• Published 16th Jul 2013
  • 10,188 Views, 1,161 Comments

Ethanol, Elements, and Estrogen - KiltedKey



What happens when you Seth Rogen the Mane Six, give them alcohol, weed, make them randy, and love struck? Have Rainbow wanting a lover, Twilight to lose her virginity, Rarity plan the personal lives of everyone, and nearly no moral compass? This.

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Chapter Eleven: Truth Or Dare With A Change Of Hair

It was all coming into place for Rarity.

Hopefully.

The day had gone more awry than was usual for the Elements of Harmony, and the stress was nipping at Rarity's hooves to the point it felt like she was standing on hot coals. That sort of thing tended to happen when one spent a thousand bits.

That thought alone scared her. She had not spent that much money on any one thing not related to her business since the Gala more then two years ago. Except this time, it was raw cash instead of goods. It only made the thought that much more hellish. An item was an item. A debit card was a debit card. She had decided to purposely torture herself by using platinum bits, and on reflection she could not remember why she had decided to torture herself so.

It was a good thing she could repress and compact such thoughts as once in a lifetime purchases. It also happened to help that Twilight would thank her for eternity for finding her first playmate. And perhaps, permanent marefriend, if everything went according to Rarity's plan.

At least... the improvised plan of genius that Rarity was so fabulous at making.

One must always compliment themselves during strokes of genius, and Rarity Gemma, you should be damn proud of what you have done tonight! Soon, everything will trot into place.

The six Elements had gathered at Lotus and Aloe's Spa as the sun began its long curve over the horizon, all of them mentally preparing themselves for whatever fashion bomb Rarity was surely keen on dropping on top of them.

What they didn't expect was it to be so... mild.

Rarity, truly meaning what she had said about the changes to their manes and tails being mild? No hidden context? Good, let them think that, Rarity hummed inside of her head. Let them think that indeed.

There was much to do, and so little time to do it. Her friends did not know how much she had in stock for them for now and for later. She'd be lying to herself if she wasn't scared herself in how exactly everything would fall into place, but perhaps that too was part of the adventure and mystery of it all. There were so many variables, and not all of them were within her control.

Perhaps Rainbow Dash is right in some weird way, she thought. The unknown, as Twilight would say.

The plan was left in the hooves of her friends and her own silver tongue pulling them along toward the path she wanted them to take. It was a plan that spoke of a mad cocktail of what Rainbow and Twilight would come up with in some twisted, dark world. Hopefully, Rarity could control it.

Hopefully.

There was no thick mud bath or fancy steam therapy or sensual massages waiting for them; they would need all of the energy that those would have sucked out of them for later. Other than Applejack beginning their treatment with a bottle of hard cider for each of them, it started out simple enough with a firm shampooing and conditioning of their coats to bring out the most that they had to offer naturally without going formal. If it only lasted for a day it was enough that Rarity thought it was worth it, and it satisfied an obsessive side of her personality that wanted the grooming to be from mane to hoof.

The Elements' manes and tails were being tirelessly preened by a dozen ponies, their hair underneath silver domes that soaped and shaped them to Rarity's delight. That was the most important part of the process, as a mane and tail could be the accent that caught ponies' eyes. Eye catching was the goal of tonight, and Rarity knew that she could help them all stand out even more than they already did.

They chatted casually as they were being groomed, the alcohol that they had consumed earlier - although that was currently a state secret - and the current bottles of Angry Apple Cider in their hooves making the affair more peaceful. They had all needed it, and they would be lying to themselves if alcohol did not relax them, or keep them all functioning in general.

It was time for Rarity to begin the Game. Truth, or Dare. With a bit of alcohol flowing and relaxation on their minds it was surely going to be a game of the ages.

What better time to start then in the middle of a makeover? She wanted to throw them off guard. Make them have to think about her intentions. Let them think I have something planned that I don't.

"You know," Twilight said, "Rarity, I never thought that you would be true to not going overboard, not that I... think you are a liar or anything." She clopped her forehooves together nervously in that adorable manner that she did.

Twilight's words pulled Rarity away from her mental conversation, Twilight's sweet voice breaking Rarity's trail of thought. Oh I hope to one day have a foal like her, her mind randomly commented.

She sighed at the thought of a foal with Twilight's voice, intellect, cunning, beauty, and sweetness. That is, if I can stand the little bastard. Bloody screaming in your ears and ruining your sleep. Diapers, maintenance, the stress. Even Twilight was like that once.

Rarity had enough experiences with childish nobles for a lifetime and didn't need a screaming foal that had ruined her posterior by coming out of her. They are adorable when they aren't your own, though. Most of the time. Love you, Sweetie Belle.

