1-A Scene of Introduction
Chapter 1
The room was almost perfectly silent as the morning sun shone through the window.
The light played on the furniture—a few bookshelves, a pair of bedside tables, and of course, a bed. The beams of sunlight slowly crept their way up the forms of the married figures that lay snuggled up under the covers, threatening to waken them.
The only sound in the room was the light snoring of the two sleeping unicorns. The first, on the left side of the bed, was obviously female. Her messy lavender mane with fuchsia highlights sticking out this way and that spoke of a severe case of bedhead, and did a poor job of hiding her horn. At the base of her right ear, a small, simple golden earring hung, glinting in the soft morning light.
The second unicorn, a stallion, had white fur and a black mane. His own black locks were just as messy as the mare’s and louder snores were definitely emanating from his open mouth. His left ear had a matching earring, and his forelegs, which ended in gold-colored hooves, were wrapped around the mare protectively.
Their snores were suddenly interrupted by a sudden, overly peppy song cutting through the air.
The mare groaned, followed by the ring of magic filling the air as a silver, disembodied hand, made entirely from mana, picked up the source of the noise.
An iPod.
The stallion rolled over, getting closer before kissing the mare on the cheek. “Come on, Twilight, time to get up.”
“I don’t wanna...” the mare whined in a sleepy slur.
The stallion smiled, before another magical hand rolled her over. “It’s time to get up, Twilight,” he repeated.
She slowly opened her eyes, revealing the beautiful purple orbs underneath. “Do we have to?” she asked.
“Yes. Yes, we do.”
She wrapped her hooves around his withers and pulled him into a kiss. “Are you sure we can’t stay here, in bed, all day long?” she asked, putting on the best seductive face she could muster at this hour.
He chuckled. “Tempting,” he said, “but there are two issues with that. Firstly, you know that we have to be productive for at least one more day before we take another mini-honeymoon.”
She groaned.
“Second,” he said, before nibbling her ear, “you have a bad case of morning breath.”
She sent him a glare, as well as a mostly playful punch.
He laughed, before getting out of bed and taking the sheets with him.
“Hey!” Twilight cried.
The stallion laughed again. “Got make sure you get up, honey!” he called as he went down the stairs.
Twilight grumbled before picking herself off the mattress and replacing the sheets with ease.
She growled, now fully up. There was no way she’d be able to justify getting back in bed now.
Yawning, she began to follow her husband down stairs, muttering as she went.
But she had fallen in love with him.
As she descended the stairs, she quickly noticed the smell of eggs and coffee begin to fill the kitchen.
At least Alan was a good cook.
Twilight quickly sat down at the kitchen table, and much to the stallions credit, it only took him a minute or so before a plate of eggs was set in front of her.
Sunny side up. Her favorite.
A set of mana hands quickly worked at the stove while another sat next to the coffee pot, its fingers tapping as it waited impatiently.
Yet another set floated in with the mail and newspaper, while Alan himself sat in front of the fridge. “Looks like we’re running low on eggs.”
“Noted,” Twilight said, as she took a bite from her eggs, before flipping through the mail.
“Anything interesting?” Alan asked, as he grabbed two bread slices with another set of hands.
“It doesn’t...” she began. “Oh. You have a letter from one Julius Ironblood.”
“Julius?” Alan asked, as he buttered up the bread before throwing into the pan. “What’s it say?”
Twilight was already skimming through it. “I think it says he still hasn’t found the griffon that attacked you, nor anything about this ‘Iron Crown’ business.”
Alan nodded. “Remind me to send him a response.”
“Right,” she said, as a checklist came to her, shrouded in purple magick.
“Also, remind me to take a look at my iPod.”
Twilight raised her head to look at him. “Why?”
“Well,” Alan said, taking the now toasted bread out of the pan, “I’ve noticed it's begun to play contextually appropriate songs at random times.”
Twilight blinked. “Isn’t it...supposed to?”
