sanity yourselves!

(Seriously, though, this is really gratifying--I was afraid I was alienating too many of you with how weird the narration was getting.)

[Andreno]

4126294

Rest assured, I don't have a clue what is going on...
Next chapter!