"I just think it's time that after over three years of our hair styles being static to try something new." Rarity looked over at Twilight with endearment, giving her a playful wink. "Besides, it will keep to who we are as ponies." She waved a forehoof toward Rainbow. "And come now, I think Rainbow Dash is foaming at the gums to see me mud wrestle Applejack."

She glanced toward Rainbow, rolling her eyes at the glowing smile that spread across Rainbow's muzzle and the lifted eyebrow that Applejack gave Rainbow in return. Rarity was unsure if Rainbow would enjoy the wrestling for innocent or not innocent reasons. Both, most likely. "Please be a dear and realize extensive monetary expenses and dirty mud wrestling aren't things I normally enjoy. Trust me. I'm not a shopaholic, and as much fun as I had running with my sister there is only so much dirty I can do before I have a seizure."

"Uhh, duh?" Rainbow said, her forehooves curled toward her chest. The manure eating grin across her snout was legendary. "Who doesn't find mud wrestling stupidly hot? And I kind of get off to seeing you squirm in agony, Rares. I don't hate you or anything, but your flailing is the greatest flailing ever."

Rarity winced at the jab that Rainbow threw her way, taking a sip of her cider in compensation. Drinking such a basic - and yet delicious - drink during her pampering felt fashionably wrong, but it wasn't her fault Applejack made such good cider.

"Seriously, this deep mane massage is... mmm. It should be banned for how good it feels." Rainbow sighed in a peaceful manner that few of her friends had ever heard before. She faintly shivered at the Earth mare rubbing her scalp and snout, clearly on her own cloud nine.

Rarity waved a forehoof casually at Rainbow. '"Yes, yes, Rainbow, you enjoy musky mares and make me contemplate sending a needle inside of you. Lovely, lovely, lovely. I do think it's time we begin our little fun now though, no?"

Her friends turned their heads to look at her in bemusement.

"Anything we can't do now we do when our manes are done, and when we are out of the manes of our wonderful hostesses and their employees' talented hooves." Rarity smiled softly. "Let's just keep it... 'relatively' civil."

"Rarity has a point," Pinkie said, stroking her chin with a forehoof. "Today has been weird, even for us. So why not do extra stuff early? I like this idea!"

"Besides, if it gets too intense for us I brought my best batch of cannabis from Amstabledam," Fluttershy hummed happily, clopping her hooves together. "If Rarity is being so nice, I can be too!"

She unstrapped a small clip-on box from behind her left wing, resting it on her stomach. Her aqua eyes gleamed in excitement, as if she were Twilight about to talk about a new theory that was sending a shock wave through the scientific world.

"This batch was grown by the royal family, and I had to have it imported, including the soil." She tittered in rapid excitement, blushing at the energy flowing through her body. "I haven't even tried it yet. I've heard it might be the best in all of Ungulia. Very expensive too, but for my friends, I can't think of any way I'd rather use it."

"Nice!" Rainbow squeed. She was setting a current record for the amount of squees she had done in a month in a single day. "Fluttershy, you have the best weed in Equestria. Why didn't I think that you wouldn't bring some today? Oh my gosh, tonight is going to be killer!"

Twilight croaked, choking on a ball of alcohol in her throat that didn't exist. "Fluttershy, are you insane? You are in a public building. We could get arrested, or worse!"

"I... don't think we've been arrested for any of the stuff we've done," Applejack said. "And we've done a lot."

"Yes, Twilight," Rarity said, "we've saved the world four times and you're the Princess' pupil. And don't forget we all know her on a first name basis. Therefore she's going to arrest you and disown you for smoking marijuana like most university aged ponies do."

She leaned toward Twilight, covering her muzzle with a disgusted gasp. "Woe to you for betraying her trust like that. Almost ruining her niece's wedding? A scolding. But getting high? The nerve of you, mare."

"But-"

Twilight's friends collectively stared at her as she tried to make a counter argument, their eyes turning into lithe slits at Twilight fumbling for words. The only result was her letting out a deep, loud groan in defeat.

Fluttershy opened the box gently. "Would you like some now, Twilight? I think you could use some. If the hair massages aren't working this might do it for you."

"I told her earlier she needed to calm the hay down, but she didn't listen to me." Rainbow said, sticking out her tongue with a wink.

It was impossible for Rarity not to notice the wink. Oh? Did the two have some early dippings? Rarity pondered. No. Twilight would be high already from what I've heard Rainbow is capable of. Perhaps...

"Yeah, Twi'," Applejack said, patting Twilight's stomach gently. "Now I don't normally suggest this, but... you might need an early hit of reefer." She shook her muzzle. "I can't believe I just said that, but sometimes... weird things happen in Ponyville. Even from me."

"I do not!" Twilight growled softly, her eyes scanning around the room. "And don't pat my stomach, Applejack. I don't need any more reinforcement of how fat I am."

Rarity and Pinkie Pie sighed loudly. "Here we go again," they said in unison.

