• Published 16th Jul 2013
  • 10,184 Views, 1,161 Comments

Ethanol, Elements, and Estrogen - KiltedKey



What happens when you Seth Rogen the Mane Six, give them alcohol, weed, make them randy, and love struck? Have Rainbow wanting a lover, Twilight to lose her virginity, Rarity plan the personal lives of everyone, and nearly no moral compass? This.

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Chapter Seven: Chromatic Confessions And Orange Orders

"I just can't do it, AJ."

One thing was for sure: After what Rarity did, it was time for some early drinks.

There was still plenty of time in the day to do what Rarity had planned, but for the afternoon Applejack and Rainbow needed to process exactly what was going to happen that night. Rarity's force of will stunned all of them.

Today was truly a very different day. The ups and downs had begun to drain both of them, and the solution was simple: Mead.

What better drink to have with a best friend to wind down and simply enjoy the moment? Applejack and Rainbow trusted each other to the death, despite their exterior grudges. Only the fellow Elements of Harmony knew how they really ticked. And even then, not quite.

They had returned to the Apple Farm in order to give themselves a bit of a cool down. Even Applejack had to admit that what had happened was a lot to process, and it had clearly taken a hidden toll on Rainbow.

Both of the Elements laid on the hay behind the second floor barn door, sipping spiced and sweet Apple mead that oozed of succulent honey.

"What's nippin' at your wings, Rainbow?" Applejack said.

Dash shrugged softly, letting out a grunt as she sipped her drink. She didn't even realize that she was leaning into Applejack's side for support. Applejack didn't seem to mind, nor did she.

Applejack wrapped an arm around Rainbow's side, dragging her forehoof smoothly through her friend's thick coat. Alcohol, affection, and shade visibly mellowed out Rainbow, her magenta eyes looking into Applejack's with a relax glow.

"Come on now, ya really need to let what Tessie did to ya go. You barrel it all up, Dasha, and it's not good for ya. What ya looked like this morning ain't a mouse fart to a tornado compared to what ya look like now. Ya might not show it, but I can feel it, girl."

"It's... more than her," Dash said quietly. "But she's part of the problem. I suck that much at hiding when something's bugging me and I've reached a breaking point, don't I?" She flicked an ear at the revelation.

Applejack smiled, reaching her arm up to ruffle messily through Rainbow's chromatic mane. "Come on, girl, it's not like what Rarity wants us to do is anything weird. Hay, she musta said five times the new hairdos will be reasonable."

She took a firm chug of her own drink, resting her tail idly over Dash's cutie mark. "If even Fluttershy said she's bein' too kind I say run with it and see what happens. Shoot, we can always tease the crap out of her if it screws up."

Rainbow drank down the final drought of her mead, letting the stein of honey spiced apple liquor roll and melt on her tongue. That sweet alcohol only tugged on her heart even more.

Her eyes closed as she constructed the sentence in her head, barely having the strength to say it.

She had to.

"I... lied about Shining Armor. I have a crush on Twilight."

Applejack choked on her last sip of alcohol, grabbing her own throat to force the drink down. "General Patton sent the Shermans where!?"

Dash glared at Applejack, her reddish pink eyes a burning flame of emotion at Applejack's reaction. "I have a crush on Twilight. You don't have to be a friggin prick about it."

Her tail lashed behind herself, smacking on the wood and eventually on top of Applejack's back, causing her to wince. "And it's not just the 'roses are red, so are my eyes, I want my tongue between your thighs' kind of crush."

Applejack blinked rapidly in shock, awoken by Dash bopping her on the end of her muzzle. Rainbow sighed deeply, reeling in her temper.

"I want to date Twilight,” Rainbow continued, her cerise orbs tiredly looking into Applejack's own. “The kind of ‘me writing her love notes and whispering in her ear’ kind of date her. Because I... think I might love her. I like so much about her. She really balances me out, even when it doesn’t look like it. I get really... warm around her."

She rested her muzzle in her forehooves, staring off blankly into the distance. "I just don't know what to do."

A sharp resounding whistle escaped from Applejack's lips. "Well... that complicates things, and explains a bunch. We're all thinkin' Rarity just wanted you to mentor her or somethin' and was really tryin’ too hard. Way too hard. Hard to guide a mare when ya want her yourself. So you think she’s so forceful because she...?"

