Breaking Bad: Equestria

by darkstar64

Chapter 2: New Players in Town

Jesse slowly drove the RV behind Applejack, who kept turning back to look at the strange contraption. It was extremely loud, and smoke kept puffing out of the back through some sort of pipe. Inside, Walt was showing Twilight the lab and prayed that she wouldn't realize what kind of lab it truly was.

"It kinda smells in here." Twilight noticed, her muzzle twitching.

"Well, some of the chemicals we work with aren't the most pleasantly scented substances," Walt replied. "And although we try to keep our work space clean, the smell just sort of lingers for a while."

"Makes sense," said Twilight. "What's in this barrel here?" she asked, tapping the black barrel with her foreleg. "Meth... methylamine? Never heard of it before."

"It's one of the more dangerous chemicals we work with," stated Walt. "We always wear safety equipment when working with it, as to avoid any health risks."

"Why would you work with such hazardous chemicals?" Twilight asked, curious. "What kind of work do you two do?"

Jesse up ahead in the driver seat clenched his teeth, silently begging that Mr. White would come up with a reasonable explanation.

"It.. it depends on what our customers want," Walt quickly answered. "They inform us of what product they need and-"

"Holy shit, that is a lot of apples yo." Jesse interrupted as Sweet Apple Acres came into view. The plains and hills in the distance all had their own separate orchards of apple trees, each one with several fresh apples ready to be bucked.

"My God, how does she maintain such a large supply of apples?" Walt asked as he stared out the windshield. "There's gotta be hundreds of apple trees!"

"To be honest Walt, I don't know how her and her family do it," Twilight responded. "I know sometimes they hire seasonal labourers, but they handle the work pretty much on their own."

"All right, we're coming up on the barn here." Jesse stated, slowing the RV down as he waited for Applejack to open the barn doors.

"I'm going to help guide him in," said Walt, exiting out the door. "Don't want him scratching up the RV."

It took nearly ten minutes for Jesse to park the RV, nearly running over Walt in the process. After yelling at Jesse again, the noise had attracted the attention of three extremely curious fillies.

"What in tarnation is that thing?" asked the cream-coloured filly with the red bow-tie.

"It.. it looks like it can go faster than my scooter!" exclaimed the pegasus filly with the purple mane.

"It's... so dirty." stated the white unicorn filly.

"What are you three doin' in here?" Applejack questioned. "Ya'll lucky that RV thing didn't run you over!"

"Woah, what in tarnation are those things?!" the filly asked out loud, pointing her foreleg at Walt and Jesse.

"It ain't polite to point Applebloom," responded Applejack. "And their names are Walt and Jesse. They got a little lost I guess and we're just trying to help them get home."

"Uh, sup." Jesse greeted awkwardly, still weirded out by the talking equines.

"Oh, can we please ride in it mister, can we?" Scootaloo asked all excitedly, jumping in the air. "How fast can it go? Is it expensive? What does the inside look like?"

"Absolutely not," Walt replied, making the filly frown. "Inside of that RV is our portable laboratory and it can be dangerous for young ones. And it certainly isn't built for speed."

"Aw..." Scootaloo whined.

"Ugh, it's covered in dirt, and it smells," Sweetiebelle noted, her muzzle twitching. "I don't think I want to go in there."

"And that's another thing," started Applejack. "I know it's your lab and all, but it sure does stink. And this is a farm. If it's gonna be staying here, it's gonna have to smell better than that."

"Lab?" Applebloom responded, her head and ears perked up. "I got it girls! We could get our cutie marks in being chemists!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CHEMISTS!" all three fillies screamed, making everyone cover their ears.

"Agh, no!" Walt complained, rubbing his ears. "I already said no one in the lab! And that includes ponies!"

"Aw...." all three fillies whined.

"Ok, Mr. White. If we're done here with RV, I'd really like to talk to this Princess so we can you know, go home." Jesse stated.

"Right, right." Walt replied. "And don't worry Applejack, Jesse and I will make sure our RV is cleaned top to bottom so the scent won't be an issue."

"Glad to hear it." said Applejack.

"Now, how do we contact this Princess of yours Twilight?"

"Oh, it's simple really," Twilight stated. "I'm her personal student and all, so I can mail her about everything and she'll help you two home in no time!"

"Wait, by mail?" Jesse repeated. "You ponies actually still use mail? You don't have computers or cell phones or anything like that?"

"Um, no."

"Letter... won't that take days for a response?" Walt asked.

"Not when you have a dragon." Twilight answered.

"Woah, did you say dragon?" Jesse questioned. "Like, actual fire-breathing dragons?"

"So it's safe to assume you don't have dragons in your world either?"

"Oh my god, this world is seriously messed up yo." Jesse stated.

"Just ignore him," Walt said to Twilight, who was about to object. "Whatever works to contact the Princess, that's what we'll do. Let's get started, shall we?"

-/-

After an awkward walk through a town called Ponyville (which made Jesse groan), filled with stares of frightened and curious ponies, as well as explaining everything to a baby dragon (which Jesse also whined about, not happy that it was just a baby dragon), Twilight's letter to the Princess had been finally written and sent via flame.

