What's threatening Equestria this time? Why can't they just defend themselves with the Elements of Harmony? Why do the princesses magically summon a human instead of a member of a more respectable species? Who the hell has been giving Luna language lessons? Why is the hero yet another guy named Kyle? Some (but not all) of these questions will be answered, and the answers may surprise you!
Or, you know, maybe not.
.
[NOTE: There's no gore as such, but there is a great deal of ridiculous, cartoon-style violence.]
Cover art by Rob Liefeld thewaffler.
Chapters (8)
It's like the text itself is beyond giving a shit.
This is undeniably awesome.
2882445
Thank you!
That was the style I was shooting for.
someone find whoever is teaching Luna slang and smack them with a lead pipe please
2884231
There's always the possibility that she's been teaching herself, you know. Unsupervised independent study can be a dangerous thing.
I find it weird how most human in Equestria fanfictions feature a character named Kyle....and my name is actually Kyle. ...
2924399
I don't know that I've personally read any stories featuring the name, but it's a common enough complaint in threads about bad and/or cliched HiE stories. When that many people have an issue with the protagonist being named Kyle, it must be pretty common; I knew that had to be my human character's name for this parody.
For the record, I've thought that Kyle was a pretty cool name ever since I saw the first Terminator movie.
I'd so love to have a magic shapeshifting gun.
Or even a magic shapeshifting fruit.
Shapeshifting is best power.
2941648
I'm a fan of it.
So we've got the violence-addicted Gary Stu with a cliche name that's also a fan of kids cartoons, parodies of the mane six in his friends, and excellently horrible cliffhanger...ing. Looks like an awesome parody of the bad HiE fics out there. Keep writing like this, and I'll probably be addicted before chapter five.
Kyle x Twilight for OTP.
-SoI
2942331
Thank you so much!
Of course, if I were really going for accuracy, I could try to make my demented OC darker and edgier. The problem is that brooding and comedy don't really mix.
Congratulations: your story has good enough grammar to be added to the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive directory of grammatically correct stories on FIMFiction.
Also,
Damn you for that. I couldn't distinguish between parody and awful writing. Yours definitely falls into the former category.
2966229
I emulated bad writing that well?
Mission accomplished!
It's a troll! A goddamn troll! An internet troll! The worst kind!
3055108
It's even worse than that: there's a healthy amount of Discworld troll mixed in, too.
I knew you read Niven.
After Pratchett, probably my favorite author.
3095845
Thank you, it's so gratifying when someone gets one of my obscure references.
3056212
Well, mixing in Discworld troll should raise its intelligence.
What has Kyle gotten himself into this time?
Will Twilight ever get her hot pony sexytimes?
What will become of our heroes now?
Find out next time in... HiE Powered!
-SoI
Sorry about the lateness of my comment. I was having a hard time finding the time to read this.
... What the actual fuck.
That feel when you name is Kyle
3326327
As I said in an earlier comment, I actually think it's a pretty cool name. But apparently, so do a lot of other people -- multiple FIMFiction users have complained that it's the most overused name in HiE stories, so naturally, I had to name my guy Kyle.
First I was all like:
And the Luna walked in and I was all like:
3328040
As Luna might say, I'm hip to your jive.
I see that someone read "Animal Farm".
I think summoning a kzinti to Equestria would be a very bad idea.
3334707
Indeed it would! But Celestia specified a warrior race, and Twilight is sure she's got enough mystic mojo to keep a ratcat in line.
3326334 I feel that I may have used some HiE clichès here, but could you check?
Shame-less self-promotion on your own story, yo!
3339961
That takes real stones, mister.
I normally stay away from stuff with the Tragedy tag, but I suppose a chapter or two wouldn't hurt. I hope you've taken the time to read (and maybe upvote) this story and not just comment-bomb it...
3340003 I will just state that the tragedy doesn't happen until much later. Like, probably fifty chapters.
Aww, I think a kzinti in Equestria would be awesome! And bloody. But mostly awesome.
He probably had it coming.
"You killed my brother! Prepare to taste the--URK!"
3370505
All Care Bears have it coming.
And I think ponies would be safe as soon as a single kzin warrior learned about dragons. "Screw the herbivores! There's a REAL challenge!"
Is that shaggy on steroids in the picture???
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You know, I never really paid attention to the color scheme before...
3505656 This is the first thing I have noticed when I looked at the picture.
3505692
The shirt color was going to be something else, but then I pointed out that hey, this guy is in the military. So I got this revision where his shirt is in sort of an Army green and he's wearing dog tags. So I didn't really approach this from the same angle you did, if you see what I mean...
Side note: I do have another chapter started; other stuff just keeps getting in the way.
Q.o my eyes.
Lol. I'm rolling.
Dam celebrities always trying to be in the Hotlight.
So much power as long as we don't know how it works . XD
Yep, It takes heavy firepower to Swap bugs.
N take home trophies.
!!!
Oh noes, looks like its not a zombie. Double tap denied.
Mindless destruction, Check. That Lemon, Nnnope. Larger then life in a world that could easily kill you, Check.
Parody approved.
.. guy looks like Dr.Mundo.
Ch'rowl me, that was entertaining.
Item. Stasis box.
Contents: One: Soft weapon. Two: Luna's accent.
I think Tnuctipun engineering is a little more reliable than Luna's slanguage. Then again, there's always the possibility that, unlike the weapon, the Thrint made it themselves...
Put your hands on your face
and cover up your eyes
Don't look until I signal
PEEK-A-BOO!
The structural integrity of my sides has been compromised.
Yes! This is some seriously funny stuff. Seriously! I laughed from beginning to end.
Favorited becuse... Reasons.
Fo'shizzle!
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Glad you enjoyed it!
And I promise, there will eventually be a conclusion to this thing. It's just that I've had some difficulties with writing for some time now...
This is excellently written. I am so glad you continued it, Elric.