“Yeah. She really does want us to hook up." Rainbow snorted dryly. "She thinks I’m stupid, but I’m not. Sure, I didn't think she knew I had the hots for Twilight, but I've been in more relationships than Rares. You think I want to do a one night stand with Twi’ and just say it helped her? Maybe Rarity didn't think of that. Or how I'd feel about being her first."

Applejack sat up more firmly, squeezing Rainbow's side supportively. “So why did ya sound so... excited about helpin' her, if this ruffles your coat?”

“You think I’m gonna freaking burst everyone's bubble that I don’t feel right helping a mare I’d rather be with myself?" Rainbow nickered away the thought. "I want her first to be a lot better than mine. A lot better than me."

“So why don’t you wanna do what Rarity is suggestin’?" Applejack asked. "You got my approval if you're thinkin’ I’m not okay with it. You’d be good to her.”

Rainbow looked up at Applejack, and all Applejack saw was fear.

“Because I got issues from Tessie and Cloudsdale I don’t want coming out," Rainbow said. "And... and the last thing I want is to break down in front of her when she needs someone stable. Because while I'm here for you all in ten seconds flat, emotionally? I'm pretty screwed up when it comes to physical contact and trust issues, if you haven't noticed.” She chuckled meekly.

Applejack smiled. “I think this is an easy fix: Damn Tessie, and go with Twilight."

Dash's eyes went wide at the advice, her wings shooting up from her back in shock. "W-w-what?"

Applejack pat Dash gently on the head, stroking through her mane affectionately. "You heard me," she said. "Do I have to list it for ya, Rainbow? You're loyal, playful, would protect her with yer life, make her leave that damn tree house more, you're both sarcastic twits in different ways, she'll calm ya down a bit, and you'll make her relax too. I can say for certain that if there is anypony I know who would treasure her heart it's you, Rainbow. Even if nothin' happens in the long run you both will feel better gettin' all of these thoughts untangled."

She winked. "And shoot, if you think we all don't know about you and Pinkie, you're blind, Dasha."

Being caught with both Applejack's heart to heart advice and in knowing that a relationship she used to have that was supposed to be secret wasn't anymore locked up Rainbow's wings as if they were glued in place. "W-w-what are you talking about!?"

Applejack rolled over onto her back, cackling at catching her friend flustered. "Aww, come on, Rainbow, all four of us knew months ago ya two had a roll in the mud and decided it wasn't healthy for the long plow. I know ya two tried to keep it a secret, but... well... ya start to notice things. And Pinkie and ya aren't exactly the quiet types."

Dash gagged loudly, sticking out her tongue in disgust. "Holy shit, I like anal but I'm not that gross, eww! Although real mud sex-"

Applejack blinked rapidly at the unexpected comment, until raw horror filled her face in understanding. "Neighty Roosevelt’s mustache, I meant sex, not scat! Jeez, girl, you think in the gutter too much."

"Oh go fondle an ash plume, you're the one implying it!" Dash pushed her forehooves into Applejack's chest, only to receive a shove back in return. "Hey, quit it!" she chuckled. "I've got a life crisis going on here so stop being stupid! Although when you put it that way I am totally looking forward to you and Rares wrestling-hey!"

Rainbow let out a soft squeak as Applejack grabbed her, pulling her on top of Applejack's chest. She was unable to stop the light pink blush that etched itself across her blue muzzle.

"Then stop being cute," Applejack said, "and realize that I give sound advice most of the time."

"I'm only cute when you treat me like a pet," Dash replied, laying herself on top Applejack as if she were a cloud.

"Than why in Equestria are ya layin' down on top of me as if you're Winona, Dasha?" Applejack couldn't help but smile a bit sadistically, scratching her forehooves down her friend's sides.

"B-b-because it feels good and I need it? Ya know, stress relief?" Rainbow's frame wiggled itself into the forehooves half massaging her sides, sending a shiver down her spine. "You are the most molesting sister ever. Keeping the family history alive huh?"

"And you're not complainin' about it. You're such a switch in the sheets I bet," Applejack laughed, squeezing Rainbow to listening to the faint whinny of protest that escaped from her muzzle. She prodded Rainbow's muzzle with a forehoof. "Don't you make that sound at me, missy! I'm helpin' ya and givin' ya sound advice."

Rainbow scoffed her forehooves gently into Applejack's coat. "No comment on my positions on the clouds. And sound advice? I guess. Except when you fart, then it sounds like my mind is dying." Dash prodded at Applejack's hat.

Applejack swatted at Rainbow's hoof. "Comin' from the girl who's butthole I now get."

