Egghead Tales

by RazedRainbow

Friendship Letter #70

Dear Princess Celestia,

This is going to be a long one.

As you know, Hearts and Hooves Day was this past Saturday. Now, I’ve expressed how much I detest this holiday many times in the past; I believe I even wrote a very vehement letter speaking out against it last year. My problem with Hearts and Hooves Day, or at least the celebrations surrounding it, is that too many ponies are completely unaware of the history and meaning behind it. To most, it’s an occasion covered in scented candles which are fueled by mounds of candy and gooey poetry. If they knew the truth behind the holiday, then they surely would not be celebrating: Who in their right mind would celebrate the collapse of their kingdom? I guess that’s why heart-shaped chocolates leave such a bitter taste in my mouth; nopony seems to truly appreciate history anymore.

However, this year something did change. For the first time in my life, I opened myself up to the more “materialistic” side of things, and found myself actually taking part in certain...festivities.

Oh, Princess...I’ve never felt so content with capitulation

---

My plan for Hearts and Hooves Day was to read through the same book I do every year, The Truth Behind Hearts and Hooves Day, and lecture anypony within earshot about the forgotten meaning behind the holiday. Unfortunately for me, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo all seemed to be “interested” in the book, so I let them borrow my one copy. I thought that they would get to the end of the introduction, get bored and return the book to me. However, as of the writing of this report, the book has not yet been returned: It has been five days and I’m getting worried that it’s destroyed; rotting under a tree in Sweet Apple Acres.

Anyway, this unforeseen complication left me with nothing to do except brood around the library. Spike managed to somehow get Rarity to agree to go on a “date” with him, so I was left alone with my books and my thoughts. Normally, I would be fine with this, but over the past few months (Now that I think about it, it’s been over a year since I came here! Wow!) I’ve found it increasingly difficult to fully immerse myself into a story. I still love reading, but my mind tends to wander in the wakes, causing my consciouses to float from the story’s grasp and get stuck in more mundane topics: Like games, food, parties...

Love...

There’s that cursed four-letter word. Forgive me for inserting such a vulgar topic into my letters, Princess, but for reasons unknown, the word “love” was ricocheting around my skull a lot on Hearts and Hooves Day. Maybe it was a premonition, maybe it was the atmosphere getting to me... I don’t know for sure. However, I’m leaning towards the former of the two, because the word was still floating around my mind when she trotted in.

A while back, I made the mistake of introducing Rainbow Dash to the “joys of reading”. At the time, it was just something to keep her mind occupied while she was cooped up in the hospital. However, I didn’t expect her to embrace the art with the tenacity that she has: Everyday, she’s in the library, reading (and in some cases, rereading) books in the Daring Do series or looking for some new adventure to delve into. I’ve tried to get her to check out non-fiction, but, aside from reading through the occasional Wonderbolts biography, she seems to be content with loud, over-the-top adventures. Despite my selfish wishes that she broadens her literary horizons, I’m more than happy with her company; we never really spent much time together before she broke her wing, but now I almost wish that she would break it again. Okay, maybe that’s going too far, but still...

I guess I’m starting to enjoy her company too much.

Forgive me, I’m straying off subject again.

So, Rainbow shows up at the library and barges her way in; seemingly unaware of the large “closed” sign that I had hung in the window. Normally, I would have lectured her and kicked her out for ignoring the literal warning signs, but on that day I felt like I needed the company. I stayed at the desk, sulking and acting like I was reading one of the miscellaneous books I always have strewn over my desk, while Dash went to her usual spot on the stairs, flopped down in a likely-uncomfortable position and began to read Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone for the second time in a week. I let her read for a good half-hour before I decided to interrupt her.

“What are you doing here, Rainbow?”

“Reading.”

“It’s Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“So?”

“Don’t you have anything planned?”

“Sure I do.”

“What is it?”

“Reading.”

I’ve slammed my face into many books over the years, but this was the hardest contact I’ve ever made.

“Are you kidding me, Rainbow?”

“And what plans do you have, Twilight? A date with Staliongrad’s most sweeping tales of romance?”

She got me there; I didn’t have any plans. Still, at least I have the excuse of being Ponyville’s resident “egghead”: No stallions or mares are going to bust down doors to get to me. Rainbow, however, is a world-class athlete: If she wanted to go on a date, she would have to throw a lottery, because every single pony from Ponyville to Fillydelphia would be lining up to get a piece of her. The key word there is “if”. That’s what I’ve always admired about Rainbow: She never shackles herself to any facets. Sure, she has some preconceptions, like with the whole “reading” thing, but even then she eventually gave it a shot. That’s what I love about her: She does what she wants, when she wants to.

