Prequel to determination
Disclaimer: Well here it is after so long. I’m gonna be doing more of this since I’m gonna need practice on story telling/writing if I’m going to make a career out of it!! Without further ado, here you go!!
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Dear, Twilight Sparkle,
I hope you are well, my faithful student.
Last night after night court had ended a strange looking and mysterious being appeared in Luna’s garden. It attacked her with a strange weapon that appeared to be a mix between a sword and a key. We have managed to detain this creature, but our efforts in finding out more about it have been less than successful. I have sent word to Princess Cadence and your brother, as I feel they will be able to assist.
We don’t know what we’re dealing with for the time being, so whatever I am about to tell you; please keep it to yourself for now. I believe that this creature is an alien, since all of our reference guides lacked anything similar or related to this creature. We do not know whether its intentions on this world are good or evil, as according to Luna; it was very confused when it attacked. For this, we are keeping it locked up for the time being.
Please, come to Canterlot and bring your friends with you. I feel that if this creature truly does need help like my sister claims that it’s going to need all the help it can get.
Your mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia.
PS: Bring the Elements of Harmony.
Twilight re-read the letter for the tenth time, eyes narrowed in focus as her mind highlighted certain parts of the letter. Particularly, the words; alien, attacked, alien, intentions, alien, and not from this world.
Did she mention alien?
A light heat swept over Twilight, feeling her cheeks turn a vivid red from embarrassment, the memory of her first reaction still clear in her mind. She had pranced all around her library, shouting yes over and over again. She had forgotten that Spike was in the same room as her, so when he asked her what she was doing she’d quickly tried to regain her dignity and managed to fumble out the word, “Nothing”.
“Sweet Celestia, you find out about an alien in Equestria and how you’re going to meet it, and your first reaction is to get all giddy like a school filly,” she gently scolded herself, before allowing a smile to come to her muzzle.
Seriously though, who wouldn’t be excited at the idea of meeting an alien? She had stayed up all night after her mortifying dance, questions plaguing her mind.
What was it like? Where did it come from? Was its kind anything like hers?!
A foalish fantasy of her standing in front of Canterlot Castle, shaking a four eyed, tentacle monster’s tentacle raced through her head, the creature spouting out a garbled mesh of words, its saliva splashing onto her face.
“TWILIGHT! WHATCHA READING?!”
“AAHH!!” shouted an shocked Twilight, frantically looking around for the source of the shouter!! Her eyes narrowing into a half liddled, glare directed at a certain pink bundle of energy with a wide grin on her face, oblivious to the annoyed glare she was getting.
“Pinkie Pie, please don’t do that,” Twilight requested, exhaling a breath of relief, trying to put her mind back to what she was reading.
“Hehehe. Sooooorry Twilight. I couldn’t resist since you were really focused on that letter,” giggled Pinkie Pie. She had looked really funny, her eyes getting suuuper big, leaning closer and closer towards the letter. The hungry look she had, almost made it look like she wanted to eat the letter. How silly.
Muttering incoherently to herself, Twilight let out an eep as Pinkie Pie pushed the letter out of Twilight’s face.
“Aww c’mon Twilight, you’ve had your muzzle in that note this entire time. It’s no fun doing so, when your friends here here,” pouted Pinkie, crossing her hooves in front of her.
“Ah gotta agree Twi. You’ve been so focused that letter ever since we got on this train, you’ve hardly said more than two words,” Applejack agreed, sipping down a can of apple juice; concern etched on her face.
Twilight smiled sheepishly; relieved that her mind had snapped back to the here and now.
It was true, she had gotten pretty wrapped up in re-reading the letter over and over again, trying to fill in the gaps towards the questions that had plagued her dreams last night. “I’m sorry girls, I didn’t mean to get so wrapped up in what I was doing.” Apologized Twilight, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.
“Pssh, it’s all good Twilight. You’ve got a lot on your mind obviously, that would get any pony really focused,” shrugged a nonchalant Rainbow Dash, hovering backwards. “Maybe you’d feel better if you told us what was up,” Dash suggested, opening an eye slowly as she tried to keep her tone from sounding under hoofed.