"I am fat." Twilight cried, pointing to her soft stomach. "Just look at me!"

"We talked about this already, Twilight," Pinkie said flatly, suckling on her hard cider. "You aren't fat. And if you are that worried about it, we'll help you. Right, Rainbow?"

"Sure, sure," Rainbow rumbled, waving a wing dismissively at the comment, "but Twi' looks hot to me." Rainbow grinned. "I've always been a fan of husky mares though, so I'm kinda bias and all. And come on, you're adorkable. Now all you need is a ponytail, and some glasses, and-"

Twilight growled like a feral dog at Rainbow, which only caused her to cackle loudly at Twilight's anger.

Rarity could not stop herself from grinning. It seems I was right after all. They have wonderful chemistry with each other, even if Twilight denies it. Wonderful... chaotic... chemistry.

Applejack wrapped a forehoof around Twilight's shoulder, giving her a gentle, loving squeeze. "Now if ya are that concerned about yer weight I'm sure we can help ya, Twi'. 'Sides, I'm two twenty, and that's almost as heavy as most non-Earth pony colts."

"I told you," Rarity sang. "You really need to let yourself go about your weight problems and relax, sweetie. Now let it all out so we can help you right here and right now. What is your normal weight, darling?"

"One eighty six," Twilight mumbled, averting her gaze.

"Aha! I'm one ninety three. There, dear, you are lighter than me ideally, so you can't broker some argument about your weight. I'm sure if you are as paranoid as you are we can get you down to what you want to be. It isn't as if we don't have two if the fittest ponies in Ponyville here who can more than happily help you with your goals."

She really needs a confidence boost. Hence, Rainbow Dash is perfect for her, since Rainbow can help her as she helps Rainbow.

Rarity's mind wandered silently at the hundreds of little verbal snips that Twilight and Rainbow would jab at each other in a relationship. Hundreds of little pricks at each other's weak spots to elevate their blood pressure.

Or... maybe not Rainbow, when I think about it. She did her best not too.

Fluttershy gently sniffed the box on her stomach to smell the contents inside, shivering at the faint scent wafting from the ornate container. "I'm one eighty five, but I don't do anything other than my job, so I can't really help you, Twilight."

Dash spread her wings casually, stroking down the powerful muscles connected to her back with her forehooves. "One hundred and eighty one pounds of lean muscle and perfection."

Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight groaned at Rainbow's self ego boost.

Rainbow continued, a sly grin etched on her muzzle. "Twilight, I'll give you a girlmance promise: If ya wanna trim down you can't go wrong with me. I won't kill you by making you work out to death. It might feel like it, but I won't. 'Sides, seeing you all-"

Rarity pressed her forehooves together loudly, watching her friends' eyes turn toward her. "How about we change the subject before Twilight decides to kill us all-I'm not a fan of Twilight testing out a new kind of lethal magic-are any of you-good."

Her friends opened their mouths to reply but were quickly shot down. "Let us start with six rounds for now, since we have some very important places we must go to after this."

"Where are we going afterwards?" Pinkie asked, her eyes glancing at the staff. "You never told us after you screamed at Applejack and Rainbow. To a bar? This is a lot of haircare just to go to a bar, Rarity."

"And you do seem very excited about it, Rarity," Twilight said, sipping her cider.

"If it's one of them high-end bars I need ta go back to the farm and get something with some real kick," Applejack said.

"I would never force you all to have fancy hairdos and then take you to some fancy bar without your approval," Rarity huffed, folding her forehooves across her chest. "I am insulted that you would think of me in that way, Applejack. I assure you that it is a place all six of us will enjoy with plenty of alcohol and antics."

"Even me?" Fluttershy said, a faint blush touching her cheeks. "Not that... I don't like having fun."

Rarity giggled to herself. "You can become quite the mare with enough alcohol inside of you, Fluttershy. Even you."

Her friends looked at each other and shrugged. They had been promised again and again that Rarity had good intentions for them, and she was paying for it. Freeriding off of Rarity was something that all of them agreed on.

I'm not stupid, dears. Rarity felt her nostrils twitch as she looked over her friends. I know full well you all know I am planning something. Go ahead, think your thoughts. I will not stop you. "Rainbow, since I'm the one paying for all of this I get to go first. Truth, or Dare?" Time to push Dash into the fire quickly.

And yet, Rarity mentally blinked at the sheer magenta in Rainbow's eyes as they looked back at her. It wasn't just the color in those beautiful orbs that threw her off, but dare she admit it it was the calculus that reflected off of the faint twitches going across Rainbow's face. Those micro expressions that Rarity had so trained herself to read were flexing across her muzzle.

I've never seen her think so hard, Rarity thought. What is she up too? Does she think she can outsmart me? It doesn't matter. It is time to throw a curve ball, so to speak. This isn't a game she can play to win around me.