“No. No it’s not,” Alan said, buttering the toast. “At best it plays random songs, chosen from a playlist that I create, but lately it’s just sort of randomly burst into song.”
“So...”
“I think maybe all the times you’ve charged it may have given it moderate sentience.”
Twilight blinked. “Should we be worried?”
Alan smirked. “Well, it is an Apple product...” he chuckled before answering seriously, “we should be fine.”
“Percentage of it taking over the world?”
“Less than 5%.”
“Good enough,” Twilight said before going back to her breakfast.
Alan smiled, before pouring sugar and cinnamon onto the toast.
“Today’s Thursday, isn’t?” Twilight asked.
“It is.”
“Dash’s gonna come down for the next Daring Do book today.”
“Good thing we didn’t stay in bed then,” Alan said. “Don’t need Dash flying in on us.”
Twilight nodded. “It wouldn’t be so bad if she actually used the door,” she muttered.
Alan nodded, finishing his toast. “Alright...” he said with a sigh, “time to get ready for the day.”
Twilight nodded, before standing. “And quite the day it will be...”
The two began to head back upstairs, a set of mana hands putting the dishes in the sink.
Then, once they were about halfway up the stairs, Twilight turned to her husband. “Meet you in the shower?”
Alan looked at her and blinked.
He gave her a smile. “After you.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
“Alright...” Alan said as he stood outside in the early spring weather, looking over the list in his mana-hands. “Got eggs, got quills, got milk, got ink...”
His eyes scanned over the list as he mumbled to himself. It seemed like the first eight or so items were groceries, while the next four were things he needed to do. A part of him wasn’t entirely sure he liked Twilight writing down everything he needed to do in the day. After all, it’s not exactly like he needed to be reminded that he needed to check up on the outpost, talk to his friends and then get home and...and...
Alan blinked.
She...she wrote that?
Wow...she was really frisky today.
Rolling up the scroll, Alan continued to walk down the Ponyville streets. He trotted through the small market of the town, heading west past the Town Hall, when a voice called out.
“Well, howdy, Al!” Alan’s head turned to see the Applejack, the town’s local apple farmer behind her stand. Next to her stood her brother, the silent giant Big Macintosh, and the quiet pegasus that everypony knew as Fluttershy.
“Hey, AJ. Hey, Big Mac. Hey, Flutters. How’s it going?” he asked as he walked over to the stand.
“It’s going alright here, ‘specially since Shy here has decided to feed her critters apples.”
“Have you now?” Alan asked.
Fluttershy nodded, her eyes darting to the floor.
“Yeah,” Applejack said with a smirk. “It’s almost like she’s lookin’ for a reason to hang ‘round here, or something...”
Fluttershy blushed, turning her whole face a shade of red that a tomato would be proud of.
Big Mac took a sudden interest in the clouds.
Alan shook his head. “You’re so bad, AJ.”
“Eeyup,” Applejack said, “And there ain’t nothing you can do about it!”
Alan smiled. “Double negative.”
“And there ain’t nothing your fancy grammar can do ‘bout it, neither!”
Alan chuckled.
“By the by...” Applejack said, “Don’t suppose we’re gettin’ Silver back anytime soon, are we?”
Alan nodded. “Mr. Pauldrons should be back on the farm by the end of today.”
The farmer smiled. “Good to hear!” she said.
“Yeah?” Alan asked, raising his eyebrows. “And why is that?”
Applejack faced soured. “Funny. Big Mac here needs some help on the farm gettin’ a stump out of the ground.”
“Sure he does,” Alan said. “I mean, it’s not like you have your eye on him, or anything.”
Now Applejack blushed. “Darn it, Al! Tain’t fair! You already married your crush.”
“And it’s awesome,” he said. “Well, have fun, guys. I need to head on over to the outpost, got stuff to do. Tell you what, though, I’ll send your coltfriend home a little early tonight, just for you, AJ.”
“Hardee Har Har,” she said.