The lavender unicorn wasn’t buying Dashes’ subtlety, however, shaking her head and explaining in a tired tone,
“Rainbow Dash for the last time, I’m sorry; but I’m not allowed to tell anypony what the Princess wants.”
Dropping the sneak act, Rainbow Dash zoomed down in front of Twilight, protesting impatiently, “Oh c’mon Twilight, I gotta know!! Whatever the Princess wrote, it’s obviously something big since you’re not telling us. Please!! The suspense is killing me.”
“Umm..I don’t mind waiting to find out,” Fluttershy softly spoke up, hiding behind her mane. “I mean…that’s just me anyway...”
“Aww, I can’t though!! Whenever somepony knows something that I don’t, I just gotta know. I hate being kept out of the loop of things. Please, you can tell us!” Dash insistently asked in a tone that almost sounded like begging.
Almost…
"We all wanna know sugarcube. Landsake, it's been plaguing me ever since we we're asked to come along last second" offered Applejack, placing a comforting hoof on her friends back. "But c'mon, we can wait just abit longer right? The princesses aren't gunna keep us in the dark forever.
Twilight smiled sympathetically at her rambunctious friend, giving a weak shrug before stating, “I’m sorry, but I was asked to keep this information to myself for the time being. I made a promise.” She had to stop herself from grinning at using the big “P” word around Pinkie.
“Come now, Twilight. Surely you can give us a teeny, tiny little hint Twilight,” Rarity questioned, her curiosity getting the better of her just like all of the others.
Pinkie Pie dramatically gasped, zooming up in front of Dash as rambled hyperactively, “She made a promise Dash!! If she told us, she’d be breaking that promise. If you break a promise, you lose some ponies trust. If you lose that ponies trust, you lose their friendship forever!!”
“Yeah, but...” Rainbow tried to respond, but was silenced by Pinkie’s hoof over her mouth.
“Fooooreeeeveerr...” she dramatically hissed, narrowing her eyes at the stunned Pegasus.
Dash nervously gulped, letting out a contented sigh. “Alright...I guess I can wait a bit longer,” she begrudgingly accepted. Turning away from the others, she tried to channel her impatience away by tapping her hoof against the floor.
“Yah won’t have to wait fer much longer. We’re almost there. Hopefully, we’ll get sum answers,” Applejack pointed out, as the distant city of Canterlot slowly started to get closer.
Hopefully once they arrived, they’d be able to get some answers on what exactly the big news was all about.
==============================================================
“Twily!” beamed Shining Armor, galloping over to pull his sister into a brotherly hug.
Twilight giggled gently as she hugged her brother back, glad that he and Cadence we’re the ones escorting them towards the castle. It had been awhile since she and her brother had last been in the same place. After helping to save the Crystal Empire, he and Cadence had both been busy running the place.
“It’s good to see you again B.B.B.B.F.” grinned Twilight, pleased to see her brother once more. Pulling away from the hug, she nudged his side playfully “How’s married life been treating you?”
“I think it’s safe to say, that it’s been treating us both well,” Cadence smirked, the crystal princess hugging her sister in-law and friend.
Pulling away, both of them grinned before chanting, and dancing “Sunshine, Sunshine; Ladybugs awake!! Clap your hooves, and do a little shake!”
Giggling, Cadence turned to the sight of Twilight’s friends. “I’m glad that you’re all here. That means we can get things underway. Follow us please,” she said as she turned, and started to lead the way to the castle.
“So soon? But we just got here. I thought that we could talk a bit on how you’ve both been doing, what’s been going on?” asked Twilight, surprised at how quick they were getting to business. Yeah, she was really looking forward to seeing the alien; but surely finding out how her brother and sister-in-law we’re doing wouldn’t be too much trouble.
Noting the surprised look on his sister’s face, Shining apologetically responded, “Sorry sis, I know that you have a lot of questions and that we do have some catching up to do; but what’s been found has kind of put everything else on hold for now.”
Twilight reluctantly nodded, agreeing that the situation did call for urgency. They couldn’t very well talk about what’s been discovered so openly in public, since Princess Celestia wanted to get some unanswered questions before everypony else found out what was being stored in the castle, and whether it was dangerous or not.