Rainbow's ears folded instantly at the comment, her posture slouching as she laid on top of Applejack.

"I look as bad as you say I do back there don’t I?" Rainbow whimpered. "I bet ponies make fun of it, don't they? That's what I get for trying new things." Her eyes watered faintly.

"Oh, Dasha, I'm just hounding ya," Applejack replied sweetly, scratching through Rainbow's sides once again. "As if I don't have 'Apple Anus Syndrome' as you like to call it." A repressed snort of laughter escaped from Dash's muzzle. "Ya see? Now it's funny isn't it?"

"Okay, I'm paranoid about my plothole," Dash replied, sticking out her tongue as she winked at Applejack. "And you look fine in the rear too, AJ. Never repeat that I said this, but... uhh... the black really compliments the orange down there. I-I-I said nothing, remember?"

"Why thank you, Rainbow Dash," Applejack blushed, her cheeks turning red and soon enough matched equally by Rainbow's. "I woke up this mornin' and I thought to myself, 'Ya know what I need? I need my crotch color complimented.'"

Both Applejack and Rainbow broke out into a gale of united hysteria, clinging to each other as tears began to form around their eyes, pounding the hay around them in glee.

"I... I don't think you've ever said something that funny and dry before," Rainbow cackled, letting out a drunken coo in sedated bliss. "Holy crap I think I just died a little, and it was an amazing death. So I'm just gonna lay down and use you as a cloud. And maybe suck the warmth out of ya, cause I'm a vampire in disguise like that," she winked.

Applejack stroked through Rainbow's mane once again, watching her relax quickly into the grooming. Whatever snide joke Rainbow was about to make melted the moment she was stroked.

"Ya like what ya like in the hay, Rainbow," Applejack said. "Pinkie and you are the best of friends, you're the most attractive girl I know, and damn it, you deserve Twilight. If ya need an ego boost now, Rainbow, than ya got the nicest rear end I know, and that's comin' from me. Just don't tell anypony I said that, or I swear to Celestia, I'm gonna get a rope and tie you to a fence with yer tail exposed on a windy day."

Rainbow rolled her eyes at the threat. "Sounds like you just wanna play with me. I'd play with me if I found me like that."

"Damn it, don't you turn my insult around on me," Applejack growled.

"Aww," Dash nickered, squeezing Applejack's cheeks, "is the yokel mad I'm smarter-stop... mmm... stroking me there."

Her tail swished contently behind herself as Applejack silently got her revenge, massaging Rainbow at the base of her neck. "Totally... cheating, you-mmm... bitch."

A shiver went down Applejack’s spine as Rainbow nuzzled into Applejack's stroking like a house cat. “Winchester’s barrels, Dash, why can you be so adorable that it makes me die a little on the inside? Why did ya ever tell me you like bein' pet on the head?”

“Because I was drunk on Neighgerbomb’s and needed somepony to cuddle into me that night?” Rainbow smiled brightly down at Applejack, flicking her tail up and down on the barn floor innocently. "And you did it. Sucker."

Applejack simply sighed, shaking her head with a soft smirk. “Speakin’ of that, why are ya so clingy after Tesla? And what happened with you ‘n Pinkie? Ya both can bounce everywhere and laugh at just about everythin'. You’re a tough girl; so why did that rocker mare break ya so hard?”

"Pinkie and I had a fling ‘n stuff,” Rainbow shrugged. “We learned a lot about pleasing each other. We just realized we don’t work in that way, and pulled back. No hard feelings though, and we’re the pals we say we are, honest! I learned stuff from her. Including... yeah," she nervously chuckled. "I just can't date Twilight, alright? Trust me on this. I'm gonna be clingy, and I need someone who can pull me back a bit. I need a pony who’s tougher and will toughen me up too."

Applejack tilted her muzzle to the side. "Ya think you'll really be that pushy, Rainbow?"

“Yeah,” Rainbow said. “I started having a crush on Twi’ about a year ago, and it really got big after Tessie and I broke up. And speaking of that, I’ll tell you why we really broke up."

She adjusted herself on top of Applejack, biting her bottom lip. "I didn't dump Tesla Coil because she was a bitch to me when she came back from her concerts. She dumped me because I wanted something more than just plot. I wanted... ya know... love 'n all.”

"I think that's sad, Dash, but that’s her-”

"She cheated on me multiple times," Rainbow whimpered, "and... and thought my 'awesomeness' just didn't fit with me wanting to maybe cuddle a bit and just be playful. Didn't even bother to say it until the end.”

