A Pimp Named Spikeback

by StayOuttaMyShed

Chapter 3: Help Has Arrived

As lunch time rolled around, Applejack sat out on the porch with Granny Smith while Big Macintosh was inside eating his lunch. He had picked up the pace a bit in his work today in an attempt to convince Applejack that he was ok, but his lingering depression was still apparent. Apple Bloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were nowhere to be seen and Applejack went on hoping that they would return with somepony to help her big brother feel better. And then, almost as if on cue, the Cutie Mark Crusaders emerged from the horizon and cantered over to Applejack and Granny Smith.

“Boy howdy am I glad to see you girls,” Applejack happily exclaimed. “I reckon you three found somepony to help Big Macintosh?”

The three fillies smiled up at Applejack. “You bet we did sis!” Apple Bloom proudly responded.

“We didn’t get our detective cutie marks from it though,” Scootaloo added in a slightly dissapointed sounding tone.

“Well if you ask me, helping out my brother is even more important than getting my cutie mark. I’m just hope he’ll finally feel better,” Apple Bloom said.

“That’s great girls,” said Applejack. She looked around and finally noticed the obvious lack of somepony else being with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“So uh….where are they?” Applejack asked.

“Where's who?” Sweetie Belle asked back.

“You know, the pony that’s gonna help my brother out of his relationship problems? The whole reason I sent you girls off to Ponyville in the first place?” Applejack replied impatiently.

“Oh right!” Scootaloo said. “See what happened is that we asked dozens and dozens of ponies but none of them knew anypony who could help us. We were just about to give up hope when this nice group of teenage colts told us they knew the perfect guy to help Big Mac out. They said he knows all about girls and relationships and would be able to help out Big Mac no problem.”

“Well that’s great! So where are they exactly?” Applejack asked the three fillies.

“They told us that they could go ask him to come by Sweet Apple Acres to help us, and that he would be here as soon as he could, so he should be here any minute now,” Sweetie Belle told the farm pony.

Once again, almost as if on cue, another figure began to emerge from the horizon towards Applejack. She could quickly tell it was a horse drawn carriage, and she could see two strong looking ponies pulling the carriage along. The carriage itself, however, was quite the sight. It was one of the longest Applejack had ever seen. It stretched out to the length of 2 carriages. The carriage was painted a dark purple and the wheels looked as if they were gold plated. Applejack didn’t know what to make of this odd sight that was this carriage, but she dismissed it, being so anxious to have the person help her brother.

The two ponies pulled the carriage up so that the door to it was beside the porch that Applejack, Granny Smith, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were standing on. The door opened to reveal the interior of the carriage. The seats looked sleek and comfortable, while the floor and roof of the carriage were covered by some sort of shaggy looking carpet, which was also a purple color. A miniature disco ball hung from the ceiling as well, and even the door itself seemed to be detailed as the doorknob was encrusted with diamonds.

The carriage was the strangest sight that any of the five mares sitting on the porch had ever seen. But before they could think anything further of it, a figure began to step out of the carriage and stood right in front of Applejack.

She got a good look at the creature that had just stepped out of the carriage, and she once again couldn’t believe her eyes. After looking at the figure for a short time, she could only blurt out one single question:

“Are you kidding me?”

---

Big Macintosh sat in the dinning room calmly eating his lunch. It had been quite the day for Big Mac, with his sister confronting him about his depression, and revealing his relationship troubles with Cheerilee to her. He knew he had not heard the last on the matter knowing that Applejack would do whatever she could to help Big Mac in his situation, but for the time being Big Mac was just going to enjoy his calm lunch. Little did he know he was about to be in for the wildest and oddest day of his life.

Five mares suddenly made their way into the dinning room where Big Macintosh was eating. Applejack, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. For a second they simply awkwardly looked at Big Mac and each other until a nervous Big Macintosh finally spoke,

“Uh, howdy?” The red stallion told the mares.

