Wedding Crashers (24)
Wedding Crashers
"Hey Shy, hey Dash, how's it going? Only two weeks left! Are you excited? I'm excited."
"Are you okay Shady? You're acting a little like Pinkie Pie." Dash asked.
"It's just I haven't been this happy since I got out of that rock. We're getting married in two weeks! Can you believe it?" He replied.
"I know! Who would of thought that me and Fluttershy would be settling down, and with the same guy!" She replied.
"I don't think it's settling down Rainbow, because we're still going to do fun things, just, together now." Fluttershy responded.
"Darn right. I was thinking, maybe, after the wedding, we could go to that field on the other side of the world and have a picnic. I'd have to carry Fluttershy though. In fact, I could probably carry both of you there, and you could hold the food and stuff." Fluttershy began bouncing excitedly, which was quite frankly strange behaviour for her. Then again, she had been steadily opening up, becoming less shy, and more assertive, and happy, for a while now, so it wasn't surprising.
"Can we Dash? I mean, I know it's kind of a special spot for the two of you......." She asked.
"Of course we can, remember, I'm marrying both of you, and you're marrying him AND me. We'll share everything. Besides, you'll really like it. It's just, so peaceful. It makes you want to lay there and just soak up the sun, covered by hundreds of butterflies, the sound of the creek, the tall grass. It's just..... nice." Rainbow said. Nightshade looked at her and raised an eyebrow. It wasn't definite, but they were both starting to act a little strange. Then again, they had been starting to go this way for a while now. Maybe their personalities were just.... balancing out?
"Well Rarity, I don't know, at least you're acting normal." Nightshade said.
"Dear, are you sure you're no just nervous about getting married? Oh, what's the term you used... cold feet? while I do agree that Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack's behaviours have definitely changed, Applejack's I chalk up to working too hard. She really does work herself to the bone. Pinkie is well, she's as random as it gets, so it shouldn't really be surprising. She might just be sore after that dreadful two weeks. I truly feel sorry for Braeburn, trying to keep up with her. As for Twilight, I'm not sure. Perhaps it's Macintosh's personality rubbing off on her? She doesn't worry about a thing now that he's around, and maybe she's trying to express herself?" Rarity had several good points. She may be all high class and fashion, but she has a good head on her shoulders. Comes from being a business pony. She knows what's what. Still, it sounded like she was just making excuses.
"Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have been slowly and steadily heading that way for years now, and are still working out the..... kinks.... in their personalities. They've finally stopped being fillies, and are full grown mares. Of course they're going to start slowing down, becoming more mellowed out." She explained.
"True enough. Thank's Rarity. By the way, how are things working out with Blueblood?"
"Well, he's not a romantic interest. He's a friend now, a good friend, but he's not what I'm looking for in a life partner. I kind of wish I had given Spike more of a chance, but as always, you're right. I only want what I can't have." She said with a sigh.
"Don't worry about it, you'll find somepony perfect for you. You just need to look around a bit more. Maybe, travel a bit? You certainly aren't going to find the man.... stallion, of your dreams just sitting around in Ponyville. Then again, have you really looked? I mean, Dr. Clockwork is nice, albeit a bit eccentric, but always a snappy dresser. He's refined, and takes his work seriously." He suggested.
"Are you trying to set me up with him?" Rarity raised an eyebrow at her human friend.
"Well, just maybe he happened to mention that he might possibly think he likes you." He paused. "You didn't hear it from me!"
"Well, maybe I should look into it. After all, I haven't actually looked around. I was kind of hoping my prince charming would fall into my lap. Perhaps you're right. Maybe I should take looking for a partner more seriously. By the way, would you like to see your suit?" She was attempting to change the subject. He let it slide. After making sure it fit properly, he headed back to the cottage to find Rainbow Dash laying on the floor, snuggling the four baby bunnies, with Angel and Valentine standing on Tank's shell.
"Well, hey Rainbow, what'cha doin?" Shade asked.
"Well, Fluttershy is going a bit loopy right now. Can you believe it? She's trying aerial tricks. I have to say, she's pretty graceful. I'm just watching the bunnies while she does it. I have to say, they are pretty cute. Not as awesome as you though Tank, you don't have to worry about getting replaced." She explained.