“Well, obviously it is, if it attacked Princess Luna,” Twilight told herself, loyalty towards the Princesses sparking anger within her.
To be honest though, she was a bit conflicted upon what to feel. The alien had attacked her friend, so that had diminished any nice thoughts about it at first. After stewing in her anger for a while, she tried to think about what had happened from the alien’s point of view, and felt a twinge of sympathy for it. Appearing out of nowhere in a foreign world, not knowing who or what was friend or foe; that would make anypony unpredictable.
Obviously hoping that Shining and Cadence would be a bit more revealing than Twilight had been, Rainbow Dash suddenly blurted out, “Sooooo, do you guys know what’s so important that we all need to be here.” Clamping a hoof over her big mouth for not being more subtele, she let out a shaky laugh.
No such luck, as Cadence coyly responded, “Sorry Rainbow Dash, you’re going to have to wait a bit longer”.
“Oh c’mooooon,” Dash started to object, before the hiss of, “FoooorrreEEveeeer,” filled into her ears. That quickly silenced any further protest from her. “I mean ahh…umm,” she coughed softly.
“I can understand how Rainbow is feeling” pipped up Rarity, who had kept her thoughts to herself for awhile. “We were asked to come down here literally at the last second, with nothing other than ‘Come see us.”
Cadence offered an apologetic smile to the group, wanting to say more clearly but was unable to do so. “I’m sorry. It was last minute for us as well. But according to Celestia and Luna, this is something that requires all of us.”
As they neared the castle, Shining’s expression furrowed into a solemm gaze; stating softly, “All I can really tell you is this. We’ve found something that’s not been seen in Equestria since…well, I think ever. It’s unpredictable, unknown and for the sake of Equestria; we can’t let anypony find out about it until we’re certain whether or not it can be helped, and if it’s a threat to us or not”.
“Ooooo!!! What is it?! What is it?!” Pinkie Pie sporadically let out, eyes lighting up at the thought of meeting something that’s not been seen since ever!! “…Nope, nopedy nope, no!! I can’t ask, I can’t assssk. They all made a promise,” she scolded herself, although on the inside, she was probably bouncing all over with excitement from wanting to know.
Whilst everypony was smiling bemusedly at Pinkie, Twilight was deep in thought on what Cadence had said.
All of them were required, which meant that the Princess’s must already have some sort of plan on what to do with the alien. The question was; what was the plan?
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…..Is it really necessary to keep it in this state?
…Don’t know…how strong it is…
Consciousness swept back into Terra, his senses slowly reawakening.
Blinking a few times to make sure that he was awake, he tried to reach up and rub his forehead, in order to comfort his aching headache.
“Mmpf” he grunted, unable to move his shackled arms and legs, suddenly realizing the position he was in. He was standing straight up; both his arms and legs spread and shackled against the wall, before him a set bars lined up, preventing him from leaving.
His eyes adjusting to the darkness, the warrior frowned at the sight of the bars; deducing his location. “A prison” he realized, sounding more annoyed then worried. Immediately, he began to struggle against his bonds to free himself; disappointed that they refused to budge.
His mind raced with questions, demanding answers. How had he gotten here? What magic was keeping him from using his key blade? Who had trapped him here?
“This is isn’t exactly the proper way to keep a creature from another world contained. We're keeping him locked up like he's some sort of criminal” argued an irritated voice from the darkness.
“A creature who upon arrival, attacked the first thing it saw; this is necessary sister.” responded back another voice with a huff.
Realizing that he wasn’t alone, Terra turned his gaze ahead; his eyes widening lightly in alarm at the two beyond the cell. They both appeared to be horses, yet their faces were shorter, and rounder then a horses long and slender face. Their eyes were larger and closer to each other, rather than separated completely. Both of them had large, feathery wings, flowing manes, and long horns; complete with crowns.
The one on the right was a cream white, with a sun symbol on her flank, and a light blue mixed with a light purple mane. She seemed to be a polar opposite in appearance of the one he had met a while ago.