“Umm, hey there Big Mac. So, I reckon you remember when I told you I would find you some help for your situation this morning, right?” Applejack asked her brother.

Big Macintosh looked at his Granny and the Cutie Mark Crusaders and saw them all giving a uneasy and awkward look.

“Eeyup.”

“Well, I asked Apple Bloom and her friends here if they could find somepony in Ponyville to help you while I worked,” Applejack replied. “And, well, they found somepony. Err, well actually not somepony per say.”

Big Macintosh was obviously confused at his sister’s remarks.

“Ah shoot Applejack, just bring him in, he’s already here so you may as well let him come see Big Mac,” Granny Smith told Applejack.

“Alright, alright. Hey, you can come on in now!” Applejack yelled out to the next room over.

Suddenly, the figure that emerged from the carriage now made their presence felt in the dining room. Big Macintosh looked at the figure with curious and confused eyes. In front of him was not a pony, but a dragon. A baby dragon to be specific. In fact, this baby dragon was none other than Spike, the assistant to Twilight Sparkle. It was him alright, but he looked different. He was dressed in a dark purple suit, he wore fancy looking white shoes, and in his hand he held a purple cane, with a handle that was encrusted with various gems. And then atop his head he wore a white hat.

Big Macintosh could not believe what he was seeing. He was confused not only as to why Spike was dressed in such an odd way, but also as to why he was in the dinning room with him and the other five mares. Before he could continue wondering these things, Spike then spoke.

“Good evening Big Macintosh, my name is A Pimp Named Spikeback, and this sir, is an intervention.”

Comments

[bucknorris]

A Boondocks crossover WHAT... IS... THI... *Head Explodes*

[Asgard]

What is this I don't even... O________________o

[Dark Lightning]

AH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bubbler]

3.bp.blogspot.com/_HcmoFeeA8rw/S-xA7P-MT7I/AAAAAAAAB0g/ejIw9QXIiVQ/s1600/A_Pimp_Named_Slickback.jpg

[Blue Breeze]

bitches better be ready, cause a pimp named spikeback is comin

[Hivemind]

I can already imagine Spike saying: "Does Grandmaster Pimp Spikeback need ta' slap a bitch?"

[Ian_Okazaki]

Celestia bless his pimp hand so he may beat onto these ponies there place and the knowledge of who they work for

[PonyofTacos]

/)^3^(\ I will find your shed and wait in it until you force me out with a chainsaw and/or write moar.

[Adithompson]

Spike be pimping?[img]5353.awww+yeah[/img]

[Dark Lightning]

I JUST NEEDED TO POST THIS SINCE ITS FUNNY!!!

static.fjcdn.com/pictures/The_483767_1473983.jpg

NO DISRESPECT TO ANY RELIGIONIST OUT THERE!!!!

[Dark Lightning]

236543: Fail.

[StayOuttaMyShed]

Wow,thanks for the great reception so far everyone
I'm glad everyone is liking the idea of Spike being pimping,because I was honestly nervous of people not liking me making Spike a pimp.But starting with the next chapter,A Pimp Named Spikeback's swag is going to be in full force. Chapter 4 is actually very close to being finished.Just need to finish it up,spell check,proof read,and what not and then it will be ready.So it should be up in a couple of hours.Hope everyone continues to enjoy the story

[YOitzGEEZUS]

236658 sorry man, i cant take you seriously with ur profile pic n ur username, im scared of you

[DrunkAtTheBellagio]

Needs more KICKED IN YO CHEST.

[MrBigmac1011]

t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTZLC8PQP48Q3ICUjPzu5jguXLY7Qh2YlERPPWJiP942o7YxwzoBA
SPIKE BE PIMPIN'

[Gunzerker343]

even chuck Norris bows down to spikeback

[OmniFox]

It's about time we have an alter ego that's perfect for Spike.

[Bahamut Omega]

“Good evening Big Macintosh, my name is A Pimp Named Spikeback, and this sir, is an intervention.”

Roll credits. ding