Applejack shot up onto all four of her hooves with a furious neigh that sent Rainbow crawling onto her back in terror. "That worthless fuckin' cunt.

Dash was in awe of Applejack spitting out the one word that she would never say. The one would Rainbow would never utter out loud, no matter how hard she was pushed to the edge.

Or would she, if she were in Applejack's place? To know that her friend was being lied to, cheated on, and used as a sex toy when she wanted something more?

She most likely would.

Her wings laid limp beside her frame as she stared at the towering behemoth of farm labored muscle and feral rage that pulsated through Applejack's very core.

Applejack slammed a forehoof into the floorboards, completely shattering the board underneath her. Her emerald eyes gleamed venomous poison the likes of which that would have made Chrysalis cower.

“No skanky two bit metal headed shit stain thinks she can just toy with your heart and-”

Rainbow had never seen Applejack like this. Of the Elements of Harmony she and Applejack were the most vocal with their anger and vulgar language, but to see Applejack quivering in rage? She could see every vein and flexing muscle in Applejack's body begging to spring to action until it wore itself out.

“Where does she live?" Applejack said it so flatly it scared Rainbow that much more.

It took nearly all of Rainbow's willpower to simply open her mouth. “N-n-o-”

Rainbow saw the micromovements inside of her friend's legs and calves. Applejack was doing everything she could not to tackle her and milk the information by force.

“Dasha, tell me, so I can snap both of her wings and beat her to an inch of her life. Because nopony toys with the heart of my friends like that! I swear to Celestia, Rainbow, I’m not gonna regret hurtin’ her, and I mighty well enjoy it. You know damn well you’d be sayin’ the same thing if it was anyone of us.”

“This is what I’m talking about!” Rainbow cried. Her wings spread behind her as she pulled herself up into the air. “You think I want to put this on Twilight? That I want to carry this crap and dump it on her? I'm not gonna do it.”

“That... thing put you through this.”

“And I’m the one who hasn’t got over it yet. This is my crap, not yours. I've got enough of it from Flight School and Cloudsdale. You don’t have this nimbus on your shoulders, and you'd defend her like I would. You'd fight for her like that, but you don't have the stupid emo waves like I do."

Rainbow landed on the floor, her legs shaking at the rush of hormones flooding her system. She looked at Applejack solemnly, shaking her muzzle.

"Twilight doesn’t need my problems," Rainbow whispered. "She needs somepony who doesn’t have any, who doesn’t have a hurricane behind them. Like... you.”

As quickly as the tempest of fury roared over Applejack's form, it melted away in a wave of shock. “M-m-me?”

“Yeah. You.”

Rainbow pulled herself up to gently press her muzzle into Applejack's snout, letting a jet of steam exhale from her nose, dancing between their forms.

"AJ, Jackie, I like all of you. Love all of you.” She placed her forehoof on Applejack's lips to stop her from speaking. “I have for years. It comes with who I am... I guess. You’re my girls, my peps. Maybe that’s what comes with my Element. Twilight’s tough too, but she’s never... dealt with love like this. I can’t put this on her.”

Her wings twitched by the sides of her frame nervously. “Maybe if I got my crap in a cyclone and sent it away, but look at me; I charge into things, and I’d say something stupid that’d hurt her and break her heart when I didn’t mean it. I may be loyal ‘n loving and all, but I’m also sometimes stupid. Retarded really. She needs somepony who's stable, balanced, works hard, and will keep her calm when things go south. Somepony amazingly beautiful on the inside. Like... you.”

Applejack blushed profusely, swallowing down a ball of saliva down her throat. “P-P-please, Rainbow, ya makin’ me hyperventilate. I don’t think anypony has ever complimented me like that. I don’t know what ta-"

Rainbow didn't know what had consumed her to do it. Maybe it was the release of so many emotions pouring out of her at once. Maybe it was repressed love. Intimacy, need, stress, fear. All Rainbow knew, was that she went from fearing Applejack, to complimenting her, to praising her in the best way she could.

A kiss.

Rainbow's muzzle tilted to the side as her eyes closed, pressing her lips into Applejack's without realizing she had done it, nor any desire to stop.

Her forehooves reached up to caress Applejack's cheeks, holding her muzzle in place while the very tip of her tongue licked over Applejack's lips. The whole world shut down for Rainbow. It did for Applejack too.

Applejack was left speechless.

