• Member Since 28th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday


I'm a Scotsman who likes to write stories, not all of which are of the self-insert variety. (Discord Server)


During an experiment, Twilight manages to bring a bottle containing a mysterious orange liquid into Equestria. Her curiosity gets the better of her and she decides to taste it, purely in the interests of science.

She soon finds that the pony body isn't designed to handle the awesomeness that is Irn Bru, at least not without some rather odd side effects. Side effects that her unfortunate assisstant will now have to put up with...


Comments may contain spoilers.

Inspired by a conversation I had on TeamSpeak with the awesome Sweet Tale (AKA Greatodyer).

I regret nothing.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 64 )

I is read.
EDIT AFTER READING: This story was good! Another great work by GeodesicDragon.

"Affliction?" She snarled. "Are you sayin' that bein' Scottish is a disease o' some kind?"

Well, I wasn't going to say anything myself, but... :trollestia:

This is deep fried awesome
Please write more, with a donner kebab or something perhaps?

I like. A lot.

Although I would be interested to see what would happen if McSparkle and Applejack tried to have a conversation with thickened accents.
Everypony else would likely need a translator, especially Rarity

"Affliction?" She snarled. "Are you sayin' that bein' Scottish is a disease o' some kind?"

Umm... yes?

You should have had her try to play tennis.

Brilliant story, Owen is gonna love it. :D

Random and funny. Just like a real Scott, I couldn't understand a damn thing Twilight was saying. I guess the equivalent would be Trixie Tries Big Red Soda and she starts to sound like Applejack because it's a Texas soda.


I reminds me of the time my Brit Friend Eric kept on talking about how great Irn Bru is and I live in the States, but my local grocery store has a section of food from the UK and Irn Bru just happened to be there, I bought a bottle and I was like it's okay. It cost way too much for what it is, like I'd buy it if it didn't cost $4 bucks when similar soft drinks cost $1.50.

I remember trying this stuff. Needless to say, it ended poorly.

Lol. This needs sequel :trollestia: Good stuff. Everything is better with bagpipes and Scottish accent.

2870195 Big Red is awesome and don't you EVER forget that.... nice and sweet

I meant nae offence tae ma fellow Scots, a'richt?

I meant no offence to my fellow scots alright?

...Applejack's accent is NOT any form of Texan accent. It's closer to Kentucky or Tennessee, but it is very, very much NOT a Texan accent.

"Affliction?" She snarled. "Are you sayin' that bein' Scottish is a disease o' some kind?"

A terminal one!

I'm not knocking Big Red, hell I was psyched as all hell when my last job had a vending machine that sold it in can form. I like the Blue flavor the best.

2870516 haven't tried that one yet....

Heh, I didn't think it was possible to make me like Twilight more but her speaking in a Scottish accent did it. Congratulations. Also, I enjoyed the story a lot. No need for 'English' translations because I felt her lines were more than understandable to anyone.

Spike's lucky she didn't pull a claymore through. :twilightangry2:

That was fucking genius mah lad! I want some of this Irn Bru now......:yay:

Ah, you should've had Twilight make some comment about Nessie. I don't know why or how but if you're using stereotypes it should've been put in.

You sir, are a true legend. :heart:

Hilarious and totally believable :rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss: Approved for Twilight's Library.

o flaur uh Sco'lan', when well we see, yer liek ug'n, tat fot n' died fer, yer wee bitill n'glen...

I can't wait for the sequel: Twilight Sparkle Tries Buckfast

I could just HEAR Twilight using an accent!:rainbowlaugh:

Brilliant...just brilliant :rainbowlaugh:

I laughed. A lot, laddie. :rainbowlaugh:

mince and tatties

Haggis? Never had one. :twilightsheepish:

I've never had Irn Bru since I live in the US, at least I don't think you can get it here, but I've always wanted to try it. Hopefully it uses sugar rather than hfcs...


I don't know what 'HFCS' is, but I can assure you that Irn Bru does indeed use sugar. :pinkiehappy:

Ah sorry, it's an abreviation. High Fructose Corn Syrup. Some stupid cane sugar replacement we've been putting into our sodas here in America since the 80s T_T

FimFamFilosophy's Spike is the coolest fanon Spike I've ever seen, and here we get to see Twilight behaving even more Scottish! That was a lot of fun. Though I'm a little put off by what Twilight may have done to Spike after she caught him.

I wish I could write dialect as easily as you do.

"Not even Twilight Sparkle can understand the weirdness that is a deep-fried Mars Bar."

Battered Mars bar. I had one once as a dare while at a fun fair... I liked it! :pinkiecrazy:

Good story. Twilight McSparkle made me laugh. :rainbowlaugh:

* All Scots are ginger.

* All Scots know how to play the bagpipes.

* All Scots love mince and tatties.

* All Scots love deep-fried Mars Bars.

don't trust stereo types. they're offensive.


But I'm Scottish, so it's okay for me to make fun of these stereotypes. :twilightsmile:

I dare you to write a follow-up where she pulls a can of this through the portal... :rainbowhuh: :twilightoops:

(Canned. Vegetarian. Haggis. :pinkiesick: Those three words should not be anywhere near each other.)

2923213 ok then. logic.

but, if you play tf2, then you'd know all scots aren't ginger. demo has black hair. just saying.


I'm talking about stereotypes which apply to REAL Scots, not virtual ones.

Also, Pyro is best class.

2927665 fair enough.

and pyro might be best, but i play scout.

Hey, bagpipes aren't all bad... AC/DC used them in "It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Rock 'n' Roll)", after all. :rainbowlaugh:

And no, you're not getting an English translation

why would i even ask for a translation? that sounded like a drunk me trying to speak English, i.e. totally understandable.

Upon repeating the experiment with the rest of the mane six as witnesses, the library is struck by lighting. The following occurs.

Twilight gets another bottle of Irn Bru.
Rainbow gets a short film of the RB71 Blackbird
Rarity gets one of Liberace's outfits.
Applejack gets a jug of Kentucky moonshine from way back in the hollers.
Fluttershy gets a half crazed Mississippi squirrel.
Pinkie Pie gets films of Carnival in Rio.

The resulting mayhem requires Celestia and Luna to stop it, and Discord to understand it.

Sorry these things just hit me at times I'll go have a little Kentucky lighting that'll fix everything.

I've had the pleasure of trying Irn Bru once in my life. I desperately wish to repeat that pleasure. In any case, it was quite the enjoyable story.

2923213 Hello from the other side of the Scottish border then ;)

All I can say mate is that I pished myself laughing. 10/10 ya wee fudd.


Awa' and dinnae ca' me a fud, ya wee fanny, or I'll hammer fuck oot ye. :rainbowlaugh:

What the heck is "Irn Bru"?

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