A strange new building has appeared next to the Carousel Boutique and Ponyville's resident fashionista is nowhere to be found. Could it be true? Has something happened to Rarity? Twilight and her friends aren't sure, all they know is that this is just another mystery for them to try and solve.
Just another day in Ponyville
I find myself interested.
Please, go on...
That's a new one.
Okay... You're missing a lot of commas, and other points would benefit from some extra other types punctuation, but the storyline is intriguing.
A few indents got messed up hon, dunno why the site's editor keeps doing that. I'm intrigued though, keep it up. :)
Why don't they ask Rarity's parents?
2924475 A fair comment. It hardly ever seems to occur to anyone in the show to actually check with a pony's family when something goes wrong. In this particular instance I've now amended Sweetie Belle's dialogue to clarify that the folks are out of town and she's actually been staying with Rarity, which is how she's seen her acting kinda strange.
*Snickers* A good chapter, dear. You might add a hint of Trixie's discomfiture the moment Berry Punch comes out of her wagon too though, since it's hard not to draw the obvious conclusion from that. ;)
Well, that's ominous. But very interesting; you have my attention.
2871558 Indeed.
Very nice so far; I'm interested to see where this will go from here!
Rarity wearing black and acting suspicious, hmm?
-Emo Rarity? Maybe the crystal ponies outshined her? Then it would have been her who created the Mausoleum.
-King Sombra? There's lots of stories where Twilight falls to the dark side, but it would be interesting to see Rarity do that instead.
-Someone offed her? The tomb is just cruelty?
-Something else? Probably the most likely.
Aaaanndd... Cliffhanger, you magnificent bastard. Have a moustache.
Didn't even wait three days before the tomb door opened. How gauche!
And it was all just a misunderstanding.
Also, epic reference to 'Background Pony'. I applaud thee.
3006788 Thanks for sticking around to the end. :)
I smell a sequel hook owing to the fact that Twilight MENTIONED the Background Pony spell....only to be blindsided by it.
I laughed... SO... hard...
You do realize this means I'll have to kill you now.
Brilliant! Nice ending, and great characterization; if it weren't for the issue of mortality and the bit with Trixie and Berry Punch, this would probably fit right in on the show.
That was a good story.