"Uh oh. I better go find her."
"Hey Shady! Look what I can do!" Fluttershy said, doing a triple backflip.
"Woohoohooo!" She said, not in her soft 'woohoo, did my cheering do that?' voice, but in a full blown, actual cheer.
"Impressive. Did Dash teach you that?" He asked.
"Yep! I may not be as fast, but I'm a lot more graceful! Oh hey! Can we go really really really fast? I wanna break the sound barrier again! Pretty please?" The normally timid and shy pegasus was as hyper as Pinkie Pie, and started talking like she usually did. He agreed, and they took off towards Manehatten, leaving a black and pink trail behind them.
"Ooh! The big city, I haven't been here in a long time! Want to go shopping?" She asked.
"Sure we can go shopping, but, I have a question. Are you feeling okay? You seem a little, different. More, happy? I mean, it's not a bad thing. I like to see you happy. But remember when I first got out, and I was abnormally happy, and you were worried about me? It's kind of the same." He asked nervously.
"Of course I'm alright! I'm better than alright! I'm having a great time! I'm super duper looper!" The fact that she was now using Pinkie Pie's mannerisms, (ponyrisms?) was a little unnerving, but if she said everything was okay, then everything was okay. They went shopping for a bit, but didn't buy anything. Fluttershy was pouting like an anime teenager because she didn't see anything she liked. He brought her home to find Rainbow snoozing on the couch with Valentine and the four baby bunnies held tightly under her left wing. Angel patted the cyan mare gently on the head, brushing her mane. When he saw Fluttershy come in, he was pleasant, until Shade left. Then he bopped Fluttershy upside the head, and acted out,
'What's the matter with you girl? You've been wonky all day!'
"I guess I'm just excited to be getting married. My heart's all a flutter!" She squeaked in joy. Angel wasn't buying it.
"Okay, fine, if two weeks after the wedding, I still haven't calmed down, I'll go to the doctor to see what's up, okay?" Angel nodded in approval, then proceeded to scarf down a glazed carrot.
"Welp, today's the day! I'm getting married!" Nightshade said with a slight eye twitch.
"Nervous?" Rarity asked.
"Oh, not at all. I'm only marrying the two loves of my life, and I don't want anything to go wrong. Applejack will fall asleep during the ceremony, so that's not too bad, and Soarin is looking out for her. Pinkie Pie will probably say 'I OBJECT!' when we reach the 'Speak now or forever hold your piece' part, and Twilight is liable to start throwing pies at the reception. Everything is just peachy! Oh, and Celestia is the one who's marrying us, so it's not like it's a big deal. I can't remember my speech which I spent hours preparing. Then there's Discord, who I'm praying to whoever ponies pray to that he doesn't show up, my feathers are all out of order, and I'm ready to just rip them all out so they'll lay flat!"
"Sarcasm is not flattering on you...." Rarity said with a scowl.
"Sorry, it's just..." He was cut off.
"It's the biggest night of your life, and countless things could go wrong? I've been to plenty of weddings, and I've seen it all. Well, maybe not all of it. If Discord shows up, you'll just kick him into next month like last time. Both the princesses, and we six bearers of harmony, while still in possession of our harmony trait, plus you. Braeburn is out of the hospital, and has been having a difficult time stopping Pinkie from eating dirt along with the grass, but he's managed to keep her under some degree of control. Big Mac will keep Twilight in line. We're all looking out for you. Just in case, I had Lyra memorize your lines. So just do that psychic thing and let her walk you through it. You'll be FINE. Your feathers are all ruffled because you can't settle down. Now take a deep breath, and let me cut that disobedient hair of yours."
"Thanks Rarity, I'd be totally lost today if it weren't for you. I just can't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to go wrong."
"My dear little ponies, we are gathered here today to bind these three forever in marriage, if any wish to object to their union, speak now, or remain forever silent in your denial of their bond. Pinkie was struggling to speak, but Braeburn had his hoof in her mouth, which she was chewing on.
"Then let the ceremony begin." Celestia motioned to Nightshade, wearing a tuxedo.
"Fluttershy, you are kind, caring, and beautiful. I lived in constant pain, and you were the one to share my burden. You took me in when I had nowhere to go. You gave me back my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Shade then turned to Dash.