"Did you seriously just burn that letter?" Jesse complained.

"I was sending it, for your information." Spike explained, who decided he wasn't particularly fond of Pinkman. "It's a magical flame that sends it directly to Princess Celestia herself."

"Unbelievable," Walt muttered, staring in awe at the inside of the library. "An entire archive built inside of a tree."

"It's basic architecture really," Twilight stated. "Many businesses and residences in rural areas are built within the environment so that resources aren't used up and to keep the tree alive."

Walter's amazement at the scene was cut short as a sudden coughing fit made him stumble a little, grabbing onto a nearby bookshelf for support.

"Hey, are you okay Walt?" Twilight asked, concerned.

"Yeah, *cough* I'm fine," Walter replied. "I.. I take some medicine for that, I left it in the RV. We'll have to go back amd get it."

"Well, okay then..."

Jesse stared at Mr. White, knowing what was really wrong with him. Changing the subject, he turned his attention to the literature beside him. "So, what the hell kinda books are these anyways?" he asked, grabbing random books and flipping through them. "Star Swirl the Bearded, The Vanishing Star, Daring Doo..."

"Hey, I just organized those!" Spike exclaimed, jumping up at Jesse to grab the books back.

"Look, lizard, I may not be a librarian yo, but I do know that Daring Doo shouldn't be in the 'S' section." Jesse noted.

"Hate to say it Spike, but he's right." Twilight responded. "You'll have to check all the sections again and make sure they're properly organized this time."

"Ergh..." Spike groaned. "Thanks a lot. And I'm not a lizard, I'm a dragon- BUUURP!"

A burst of green flames shot forth from the lizar- dragon's throat, materializing a scroll mid-air before it dropped to the floor.

"Ah, I knew it wouldn't take long for the Princess to respond!" Twilight exclaimed, grabbing the scroll with her magic and unrolling the parchment.

-/-

"You sure we should be doing this?"

"Of course! An opportunity like this doesn't come often!"

"But the bald guy said..."

"Forget the bald guy, this thing is cool!"

"Yuck, it smells in here! What if some of this stuff is dangerous?"

"Hold on, I think there's some safety equipment here... these look like some sort of masks."

"And what is... Ph- Phosphorus? I wonder what we can make with it!"

"They got big boilers and everything! This will be easy!"

"Yeah! We can make the perfect batch and we'll be..."

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CHEMISTS!"

Author's Note:

Looks like we got some new players in town...

Comments

[HatePlow]

Hahaha! Oh shit! Come and getcha crispy crusadas! Crispy crusadas only four dollas!

[BoJack Horseman]

I love this story, please keep writing it.

[Ragged]

i cant wait for the main 6 to smoke some meth

[abdcdweawrbitwaihjtolwtj]

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CHEMISTS"
Five minutes later..
Fried chicken, anyone?

[darkstar64]

2941556 infinitydish.com/tvblog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/gus-fring.jpg

[Portable Opium]

Make the kids cook Crystal.. Est. 2013.

What have you done?

[omega-ze-wargod]

oh jeeze fellas.... dis no be good for dem crusaiders

[thatguywholikesponies]

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CHEMISTS, 5 minutes later, kabooommm Walt the hell happened!!!

[A-Fox]

(Indulges in insane laughter) I love this story! More please!

[Clockwork Orange]

I wonder who the Equestrian equivalent of Gus Fring is?

[abdcdweawrbitwaihjtolwtj]

Abandoned.
Please delete this.

[darkstar64]

3157629 No, not abandoned. You think I have the personal time to constantly write chapters for both of my fanfics?

[abdcdweawrbitwaihjtolwtj]

3160021 Considering the time frame between chapters, yes, yes you should have enough time. One chapter for one story, another for the other. Example:1 Chapter for this story for week 1, and another chapter for the other story for week 2.

[darkstar64]

3160583 Writing is a secondary hobby of mine. I spend more of my time working, playing games, or working on my music. I usually spend a little amount of time writing parts of the chapters, but they aren't finished. I'm also trying to move into a new apartment, so sorry if chapters are scarce.

[Artie Downer]

This should continue with Walt letting Twilight cook with him, and maybe becoming assistant to him, and Jesse will be jealous

[Account Is Dead]

Phosphorous? YOU SICK FUCK! Solve the cliffhanger already, dammit!

[Powder_Sniffer]

like and fav, yo

[Rakaziel]

This is awesome!

[Juggernaut]

So, here I am, watching Breaking Bad, wanting to read a good crossover, but all of the crossover's I can find are deserted, and abandoned.

[Pedro-Paramo]

Wow, liking it so far. Thanks for sharing with us, dude!

[Comment-Pony]

Ended too quickly

[Connection_Terminated]

Heh this story is dead

[Audiocupcake]

Hey so it’s December 2021 and I just had a conversation with my sister about how a mlp and breaking bad crossover had to exist and so I googled it and this came up. I(20yo) just spent half an hour reading this to my 23yo sister with all of the character voices. Thank you for making my Christmas season joyful. I hope you are doing well and know that your story is still making people smile almost 10 years later