"Dare." Rainbow said it as quickly as Rarity had expected her too.

Rarity slowly smirked. "When our hair is done I want you to make out with Applejack for thirty seconds. I said 'mostly' civil, and kissing is very mild, don't you think?"

The way the heat sank from Dash's blue cheeks made Rarity burst out into a deep, belly shaking laugh, despite her best intentions not too. She couldn't keep her composure as Applejack's face joined the raw horror of Dash's own.

Pinkie Pie wasn't far behind in joining with Rarity's laughter either, and nor was the formerly tortured Twilight free from bursting into hysterics at what Rainbow was dared to do. Fluttershy too began to giggle in mirthful delight as they watched Rainbow and Applejack glance at each other as if they were caught passing love letters in class.

"Yes!" Pinkie squealed, her voice cracking as a hiccup burst from her muzzle. "And the crowd, goes, wild!"

"Thank you, Rarity," Twilight giggled, her laughter merging into quick snorts of delight. "This will be worth everything I've been put through today."

"I am here to serve my lovely Twilight," Rarity said, tipping her muzzle toward Twilight.

"Twilight!" Applejack growled, "how could ya laugh at this? Dasha and I are-"

"Most likely kissing when we don't see you?" Rarity cooed, fluttering her eyelashes at Applejack. "Half of the town knows you two are into each other."

Applejack snarled at Rarity. "Yer're bein' a mighty large bitch right now, Rarity."

"Yeah," Rainbow said, "if you can pardon our screw you."

Twilight wiped her nose with a forehoof, her cheeks flushed red. "Schadenfreude is something I find extremely funny," she said, "and more so when it's with my friends. I've always been a fan of it, but I love it even more so thanks to Rainbow. I have to do something to keep myself from going insane, and if it means you two having to come to me to talk about your relationship-"

"You are the worst on the coolness scale, Twilight." Dash said. "Applejack's my girl. I can't-"

"Oh so you two have been dating?" Fluttershy gasped. "Congratulations!" A barely shown smirk appeared on the corner of her mouth.

Oh how we have corrupted you, Fluttershy, Rarity smiled mentally.

Fluttershy nickered happily. "I always knew-"

"Pinkie, Truth or Dare?" Dash said between her teeth, her cheeks a solid red more akin to the hair in her mane. She folded her forehooves in protest, looking at Applejack's equally heated cheeks.

All Rarity could do was smirk to herself. Think I'm setting you and Twilight up, hmm, Dash?

"Dare. You all know that I never stop speaking the truth about myself anyways," Pinkie said, sighing into the massaging of her tail. "Ohh... Dashie is right, this feels way too good to have ponies squeezing my cotton candy. Well... the legally allowed to squeeze in public kind."

A confident smile slowly returned to Rainbow's muzzle, glancing for just the shortest of moments at Rarity. "After I make out with Applejack," she whispered, "you have to spend thirty seconds massaging and kissing one of her cutie marks."

Even if Rarity had the most expensive and grandest tasting bottle of wine from the most sacred orders of Prench monks she would of shot it out of her mouth as if Applejack had bucked her rib cage at the dare.

Her mind equally agreed. The hay!? I... ohh... I can't... that is just priceless!

"Okie dokie!" Pinkie said casually, as if she were asked to put sprinkles on some ice cream. "I showed Twilight earlier how good I am with massages, so Applejack will get to feel them too!"

Applejack slammed her forehooves on her chair, forcing the two colts who were grooming her tail and mane to jump back for their lives. "Ya shittin' me, RD? After what Rarity wants? You freakin' butch camel droppin'; go stick a wild hog's tusk up your vag."

It was too much for the other Elements of Harmony. They broke out into tear producing laughter, despite the river of vulgarities pouring out of Applejack's muzzle. Rainbow seemed unphased by the threat that Applejack directed at her.

While the staff stared at each other as the Elements cried themselves hoarse in bliss, Rarity's mind was churning at the simple sight of Applejack being more annoyed than perhaps Rarity had ever seen her friend in her entire life. Oh this is... Oh, I think I pulled an organ I didn't know I had!

"Okay, okay," Twilight panted. "I have no right to be angry for the rest of the night. This is just too incredible. This is astronomically amazing. Applejack, I'm sorry you've been the blunt of the jokes today, but..."

She grinned darkly at Applejack. "Okay, I'm not sorry, because-"

Applejack huffed at Twilight. "Ya better not be hopin' you taste of grape, Twilight, 'cause I am half tempted to squeeze you dry."

Twilight's cheeks turned fiery crimson from the comment, the gales of joy picking up once more, sending everypony but Twilight and the staff into a wheezing hail of panting gasps.