"Rainbow Dash, you are brave, loyal, and fierce. When I was weak, you protected me, and you helped me to become strong. You lifted me when I was too weak to stand on my own. You challenged me to become a better person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Celestia then turned to Rainbow Dash, wearing a faded multicolour dress, like a wedding dress, but with rainbow undertones.
"Nightshade, you are so strong, and challenged me to become the best I can be. You made me fly higher and faster, and yet, you were always there to catch me when I fell. You gave me my dream, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Dash said, before turning to Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, you are my oldest and best friend. We have always been together. When I flew, I flew for you. When I fought, I fought for you. I lived my life to help you in your time of need, but when I crashed, when I fell, when I was in pain, you were the one to come to me. You treated my wounds, your tender words washing away the harshness of the world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Finally, Celestia turned to Fluttershy, wearing a leaf green dress, much like her gala dress, but done wedding style.
"Rainbow Dash, you have been my friend for my entire life, when I was down, it was you who cheered me, when I was scared, you protected me. You have always been there for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Finally, Fluttershy turned to Nightshade.
"When we first met, I was filled with fear. I would shy away from danger, from friends, from anything unknown. You showed me the wonders of the world. You made me confident, and made me feel safe. While I was kind to others, you were the one who showed kindness to me. You gave everything for me, for us. Now that you've been given your life back, I would be honoured to spend the rest of my life, with you." The three looked deeply into each other's eyes.
"As the godess of night, and matron of the love that blooms under the stars, I know that the words they speak are the truth. I hereby entwine the fates of these three to each other, that they may forever live in love and harmony. You may now seal your union with a kiss." Luna spoke. Normally, weddings were done by an official marriage counselor, but given who was getting married, the princesses themselves decided to do the honours. The trio kissed, all at once. Cameras flashed, Pinkie began crying in happiness into Braeburn, and Applejack woke up, gave a few stomps in approval, then fell back asleep.
"The ceremony is complete." Celestia boomed, grabbing the attention of all present. "Now, without further adieu, let's PARTY!"
Nightshade, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash smiled. They were married. This was the beginning of their new lives together. They went to the reception, which was in a clearing in the Everfree. It had been prepared before hand to be protected from monsters, and every guest wore a flower from the wolf tree. The normally dank and dreary forest seemed to come alive with light, being blessed by both the royal sisters, as well as the love of the newlyweds. Many photographs were taken, which Fluttershy seemed to dislike.
'Well, at least that's normal.' Shade thought. 'Nothing went wrong, everyone is behaving themselves. Maybe this feeling in my gut is nothing....'
"Why hello there everypony! You're dashing and handsome hero has arrived, to rescue you from the thralls of boredom!" A very familiar voice spoke.
"Discord, you've resorted to being a wedding crasher? Show some class." Celestia spat.
"Wedding? What wedding? Did somepony get married?" The confused serpent asked. Everyone present just face hoofed and pointed at the newly weds.
"You three? My beloved little chaotic creation and two of the elements of harmony? Oh happy day! Finally settling down. Wait, that's not good. Finally getting riled up I see? So, are those two any good in bed? Also, I can't help but notice that I didn't get an invitation....." Discord said in a dark and sinister tone. Everypony present looked nervous, but Nightshade rolled with it.
"Ah, well, when you go into hiding and don't tell anyone where you are, things like that tend to just get lost in the mail.........." He replied in an equally serious tone. Celestia asked him about it in his head, to which he replied, 'Let's not piss him off till we've found out what he wants.' The tension between the two was so thick you could cut it, everyone waiting for the conflict that would inevitably break out.
'Not good, there's a whole bunch of bystanders, and I really don't want to do this on my wedding day.'
"So, Discord. enjoying the party? I hope there's no hard feelings about me beating the snot out of you before. Nightmare just puts everyone in a bad mood I suspect."
"Yes, that must be it. While it could have been a powerful ally for me, it's always just such a downer. I'm actually glad it's gone." They both laughed weakly while looking at each other, but at the same time avoiding eye contact.
