Dash Ketchum wants to be the best pokeman trainer in Equestria, so she goes to Doctor Celestioak to get a new pokeman and start her quest. Will she succeed in becoming the best? Will she be able to beat her nemesis Flutter Oak (get it, she's a tree)? And what will happen to Twilight who's stuck in Canterlot High School!?
Read and find out!
(WARNING: Written for BronyCon's "Hoof of Argon" competition; unfortunately, this turned out less Argonish and more Pure Bad)
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Celestiaoak doesn't ask if you are a boy or a girl!
DOWNVOTED.
inb4 Flutters was here, Dash is a loser.
What's this, only misspellings in dialog??
Don't half-ass things, go hard or go home!
2849792
I think you might be getting too into this troll-fic idea....
I don't think this is something I've attempted before. I'm also not sure how it's going to work for an open reading. There are progressively more spelling errors as I got more into the spirit of things, but I wound up going with Bulwer-Lytton / Eye of Argon style badfic with plain awful randomness more than Legolas by Laura.
Which is an experience when read aloud. Seriously. Let me put up the link.
I'm so glad this was your first story posted as an EqD prereader. You show 'em how it's done, Bradel!
Seriously, this is an awesome troll fic. I do think you might need to clean up the language for the panel, it has to be PG-13.
2849817 I'm a bit worried about that, yes. I put a comment on Applejinx blog asking about just that concern. I think I'll probably just bleep Spike out if it's not going to work that way.
Unless anyone has better suggestions?
You were right, this really is pure, unadulterated awful.
Well done.
But is it awful ENOUGH? And yes, the language won't work. Did you see what bookplayer did? Do more like this
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/184144/my-second-less-interesting-post-of-the-day
bookplayer came up with the SECOND most horrific entry so far. It really is not easy to do...
2850644 No, it's really not.
I don't know if I'm willing to do a whole lot more than bleep out the language, sadly. It was hard enough to put this together, and I think it may have ruined my ability to pre-read for the day. I'm having a hard time looking at much anything and not imagining that it's intentional badfic now.
Incidentally, that's intended as a comment on my headspace, not on the quality of what I'm reading for EQD.
I think I kind of suck at this.
Obviously, there needs to be more of this.
2850681
Oh, don't hurt yourself with it! It will be fine. Even if I wasn't judging, I don't think I could possibly do this sort of thing. I can read it with great seriousness and authoritativeness but I can't write it for beans
We'll do fine. Consider it part of the great strangeness of life that people do this
2849774
and not a Twilight in sight...unless...
Twi, and her big evil alicorn clone, Twi-Two!
I'm going to hell
I want someone to do this in G-mod, Full Life Consequences style...
2851372
No......
I see it now.
She is LANCE.
2850723
I realize this is probably not the appropriate place to ask this, but when is the reading going to be done, and who will be allowed to participate?
Oh my...
If I see the word "limpid" one more time, I think I will scream. <shudder>
Great. Now I am torn. Do I upvote this or downvote this as a good example of bad writing?
A few silly, unsolicited suggestions:
1. Why not use the "standard" Brony bowdlerizations for the swearing?
fuck = buck
shit = horseapples
god damn it = Celestia banish it
2. No HiE or self-insert? It may be too late to add that into the story at this point, but -- Wait. What am I saying? Go ahead and slam a sloppily written chapter or three with some humans and a self-intsert alicorn (add more "limpid" in for good measure) into the mix. Run this story's plot into the ground and piddle on its remains.
3. Dash Ketchum needs to break/loose her wings.
2851397
Midnight at Bronycon, Friday night—and all comers are allowed to read (I think it's a plus panel, though, so it's 18+)
If there are many readers (and not just listeners) we will be super strict about not making mistakes!
2852917
sounds like a party
I will be there if at all possible (consciousness allowing)
what the heck is with the photo I mean really that's a Insult to Ash
Please tell me you've read "My Immortal", the infamously bad Harry Potter fanfic.
4053469
Bits of it, though if you're a fan, you should really check out Horizon's "My Harshwhinnial"!
4053535
Yeah, I had figured. It's actually become a joke between my friends and I to replace the adjectives in a story with limpid. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll be sure to check it out!
2849713
So I was on this story's page again because reasons (Horizon and I were discussing least-read stories by certain authors on DuncanR's blog), and I have to say...
I think this comment (and the upvotes it got) may be the single happiest I've felt about any comment I've gotten on Fimfiction, so thank you!
5287871
Glad to have given you a smile!
5287871
Frankly, looking back at this, even I kind of giggle at it, and it was my own comment.
...Is that horribly narcissistic?
5288618
Certainly no more narcissistic than my favorite comment on all my stories being Obi-Wan shouting, "You were the chosen one!"