Thirty Minutes Shy

by Esle Ynopemos

2: I Do This For You [Comedy]

((Prompt: I'll be loyal even as you destroy me.))

Pray, tell me, oh yellow one, what is this on my food dish?

Ha! You have such wit, to imply that this wilted green mush is to be taken for a meal! Truly, your pony friends do not appreciate your sharp invective!

Oh, but surely you jest! As you well know, I've a delicate diet, and the thought of pushing this slop, this 'spinach,' as you call it, through my system... I can but laugh, or else I would cry! Now where is the actual food? I am quite famished.

Excuse me, why are you turning to feed the others when you still have not corrected this mess? You're behaving as though you expect me to actually eat it! Just look at it! It doesn't even have raisins on it!

Oh... oh Celestia, you really are not joking, are you? This... this stuff is supposed to be my dinner, isn't it?

What have I done to warrant such cruelty, yellow one? Was it the burrow I dug under the chicken coop? Because I'll have you know that wasn't my idea! While honor prevents me from pointing paws, I think this foul green sludge may find a more appropriate home in front of a certain badger that you and I are both acquainted with.

Is this some kind of test? Are you looking to see if my loyalty is strong enough to swallow this poison before you'll swap it out with a kinder meal? Such a test is unnecessary! I give you my word that you'll never find a more loyal bunny! Never mind that I cannot speak, my word is still gold! Who has been ever at your side? Who has always been there to provide fuzzy cuddles at all hours of the day, asking only the barest minimum of necessities in return?

Surely you see I deserve a gentler fate than this! Please, do not do this to your one and only Angel! I can smell the noxious putrescence from here! One bite of it, and I will surely perish! Have you no carrots? A leaf of fresh lettuce? Hay, I am so hungry, I could even stomach peas with only the mildest complaint!

There is no need to nudge the bowl towards me, mare, I see it quite clearly! I just find it difficult to believe that after our years together, it would come down to this. Does our friendship mean so little in your eyes?

I think I would sooner go hungry than consume this garbage. Starvation is a terrible way to go, but at least it is better than poison. If you decide you want to see me, I'll be on the couch, clutching my stomach as hunger pangs wrack my poor body.

*Rrrrumblllle*

Nay, I cannot do that. For some reason I cannot fathom, you want me to eat this putrid gunk. Though I wish I could dissuade you, if I am not a loyal bunny I am nothing. I will be the dutiful soldier and suffer for you.

Goodbye, yellow one. I hope you do not suffer overmuch from guilt when I am gone...

*Munch, munch*

Hmm. This isn't actually all that bad!

Comments

[ProfCharles]

Fave and upvote now, read later when I actually have time to
Loved Pinkie, looking forwards to this.

Should probably read Rarity and Rainbow Dash as well

[Tachyon Xenophile]

This is on the Popular Stories. Just notifying.

[ProfCharles]

Hah! That's an interesting character interpretation for Angel. I like it.

[Periphery]

I was lukewarm on the first chapter, but this one is great.

I think "There is no need to nudge the bowl towards me, mare, I see it quite clearly!" was my favorite line.

[uselesstaco]

As you well know, I've a delicate diet,

This was where i realized it was Angel Bunny.

[Lurks-no-More]

Oh Angel, you little adorable jerkass twerp, you.

[PresentPerfect]

Amusing!