"Well dad, I'm gonna go talk to my wives, I know a certain two lovely mares who just can't wait to see you again after all this time!" Discord laughed a little at being called 'dad', although, given their relationship, it was technically true. Nightshade forcefully directed the draconnequuis into a seat between Celestia and Luna, mind speaking 'Keep an eye on him.'
"Ahem, Discord?" Celestia asked.
"Oh my dear Celestia, it's been too long, have you gained weight?" Discord mocked. He was clearly in a good mood.
"Just what is it that you're after?" Luna asked in a serious tone.
"Well, Luny, when you're dear sister boomed 'THE CEREMONY IS COMPLETE!' I woke up from a nice nap, and decided to see what the ruckus was, maybe begin the reign of chaos, have a bit of fun. Then I saw such delightful decorations, and decided, 'Ehh, the end of the world as you know it can wait, let the love birds have some fun.' And so, now I'm here."
"What did you do to the element bearers Discord!" Celestia said, not yelling to disturb the event, but loud enough for him to know she was serious.
"Why, I've done nothing. I noticed that they were a little off, and I was actually hoping you'd tell me, that way I don't recreate the event at some point. Being unoriginal is extremely boring." He explained. Nightshade, who had been in a mental connection with the princesses at the time, while talking with the mane six, spoke to Celestia and Luna's minds.
"Pfft. Hipster." Then in the voice of an old man. "I was spreading chaos BEFORE it was cool." Celestia giggled at the image in her mind of a grumpy old Discord, waving his cane at kids, telling them to get off his lawn, and Luna laughed aloud.
"You find something I say funny?" The spirit of chaos asked, genuinely intrigued as to what they could be laughing at, hoping desperately it was him.
"Us, no, him, yes." Luna said, pointing at the equestrian knight. "I have to say, he has a much better sense of humor. Can you believe there's an entire group of humans called trolls, who do nothing but play tricks on others? Not just any old pranks, classy tricks. Dear sister has taken to it quite fondly."
"Really now? I wouldn't have thought that old stick in the mud Celestia would be in to pranking. Well well well, you learn something new everyday don't you? Also, talking with somepony who's not here is very rude you know." Discord scoffed as Celestia shot Luna a death glare, to which she replied, 'Just trying to stop things from being awkward. The more we can get out of him, the better.' Truth was, Luna just wanted to embarrass her.
"Well then Discord, perhaps I should be here." Shade said, flying upside down above the spirit of disharmony, much the way he himself would talk to others. "I have to say, Pinkie out did herself, the cake is delicious. Try some!" He said, driving a slice of rainbow cake with butterfly icing into his face, smearing it all over his head.
"I do hope you'll behave today. This is a happy occasion, and I wouldn't want anything to ruin it." Shade spoke, his tongue dripping in the venom of his speech, before returning to a chipper mood and heading off to the stage. Spike joined him, and the pair of blood brothers began to sing to their respective mares.
"Karaoke. Vinyl! Hit it!"
Ain't easy bein this kinda lover when you never call my way.
Ain't easy bein this kinda lover, won't you ever call my way?
Well, I'm dedicated, yes I'm a forgiver,
I'm dedicated, sure I'm a giver,
I'm dedicated YES I'ma a forgiver,
I'll forgive you al-ways
Although I know you turn it on yeah! (turn it on)
Although I know you turn it on yeah! (turn it on)
Although I know you turn it on yeah! (turn it on)
Although I know you turn it on yeah,
TURN IT ON!
You don't wanna know how I manage alone oh no
You don't wanna know what goes on on my own oh no
You don't wanna know how I plan on my own oh no
You don't wanna know how I know when you're on your own
I'll never be alone yeah! (turn it on)
You know I'd follow you to Rome yeah! (turn it on)
I know the places you call home yeah! (turn it on)
You know I'll get you on your own yeah,
TURN IT ON!
You know I know where you are
You know I know where you are
You know,
I can't have another (you turn it on)
I can't stop thinking of you (you turn it on)
If I can't have you then nobody can
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
You Turn it On (you turn it on)
You Turn it On (you turn it on)
You Turn it On (you turn it on)
You know you turn it on yeah
TURN IT ON!
The human dragon duo sang quite well.