There’s that word again... love.

Anyway, I told her that I didn’t have any plans and things returned back to their usual, tranquil state. This silence lasted fifteen minutes before Rainbow spoke up again.

“Hey, Twilight! It’s getting kinda late. Ya wanna grab a bite to eat?”

The pause lasted epochs. My mind was petrified. I stuttered out something about it being Hearts and Hooves Day, saying that there were going to be no available tables anywhere: Rainbow just chuckled at my behavior.

“There are plenty of places that have empty tables on Hearts and Hooves Day. You just gotta know where to look.”

Then, without even asking me again, she rose from the stairs and walked towards the door. I stumbled in her wake, vexed at my stubborn hooves: My brain was screaming at me to stay put, but my heart was whispering to follow.

I’m glad I listened to my heart for once.

---

This letter has gone on longer than usual. I apologize

Rainbow and I went to one of street cafes that are littered around the aptly named “Restaurant District”. It wasn’t anyplace fancy (I can’t even remember the name of it) and the food was terrible, but that was what made it perfect. It was a place where we could talk and eat, away from the mushy soliloquies and flickering candles. It was... I guess “nice” would be the proper word. After we finished our food (and after Rainbow quit yelling at the waiter about his “lousy service”: Her words, not mine) we made our way back to the library. It was getting late and I was half-asleep at the time, but I remember how everything seemed slightly more radiant. It could have just been the fact that it was a full moon, but at the same time I can’t help but wonder if it was my brain sending a signal: Begging me to invite her inside. Instead, we just stood in the doorway, doused in awkward silence. Finally, I spoke up, and what I said... well, let me just write it down for you, word for word.

“Thanks for this, Rainbow. This was a really nice date.”

I actually said date... I’m such an idiot.

To Rainbow’s credit, she didn’t even seem to notice my slip-up. She said her goodbyes and flew back to her cloud-house: I went up to my room and let insomnia take over.

It’s been eating me up, Princess: Using the term “date”. Was it really a date? I personally believe it was. I mean, you can have dates that are strictly non-romantic, right?

Right?

But, at the same time, was it non-romantic? In the recesses of my mind, I kind of hope that it was romantic. I hope that the feelings I felt when we were eating were feelings of love and not just food poisoning. I... I don’t even know, Princess. I’ve completely lost track of everything.

I want to go up to Rainbow and ask her to go with me to dinner again: Repetition is the best way to prove or disprove a hypothesis, and what better way to find the answer for “love” than with a second date? Then I would know how everything fits into place. Then I would know if I really do... love Rainbow.

It still feels weird writing down that word, Princess. Now that I mention it, it feels weird writing this letter. These letters are meant to be about “lessons”: They’re not supposed to be my own personal diary, and yet I’m using them as if they were one.

So, that’s how I spent my Hearts and Hooves Day, and the week after: Stuck in an existential crisis. I may go and ask Rainbow about...”going out”, but, honestly, my nerves are probably going to get the best of me. Considering the matter at hoof, this letter will likely end up being either the prelude to disaster or the prologue to something grand. I’m hoping for the latter.

Sorry about the long-windedness, Princess. I have a lot on my mind right now.

Your faithful student,

-Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Lt_Voss]

Wow... you've pretty much summed up the process of loving someone/pony. Do I love her/him? Should I love her/him? Is that love returned? Why might I love her/him? Why would she/he love me?

Those questions run through my mind every time I see a potential person to be with my hopeless romantic being.

[DemonRykuKyuubi]

Very well written, and I like this pairing. So far, so good. Keep up the good work.

[Newname234567896532]

"I guess “nice” would be the proper verb."
adjective maybe?

[Frizzy]

Interesting fact: Valentine's Day is based on a Roman holiday known as the Feast of Lupercal, which is held February 15th (not 14th). It celebrates Pan, God of Fertility. He takes the form of a faun (half man, half goat). On this day, infertile women are fit with goat skins, in hopes that Pan will bless them with fertility. The first act of William Shakespeare's play "Julius Caesar" takes during this festival, and Caesar hopes that his wife will be hit with the skin to make her fertile.

[Frizzy]

Interesting fact: Valentine's Day is based on a Roman holiday known as the Feast of Lupercal, which is held February 15th (not 14th). It celebrates Pan, God of Fertility. He takes the form of a faun (half man, half goat). On this day, infertile women are fit with goat skins, in hopes that Pan will bless them with fertility. The first act of William Shakespeare's play "Julius Caesar" takes during this festival, and Caesar hopes that his wife will be hit with the skin to make her fertile.

[nemryn]

242241
I'd go with just 'term' or 'word'.