Thirty Minutes Shy

by Esle Ynopemos

5: Laughter is the Best Weapon [Adventure]

((Prompt: I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you.))

There were many that considered Fluttershy a coward, of sorts. This wasn't exactly true. Certainly, fear had a way of getting the better of her more often than others, which did seem like the mark of a coward. But the truth was, Fluttershy was simply more keenly aware than most of one simple fact: that she was part of a race of small, squishy, candy-colored creatures in a world teeming with nasty, sharp-toothed things that did not bother to take the time to distinguish between candy-colored creatures and actual candy.

This fact had never been fresher in her mind than it was now as one of such nasty, sharp-toothed things wrapped its black scaly coils around her legs, hissing.

“Why don't you scream, little pony?” the naga teased, her mouth full of needle-like fangs. “I've always wanted to have a pony sing for me.”

Fluttershy struggled against her bonds, but the serpentine coils just squeezed tighter.

The monster chuckled. “Of course, we both know it won't do you any good, screaming. You're the only pony for miles and miles.” She hissed each time she said the letter 's.' A long, clawed finger reached out to stroke Fluttershy's wing. “Little pegasus is a long way from her friends, isn't she?”

Fluttershy continued squirming uselessly. “Please,” she pleaded, looking up into her slitted eyes. “I'm... I'm sure you're a very nice venomous serpent-lady. You don't really want to hurt anyone, right?”

The naga shook with laughter. “Ha! That's a good one!” She gave Fluttershy a big, toothy grin. Fluttershy could smell rotting meat on her breath. “But yes. If it means feeding my children, I very much do want to hurt someone.”

Four younglings, not yet grown into their gills, writhed in the mud below and stared up with hungry eyes. Fluttershy might have found them cute, if not for the prospect of becoming their dinner.

“Don't worry,” the mother said, smirking. “I'll make sure you won't feel it by the time they dig in. I may be cruel, but only so much.” She opened her jaw, exposing rows upon rows of venomous fangs.

Fluttershy's eyes hardened. She glared up at her captor, untempered force of will pouring out of her as she hit her with the Stare. “You don't want to do this,” she said slowly.

The coils began loosening as the naga's jaw slackened. “I... don't want to do this,” she repeated.

“You are going to let me go, and feed your children healthy fish like they need to grow right.”

“I am going to... agh!” The naga buried her head in her claws. “Pony trickery!” she hissed, tightening her coils until Fluttershy could barely breathe. “You know what? I've changed my mind, little pony. You will be eaten alive!”

As the coils tightened around her, Fluttershy let out a tiny sound. The naga leaned closer to listen. Perhaps she would get her singing pony after all.

But it was not a scream. “He-he...” Much to the naga mother's bewilderment, the yellow pony was laughing!

“Wha'tss sso funny?” she hissed, emphasizing her slur.

“I'm sorry,” Fluttershy said, smiling and shaking her head. “It's just... he-he! It's just something you said, how I'm all alone, and I don't have any friends. It's really funny!”

The naga's eyes narrowed. She glanced around the darkened bog. There was no one else around, she knew it for certain. She would have sensed motion in the water otherwise. “You are alone, pony.”

Fluttershy burst out laughing. “I'm sorry! I shouldn't laugh, but it's just so silly! I always have a friend just a giggle away!”

“Enough of this nonsense!” the naga snapped. “It is time for you to—” She was interrupted as her vision filled up with pink.

“Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?”

The naga reeled back with a startled hiss as a pink earth pony appeared from what seemed to be quite literally nowhere.

“'Hhssssssaaaah?'” Pinkie repeated, dropping to the muddy ground with a splash. “Wow, that's a mouthful! What if I just call you Snakey-Pants?”

“What trickery is this?” 'Snakey-Pants' made an angry lunge at Pinkie with her claws, but the baker was too quick for her, bouncing behind her with another wet splash.

Pinkie giggled. “That's not a trick! I just got a feeling my friend was laughing at something funny, so I thought I'd come see what it was! Boy, Fluttershy, you were right! Miss Snakey-Pants is a riot!”

Fluttershy smiled. “I think it's her birthday, Pinkie.”

Stars glistened in Pinkie Pie's eyes. “Happy birthday!” she shouted.

Before she knew what was going on, the naga and her children each had party hats on their head and a slice of cake in front of them. Confetti rained through the air.

“I wish we could stay for longer,” Pinkie said, lifting Fluttershy out of the creature's coils, “but Fluttershy and I have to get home! Have a great party!”

The naga watched in stunned silence as the two brightly colored dots disappeared into the murk. Her children munched happily on their slices of cake, crumbs spilling into the mud.

Comments

[Periphery]

I was half expecting Discord to show up.

[Brakyo]

The stare became the next Jedi Mindtrick? I'm cool with that.
Fluttershy: This is not the pony you are looking for!

[Midnight herald]

I love how Fluttershy knows how to call Pinkie into the danger-zone. Her voice was really nice in this one.

[bahatumay]

I... I think my headcanon just updated...

[Princess Glitzy]

Pinkie! No more fourth wall breaking for you! And you, Fluttershy, should know better than to lie about something as serious as birthday parties!

[Amethyst Sunset]

>>Periphery
Me 2

((and i LOVE you profile pic )) Cray Rarity