• Member Since 15th Jul, 2013
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Slip into a world where the air I breathe is mine, nothing to overwhelm me and nothing to cloud my mind, come with me into it and you know what you will find, time doesn't exist here~


The erogenous 3rd edition. It's 30 percent longer, 300 percent better edited, 3000 percent more ethically dubious, and still narrated by Steven Fry.

It's that special time of the month again for the Elements of Harmony; the time when they get together for a Truth or Dare game of a more questionably pure nature. From long kept secrets, to reflecting on parties they can barely remember, their three years of friendship have changed them. For better or worse, they were still deciding on that.

This game will be different. Most likely for the worse, but that's what drinking before the sun sets can do. Or maybe them being hornier than usual. Or secretly planning each others sex lives. Or falling in love with each other. Or all four. Most likely all four.

Twilight wants to go out on her first date, but will alcohol and the raunchy advice of her friends help? Rainbow badly wishes to sedate her loins, or maybe she's looking for something more? What exactly, is Rarity planning for this night? Should they really add weed to the equation?

The Elements all have desires they haven't quite realized they have had, and a day long exchange of sex jokes and tension might lead to events that are out of their control. It was in their control once.

Our innocent little ponies seem to have sucked in too much Seth Rogen, but that's okay.


It's Archer with ponies.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 1166 )

Twilight seriously needs to keep better track of those playmare magazines. She's ruining Spike's innocence. :twilightoops:

And of course it's intresting that she's the one who thinks she's fat, you think that's something that Rarity would say. :duck:

oh the antics and possibilities mabe you should make a alternate chapter for each cannon chapter you write

"It's not like it's anything compared to what Rainbow or Applejack say," Spike mumbled, walking to the kitchen with a dismissive wave of his claws. "I just want to be like those colts in the Playmare's you have under your bed. And why do you put them there? They smell funny and are kind of ripped."

I'm sure some would think Spike is saying this in naivety,but I like to think this is a, try to embarrass me in front of Rarity, revenge comment.

Very amusing, and I love how Rarity and Spike seem to be playing at each other. It's a lot like the show, but more mature, as there age upgrade should make it. Come on, Sparity!

2883160 Considering Spike's comments, jokes, how he used his sarcasm, and that sentence Twilight didn't finish that appeared like it was going to be that he wasn't that young, (he's only a few years younger than Twi after all) I think Spike's innocence has long since run it's course.

2883417 He really is. He didn't even hold back, and he used some cheap shots at the perfect time.

- Yeah, very laughter. Please, chapter two, now.

And to think folks, the vulgarities only get much, much worse. Take our favorite cyanasus with the chromatic mane. Now give her a few albums of Offspring, and maybe a pinch of Disturbed. Now take her fluffy G approved personality... and go R rated.

Rainbow Dash is not approved for children. Strong language, sexual themes and violence may be disturbing imagery for younger audiences. Have you all ever noticed the Rainbow Dash background on this site sorta has a half 'I'm stalking you' Rainbow face? If vulgar language offends you, turn back next chapter. But then again when did alcohol ever turn someone into a sweet little angel?

2883286 Already done. I'm doing it Game of Thrones style. Every chapter rotates the mane cast - and a pinch of the oh so not unbiased narrator. Doesn't mean solo, but it means you'll get two-three thousand words with a bit of their head, depending on how much is going on.

2883379 I'm playing the cast at around 20ish, and would put Spike at this point at 12-13. I was an ass at that age too. I always was.

aww man now i'm really hoping spike gets some love.

2884664 I can't breathe... I can't... breathe!

2884492 Where do people get 7 to 8 years or even more for their age difference? Twilight was entering Celestia's School for Gifted unicorns which has a magic kindergarten and considering Twilight's adeptness at magic, I'd say that's where she started at 4-6, and A.J. tells the CMC she was younger than them when she got her Cutie Mark. 9-10 year olds don't act like Spike does on the show, and you're definitely playing him closer to a 14-17 personality level here.

P.S. I know 20+ year old guys that can be bribed with ice cream. :duck:

2884734 True that brother. Does it matter? I guess you could say I'm writing this as post Season 3 minus the finale and R rated. Why? Why not.

Exactly. I see them all within two years of each other, with Twilight being the youngest.

It's a good thing it's eighteen is the legal drinking age. Or not.

Nor do I go with them using real horse years. That's silly.

Ah! I've been looking forward to this! Glad to see that your story is getting the attention it deserves in such a short amount of time! Can't wait to see more of the chapters get put up, and the popularity shoot through the roof!

Glad so many others approve of your awesome writing style. It has me totally hooked.

2884867 Depends on the country, Germany's 16 and most of Canada is 18 and a lot of Europe is 18.

I bring it up because Spike is a character tag, which if this is all there's going to be on Spike he shouldn't be. On the assumption he's going to be talked about at the bar, making the tag correct, I'd like to not see him side-stepped as a child. You got this great teenage dialogue for him, he's getting to Rarity and making her turn just the most becoming shade of red, Twilight wants his opinion of her flank, and he's staying up late at night to watch the library and most likely most of the morning as Twi get's over her hangover, so I'd really rather not see this line, "Spike's too young to- understand, date, help, etc." I mean, sure too young to drink, but that's completely different than being treated as a child.