Even Pinkie Pie was barely alive from the amount of air she had let loose from her lungs, a rarity all by itself. ""If... if you all are hurting my body then... Fluttershy, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," Fluttershy said, her cheeks flushed from giggling, "because I'm not drunk or high yet, so I can't do dares. If... that's okay."

"Oh don't worry about it," Pinkie nickered playfully, "you're so much fun and silly tipsy, so it's okay! But this still isn't an easy one but that's the point of the game. If you had to to roll in the hay with any of us, who would it be?"

Fluttershy leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling in contemplation. "Well... Rarity's bed is uncomfortable, and I'd most likely pull a wing, so sorry, Rarity."

"Fluttershy!" Rarity cried, throwing her forehooves into the air and almost hitting an attendant, "my bed is firm and supportive-"

"It would be awful for creative positions,” Fluttershy continued, “and as a mare who does yoga you should be ashamed to not have a soft bed for sensual pleasure. Despite how the pony spine can adjust to many things, I don't think making love on a rock is something I'd...umm... enjoy."

Rarity was a sputtering, flailing mess as the other four Elements hollered themselves raw. It is one thing for her to dodge what we did earlier today, but it is another thing entirely for her to just-

"You just... you just got owned by Fluttershy!" Dash cracked, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Please let me out of this chair. I'm going to pee myself! I can't... this is the greatest moment, of, my, life."

Oh I will get you under my horn and ram it straight up your behind, Rainbow Dash. Rarity growled at Rainbow mentally, content to let her sapphire eyes convey the hatred inside of her soul at her. It made Rainbow's squeals that much louder.

"We will do exactly that," Lotus mumbled. "You all should be glad to know we are trained professionals. At least I can say we are proud of our work."

Rainbow opened her mouth. "But what about Fluttershy's-"

"As much as we enjoy the loyalty of Miss Rarity and Miss Fluttershy," Aloe added, "we think you six are getting a bit... rowdy. Yes, sister?"

Rarity could not stop herself from grinning. It was all coming down to this. This one moment that would be the catalyst to the rest of their night. The moment that would begin the long, epic night of fun and romance that Rarity so desperately craved.

Reveal one Rainbow Dash...

With the hiss of a parting mane and tail dryer Rainbow didn't even try to get up in the normal and respectful manner a normal pony would. She pushed herself off of her chair with her forehooves, flipping through the air to land on the ground. "Alright, I'm gonna be so ticked off if-"

What was once formerly a chromatic and cropped mane had become a typhoon of wild and berserk hair that made Rainbow's friends gasped in unison.

Now.

Rainbow was wide eyed at the waterfall of colors that rolled down to nearly her mid-back. It was a long river of vibrant lights chained down by a ponytail that began at the back of her snout and cascaded down her neck and the front of her shoulders. It was an arced rainbow of sharp, bright hair that freely twirled and intermingled with the gentle flick of her snout. It was as freespirited as the mare it was attached to.

Her tail was hiked up slightly higher than it normally was by a clear tail wrap at the base of her tail. And yet it too was an equally spirited and flowing vortex of prismatic due. Longer by half a hoof, Dash's tail showed off more of her lean and tight hindquarters trained by years of flying, martial arts, and fitness exercises. Every movement of her withers gave the most subtle of teasing looks with every trot she made to show what she had spent thousands of hours of her life training to her body to become.

One point for Rarity.

"I... I'm... I'm beautiful." It came out as if Rainbow ever doubted her physique or what she could become if she showed off her physical beauty. She turned around swiftly to watch her new mane and the thick strings of hair dance on the momentum she generated. A dozen strands of her mane and tail flailed in the wind behind her as she moved, becoming a fanning rainbow in the light.

By the time Applejack was pulled free there was only a few seconds between her standing on all fours and gaining her footing and the sudden contact of Rainbow giving Applejack everything she could with her tongue.

It was unexpected, and yet not quite at the same time. Rarity could not stop herself from grinning as Applejack's and Rainbow's muzzles collided.

And now two points for me. One never doubts the released sexual desires of two pent up best friends that truly just need to sit down, rut each other, and get it over with. Although they are... a bit... adamant about it right now though. Even for them.

Applejack's mane and tail had been untangled, unhinged, cleaned up, and let loose. There was nothing complex about what had been done to it, but it clearly struck a chord with Rainbow, who caught Applejack off guard to the point she fell back into her chair, stumbling and spitting in confusion.

Applejack's blond mane and tail needed no length added; it simply needed to be unhinged from its hat and tie, its golden locks of thick, dense silk falling open like wild grain waving in the prairie winds. The bundles of wheat that Applejack let grow for so long were now exposed to the world. She was a beautiful blond to the point Rarity felt a pang of envy.

And Rainbow seemed to love every moment of it.

She dug her forehooves into and through the wall of Applejack's mane that fought her every stroke. Whatever resistance Applejack could have done had vanished as the sounds of their lips and tongues colliding echoed in the air. Rainbow pressed herself into Applejack as their snouts rubbed into one another, straddling her waist.