Alan chuckled, before tossing a bit onto their counter. “Have a snack on me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Applejack said, waving him off. “Hey, we doing the picnic Saturday, right?”
“As far as I know.”
“Alright, see ya around, Al.”
“See ya AJ. See ya, Flutters. We on for the card game Sunday, Mac?”
“Eeyup,” the large stallion answered.
“Awesome,” he said, before heading away.
Alan walked away, waving as he began heading towards the newly constructed stone building on the edge of town. He had it commissioned around winter, not much, just a small tower built for defensive purposes. It had taken him a bit of money, a bit of time, and, as much as he hated it, a bit of politics, but he finally had it built.
The smooth marble blocks shone in the morning light, standing tall and proud on a small hill. The Equestrian Battle flag waved in the slight breeze, and a single stallion patrolled the top of the tower. At the base of the round tower stood a square building, with battlements running along the roof.
It was a serviceable building.
I mean, sure, if Ponyville were invaded the town itself would be all kinds of screwed, but at least there would be a nice, marble bastion for the defenders to fight from.
As Alan approached, his chest swelling with pride at the sight of his tower, he suddenly became aware of the sound of flapping wings.
Looking to the left, he saw two very familiar foals locked in a fight.
Well, a spar really.
The two pegasi foals fought fiercely, the grey colt flapping crazily as he fought to stay in the air, while the orange filly did her best to keep him pinned.
The two rolled into his way, and viciously fought in the middle of the road.
“Hey, hey! Hey! Simmer down, you two.”
The two foals looked up at him, before quickly jumping to attention. “Sorry, Mister Alan,” the colt, Rumble said.
“Yeah, sorry,” Scootaloo, the filly repeated.
Alan shook his head. “Look, just keep it in the dojo, okay? We don’t need ponies tripping and ruining a good spar, do we?”
Scootaloo snickered. “No, sir.”
“Good, good,” the Pendragon said, as he walked up next to them. “Got all your school work done?”
The foals sighed, before answering in the most bored voice they could muster. “Yes, sir.”
“Good, good, as you were,” he said as he moved past them. “Oh! One more thing, Scoots.”
“Yes?”
“Go for the wings. Rumble’s using a mobility-focused style. If he stops moving, he’s in trouble.”
The only response he heard was that of a filly tackling a colt.
Alan smiled, continuing down the path before coming up to the small barracks. As he approached, the guard in the tower called down. “Mornin’ sir!”
“Mornin’ Silver, looking good up there?”
“Looking beautiful, Sir.”
“Always good to hear,” Alan said before walking inside.
“Mornin’ Spike,” he said to the large drake that sat at the main desk.
“Mornin’ Al,” Spike answered, before yawning. “Had a good day, so far?”
“So far,” Alan said with a smirk. “Twilight and I had a wonderful time together.”
Spike looked up at him from a stack of paperwork. “And that’s why I moved out.”
“It was a wise choice,” Alan said with a smile. “Got a letter for you to send to the Princess.”
“Right,” Spike said, sounding incredibly disinterested.
“Aw, come on now, Spike. Don’t sound so bored, you’re off at ten.”
“Ten? I thought I was off at noon.”
“I’m feeling generous today,” Alan explained.
"Is that Twilight’s fault?”
“Maybe,” he said through a smile.
Spike sighed.
“We get it, you’re married, you’re having lots of sex, stop rubbing it in our faces.”
“Sorry, Spike. It’s just—”
“It’s just she’s so awesome,” Spike finished, in a mocking tone. “We love each other so much. I can’t believe its almost been a year.”
“I’m feeling less generous the more you speak,” Alan said.
“Point is, we get it, Al,” Spike said.
Alan nodded. “Yeah, yeah, like I said, sorry. How’s Rarity been?”
“She’s been busy, ponies are still going nuts over her wedding dresses.”
“She does make some good ones.”
“Yes, she does,” Spike said with a smile.
