Aftermath (23)
Aftermath
I told you all in the last chapter to guess where the next one would be. I never said it would be in the clop fic. I just said to guess, and you ALL guessed wrong. Trololo. Let's begin the story shall we?
"Well that was....."
"It was......"
"Well, I mean, it wasn't THAT bad."
"Maybe it was normal, and we're just used to over the top amazing?"
"Yeah, that's it."
The trio sat on the bed, thoroughly disappointed in how they had performed.
"Well, I guess mating season is officially over." Dash spoke up. "Two weeks of fantastic sex, followed by another year of no drive at all."
"Wait a minute, if almost all of it happens during those two weeks, then how come there are spring, fall, and winter birthdays?" Nightshade asked.
"Well, earth ponies babies only take nine months to grow, while pegasi and unicorns take a full year, given that they need more development. The rest all depends on whether the season happens at the start of spring or the end." Fluttershy explained, knowing the most about child growth and care.
"So you mean that there are almost no summer birthdays?" Shade asked.
"That's right, except for a few cases, there are none." Shy responded.
"That doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all the rest of the time, and there's still romance, cuddling, and all that. It's just, it's never quite the same as during the season."
"Well, even if that's true, I still love both of you. That just means we can have other kinds of fun the rest of the time, like picnics, skiing, nature walks, aerobatics, whatever you two want to do. Relationships are more than just sex." (Something a great many humans have forgotten)
After helping Fluttershy with the animals, specifically four brand new bouncing baby bunnies, checking in on Braeburn and Pinkie, as she could now walk, and picking up the wedding jewelery from the craftspony, Nightshade headed to Rarity's.
"Ah, no, sorry, you can't come in!" The door to Carousel Boutique slammed in his face as he tried to open it.
"Why not?" he asked.
"No seeing the wedding dresses before the wedding! You only have two weeks to go. I'm working with Rainbow right now. Don't fret dear, I have your suit already made, as well as Fluttershy's, no need to worry at all. You can come and pick it up tomorrow. Now Rainbow, hold sti....*rrrrriiiiiip* oh dear, that's a problem." The unicorn said sounding frantic.
"Err, I'll come back later." He decided to go to the hospital.
"So Pinkie, how's Braeburn doing?"
"Oh he's doing just great! He'll be out just in time for the wedding, isn't that just super duper? I'm feeding him lotsa cakes and candies and pies!" The pink mare had regained her usual mannerisms as she was no longer feeling guilty about paralyzing her special somepony.
"You know, he'd heal a lot faster if you gave him some leafy greens, and some fruit and dairy too. Lots of iron and calcium." Shade tried convincing.
"Oh silly, he get's enough of that from the hospital, he'll be out in no time. It's weird though, I wonder why I didn't end up in the hospital too. I guess it's just cause I'm bouncy!" She said, bouncing on her head, using her puffed up mane as a trampoline.
"You know Pinkie, maybe YOU should eat some more vegetables too, it's a lot healthier than all that sugar." He suggested.
"Are you calling me FAT?!?!?!? You are aren't you! How dare you! Get out!" Pinkie began to yell, her mane becoming spiky.
"But I didn't say......"
"OUT!"
Nightshade quickly left the room, actually afraid of the pink ball of hyper that suddenly turned to rage.
"Oh no! I yelled at him. I shouldn't have done that. He was just trying to be helpful as always." Pinkie began to cry, Braeburn pulled her into a hug.
'I wonder where that came from.' Nightshade and Braeburn thought at the same time. Shade continued to walk through town, going to his various friends and having a look at them.
"Hey Spike, hey Firebolt, I trust you had a good time as well this season?"
"Sure did!" Said the mare, igniting into flame briefly as she bounced in the air like Pinkie.
"Dude, she's like a wildfire. We had to shelter in a cave or else we would have burned the forest down." Spike said, obviously satisfied with how things went.
"Well, I'm glad you two got together, you're perfect for each other, and not just cuz of the fire." He replied.
"You made quite a ruckus that one day with Dash. We could hear her all the way out in the forest. And the sonic rainboom, oooh the vibrations....." Firebolt closed her eyes remembering.
"Well, glad to see that you two are normal, something's up with Pinkie." He cut her off.
"Dude, it's PINKIE PIE. When is something not up with her?" Spike stated sarcastically.
"I guess you're right. Spike, grab Bolt, I'm headed to Applejacks, then finally Twilight's. You may as well come with, and I know how much she likes flying."
Spike grabbed Firebolt and held her against his stomach. She ignited at the excitement of being able to fly, and all three took off into the air.
"Heya AJ, how are you?" Shade asked.
"I'm doin pretty good. Me and lover boy here are just takin a break. Uuh, this ground is so sooooooft. I just wanna lie here and never get up." She replied.