The other being was hidden in the shadows, so he could not make out what her features looked like; though she appeared to have the same shape as that of the other one.
“So, you’re awake” stated the white one, in a matter-of-fact tone; her hardened stare never leaving him for a second; her hoof pushing something someone back and out of his sight.
Terra responded with silence, still trying to get a grip on what was happening, and why he was in prison. Tilting his head in a similar matter of a confused puppy; Terra just stared. “Strange. Her light…her aura feels familiar to Master Eraqus….Eraqus? Why..do I know that name? Who is that?” thought Terra confusingly.
Scrunching his eyes in focus, he tried to concentrate, and force the answers that were locked away in his head. It was strange, but it felt like there was a fog of some kind; hazing over and blocking out bits and pieces of his memories. Not only that, but the harder he tried to force the answers to submerge; the more difficult it became to focus.
He could only remember a collection of names and thing.
Aqua…
Ven…
Keyblade…
Eraqus…
“What is your name, and where are you from” the horse questioned in a direct tone.
Still, Terra said nothing; so focused on trying to clear the fog in his head, that the pony before him that seemed to be his captor; was almost insignificant in her questioning next to wanting to unclouded his mind and memory.
“Are you feeling well?” asked a new voice, stepping forward and into the dimly light room.
“Luna, keep back!! We don’t know how it will react if..” instructed the first voice harshly.
Terra froze, feeling his body go numb as that familiar feeling of anger slowly started to fill him up again. This creature’s aura..her darkness felt similar to Xehanort’s!!
There it was again, that name. He didn’t know why, but that name made him absolutely livid!! Whatever this Xehanort had done to him; it felt unforgivable. If this creature’s aura felt similar…no, exactly like Xehanorts; hence it must be Xehanort!
In that case, it had to pay!
Grinding his teeth furiously at the creatures question, his anger threaten to smother all self-control as he started to yank again his bonds furiously, filled with the desire to tear this creature apart!! Growling at the ponies, he continued to hiss and snarl “Xehanort…Xehanort!!...XEHANORT!!!” over, and over again.
"Calm down. No pony is going to hurt you" insisted Celestia, hoping to reel in the aliens anger. Frowning since assurances of him not being harmed we're ignored, she tried a different tactic.
“Calm yourself! Your letting your anger of this Xehanort control you” ordered Celestia angrily, hoping to calm the alien. The rebuttal she got was a continuous series of snarls.
When the alien didn’t listen, she powered up her horn; ready to send the creature back to sleep when she felt her jaw almost drop in shock at the sound of metal breaking. If one looked closely enough, they could see the shackles holding the alien were starting to break.
Both sisters watched this display of power in shock. What this alien was doing, wasn't supposed to be possible!!
“I..Impossible!! What sort of alien are you” Celestia demanded, her mind trying to think up a reason on why it capable of ignoring the magical suppressing binds. Those binds were meant to suppress the magic within any creature, and drain it of its physical strength.
Yet physical prowess seemed to be this alien’s magic!! Perhaps being an alien, it was immune to Equestrian magic, or more resistant? If it was able to resist the suppressant magic of the binds, who knows what else it could do!
“XEHANORT! XEHANORT!!” screamed Terra, pulling harder and harder against his binds; eager and determined to get his freedom.
Suddenly remembering what was happening; Celestia snapped out of her surprised stupor and hit the alien with a sleep spell. Her jaw nearly dropped when the creature, despite being dazed; continued to pull and resist.
“ENOUGH” roared Celestia; firing another sleep spell at the aliens armored face.
Watching the creature cease its struggle, she smirked in a smug manner; proud of her brief victory before letting out an annoyed sigh.
They weren’t going to be able to speak with this creature; as long as it’s emotions we’re out of control, and its mind in such a broken state. That meant that they wouldn’t be able to find out any information on what it is was, where it came from, what its weapon was called and why it had attacked Luna in the first place.
“Wh…what was that? How was it able to do that?” Luna gapped, stepping up and placing her hooves against the bars to get a better view of the slumped alien.
