• Member Since 17th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 18th, 2014

Octavio the Umbreon


I write Fics for MLP, and Pokemon, some crossovers and a little bit of One Piece. Yes, I am a brony. Its better than going almost going crazy with every-day stress. Its relaxin...:3

T
Source

Her everyday journey of life is now in question. What does everything mean?
What is life?
What is music?
What is the Octavarium?

Cover Art is temporary
tags are also temporary

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 2 )

Oh, no comments at all? That's lame. I'll remedy that. (Although I'm by no means anywhere near being a reviewer of any kind.)
So, overall, the story seems good, although scene transitions could use a little more clarity, like the part where she goes to work: the way it is phrased almost makes it sound like her band plays about three feet from the coffee shop's front door. It makes things seem a little too fast, although it doesn't ruin the pacing entirely.
Also, some minor fluctuation in tense throughout.
Grammatically, it's good, but with minor typos:

He put on a business snile and spoke,

*Smile

and paid two hits for it and sat

*Bits, perhaps?
I don't know where this story is heading, but that just means the possibilities are endless, right?
Eh, why not. I'll give this a chance.
I'd comment more, but I have to go to work now.

2864137
Thank you, I'm typing on an unfamiliar device; I'll fix those typos. And I intended that it'd be a short walk from the shop, though, not that short. I tried implying practice started at 7:00 am

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