"Aj, we got work ta do, member?" Big Mac gave her a gentle kick to get her up.
"Ow, hey! I'm gettin already! Geez. I swear Big Mac, I don't know what's goin on in yer head sometimes." The for some reason lazy farm pony snapped.
"I should get going back to school, them fillies and colts don't teach themselves." Soarin said flying off.
"That Soarin sure is good with the yunguns." Aj commented, before slowly walking out into the orchard. Nightshade, Spike, and Firebolt then headed to the library to see Twilight. On the way, they started talking.
"Okay, did anyone else think that was beyond weird?" Nightshade asked.
"Yep. A lazy Applejack? I wonder what the heck is wrong with her." Spike replied.
"You said Pinkie was acting different too right?" Firebolt questioned.
"Yeah, she seemed, well, she seemed fine at first, but then suddenly snapped when I told her she should eat stuff besides cake and ice cream. She thought I was calling her fat."
"That is weird. So we have a spazzy Pinkie Pie, and a lazy Applejack. What's next?" Spike wished he had never opened his mouth.
"Twilight! Oh, wow, look at this mess, books all over the place! I'll get started cleaning up. Wanna help Shade?" The dragon said on entering the library, looking like a tornado had been through it.
"Alright, I'll stack the books, you sort them and put them away. I don't know anything about the system in here, so I'll leave that to you." As they began putting the books away, Twilight walked over, and purposefully knocked them off their shelves.
"Oops." She said with a smirk.
"Hold on, I'll get them." Spike said desperately trying to clean up the mess, as he knew how obsessive the purple mare was.
"Pfft, don't bother. I like it much better this way." To which the trio of guests replied.
"WHAAAAAAT?"
"I need to make a good mess now and then. It's just so... liberating."
"Spike, Firebolt, if I can have a word with you?" Shade asked.
"Okay, Twilight is definitely not herself. She want's to make a mess? Fine. We'll bring to to Sweet Apple Acres where she can make all the mess she wants, digging up the dirt and planting apple seeds. There's no way the library can function like this, and you'll end up dying from overwork Spike. I'll knock her out and bring her there. Big Mac will probably be happy to have her around, and they could use the help since Aj is like that." They all agreed on the plan.
"Nighty night, Twilight."
After dropping her off with Mac, waking her up, and giving her instructions, Nightshade took Aj back to the library.
"Here's a nice quiet place for you to sleep Aj, you're probably just tired from working so much. It's not much, but nobody will interrupt you here. Spike, Firebolt, make sure she get's up to eat something at least. I'm gonna go deal with Pinkie Pie."
"Um, hi Pinkie?" He said cautiously.
"Oh hi Shady. I'm sorry I got mad at you before, I know you didn't mean anything by it." The pink pony replied.
"I'm so glad you're doing okay. Applejack and Twilight...... well, they're not acting like themselves. Twilight became messy, and Aj became lazy."
"Are you insulting my friends!?!?!?!" She began yelling again.
"No no no, not at all, I'm just worried about them. This isn't like them. They're acting different. YOU'RE acting different. You're normally happy as can be, but you snapped at me twice already today."
"Oh no. I'm so sorry. I've been a bad pony and a bad friend. I should just curl up in a ball and let nopony see me." She did just that.
"Hey now, I'm not mad, I'm just worried about all of you. I haven't seen any changes in Dash or Fluttershy, Spike, Firebolt, and Rarity are acting normal as well. I just want to figure out what's happening." He said, putting his hand on Pinkie's mane.
"You're sooo nice and.... even though I yelled." She sniffed.
"Hey, I know what'll cheer you up. Maybe you could think about the wedding party we're gonna have. You like parties right?" He said, desperate to make her stop crying.
"Of course I like parties dummy!" She said, her mane going back to normal again. "Ooh, I can't wait. All the decoration, and the rainbow butterfly theme, and the food, and the....."
"Okay Pinkie, I'm gonna go. Take care of Braeburn okay?"
Nightshade flew home, finding Dash and Fluttershy.
"Please tell me you two are normal." He said with pleading eyes.
"Of course we're normal. I just finished pulling off a wicked triple corkscrew, and Fluttershy is taking care of the baby bunnies. Why?" Rainbow asked.
"Thank goodness. Applejack suddenly went lazy, and is sleeping in the library. Twilight became obsessed with making messes, so she's helping out at the farm in place of Aj and Braeburn, and Pinkie, well, she's got mood swings. She went from happy to yelling to crying and back all in under a minute. Now I know she is random at times, but this is ridiculous, and it's a different kind of random. Rarity is fine though, same with Spike and Firebolt. I'm just glad you two are okay."
Shade breathed a sigh of relief. At least not everyone was going crazy. He flew back to the library to find that Spike and Firebolt had very carefully sorted and shelved all the errant books.