Applejack returned the favor, stroking through the hundred braids of Rainbow's mane with a forehoof while her other one groped Rainbow's firm behind, digging into the flesh. The two mares seemed oblivious to the world, letting their dancing tongues and lips speak for themselves.

"Holy crap." Pinkie whispered, "is everypony kissing everypony today? And-"

She gasped loudly, leaping out of her chair to look at her mane. "Oh my gosh, Rarity, it's amazing!"

Three points.

Pinkie's mane didn't need an extensive overhaul in length either, but it was time for her to see herself as not just cute, but stunning. Her energy and youthfulness could be used for great effect, and Rarity sought exactly that.

Most of the puff in Pinkie's mane had been gently gel brushed back and stroked out, ending its tips in swirling curls that accented Pinkie's natural personality. It was still a mass of cotton candy, but more alike to the finest swirls of polished sugar than the wild pour it once was. Groomed to the right of her snout, it still rolled over her cheeks to gently touch her shoulders. Her tail had been polished to stand out as well, groomed more like a 'proper' pony tail, but it too was a jubilant mass of pink sugar that just didn't want to conform to what most ponies thought tails should do.

Pinkie Pie didn't seem to mind how normal and yet bouncy her new hair looked. She loved it so much she simply tackled Rarity straight out of her chair the moment Rarity attempted to get a better look, knocking her onto the floor.

"Oh my gosh, Rarity, it's so pretty!" Pinkie squeed, applying an ample kiss to Rarity's muzzle. "And oh my gosh, you and me can be sisters!"

A dark sigh escaped Rarity's muzzle. "Thank you, Pinkie, for slamming me out of my chair like you are keen to do-don't pet me I'm not a pettable object!"

Rarity's own mane had been simplified for the future chaos that was sure to unfold later that night. Gently weaving down her back and the corners of her cheeks, the wall of purple hair was a curtain of mystical beauty that ended in small, accenting curls. It had been unlocked from the extremely long helix that it once had been.

To Rarity, it aged her down, and made her look and feel like the vibrant young mare that she was. It was something different, and yet... something refreshing.

Her tail too was more gravity approved except on the very end, curving upwards into small little twirls of purple decorations, free from the swirl it nearly always was.

In fact, the more she thought about-

Are Rainbow and Applejack still kissing!?

Indeed they were. Lotus and Aloe dragged their forehooves across their muzzles as they let Applejack and Rainbow go at each other’s snout and tongue, leaving the other four Elements watching in awe.

Rainbow had straddled Applejack's thighs far more erotically than Rarity had ever wanted to see, showing off the definition in her flank cheeks from years of physical training in a manner that she feared would be burned into her brain for decades to come. She stroked through Applejack’s mane and snout cheeks as if they were strippers about to give a show, and Applejack seemed more than keen to agree with her. She was equally as infatuated with Rainbow, sensually stroking down her lean frame as they deeply kissed, ending her caress with a loud slap on Rainbow's blue thighs.

Well... that escalated-

“Don’t you quote memes without my permission, Rarity.” Pinkie Pie huffed down at her, booping her on the horn.

“Oh sod off, Pinkie," Rarity shot back, ignoring how her friend could read her mind. "I said it when we faced all of those changelings the second time around. Don't you remember?”

Pinkie prodded Rarity's muzzle once more, her eyes staring into Rarity's own. “I’m watching you,” she growled.

“And I think I’ve watched enough of you two making out,” Twilight said, pulling Rainbow and Applejack apart with a crackle of red energy. Twilight's own mane and tail didn’t need much altering either; why alter what already made her beautiful to begin with? With some unclogging of her flat and flowing mane her hair was able to freely flow over her forehead and shoulders, lushly bouncing in the air with every turn of her muzzle.

When Applejack and Rainbow caught their saliva covered and panting bearings Rarity couldn’t help but grin at the way the Dash's eyes followed every little movement in Twilight's mane. Twilight clearly noticed, and she didn't seem to be very amused in how Rainbow was going from Applejack to herself in her seductive cravings.

It only showed the excellence in taste that Rarity had for Rainbow to be unable to control herself even worse than she already did.

Four points for me, she hummed.

Fluttershy was tittering herself to death in excitement over the current show of love, clearly overjoyed at Applejack's and Rainbow's passionate make out. With her mane flowing forward and pulled from behind her neck, it made a misty river of gentle pink roll over the side of her cheek more smoothly than ever before. Her tail was lifted up just a pinch to keep it from catching on the ground. She looked more stunning than she had in her entire life.

And now I am jealous, Rarity whimpered. Why can't my tail do that?

Her tail held a grudge against her for years of twirling abuse.