“It almost broke through. It shouldn’t have been able to do that, and yet it did” quarreled Celestia with herself, in an irritated tone. Removing a thoughtful hoof from her chin, she said “We’re going to need to get his binds replaced. We’ll..”
“It did it again” Luna cut off, dejected. Her sorrowful tone never left the creature’s unconscious form.
“What in the world happened to you” she asked, wishing it was awake and calm enough to answer.
Letting out an annoyed groan, Celestia tried to mask her obvious dislike and distrust for the alien, and placed a comforting hoof on her sister’s shoulder. “We shouldn’t have to wait too much longer sister. Once Cadence and Twilight arrive; we may be able to reach an understanding with this otherworld being” Celestia spoke softly.
Appreciating the gesture, Luna thought “This Xehanort obviously is somepony whose caused him a great deal of distress. Yet, he seems to only identify me, and no pony else to being like him…why is this?”
“Perhaps this creature got the raw end of a deal with Xehanort, and is simply pouting over what he got stuck with” huffed Nightmare nonchalantly.
Frowning, Luna harshly spat “Go away. I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
“And just where am I supposed to go exactly” Nightmare sarcastically asked.
“Just leave me alone. Dealing with you today, is going to give me a headache” murmured Luna.
“Aww, that really hurts me” Nightmare mock pouted, clutching her chest where her heart would be, if she had one; before stating “Anyway, you keep thinking that this Xehanort is the villain? How do you know that this alien is not the true threat, and he’s just bitter that he lost in whatever occurred between the two of them.”
“No..no, that can’t be right. If it was truly evil, then why did it call Tia, Eraqus? The way he spoke that name…it sounded like whoever Eraqus is; he’s very dear to this alien” Luna insisted, defending the alien from her darkness’s attempts to besmirch him.
“You don’t know that though. You don’t know anything about what happened to it, where it’s from, or if he’s even really good or evil; yet you seem to be favoring towards it being good; despite not even knowing it at all. This is really foolish” Nightmare scolded.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about” responded Luna, eyes down casted in a dubious manner. Whilst she mostly sympathized with this being, some of what Nightmare was saying was true. But she wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of being right.
“Oh? And you know for certain” teased Nightmare slyly, persisting in pushing Luna’s buttons.
“SHUT UP” roared Luna, having enough of this conversation.
“Lulu? Are you alright” Celestia asked in a concerned manner? Luna looked really deep in focus, and seemed to be having an argument with herself with how she had been muttering under her breathe in an angry fashion.
Snapping out of her thought argument, Luna gave a faux smile “Oh yes, I’m fine. Just abit tired I suppose”.
Celestia opened her mouth to say something else, when the door opening at the end of the long hall, cut her off. “Your highness, Princess Cadence, and Prince Shining Armor have retrieved your guest” called the guard.
Pleased at getting to her student again brightened Celestia’s spirits, as she allowed a kind smile to reach her face. “Excellent, send them all in” she ordered.
A few moments later, The Mane Six plus Princess Cadence, and Prince Shining Armor entered the hall. All of them looked restless, and eager for some answers. Trotting up aside Princess Celestia and Luna, the group gazed within at the unconscious creature; the reaction of all save the rulers of the Crystal empire; ranging from shock, to excitement to wariness.
“I’m certain you all have questions about what exactly this creature is” Celestia stated, cocking her head back at the sleeping alien. “All will be answered in due time; I summoned you six here because I need your help” informed Celestia softly.
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Man its been a while and i have to say i missed this story a lot. The details you put
in every action the characters take make it easy for someone to imagine the events, something some fics
miss. Keep it up and hope to see a chapter update soon
nice to see this update, Terra was my favorite of the three in Birth by Sleep. Hopefully things start to go better for him soon.
3662114 Thank you for that comment. That's something I'm always fighting over when I look at other fics: Am i putting in too much, or too little detail? Sooo, yeah thanks :)
I have some personal issues with some of your wording, but nothing to get worried about.
How can he grind his teeth when he's a suit of armor?
He didn't spontaneously regain his body, only bits of his heart.
All in all; AWESOME!
Could use some editing. You use plurals instead of possessive a lot. Still withholding judgement until it gets further along.