Plus, almost every commenter is a Spike person so far :raritywink:

2884944 Tis only Chapter One! Just like the Romance isn't in yet. It will come my friend~

2884983 Indeed, but when you see him as being 12-13 in the story, reasons to worry from past experiences are high. Because seriously, you have a great lead in here. I would just really like to not see what happened near the end of Light, Camera... where Spike goes from having a number of great scenes surrounding him and Rarity for it to end with, "You're just too young for me."

There's still a dent in my desk from where my head hit...

2885003 I don't really want to say too much, because you know, I don't want too, but rest assured he will be more than making a return soon enough. For now, the Mane Six, and why they are absolutely horrible to each other. A Band of Sisters, charging into battle through the drudgery of getting on each others nerves.

I have many surprises up my shelve. And thank you for being so active! For now, back to writing. I have all day free. Heheheheh...

Hah! This was a great chapter. Everypony's interactions were perfect. It was all familiar to what you'd showed me before up until the scene added Pinkie and AJ, that stuff was just awesome. Keep up the good work, Key!

These slightly more (or is it less?) mature versions of the Main Six are really interesting! Pinkie's skirting the fourth wall a little more than usual, but overall I'm liking this.

2885026 Well, that was indeed amusing, and good to hear.

Rainbow Dash has a crush on Shining Armor, a stallion who's married to Princess Cadence, who's also Twilight's BBBFF? Hell is going to freeze like never before.

Really fun fic so far. They do really act like young adults without going ooc. Can't wait to see what follows.

Please be aware that I only nit-pick the stories that I enjoy. :twilightsmile:


mythical chemical

So it doesn't actually exist? I think you might mean mystical.

she poured her thick drought of chai

There's no water in that chai? No wonder it's thick! I think you mean draught.

"Am I fat Rarity?" Twilight asked.

No, you're Twilight. Should be "Am I fat, Rarity?"

Now, onward to the next chapter I go!

Oh, oh my Twilight you naughty little mare you:twilightsheepish:. Love it so far and I can't wait to see what's next.

Yours Truly Thecakedevil.

Rainbow's starting to sound like a friend of mine. Don't ask for any other details (unnecessary though they may be), just know that she's had a lot of experience and is looking for a break from it.

2888682 I mean't mythical indeed. Because far back in the ages of yore there was Charlie Mopps, and he did wonderful things.

He might have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king~

I did mean draught!

Doh, missed comma!

And plothole retentive attention is welcome! I try to read everything I write about 5-10 times before I consider it final draft worthy. Anyone who can't handle their own work being torn apart logically needs to stop writing.

Oh, dear, not that thing. Anyway, I sometimes think that plothole shouldn't be used anywhere ponyfic, considering it's possible connotation. It's worse when there is a hole in the plot of a story....

Post them.

Do eeet. I dare you.

Jesus Christ...Rainbow Dash has issues...:rainbowlaugh:

This is hilarious! I absolutely CANNOT get enough of this story :rainbowlaugh:

You have earned a favorite and upvote!

Wha...bwaaah...this is...I dont...Awesome!

Id give a thumbs up right now but its sitting at :moustache: 69 up and I just cant bring myself to change that. Favorited

Calamari is squid, PONIES ARE EATING ANIMALS!!!!!!

"Look, can we get moving?” Rainbow scowled. She pulled herself up into the air with a loud crack of her back. “Sheesh it's like half of Equestria is out for me. Did I crap on someone's cloud or something?" I couldn't stop lauging :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

The next two chapters are horrible and unethical? By all means, let's have 'em.

This is a superbly written, hilarious story. My only complaint is that, occasionally, you seem to be writing the ponies as humans. It's an easy lapse to make, but it can hurt your otherwise great story.

If it's drinkable alcohol, shouldn't it be Ethyl, Equines, and Estrogen? Ethanol is a fuel I thought.:eeyup:

Edit: Just looked it up, apparently ethanol is also referred to as ethyl (but is still used as a fuel, so it's both). My bad.

2888890 like I would spoil that; that's part of the mystery. It's the best part of waking up, sexual exploration and oh shit I clopped who!? in your cup.

2889479 It's squid! Is it my fault it's delicious and nutritious? I take a nod from several other stories in that Pegasi' can digest seafood.

2889619 How so? They aren't anthro in the least. But if you are thinking what I am thinking of, that's the point. I'm taking them up to a real life, twenty year old, oh-my-god-can-you-see-the-balls-on-him mentally. Sure, they all are naked and don't go insane, but come on, just because they are used to it, doesn't mean that Shining Armor doesn't get whistles from the ladies. Or colts. He has my whistles damn it! His voice~

2889708 Yeah I thought of that, but then why would Pinkie and Applejack be going to eat it too?


....oh shit I clopped who!?

oddly enough, that's never happened to me........because I have never gone to a crazy sexy party.


Great first chapter. Loved the characterization, though the writing was a little rough. Only one nit I felt the need to pick.

Spike slowly grinned in a personal victory of sarcasm, only to fall back as Rarity leered at him.

[Inigo Montoya]I don' think that means what you think it means[/Inigo Montoya]

I suspect you meant glared, unless the fic is going in a different direction than I thought regarding Spike and Rarity.

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