We didn't start the fire.
Rainbow Dash7,251 stories ·4,138 members
Slice of Life8,140 stories ·1,460 members
Scootaloo3,262 stories ·2,570 members
Twilight's Library6,255 stories ·4,834 members
Scootalove is Best Love379 stories ·858 members
After a terrible fire nearly claims the lives of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rainbow Dash has to seriously consider what it takes to be a sister when she has to face the prospect of disciplining the newly-adopted Scootaloo.
Nopony ever said that being a good big sister was gonna be easy.
Big props to Isseus and ShootingStar159 for pre-reading and editing.
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Awesome! The long awaited re-write of what sparked it all! I can't wait to give this a read!
2880317
Thanks! Me too, I'm gonna re-read the whole thing.
2880320
Re-read it? You just re-wrote the thing for a third time. Oh well, greatness never gets old.
2880330
It's hard to explain. It's very... therapeutic to read this right now, I guess.
2880334
It shows how far you've come since the first time you wrote it.
2880337
Eh, it's not that. Besides, this is a new fic!
Well, damn. THAT... I'm impressed.
Very well done. Very well done indeed.
~Regidar
2880339
I know it is. Eh, therapy is therapy. As long as it makes good feelings, then
2880355
Yep!
2880345
You have got to be one of the most interesting individuals that I have ever seen on this site.
2880361
Well, I certainly try!
~Regidar
2880373 2880361
Eh, life -is- better with Regidar.
2880385
I suppose so. He certainly keeps things lively here, doesn't he.
2880385
Most times. But, yeah, this was damn good.
~
Skeeter The LurkerRegidarYup, really good story.
You should get nominated for the Rewrite of the Century Award.
Turning a simple 4k one-shot into this impressive 18k story.
Not bad. A little fast paced but it's still a good read. Approved for Twilight's Library
Um, why does Dash need to get a new house? It's a cloud house, if Scoots can't get to and from it without the ability to fly, she could just move it to the ground.
Also, was the ship tease at all necessary? I hate when people put shipping in stories where it has no place being.
2880773
It would have still been a difficult house to navigate, which is why I had Rainbow mention that.
Also, ship tease? You mean the Soarin poster? Just trying to tie in with the continuity of What's Really the Most Important, which takes place after this. I'll link them up after a few days.
2880773 Excuse me but what ship tease?
If you are talking about the RD x Soarin bit, it's not as much ship tease as a groundwork for future events in the story that follows from this one. Think of I'm Sorry, Sis as a prequel. The author also linked the story to the fic and I highly recommend reading it.
The house thing? Maybe it was also because Scoots can't fly so she wouldn't feel so bad about living in a cloud house and being reminded all the time that she's disabled? I don't really know how cloud houses work, but to me it was a pretty solid reason.
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed working on this story and I love how it ended up. We planned several parts of it together, but when KK finally gave me the full story to read, I must admit I teared up several times. The part where AJ describes the apple tree her father planted. Scootaloo asking RD why she was sorry for hurting her because she was going to hurt her again, the very last lines in the story...
I really loved it. I did. I've also been pretty wistful and jealous of the relationship that started forming between RD and Scoots in the story. I wish I'd had something like that growing up.
Frontpaged! Congrats Krishna!
2880874
You could say that. There's a lot I failed with as an author with that first fic. I've done my best to fix every mistake by crafting this new story. I'm gonna on the same page with RD, we both made major mistakes and we've gotta fix 'em, even if it's hard.
I never got to see the original version of this, and I was waiting until WRTMI was finished before I dove into that one, but Isseus insisted I at least read this prequel since it stands on its own pretty well, so I checked it out.
I think your RD voice is kind of.....off, in a lot of places, she talks a little too 'proper english' here and there (one example that really glared at me was "You see," instead of perhaps "Y'see," Dash really cuts corners with her words a lot). And I'm not completely sure a seven year old has the mental capacity to have that thorough a grasp of the situation as to accept punishment like that. That's a decision a teenager might have trouble reaching. I always interpreted Scootaloo and the CMC as more in the 10-12 range, myself, and I woulda believed this out of her if you wrote her more in that age range, but seven, not so much. And from a technical standpoint, I really do not see any reason this needed to be split into two separate chapters, one long one-shot would have been fine.