“Well, at least her business is taking off,” Alan said, pulling a scroll out from his saddlebags. “You got this for me?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Spike said, grabbing the scroll before sticking it in his mouth like a cigar. “Got a light?” he said, with a smile.
“I believe that’s your department.”
Spike laughed before breathing a jet of green flame, the scroll instantly dissolved into a fine, green mist which disappeared from sight. “What was that, by the way?”
“A response to Julius. He was giving me an update on his search.”
“Any luck?”
“No, not that I saw.”
“Great, because we need more maniacs around the world.”
Alan shrugged. “At least you’re not on my world. Every other major country leader was a maniac. Except they were all trying to get nukes.”
“Nukes?”
Alan paused for a second. “Imagine...imagine a bomb, packed with the fire of ten thousand dragons.”
Spike blinked. “Whoa...”
“Yeah, but worse.”
Spike blinked. “Wow...uh...well...I guess that it’s not so bad here...”
Alan laughed. “No, no its not,” he said with a chuckle. “You’ll let Silver know he can get off early too, won’t you?”
“I guess,” Spike said, as he picked up a stack of papers from the desk.
“Anything important?”
“No, not really, just a few reports from the other bases.”
“Yeah? They doing good?”
“All the ones I read at least. Apparently Trixie has taken over command of the Manehattan base.”
“Oh, that’s going to be good,” Alan said with sarcasm. “Can’t wait for that monthly report.”
“I’m sure,” Spike said with a smirk.
“Alright,” Alan said, finally, “good luck with what you’ve got, leave a note for Dawn and Soarin, just so they don’t freak out when they get here and nopony’s home.”
“Will do,” Spike said, dutifully. “Cards Sunday?”
“You know it,” Alan said, heading out the door.
“Alright, see you whenever.”
“Whenever,” Alan agreed, before stepping outside. As he stepped out, and the Ponyville sun flowed over him, he noticed a song floating in the air.
“‘Cause I love to see you
beam, beam, beam. Yes I do.
Tell me, what more can I say
to make you see that I do?
It makes me happy when you
beam, beam, beam.
Yes it always makes my daaaaaay~!”
Alan smiled to himself, Pinkie and her songs...
“Come on, everypony, smile, smile, smile!
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine!”
The chorus of the miniature parade Pinkie had gathered together rang out in the springtime air, and as he walked through the small town, he couldn’t help but hum along.
Even though he had never heard the song before in his life.
Equestria was just like that, though.
Alan smirked. “Man...almost five years...” he muttered to no one in particular.
Five years ago he, Alan Williams, had literally dropped in on a meeting between the Princess, Twilight and her friends. Four years since Discord escaped and nearly shattered Equestria. Three years since the war ended. Two since Cadence and Shining got married. And almost a full year since Alan and Twi tied the knot themselves.
It didn’t seem like any time at all.
“Hey Al! What’s up!?” a voice called, interrupting his thoughts.
Alan looked up to see a cyan pegasus floating above him, a book gripped between her hooves. “Hey Dash!” Alan called. “Not much, how are you?”
“Doing Awesome!” she answered. “Got my new book, beat Thunderlane’s flank in a spar, and got the weather all set up, and it’s not even ten in the morning!”
“Great! Not coming back to the library by any chance, are ya?”
She rolled her eyes. “Sheesh, dude, why don’t you just take another pleasure cruise on your boat.”
“It wasn’t meant to be a pleasure cruise,” Alan said. “I was taking her down to sight-see Zebrica for a proper honeymoon, but we just kinda stopped going anywhere.”
“Pleasure cruise!” Rainbow Dash repeated.
“One more word, and it’s Spoiler Central for you!” Alan yelled.
Rainbow Dash gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“In chapter 23, Daring finds out that—”
“Fine! Fine! I’ll stop bringing it up!” she yelled down at him. “Sheesh. Can’t take a joke?”
“Glad that’s settled,” Alan said with a smirk. “Say ‘hi’ to Thunderlane for me.”