"Glad you got it all cleaned up. I had to go check on all the others. Sorry I couldn't help ya. Do you think you can take a letter to the princess for me? I could write it myself, but I know how much you like to do it." He teased his brother dragon. He knew Spike HATED writing, but it was a test to see if he was normal as well.
"Very funny, fine, I'll write it, but only because you're my brother."
Dear Princess Celestia
Today I learned that everyone has a bad day once in a while, and may start acting differently, but even so it's important to be there for them when they need them, even if they don't think they need you.
Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie have started acting strangely, With Twilight suddenly no longer caring about messes, and purposefully starting a few. Applejack has become exceedingly tired, and Pinkie Pie is having mood swings. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash however, are all fine. Firebolt, Spike, and myself are also normal. I am wondering what might be the cause of their behavioural change. If the bearers of the elements become ill, it represents a problem in security, as we are still unaware of the Discord situation. Please write back should any developments occur.
Sincerely, Nightshade.
"Okay, send it, and thanks again Spike." The dragon blew his green flames on the letter, which turned it to a wisp of smoke and carried it into the distance. After five minutes of idle chatter between the three, Spike suddenly burped up a letter.
Dear Nightshade,
Prepare for teleportation.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
No sooner did he read that did he mentally prepare himself, attempting to hold down his lunch against the yet to happen dizziness of a location change. A flash of light, and he found himself in the Canterlot throne room.
"Celestia, Luna, is it important? Have you found something?" He asked once his head stopped spinning.
"We are not sure. I believe it may be an attempt by Discord at destabilizing the element bearers. He's done such a thing before, and if that's the case, then it means he's preparing to make his move. As we cannot understand his motives, we brought you here for your input." Luna explained.
"Do you think it's him? We haven't found any signs of chaos, but he may just be going the subtle route, taking care of the threats first." Celestia asked.
"Well, it's too early to tell. The only way to know for sure is if all six of them start acting strange. I probably won't because I've got Nightmare's power to shield me from anything he might do, but if all of them do, then I can say with absolute certainty that it is him causing it. That's the problem, I can predict chaos, but only if I have enough information. I don't have enough. All I know is that if all six of the element bearers go bonkers, that it is definitely him. Right now, it may or may not be. He might think that simply getting half of them is enough. They haven't turned gray or anything, and they still have their element trait. Aj is still honest, Twilight is still magic, and Pinkie is still laughing, unless she's angry or crying, but still most of the time laughing." He explained.
"Well, then, it is your duty to keep track of them, and report any findings on their conditions to us. Do not fail us, Sir Nightshade. By the way, your stipend. I know you said you didn't want it, that you wanted to work for your bits, but as a knight of Equestria, you are working to preserve the peace." Celestia said, levitating a bag of the coins over to him.
"What have I done to preserve the peace? I don't recall working." The winged human asked.
"Oh? Assisting the royal family in dealing with their personal problems before they affected the general populous, despite your qualms about it due to the nature of the issue? You did us a great service, and have earned it." Luna replied with a sultry smirk. He took the bag while thinking something along the lines of 'Great, I'm the royal prostitute now', gave a bow, then left.
Meanwhile
"Aha, here it is. Think you can hide from me? Clever, but I'm more clever...er. Just a sec, ah, yes, there it is. Now get in here, I don't want you messing things up." Discord laughed as he teleported away.
"Hmm, here looks like a nice spot. I think I'll make this cave my base of operations. It's spacious, perfect for my needs. Now I just need a sofa and a spy glass so I can watch the mayhem." He conjured a large couch, then proceeded to bring up a large crystal. He checked on the six, and had a look of surprise.
"Twilight making a mess? But she's always so uptight. A single speck of dirt makes her cringe! Applejack sleeping on the job? Pinkie Pie, ah, my dear Pinkie Pie..."
"I'm GONNA KICK YOUR FLANK DISCORD!" Pinkie yelled, looking off at nowhere. Braeburn was starting to have second thoughts. Perhaps Pinkie did need to be in a hospital, but not for any injury or illness.
"Euugh, okay, that's no good." He shuddered as he turned off his looking glass. The loud yell from the perilously precarious pink party pony echoed through the cavern. Suddenly, the draconnequuis heard a very loud growl behind him.
"Uh oh."
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They're all PREGGERS!
..... Mood swings after 2 weeks of sex..... -_- kinda obvious man. Also, imah take a guess at what attacked Discord. Ursa?
311007 Somehow I didn't even consider that! :hattip:
311007
Y U BE ruining the story for me!!!
Wait... Didn't Twilight and Big Mac specifically say the did NOT do it? How can Twilight be pregnant, and the end of the chapter proved it wasn't Discord messing with them. Did Twilight and Big Mac lie or something?
The mood swings are kind of a give away for them being pregnant, but Twilight being pregnant is just confusing.