But otherwise, it was really really solid. I could really feel all of Dash's agony over having to be a disciplinarian, and although I initially thought it was going to be kind of awkward to have her half-ass one punishment and then come back later with a stronger one, and even more awkward to have them talk about it first, in the end you really made it work.
Keep up the good work, and I'm definitely interested in picking up this story's parent-fic one it's finished.
--CG
2880773
I was rather wondering that myself about the clouds. Heck, I always had assumed that she had thrown the thing together on her own out of spare cloud pieces or ones she would have dispersed anyway during her job.
But you could always assume that since it's an actual cloud house that there's some sort of variance on that kind of thing, or that cloud houses can't exist on the ground (have you ever seen a cloud house on the ground in the show?) It's magic, so weird rules can be applied to that as long as they're consistent.
As for the shipping tease. I didn't really pick up on anything like that myself. You may have just been reading too much into whatever situation you are referring to.
2880989
Hey, Karkat!
Thanks for giving it a look! Isseus really did a lot to help me, the most important thing being the fact that he pointed out the true flaw of the original: Rainbow Dash didn't handle the spanking correctly. When I realized I could explain why this was but failed to show it, I knew I could craft an entire story around that alone. Only this time, she was going to overcome.
I struggle with consistency often :/ Thankfully, editors can catch most mistakes. I'm scores better than I ever was when I first wrote the original version of this, which I keep saved to really see how far I've come. I'll keep honing my wordsmithing.
It's hard to really sell Scootaloo as accepting the punishment, which is why I had Rainbow Dash share her own experience when she was in Scoot's horseshoes. However, Scoot sometimes has a good head on her shoulders, and she trusts Rainbow Dash to the hilt. That's important to consider! I don't think she'd have herself spanked by any other pony, and if Dash truly felt it was necessary, she'd consider it.
As for the chapter split, I actually wanted this into several chapters, but I couldn't decide on any proper place to split it save for when Rainbow Dash reaches her decision. I didn't want it all one big block of text, because I felt it would have looked messier with the flashback horizontal rules as part of a large page of text.
It wasn't easy, on multiple levels! Not for me, not for her, either. Thanks for your feedback!
I really, really loved this story! Man, I wish I could write like this, pretty much the whole thing made me want to cry but the lesson is good. The struggles Rainbow Dash had as a child were interesting I wonder how badly she hurt the colt in the story. But this story was really well written and very, very moving WELL DONE!!
2881373
She would have just knocked him backwards over a desk, causing him to smack the back of his head off of either another desk/desk corner, or the floor. And she felt no remorse at the time :(
Oh wow, just WOW that`s kinda sad :*(
I feel bad for RD though seems like her dad didn`t feel like talking about her mother to much so maybe that`s why she acted so bad
2881051
As much attention as my stories have gotten, you'd be amazed how few people actually catch that. Nice to see a fellow homestuck around here.
I also faved and I`m gonna
stalkwatch you2881442
Rainbow Dash was only four when her mother died, but she was very close to her. That was the last time she ever saw her life as happy, really.
Mommy's Going back to Heaven if you're curious to see how Rainbow Dash faced her mother's last moments and having to accept it. Maybe she just wanted to turn on the world. I imagine she stopped asking her Dad about when they started to drift apart.
In my headcanon, after she repaired the relationship with her father, they were comfortable talking about her again. I think Rainbow found out a lot about her mother's ideals later.
Wow, this hit right in the feels!
A great piece of work. You and Isseus need to tag team more often if this is the final product!
2881443
You're the only one I've seen so far, aside from me! Actually saw your profile a long time ago, or maybe it was a different Rose, but would have felt weird to try to talk to you out of the blue.
2881451
Many thanks!
Your welcome I`m writing a FlutterMac story soon cause I love FlutterShy and Bic Mac together I just think they are so cute :)
+
=
2881521
I'm not a fan of the Fluttershy/Big Mac teamup because I can't really see them as being able to communicate with one another (one being shy, the other possibly socially inept). Just don't see the potential for growth. However, I'm always curious to see if fics can change my perception of that. I'll give you a watch in return for yours, and I'll give your fic a read once it's done.
2881491
Aw don't worry about that, I'm pretty easy to talk to. I've been trying to be more social around here anyway, heh. Feel free to check me out sometime, maybe hit me up on steam to chat.