“Will do, Al. Stay cool.”
“Always do,” he said, before he took a quick run back down to toward the market. He took a few quick turns, before walking up to a certain stall.
“Alan!” the earth pony mare said, smiling. “Glad to see my favorite customer!”
“Hey, Roseluck. The usual.”
“One bouquet of two dozen red roses, coming up!” she said in her usual chipper voice.
She disappeared under the counter, only to reappear with a paper-wrapped bouquet. “‘Ere hou ho!” she said through clenched teeth.
A magical hand took the bouquet, and Alan tossed a few bits her way. “Thank you, keep the change.”
“Thanks!” she called as Alan left, bouquet in tow.
Alan then took another detour, heading for Sugarcube corner, the local bakery. As the bell rang to signal his entrance, he was instantly greeted by the cheerful voice of the owner, Mr. Cake. “Morning, Alan,” he said.
“Mornin’, Mr. Cake. One box of triple chocolate fudge cubes,” he ordered.
“Coming up! Got something special planned for Twilight?” the yellow stallion said, as he began pulling out a box of the chocolates.
“No, just felt like getting her some treats is all,” Alan replied, tossing some more bits on the counter.
“Sounds fair,” Mr. Cake said, placing the box on the counter, before sliding the bits into his waiting hoof.
Alan smiled. “Well, I should hope so,” he said, taking the box. “How’s Pound and Pumpkin doing?”
“Being absolute devils,” Mr. Cake said with a smile. “Pinkie has quite the hoofful with the two of them.”
Alan smiled. “Sounds like it,” he said, heading out the door. “Have a good day, Mr Cake.”
“You too, Al.”
Alan closed the door behind him, chocolate and flowers in tow as he continued walking towards the library. The large oak tree welcomed him in its shade, cooling him as he moved under the tall, green branches of his home.
Well...technically Twilight’s house, but he had never really bothered moving out.
As he stepped into Golden Oaks Library, he was welcomed by the sight of his love sitting in the middle of the floor, sorting the books once more as they hovered in the air.
Alan smiled.
A pair of hands crept up on the unsuspecting mare, and they quickly began to massage her back.
She practically melted into the touch.
“Honey, I’m home,” Alan whispered into her ear, closing the distance between the two.
Twilight fell backward into him, where she moaned in pleasure as a set of mana hands massaged her back. “Happy to hear it, dear,” she said, before kissing him.
When their kiss ended, Alan smiled. “Got you some roses.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet.”
Alan smiled, kissing her again. “Also, you may have a future in writing erotica.”
Twilight blushed, chuckling nervously. “I get it from my mother...”
Alan blinked. “Your mother writes erotica?”
“What!?” Twilight cried, jumping up. “No! The writing! In general! Not...gah!” She shook her head. “Oh, I really, really hope I don’t get writing erotica from my mother...”
Alan shook his head. “Did that totally kill the mood?”
“Killed it dead.”
<<<|Ω|>>>
Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, Queen of the Day, sat at a desk in her personal chambers.
The state of the world was a mess.
The assassination attempt of her Pendragon was the key to most of it.
Julius Ironblood, son of the griffon Emperor King Calius Bloodfeather, had not revealed Alan’s survival to the populace. Much to the Prince’s annoyance, however, not many seemed terribly distraught over the death of his brother by blood oath.
Julius had thrown himself into the search for the rebel faction that was supposedly behind the attempt, the “Iron Crown,” if she remembered correctly, and so far, his search had turned up empty.
But they had not been silent.
All across the Empire, there had been small pockets of activity. They seemed to pop up everywhere, especially in the smaller towns and cities. There were two kinds of objectives to their little missions, the first, to attack the military of the King, and second, to spread dissension amongst the populace.
Julius had spoken several times already of a few of the larger towns threatening to swear fealty to the Iron Crown if their demands were not met. Julius doubted they would on their own, but refusing their demands would definitely push them over the edge.