Several other songs played, they narrowly avoided a food fight caused by Twilight magically flinging various pies, and Applejack actually woke up and had a good time. Pinkie started her mood swings, but the fact that she was at a party kept her in check, as she still loved parties, and it was impossible for her to be angry or cry at one.
"You know Discord, this kind of chaos, is actually.... fun? If you were like this instead of trying to bring about the apocalypse, things would probably go better for everypony. We wouldn't have to worry about you ending the world, and you could still have fun. Controlled chaos perhaps?" Celestia said.
"Ah, but my dear, the whole point is being out of control, I'm not trying to bring about the end of the world, if it just so happens to be caused by my fun, then so be it. After all, if everything is destroyed, then there's nopony left to prank, but at the same time, then there would be room to make something new." Discord replied.
"What about my world? You made an entirely new species, all throwing around their own brand of chaos. Couldn't you just find some empty dimension, fill it with all your..... wonderful..... chaos and creativity, then move on to another, once in a while, taking the time to stop and watch it all play out?" Shade suggested.
"Well, I have thought about it, but I decided that I have to be done with this one first before I move on. After all, it takes a great deal of effort to make, so why not just spread disharmony on a premade world? I mean, making new worlds, I haven't done that in a long time. That's what all the other Draconnequuis do. You might say I'm a little different." Discord replied.
"So basically, you're lazy." Shade spat.
"Yep, oh, and just because we had fun at this party, doesn't mean we're all going to be buddy buddy from now on. I'm still gonna kill the sisters, and since you're sworn to protect them, and those elements of harmony everypony is so fond of, I'll have to do away with you too. Since you DID just get married, I'll wait three months before I come back. Enjoy them, because after that, you'll be meeting Aurora, and I'll be free to spread my chaos once again." Discord said.
"And I'll be waiting, ready to kick your ass. Three months until the end of the world huh? Nah. Not gonna happen. There have been countless 'end of the world' nutjobs, all of them were wrong. Then again, they didn't have the power to make it happen, and nobody had the power to stop it if it did. That's where the situation differs. I don't know how tough you are, but when we met the last time, I was playing with you. This time, I'll be trying to finish it, and I won't be alone."
With that, Discord poofed away. Celestia and Luna looked worried, and Nightshade looked confident. He explained to the element bearers what was going on.
"Well, we shall defeat that uncouth ruffian once and for all when he returns. I for one, will be glad to have him out of my mane." Rarity said.
"Mmh hmm." Applejack replied lazily, awake and aware of what was happening, but too tired to care at the moment.
"Soarin you really ought to get her some coffee, or a salt lick, or something. If Discord isn't doing it, then I wonder what's causing it?" Shade asked.
"Who cares? We'll kick his flank either way, now that we've got you Shady." Rainbow boasted.
"You know it!" Fluttershy said excitedly.
"The not so great and powerful me would be glad to help." Trixie spoke up. "After all, I owe you all a debt of gratitude."
"I'm gonna mess him up REAL good." Twilight said, her horn smoldering slightly.
"When I'm done with him, I won't be throwing a party, I'll be throwing a funeral..... THEN a party!" Pinkie yelled.
"Is it just me, or did Pinkie get..... scary?"
Sorry it took so long, but this chapter was long, and I had to write Discord. I really wanted it to be good, but it feels like something is missing. If you spot it, please tell me so I can fix it mmmkay? By the way, the song is Turn it on, by Franz Ferdinand. He has good music, go have a listen!
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Two words for how to defeat Discord. Kidney, Punch.
fucking say there preggers already and first
324421well second
Yay, sequel !
Thanks for that
Twilight got pinkie's personality ?
Fluttershy, some of Rainbow and vice versa
AJ the lazibess of Rainbow ?
I must be wrong, but, who knows ?
( Well, the author >.> )
I didn't know the Archduke was a songwriter!
3 letters- P.M.S
PINKAMENA!!!!!!!
yay
324389 Huh...Good idea! Only....
Where is a Draqonequus' Kidney located?
324421
damn you beat me to it.
I think that FRIGGIN GODDESSES would recognized the OBVIOUS signs of pregnancy!!!!!!!
324464 very funny, WW1 joke, haha........