“I’m so happy for you two,” Fluttershy said, hovering in the air excitedly. “It's wonderful that you two enjoy each other. Sexual attraction is natural and a good start to a loving and long term relationship.”

Rarity simply sighed, both mentally and aloud. And perhaps... a bit obvious, but it makes you adorable, Fluttershy.

Rainbow sputtered as reality once again decided to grace her mind in addition to the flood of chemicals going through her system. She tried to speak, but it only sent out a trundle of mixed spittle from her muzzle that was stained a fiery cherry.

The look of determined ‘disgust’ on Twilight’s snout slowly became a giggling, laughing gale of force as she looked at Applejack and Rainbow. Whatever composure she formerly had was lost.

“I’m trying to think of something to say about how I knew this was coming,” Twilight said, “but I just-”

“Don’t, say, anything,” Applejack growled. She shoved Rainbow off of her as she pulled herself up onto her hooves. "Don't, say, anything."

She trotted past Twilight with a snap of her thick tail. It cracked across Twilight's side, only resulting in more bursts of delight echoing from Twilight's mouth at her failed attempts to hide her laughter.

“I think we’ve done enough in this place," Applejack huffed, glancing at her friends. "And my thoughts on my self-control. I’ll be outside, washin’ my mouth of the shame.”

“M-m-maybe we should go,” Fluttershy squeaked, lowering herself in front of Lotus and Aloe. “We have... umm... been a bit rude to Lotus and Aloe.”

Rarity shoved Pinkie Pie off of her, sending her twirling through the air to crash on her back. Pinkie Pie would be alright.

“Fluttershy,” Rarity said, wiping off whatever germs Pinkie had contaminated her with, “they knew full well what they were getting themselves into. Mostly. They have been duly compensated for our antics, I assure you. But perhaps you are... right.” She chuckled nervously, her cheeks flushing red as she looked at Lotus and Aloe. “Although maybe-”

Lotus and Aloe nodded.

Rainbow did her best to instantly forget what she had just done by distracting both herself and everypony around her. She flew into the air with a spin around the room, a wide, confident smile spread across her muzzle.

“Alright, time to bring down the house with our amazing new looks,” Rainbow cheered, back flipping through the air. She stopped mid rotation to look at the dozens of dancing strands of her tail, whistling in approval. “Damn I look good. I never-”

“Oww!” Pinkie cried, covering her muzzle, “Rainbow, that’s my eye! Don’t leak in my eye. I don’t have insurance on my eye!”

“Leak?" Rainbow said, looking down at Pinkie Pie, "I’m not pee-oh crap-hey look, Soarin’!”

Rainbow burst from the spa with a thunderous crackle of air forming behind her, colliding into Applejack's rear end to send both of them tumbling onto the ground in an almost comical manner.

“Applejack," Pinkie called wistfully, "you might want to wash your hiney too, cause you are leaking a bit.” Pinkie hummed idly in the manner that she was famous for, bouncing out of the spa to look down at her fallen comrades as if nothing had happened only a few moments before. Every bounce made her semi-straight tail swish in the air, the puffy appendage complementing her every jump.

Rarity almost had a heart attack.

She wished she had the mental and physical strength to scream at picturing Applejack's and Rainbow's manes being ruined, but she didn't. The sheer horror was enough to cause her organs to fail.

And yet, oddly enough, their manes were in perfect order, despite the high speed impact that resulted in Rainbow being splayed over Applejack like a carpet.

She just wouldn't question the universe on how their new manes retained their shape and shine. It seemed the universe was fashionably in-tune with the Elements of Harmony. She was alright with that, and oblivious to the entertainment the universe received from them in return.

Applejack looked up at Pinkie, accepting Rainbow on top of her yet again for reasons she could not logically explain either. “Go suck a cinnamon stick from an elephant's rectum, Pinkie,” Applejack neighed, turning her snout around to burn her repressed lesbianism anger into Pinkie's eyes.

It only resulted in a squeal of laughter echoing from Pinkie's mouth at the insult being directed at her. She had become used to the swearing that her friends did, accepting their half fake anger at them not realizing how funny they were being.

“If you start rubbin’ my cheeks, I swear, Pinkie, I will throw you into a buildin’.”

Pinkie blinked in amusement. “So you’re the Jugger-”

Fluttershy shoved a forehoof inside of Pinkie's open muzzle to silence her, stroking her gently with a wing.

“You look beautiful, Pinkie Pie." She smiled calmly at her. "Always remember we love you, and Applejack and Rainbow are just very pent up at the moment. They don't need you making fun of their love for each other right now, not even if you are trying to be nice about it.”

“I’m not in special education anymore, you silly filly." Pinkie giggled into the stroking, leaning into Fluttershy's attention. "I love you too, and I was just trying to help.”