The smaller towns, especially the ones with the smaller military force, however, he was definitely in danger of losing. The Iron Crown had promised them protection from anything that was nearby, anything from the Ligers in the south, to the monsters in the north, and to the rampant bandits throughout the middle.
The Ligers themselves, however, had decided to make themselves a problem. Currently she was doing her best to keep the Liger Sultan from declaring war on the Empire.
“They have betrayed your trust, oh Great One,” she could all but mimic. “Let us deal with the liars. Surely you do not believe this Iron Crown business do you?”
She shook her head. They were obviously trying to force her to cut ties with the Empire, the alliance between them being the very reason the Sultan and the King had stopped their war. After all, after the lashing Equestria had given the griffons, it was obvious who had the military might.
When the alliance had been formed, the Ligers were quick to back off, not at all eager to face the same fate the griffons had if the ponies were called on by their enemies.
This, the Sultan thought, was their chance. If he could get Equestria’s aid by breaking the already fractured bond, they would be able to start a new war and they could take the land they believed to be theirs.
There was not much that could be done politically, Celestia knew. In fact, sending some ponies across the sea to help Julius in his search would probably not go as well either. After all, while the Iron Crown had not capitalized on xenophobia yet, she highly doubted they wouldn’t resort to it if she got her hooves dirty.
So, she and Alan did the only things they could, they wrote encouraging letters, telling Julius to stay strong, while she would give him some advice.
She hoped it would be enough.
<<<|Ω|>>>
In the frozen wastelands of the Empire, in the mountain range known as the Northern Stones, two figures stood in a dark room.
The first was a tall griffon. He stood with pride as he stared at the other being in the room. Across his left eye was a single scar that made him squint just a tiny bit, and his feathers turned grey at the tips. On his head sat a rough, asymmetrical, iron crown.
The second figure was tall, almost as tall as Celestia herself. Her sloppy, seaweed green hair hung limp from her head, where an almost comically small crown sat. Her horn was a jagged spear of black chitin, and her wings were gossamer fly-like protrusions. Her emerald eyes peered at the griffon in the darkness.
“So,” she said, breaking the silence, a slight reverb in her voice, “what was your plan again, Your Majesty?”
The griffon stared at her. His eyes narrowed in anger. “It is simple, you moronic changeling,” he hissed. “I don’t see why I have to repeat myself.”
The changeling smiled. “Call it a bad memory...”
The griffon growled. “First we take the empire. We throw down the two idiots who hold the throne by taking the love and trust of the people and turning it against them, then once the throne is empty, I take it for myself.”
“And the Hive?” the changeling asked.
“The combined armies of the changelings and the griffons will be more than enough for Equestria. The hive will have all the love it needs, and I will rule two countries. Simple.”
The changeling queen looked down on the griffon. “I hope it is that simple in practice.”
--------------------------------
Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come!
“Hey! I missed you all soooooooooooooo much!”
“We missed you too, Pinkie.”
But now it’s time to get this show on the road.
“Bet none of you were expecting it this soon, I know I sure wasn’t!”
Welcome to, A Changeling Queen under the Griffon’s Crown!
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Ahhh, Excellent! It has arrived! Great first chapter, and I'm really looking forward to seeing more of the story
Welp
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mewgwmZXcP1r5mzd8.jpg
I only have one word to say...
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/gVTJs.gif
Reaction:
*goes to Fimfic*
*goes to notifications*
*sees this*
*SLAP!* YES! (high pitched-voice) FUCK YES!!!
Now I'm so happy that I could even kiss you.
Picture related:
fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/1011853_347704905358474_1699011729_n.jpg
Off to a good start, although was slightly hoping it wouldn't be quite so war centric this time around. Oh well.
Quick question though, are we going to see any of their downtime before you go throwing us right into the action? The few times we got to see it in the prior story was very nice.
Ipod has achieved moderate sentience.
The first thing I thought of when I read that was I hope the Ipod saves the world.