Really good so far, I don't usually cry at stories but I did tear up when Applejack thought that Apple Bloom was dead. Very touching
As for shipping, I didn't pick up any at all. I thought it was very well written and I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Just gotta say you did excellently. Haven't gotten emotional from reading a story in a good two or three years. Well paced, properly difficult decisions and a dollop of heartwarming moments.
Faved, liked, followed...all that jazz.
2881443 Yeah... he pretty much never shuts about that comic...
2881662 The next chapter, or actually the next story, is well over 100k words and just waiting for you.
This story was okay. I wasn`t going to hit like or anything because this story was nice, but rather boring. Then, I read the last line. “I love you, too.. Mom...” Liked!
This is a substantial improvement over the first one, especially in how you presented Scootaloo's acceptance of her punishment, but I still can't buy the premise. Something about the whole idea of Dash sitting her adopted daughter down and explaining that she's going to hurt her just doesn't seem healthy. Again, it's much better than the previous version, but the underlying issue I had with that one is still here: why beat a child who clearly already understands that what she did was wrong, and who is tearfully contrite about it? Yes, I know Dash offered Scoots a choice this time, and yes, I know that Scoots accepted the spanking of her own volition, but it still doesn't sit right with me.
One of the best fics I have read in a while. Well done, have mustaches.
>>KrisnaKarnak
Thanks! I'm sure I could do another paring if this one goes south but I'm always a fan of Fluttershy (cough best pony cough) I love Rainbow too though I can't decide
You give too much unnecessary information. We don't need to know how old Dash was when she moved to Ponyville.
Wow... That was... I think beautiful is the wrong word, but I think you caught the very core of what parenting is perfectly. Sure, there's pain and it hurts, but there is a reason for it and Dashie does a great job at explaining it.
It's not the usual sort of fic I read, but it managed to catch my interest regardless. It explores an interesting topic and does a great job at, well, just exploring it. There's a lot of deep thought into this, a lot of stuff that makes people think. Before reading this, I had never really understood why spanking was a thing, but now it actually makes sense. The pain is not the punishment, but a way of making sure that the victim remembers why they should not do... "bad stuff".
It's deep and there's obviously put a lot of thought into this. Great job.
2881977 I know this is like hitting my head on a wall, but I have to contradict you. I understand how you feel about the fic, and the moment I read "If you're sorry you hurt me, then why are you going to hurt me again?" it stopped me for a moment. But then I read further. RD isn't the perfect big sister/mother, but this is her first attempt to take on that role instead of acting as a playmate. She decides it's best for her to talk the thing over with Scootaloo, which shows a lot of trust and respect for her, and Scootaloo on her turn trusts RD to be right. What I got from this story was "Scootaloo, do you trust me to do what's best for you even if you don't like it?" and Scootaloo said "yes." The story wasn't about the spanking in the end. It was about both of them accepting their roles as a family. Not just as a brash young mare and a headstrong little filly, but as a mother and daughter.
So why was the spanking still necessary when Scoots had already told RD that she understands. It's the hollow feeling in your gut that tells you that things aren't right. It's what RD felt when she didn't know what to do with Scoots. It's what Scootaloo felt when she sat on the bed crying and not knowing if RD hated her or not. It's a feeling I'm personally very familiar with. It's the know of guilt, fear and loneliness, all curled into a hollow lump in your stomach that won't go away. Scootaloo needed closure to the episode and understood she wouldn't get that by going to bed. She knew that whatever she chose, RD would accept. But if she'd gone to bed and RD had just tucked her in... the whole thing, the whole trust between them would have been lost. RD trusted her to do the right thing, which was to take responsibility and the punishment for doing the wrong thing. If she hadn't, the cold lump wouldn't have gone away and Scoots would have suffered from it for a long time. Heck, maybe for ever. RD might have said that Scootaloo could choose if she wanted to be punished or not, but it was also clear (at least to the reader) what she hoped Scoots would choose.
I think the whole story worked perfectly. RD didn't hurt Scootaloo out of anger but out of love. And yes, that is totally possible. That is why I still to this day believe a spanking is a good way to discipline a child, if it is done right. This story shows how it is done right.
In comparison to the previous version of Sisterly Guidance, I think this is a whole lot better! Although the original version was great, this has so much more detail and I also like how you put in a bit about Scoots adoption!
2880773
Well, this technically is a side story to the Soarin'Dash fic that is being written, so in my opinion, I think there is all the reason for it to be put in... and I guess that's also why they thought it would be okay to put it in too.