3662170 You'll have to keep reading in order to find out what Terra really is. Can't say more then that :)
Another great chapter. I wonder what their going to do. Maybe a spell to see Terra's memories? What will their reactions be when they finally do get Terra's story and find out everything he went through?
I don't think this ends in a question mark.
Remove the word place and it should be fine.
Just an issue on my part but there's just too many exclamation marks all over the place. I know they're for making the expression more serious by adding more marks but if it happens all over the place then it gets a little... annoying. Other than that, Celestia seems to be more jumpy and rash to the point that she's just mad. A little more calmer and not so, um, skittish. She can still be worried and wary of Terra but to the point that his mere presence drives her up the wall seems counter productive.
Everything else is going good so far. Terra's controlled by his strong emotions because that's pretty much all he has left. Twilight and company are showing up to help with the problem (or make it worse
). I would think that they would realize that Luna is making him act this way so it might be smart to separate her from the "alien" for the time being? 
At least until Celestia and the Elements deem it safe to come in contact. Might be just the situation that Nightmare could abuse to finally let her words hit home with Luna. Distrust and distance works wonders.
3662327 Thank you for pointing out those flaws. Fixed em :) Plus, thanks for the suggestions ^_^
Glad to see this story is being continued. The theme of friendship helping someone return from &/or handle their darkness is as appropriate to Terra in his current state as it is/was for Luna so I hope he can be helped.
On the subject of cans though...that was the only part of the story that seemed odd to read. I think it would be much more likely that Applejack would be drinking out of a carton. I don't think Equestrian's would be likely to use cans...though having said that I wonder if any have been shown in the show that I'm forgetting? I know the technology level of Equestria is all over the place, but cans just don't feel right.
Huh, so Terra here is an angry emo. I wonder how long that's gonna last.
3662204
He IS a suit of armor.
You cant change that unless you say the end of BBS happened differently.
For example; if he obtained a duplicate of his body before being transported to Equestria.
He is just a suit of armor, willpower, and what you added: bits of heart.
I don't know how he can be anything else because it is spelled out. Xeanhort has his body at the current time. Just so you know; I'm NOT criticizing... yet. If anything it will be something like "Don't add something just for plot convenience." or "Do better research." Nothing too bad. I still enjoy this story.
3664740 Again, not everything's as it seems. In order to find out what's what, you'd need to keep reading. I can't just flat out tell what's up; that would spoil any suspense/twist.
3664933
You don't understand. You can't just inject mystery into a clearly-stated fact!
Terra is what he is and you have said nothing to change what he is. Nothing.
If I'm misunderstanding you completely and are concerned with spoiling the ending, pm me in more detail.
I'm getting fed up arguing here.
good chapter
it seems there's no point in arguing with Terra/Lingering will for now
the princesses are lucky that he can't move
i lick it
Yet again another story where Celestia needs to get beat like the bitch she is
whether she's being catious or not.
But this is good, keep up the good work.
Sorry, I have no idea what happened; but the version that was edited and fixed, was replaced with the version that wasn't edited and fixed. I have no idea how this happened, but I'm gonna fix it. Chapter will be up again soon.
Review of "Prequel to Determination":
Okay, first off, you must have forgot to double check yourself while you were writing this particular part of the chapter. You put down "Rarity questioned" instead of "Dash questioned" or "Rainbow Dash questioned".
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You put down "B.B.B.B.F." instead of "B.B.B.F.F." here. The acronym stands for "Big Brother Best Friend Forever". Remember that when you're writing whenever you have Twilight greet Shining Armor in a story.
Also, be sure that you use "we're" when it's used in a sentence by a speaker instead of using it in place of "were" when no one is speaking. That's something I noticed in a few of the previous chapters I've read.
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It's "Princesses", not "Princess's".
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It's supposed to be written like this on the third sentence of the above quote:
Not only that, but the harder he tried to force the answers to emerge; the more difficult it became to focus.
Also, "submerge" would be implying that Terra is NOT trying to remember anything, but rather he is trying to bury those memories so far that he ALMOST can't remember them until some kind of stimuli triggers the memory/memories into surfacing to the forefront of his mind.
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