Like it gets to the final confrontation and then all of a sudden it stats playing "Love is all you need" thus saving the world.
YES! Moar must be made!
It seems that... you got a TrIpod in you room!
Beware! Beware! Or Tom Cruise will come and save the world!
It's a good work, keep going!
Lets get this party started!
nghhhhhh, yes!
My man card is forfeit... I done squeed. At least there are some epic reads in the future now, thanks DM!
Woot, my friend. Woot.
Last i remember the character was changed into a pony. So why the human tag. Unless he changes back into a human the tag should not be used.
And befor you try to argue, being human is a matter of species, not of mind.
Finally! Let's roll!
AWESOME!!!!!
2945731
Of course they'll be down time. Alan's got to be a cool guy first before becoming a hero (again).
2946381
Yeah, I had issues with that tag. Tell you what, I'll ask the audience in the next chap note.
2946767
Or you could just remve it now because there are physically no human characters, which is when the tag is supposed to be used as explained by the FAQ.
Like i said, unless he changes back into a human the tag should not be used.
2946822
And someone thinks otherwise enough to downvote your comment. I want to please the majority here, let me ask, and then we'll see.
2946832
That is the thing though. The person who down voted is either someone who is really a fan that hates negative comments of any type, someone who can't face the fact that once a character is ponified they are no longer human, or both. Just because the majority think the wrong thing is right it does not make it so.
My biased aside the human tag should not be used based on the tagging rules. No physically human characters mean no human tag.
So please, just remove the tag. The only thing it is doing is giving false advertisement.
2946876
Or maybe not. Maybe they have a valid point. Maybe they do, maybe they don't that's why I'll let my readership decide. That's my final word on the subject.
2946907
Okay then. I will just report you for using incorect tags, which is apparently a valid thing to report a story for.
2946918
Dick move, dude. Dick move. Fine.
2946924
Sorry. But rules are rules.
You can block me if you want to. I won't hold it against you.
2946937
Yes, rules are rules, but this was kinda a grey area, one that I struggled with for hours before coming to my decision. I was going to give both sides a chance here, but...
Just enjoy the story.
*hugs DM* thank you for this blessing upon this world i was hopeful for this in a few weeks but you just completely surprised me by popping this out now.
i came on fimfic and noticed this... about 5 seconds later i would have passed out if not for the fact that i recently woke up, keep up the good work.
As far as the human tag i don't see a problem with it because of the fact that he WAS human. while he may not be human at all in this story the fact of the matter is that his mind still functions at least partially like a humans.
again *hugs DM*
YEEEEESSSSSS
2946940It is not really a gray area. Being human is pretty much a matter of physical species. Some could argue that it is about the mind, but that is more an outcome of environment, and brain chemistry.
Change a human into a pony, and you change the brain chemistry. That is actually kinda shown in the previous story, in the chapter after he was change against his will, when exclaimed how good grass was. Not to mention that even before he was changed he was still integrating into the environment around him. So his 'human mind' was slowly going away anyway.
If it makes you feel better I didn't report you. I couldn't do it in good conscience.
So i guess just do what you want. I won't bother you anymore. I will just swallow my annoyance
Good luck with all of your endeavors.
..........Shut up and take my mustaches!
2946993
Nobody really important. Just a reader with strong feelings about certain things. Why?
By the way, read further.
First off, good to see the sequel out so soon! (I don't have any issues with the ending and I'd have to see the comments to know whats up, but its your story and all that!)
Also:
2946876
So... I have a bit of an issue with this statement... Mainly because you tried to validate your point with "rules" that don't exist (the FAQ does not list the proper conditions for the HUMAN tag, and thus we are left to use our best judgement). Now, I don't have a problem with you voicing your opinion, but do try to keep things in perspective. It is just that, opinion. There are no rules concerning the human tag (although there probably should be something added in the FimFiction FAQ guide). If you want to refute this statement please show proof of such. The Tag guidelines for FimFiction can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide#Tags
My own opinion is that a human is what you make them out to be. If that means that you have your character originate from earth then keep the tag after dramatic changes to their body, I think that's a valid application of that tag.