Aroused from her past anger, softened by the praise, and caught off guard by the mare who made her laugh at life and burn off stress had opened flood gates that she didn't know fully existed. There was so much repressed emotion bundled up inside of Rainbow, and it all came out in one kiss.

It was beautiful, sad, and heart warming all at the same time. Applejack thought of Rainbow as a sister, but at the current moment, with the ethanol and estrogen pumping through her system she pushed that mental boundary she had with Rainbow to the back of her mind.

Maybe, just maybe, Rainbow needed her right now more than anypony else. She needed someone to release all of those walls she had built up over her lifetime.

Applejack kissed back.

Both of their muzzles interlocked as Applejack raised up a forehoof to stroke affectionately through Rainbow's thick chest fluff. The faint crackles of their lips breaking apart and coming back together echoing in their ears. Their tongues teased each other's tips, putting nearly four years of friendship aside to take it one step farther. The faintest of gasps escaped from both of their muzzles, tasting each other's breath and saliva.

It was too much for Rainbow.

She broke the kiss suddenly, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks as she looked up at Applejack, her wings limp by the side of her frame.

"I can't do this to you," she sniffled, choking on her own words. "I can't drag you into me. I... I love you as a best friend. And..."

Applejack wrapped her forehooves around Rainbow's toned neck. "And maybe somethin' more," Applejack finished. Her own eyes teared up around their edges, her vibrant green eyes staring into the glowing sunset of Rainbow's.

"Rainbow. Stop it. Stop thinkin' of yourself as a pile of rhino crap, damn it. Ya think it doesn't hurt me seein' you tear yerself apart like this?"

Rainbow sniffled again, shaking her head.

"That's not what you should be thinkin'," Applejack said, "and I'm not gonna let you keep on thinkin' it. Look here. Look at me."

She lifted up Dash's muzzle. "I... oh buckin' hayseeds and bloody hay, Rainbow Dash, I think you just made me realize I need a piece of my heart filled too."

Applejack's ears folded by the side of her snout affectionately as she caressed through Rainbow's thick and colored mane, giving her a gentle peck on the lips once more.

"Listen to me, mare, and listen good. Yer older sister is gonna say somethin', and you're not gonna like it, but you're gonna have ta deal with it like ya do with muscle cramps, ya here?"

Dash nodded meekly.

"Good," Applejack said. "Listen. I-Traveler's bitter prostate juice I think I just solved half of our problems!"

Rainbow winced at the sudden shout in her ears. "How in Olympus do you come up with those sayings on the top of your head?”

“It’s a trait passed on from my daddie’s side-but that ain't important! Listen to this. You want me to date Twilight? Or be her first?”

“I’m not forcing ya too." Rainbow scoffed at the floor. "I’m just... just saying that I’ll most likely start crying if she isn’t with anypony other than you, because she deserves someone as awesome as you."

Applejack's blush wasn't leaving her muzzle anytime soon. She bit her bottom lip.

"Alright, I'm... oh, damn it, fine I'll give it a shot. She's as cute, kind, sweet and lovin' as you say she is."

Rainbow's wings spread in delight.

"But," Applejack said, pressing a forehoof to her friend's lips, "on two conditions."

"Name them," Rainbow said, determination glowing in her eyes. With the water that dotted them, they gleamed in the light bouncing off of the barn walls. "Because... I'm not ready for her, but you are. I know this is messed up, but-"

"Can it, cutie pie," Applejack chuckled. Rainbow squeaked quietly. "The first: Ya trust me with you're life, so trust me on that as silly as it sounds, there's a pony you don't know as well as you should who I think could work for ya. They live here in town, and I'm sure we can get them to get to know you better. It'd help everypony in town in the long run anyways."

Rainbow nodded. "Done. And the second?"

"That as much as it might scare the both of us that if Twi' 'n I just do our thing and what I suggest doesn't work out, but only if both happen, that... we give each other a shot, alright?"

"I can do that."

Applejack raised an eyebrow at the unexpected response Rainbow gave her. She flicked her tail to make sure she was still alive. "R-r-really? I thought you'd say no."

Rainbow closed her eyes, inhaling gently through her nose once more. "Because we'd both be happy we gave our ideas a shot. And well... that means you once again totally took crying-like-a-bitch Rainbow's problems and solved them all. The least I can do is give you something in return. And well..."