The unified squeak of Twilight and Rarity being shoved out the spa by Lotus and Aloe was punctuated by the slamming of the door behind them. They looked at each other silently, Rarity glancing back at the spa that she had been kicked out of.

Well that was a first, she thought. I never thought that would happen in my entire life, but alas... I should expect the unexpected around my friends, should I not?

The unexpected... A bit early, but it's not as if we can not entertain ourselves.

"Twilight, do you happen to know what time it is?" Rarity said.

Twilight let out a drunken sigh of sedated calmness. She had been laughing herself dry at all of the insanity around her instead of having a normal breakdown like she usually did, or the determined need to organize the madness to keep her friends in line. She had decided to take the Rainbow Dash outlook on life for the night for her own sanity, and on reflection it seemed to be working moderately well.

“So... no more Truth or Dare?" she chuckled. "And I would say around six forty five, but... why do you ask? I’m thinking we’d be out at least until midnight. If-”

“Darlings!”

Rarity trotted in front of her friends, watching their eyes look up at her in interest.

Oh I love being obvious and not at the same time! It's quite fun, really, and I never tire of it.

"As horrible of a witch as I am we have a train to catch in the next half an hour." She smiled innocently. "Oh I should have told you about that part, no? Silly me."

Train!?” her friends said together in wide-eyed fear.

Oh yes, fear me, and despair!

She blinked at her despotic urges. Oh my. I might want to control that side of me. And yet I feel like I've done that before...

Ahh yes, then. Let us not remember... then.

"We go to Canterlot!" Rarity leaped onto a bench with a dramatic waving of her mane, feeling the faint curls at the end of her hair wisp with her momentum. “I have many glorious plans for us! We-”

“Canterlot?” Rainbow groaned, her wings pulling her above Applejack. “Okay, I love the new manes, but-”

“Rainbow, what is in Canterlot?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow responded immediately. “Uhh... things I don’t like? You know: Nobles, pretty things, rich kids who need to be kicked in the crotch.”

"I should kick Pinkie in the crotch," Applejack said to herself.

"Oh oh oh!" Pinkie bounced excitedly. "The Knights of the Round Table!"

Twilight sighed, shaking her muzzle.

"Okay..." Pinkie pouted, her ears folding by the side of her frame.

Other than that," Rarity coughed. "Wonderful hip clubs full of alcohol and music. Surely you realize that the children of nobility love to rebel by default. There is a side of Canterlot that I don't think many of you know about. Other than Twilight of course, as she is a native.”

Twilight stood beside Rarity, her own smile spreading across her muzzle. "We've never really had the time to see the Undercity, and it wasn't like I explored it at all when I was living there. From what I've read it's... a lot more than you all might think it would be. Rarity isn't pulling our legs."

“I need about twenty shots of bourbon to make me forget about Rainbow's tongue,” Applejack said. “Is there good bourbon there?”

“The best,” Rarity chirped.

“And some lovely vodka?” Fluttershy hummed, flickering her wings. "I could go for some vodka right now. Cherry vodka sounds wonderful.”

“I like where this is going.” Pinkie Pie wrapped a forehoof around Fluttershy and Applejack, kissing them on their cheeks. “Plus it means that we get to spend the night there, and that means we get to party without worrying about coming home! Rarity, you are smarter than you look.”

“T-thank you, Pinkie,” Rarity mumbled, flicking her tail. “And you, Twilight? Any objections?”

Twilight scoffed a forehoof shyly at the ground. “W-w-well... I’m sure there are plenty of ponies there to flirt with, and I have always been curious about going there."

Rarity jumped down from the bench, doing her best to pull all of her friends into a group huddle. “I normally don’t say this sober, but I think this is apt and will absolutely show you all my intentions. Are you girls ready?”

“Y-y-yay?” Fluttershy squeaked.

"Better be awesome," Rainbow snorted.

“Alright then.” Rarity threw her forehoof into the air with as much passion as she could muster, her voice resonating over the horizon. “Elements of Harmony, Lets, get, pissed!

Pinkie scratched the back of her mane. "Why are we getting angry? I thought this is supposed to be a fun thing?"

Rainbow dragged her forehoof across her muzzle slowly. "She means drunk, Pinkie. Drunk."

"Oh,' Pinkie said. She gasped suddenly, tears budding in her eyes. "I ruined a perfect ending for a scene. I'm so sorry, everypony!"

She burst out into a torrent of tears, her friends looking at her in confusion as she held onto Rainbow for support, weeping into Rainbow's coat. "And Rarity said it so well too."

"Just ignore her," Rainbow said, stroking Pinkie's mane affectionately. "She was talking about chapters earlier. It's just her being Pinkie."

Author's Note:

Angry Orchard is a delicious cider. Get it. Now.

I also find it funny I had Flutter Sarcasm before season four.

This chapter is so much better redone. And longer too.

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