PS - Not going to turn this into a comment war, so I won't be responding to this part of the comment. Just putting that out there for everyone.
This has just made my week
, I'm looking forward to the rest 
2947047
The human tag is not mentioned there. They shou'd update that.
Anyway, my statement comes from the faq, which does say when tags should be used.
Anyway, I gavevmy poinsvin other comments. And justblike every other argument like this that i have seen we will just have to agree to disagree.
it so good for a first chapter I shall sing you a song
cept I cant record myself singing so instead lemme pull it out of youtube
yes its spanish
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Can we please stop fighting about the human tag? All ponies have the same sentience as humans, Al is a pony but was raised a human, and Al has a pony body assisted by mana-construct humanoid hands. Trying to decide on the human tag is like trying to classify a piano.
So just shut up.
Ah! I've been looking forward to this! Though, I'm surprised it came so early. Not that that's a problem, though!
Just... No balefire bombs, okay? I still have flashbacks to Fallout: Equestria... The good kind mind you, but still.
Still, that would be totally awesome, in a bad way.
Alan stood above the smoldering craters, one hoof cupping a golden ear-ring.
"I have become death, destroyer of worlds..." He muttered. His insides felt cold, as if a hand of ice had clutched him.
Behind him stood a black, almost unbelievably gaunt Alicorn. It rolled it's eyes and mumbled, "Not cool Pendragon, that's my line."
Damm son, this is good and it's already of to a roaring start.
Dark secrets? An enemy from the past? Far reaches of the world!? Extra points if you use the words "roller coaster", "action-packed adventure", or "(blank) was just an ordinary guy until..." You say he must stand with his friends and family as though he would not ordinarily. Its kind of a poor description, and tells me nothing about the story you're writing, other than the fact that its a sequel. "This guy was happy until a bad guy came, now he's rounding up his buddies to fight the bad guy." I know you don't want to give the story away, but you need to tell us SOMETHING. You wouldn't buy a novel with such a vague blurb on the back. Perhaps something more concise, like:
Alan is the Pendragon of Equestria, happily married, and settling down to enjoy peacetime. Then (blank enemy) and (this event) come for him. Etc., etc.
Give us 3-5 sentences that really SAY what this story is about.
2947492
Fair enough. Nice to meet you, by the way. Yeah, I had a little trouble with the short description for this one, the last one was better.
2947498 You too, you do good stuff!
(which I why I kind'a pounced on you about the description, sorry, haha...)
2947505
Is this one better?
2947520 Much much better.
2947568
Awesome.
Well credit where credit is due, clever way to create dissent amongst Griffon kind to launch a coup, his plan for Equestria not so much, apply brute force, that will work...
But there is a flaw in his initial plan as well, may I welcome back to Equestria, the Windigo!
They don't know it, but winter is coming... whether literally or figuratively I do not yet know...
It's Here!
It's Here!
It's Fina-lilly Here!
Yeap, we all need to be very afraid. After all, Apple was the one to create SkyNET.
First, a little question.
You seem to use word "magick" instead of just "magic". Is there a reason why or is it how the pronunciation is somewhere?
I do know that "magick" is the older way to pronounce the word, is this the reason?
Second, I always love these happier chapters. Because it means that shit's going down soon.
---
2946980
Dude, what the fuck? I was going to support your original statement about the tag but you just ended up making yourself a butthurt douche (oh dear... I called you by names. Fun fact, that's exactly what you did become) Come on!
btw I'm on writers side only because ^ that ^...
Yeah.
Fucking... stupid arguments.
This went really well. Quick start, quick to post, quick to read (for me, at least.) Huzzah!
2947993
I believe I explained it once in ANS, but that was a while ago.
Magic is the art of the arcane.
and, as far as my headcanon is concerned,
Magick is the physical manifestation of the arcane.