324556 Thou forgettest, the princess of the moon hast been trapped in her domain for an eon, just as the princess of the sun hast been out of social standing with her subjects. At this point, they're still thinking Discord did it, so they haven't actually taken the time to look at it properly. That, and Shade tends to change everyone he's around.......... including them. Still, there will be an explanation, as the princesses have seen it up close, they'll be having a little chat with him.... NEXT CHAPTER.
Just admit they're fucking preggers...
324608 NEXT CHAPTER! I can't just up and do it! I have to write it! I have to make it play out! Obey the scene progression! All glory to the hypnotoad! Wait, where'd that last one come from?
I kinda like 'controlled' Discord, anyway good chapter
My theories on what is missing:
1- the thing that was behind Discord in the previous chapter
2- Discord... Being discordant? Pulling a few pranks? Getting it on with the princesses? (need discord emoticons)
3- a discripitive make-out scene
4- Trolling from Celestia
Did I get it?
One more thing. I feel as if Celestia should be more concerned for the Elements of Harmony. It seems unlike her to brush something so major off. Her going up to her "Most Faithful Student" for a one-on-one conversation to check up (and maybe troll) on her seems more realistic.
EDIT: I see this will occur next chapter. And 5/6 of the Mane 6 with foal? This will be epic...
324535 EVERYWHERE.
"I'll be throwing a funeral..... THEN a party!"
Oh pinkie you never cease to terrify me.
OK Nightshade if you want to have Celestia trolling then you need to teach her binary then have her send a message to TS in binary code with a U MAD? in there.
The mane 6 are all preggers!
Exept rarity because she can't get laid!
Dear god they are all preggo.
Damn Pinkie....this is why I love you period. ^3^
frickyea, new chapter!
i can see at least 15 different outcomes for this and about the same number for reasons why th' mane 6 minus Rarity are acting so weird, ranging from most to least likely.
of course, i won't be sharing any of them, although one of th' reasons involves bad eggs, tapeworm, a pound of feathers, and 16 feet of heavy-duty chain, courtosy of Pinkie.
325095 Yeah, at least I got rage Pinkie down pat.
WOOT! So many possibilities! Must keep reading to find out what discord will do!
....and they gonna miss a period sooner or later, whatever a pony cycle is.
Frieza: where was I? Oh right.
*grabs discord*
Kidney punch, kidney punch,kidney punch, kidney punch.... Aaaannnndddd, kidney punch.
I love pinkie. I love discord as well, he's like the insane uncle I always wished I could plot with.
When they figure out that they're all preggers, can we please have someone jump out with a statement like: Well, the rabbit died. It would make sense, and the reaction from fluttershy would be epic.
324614All Glory to the Hippnotoad.
324614 ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
Hokai, Seriously, Good chapter. And I think I'm rubbing off on pinkie....
NYEH!
FROST!
I'll be throwing a funeral..... THEN a party! pinkie you is nuts
I would SO love to see Discord, Luna/Celestia, and Shade go on a prank spree. It would be so fantastically epic that, well, I wouldn't be able to really describe it with words.
Pretty please?
*gulps* i am afraid discord is going to be faceing the rath of.... CUPCAkES PINKIEPIE!!!
*chesy dun dun dun* 
also yes they are pregnant minus rareity...
discord V.S cupcakes pinkie....
im betting on cupcakes pinkie...
also celsetia was not acting her self when it comes down to seriosu issues...
also i still think nightshade will get jumped by celestia and luna *trollface* eventually.....
324614
Hypnotoad rules us all. Wait must turn it of *reaches for the remote while his eyes are closed*
324421 I got to agree. I do beleive that the girls that are acting wierd its because they are pregnant. Im loving the thought of a pregnant Pinkie Pie. She will be CRAZY beyond crazy :P
341693 when you are being mind raped by Nightmare, you'll believe just about anything.
341878
o.o
Touché.
"Is it just me, or did Pinkie get..... scary?" That is BEAST
324389 To quote "That Freezer guy": Aaaaaannndd... Kidney Punch! Kidney Punch! Kidney Punch! Kidney Punch! Wait for it... Kidney Punch!
that last line was surprisingly scary
Preggers.
324966 Or send that to SETI
747925 eeyup
This line make me lmao.