B-But-....WHAT!? I thought That
HOW!?
....Ugh...I need a nap.
If it's not Discord that's making them act weird, then Twi, Applejack, and Pinkie are:
1- Pregnant!
2- Being possed by the latest Equestrian supervillian!
3- Evolving!
4- Preparing SELF-DESTRUCTION!!!
5- All of the above
Pinkie Pie will grind the pelvises of all who clop to her!
311083
Bring it on Pinkie! I've got BALLS OF LONSDALEITE
Preggo pinkie?
farm6.staticflickr.com/5161/5290739784_1b6d5fdf0a_z.jpg
Oh my! Three of the girls have gone bonkers and I just found out that Discord isn't causing them to do it! Whatever could have possibly happened to them? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*
Also, the alliteration at the end there made the whole chapter. This grammar nazi approves.
311119
First comes the mood swings
Next comes the Muffin cravings
Then the mom finds out she's pregnant
Finally, she pays 20,000 dollars to kill the baby
311134
Lonsdaleite, also called hexagonal diamond in reference to the crystal structure, is an allotrope of carbon with a hexagonal lattice. In nature, it forms when meteorites containing graphite strike the Earth. The great heat and stress of the impact transforms the graphite into diamond, but retains graphite's hexagonal crystal lattice. So it is still scientifically possible for Pinkie to crumble your pelvis, even if it is made of diamond.
The thing behind Discord is either:
!. Pinkie Pie
2. Ursa Minor and or Major
3. Pinkie Pie
4. Pinkie Pie
5. Pinkie Pie
6. Tom
It can only be one.....
Spiky hair? Did it turn gold??
Nightshade? What's her rage level?
IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAANND!!
311063 Note that Nightshade thinks they were lying.
311164
Na she can only crush puny calcium, if she can't crush Duke Nukems there no hope for crushing mine!
i must ask if you're going to be introducing Anarchy into the story, she seems really popular on 'three of me vs high school' and 'living the dream' and she seems like a pretty good plot twister.
(you COULD introduce ME)
... i have no response for that... ou growl all the time and i can imagine discord being severly afraid of you, you don't like to cause chaos, but you can torture like no other... (especially with your rhymes)
did you just insult my rhymes?!
ummmmmm, no?
311295 you are aware this is PINKIE we're talking about, she can defy the laws of physics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD ATOMIZING DIAMONDS BE DIFFERENT?!?!?!?!
311083 o.O how would twi?!?! she didn't do 'it' with Big Mac!!!!!!!!
it's impossible for her to crush my pelvic bones!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!
311411
Because the air is now made of diamonds...
PLUS + MY DIAMONDS REGENERATE FASTER THAN SHE CAN THRUST, WHICH IS 299 792 458 ms^-1
Suck on that Einstein
311437 it's pinkie, she could atomize the diamonds in ONE THRUST!!!!!!!!!!
311439
Did I forget to mention THE FOURTH WALL STABLISERS orbiting around my dick?
311442 she would eat them... and they would mysteriously stop functioning, SHE CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!!
she really can, i would know, i'm married to pinkamena...
Meh I thought it would have something to do with pregnancy but its impossible since Twi didn't get laid. AND LOL princess trollestia !
Well babies are pure chaos...
...i can see three possible outcomes to this.
not that i'll be sharing ant of those of course.
Wait pinkie vs. Discord? i think? seems legit.
311645 I'm gettin there. It's all leading up to it. The fic is almost over.
311069 they lied.
look out they caught pregnancy.
People are saying
didn't do it, but if anyone read they said it was obvious they were lying............silly readers
Well played sir can't wait to see where you will go with this.
:)
312448 Well that's a shame... XD Twas a good tale.
315125 I do have a short something planned as a sequel, it's basically Nightshade going emo about 6 thousand years after.....
I am Nightshade! The keeper of peace, Manipulator of life, A force of nature, The most interesting man in two dimensions, A well of knowlegde, The protector of harmony...... and the royal prostitute.
317254 Epic win, I was wondering whether you would bother to tackle that at all. Would you like to hear my one wish, or rather, the wish I want the most? Relates to this btw, it's not just random.
318617 eh, kay
319096 XD lololololol anyway, my wish would be to outlive everyone, so no-one but me has to ever be alone.
311119 If you're a pony in my fic they do, more from the hormone change in prep tho. I've actually seen it in some human's though. My step sister went totally bonkers and everyone else in the family is like..... 'Boy or girl?'
311015 Majorly...
311136
I demand that actual sign.
311442 you comments are entertaining
311179 there can be only one.... the highlander...
I suppose if there was a clopfic about spike and firebolt the title would be "Some Like It Hot"
311445
I trained her you know Big Mac as well they dissapoint me no inginuity of whatsoever