She scoffed at the ground once, averting her gaze as a gentle smile spread across her muzzle. "I'd... really enjoy that. You're my best pal, and I'm happy with you staying that way if what you think is gonna work works. But I'd go farther. Just to see what happens. Because I think we'd maybe work. Or... drive each other nuts."

"Stop thinkin' you need to go on a crusade just ta get my approval, Dasha." Applejack huffed, thudding her on the muzzle. "This just makes me that much more sure ya need the pony I'm suggestin'. Ya need a Mare-Do-Well every hour it seems."

Applejack shook her snout. "Ya silly little thing. Now you've got problems because yer're tryin’ to replace Tessie with Twi’, but Twilight is just too good for that hole, so you feel empty.”

Dash flicked an ear in silence. “W-w-wow. I never thought of it that way. It was right in front of me this whole time!”

“Sometimes the truth is right in front of ya." Applejack grinned, scratching affectionately at Rainbow's chest. "So you're afraid you’ll hurt her like Tes’ did to you.”

“Y-y-yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

“So ya don’t wanna damage what ya got with Twi’, so you keep it to you're chest cause you’d rather hurt yourself than risk even the tiniest chance of hurtin’ her.”

Rainbow pulled herself up to a hover with a flutter of her wings, her face beaming at the sudden revelation. “Holy crap yes! I felt that, but I never thought of that. I'm a complete idiot.”

Applejack folded her forehooves smugly, unable to keep a confident smile from spreading across her muzzle. “So what that means is ya want me to be there for her since ya trust me to treat her right.”

“Yeah!”

“And that both she ‘n I need a good bit of love ‘n work. I'll admit,” Applejack chuckled, "sometimes it feels like Twi' 'n I are the only sane mares around here sometimes. That is... when Twilight ain't insane herself. We can make sure we both keep each other in line."

“Exactly!” Rainbow's powerful wings flapped harder, raw excitement pulsating through her frame.

Applejack blushed, fanning herself with her hat. “And I have to admit, it’s been since my teen years since I committed to somethin’. You’ll be happy as long as Twi’s happy, ‘n that’ll fill what’s hurtin’ in your heart.”

“Hay yes!”

“And well... Twilight is kinda cute,” Applejack said, scoffing at the floor.

Rainbow nickered out a titter, failing at keeping the sound from escaping from her muzzle. “Duh. You've seen her nerd rage, it's adorkable!

“And she's a very capable leader." Applejack prodded Rainbow's toned stomach. "And I could keep her calm when y’all tick her off. And she could keep me from snappin’ a twig when the goin' gets tough.”

“That’s been my point this whole time!” Rainbow beamed, twirling through the air.

Applejack could not stop smiling at seeing Rainbow's gleeful grinning in front of her. To see Rainbow's joy and excitement was as infectious as Pinkie Pie's at times. To see her releasing all of those barriers she had built up over the years come crashing down.

She couldn't help but laugh herself. “Ya know, I have to admit, throwin' a wrench in Rarity’s plan in a funny way would be kinda funny. She'd never think it'd be from us, and that'd make it that much more... uhh... epic', as ya'd say.”

“Oh my gosh it would be stupidly funny," Rainbow said, "and are you kidding me, Rarity would gush over you two being a couple!”

Rainbow's wings were flapping loudly with her joy. She could even feel a squee begging to escape from her lips. It was an uncool sound coming from her, but the growing anticipation was making her bounce in the air.

Applejack reached up to poke Rainbow on the nose. “So speakin' of that, I know just the pony who can handle ya mighty fine when I think about it.”

Crossing a forehoof to scoop up her hat, Applejack placed it on top of Rainbow’s head. “By my hat I do.”

“Tell me!” Rainbow pressed her forehooves into Applejack's chest, the squee held in Rainbow’s throat coming out with a childish grin. “By Soarin’s hot plot tell me!”

“They’ve got enough experience to handle ya, can lend an ear, match yer wit, deal with yer energy, calm ya down, pull ya back, be gushy like ya like, deal with yer problems, and could grow a lot from you makin’ them lighten up and stop workin’ themselves to death.”

“You... are... killing me! Please!” Rainbow Dash stuck out her bottom lip, her eyes large, begging for mercy from the verbal agony she was forced to endure.

“That pony,” Applejack said, a smug grin spreading over her lips.

“Yes?”

“Is Rarity.”

All that was heard from Rainbow’s muzzle was a starved faint gasp; as if she was choking on the quietest hiccup.

Author's Note:

The lack of internal dialogue was done on purpose. Carry on reader~

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