“Remember this, Twilight, because in the end it’s not the things you think, but the things you do that makes you who you are.”
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
RazgrizS57
With enough momentum, pigs fly just fine.
RazgrizS57
Joined 14th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- InkHeartBrony · 1.1k words · 87 3 · 5.5k views
- RazgrizS57 · 1.7k words · 78 1 · 1.3k views
- Cadejo Jones · 4.5k words · 60 1 · 1.8k views
- Fon Shaolin · 26k words · 67 9 · 4.2k views
- RazgrizS57 · 4.7k words · 143 10 · 3.1k views
- Westphalian_Musketeer · 3.3k words · 61 11 · 2.6k views
- Waxworks · 6k words · 48 0 · 1.2k views
- Feedbacker · 1k words · 84 8 · 2.5k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.045 seconds
Total duration
703 users online
599,291 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
.........Ok then.... Celestia has dark thoughts.
Hmm. Wasn't taking notes, but I spotted a few errors with commas (mostly in compound sentences), a few tense derps, and a few bits of awkward phrasing. While I like the idea behind it, I could well say the same thing about this as you so recently pointed out about "In Another Castle": it's more a scene than a story. Well, two scenes, rather, but it doesn't seem to have any real conclusion in a logical or emotional sense. Celestia doesn't really change or learn anything, and since she's the main character, we expect some kind of change from her, lest we wonder why the story was told at all. Still, fine idea, although your tweet made me expect more cuddling than I saw.
2832773
I know this thing has its errors, but this was again one of those impulse-driven short stories in the middle of the night so it having errors doesn't surprise me at all. I agree though that this is more of a "scene" than it is a "story."
What I was trying to allude to, however subtly, was that Luna was unable to learn or at least forgot what Celestia had reminded Twilight about nightmares and not to let them take over one's mind. Now that is a thing an actual story could be built behind. I think what's here could potentially fill in as an epilogue or prelude to something grander, but I have no real interest in doing so right now. But still, thanks for the comment.
By the way: I don't think there'd ever be a sufficient amount of cuddling to suit your needs.
Wow...that was something. Sweet and scary at the same time.
2832892
Counterpoint on cuddling: my boyfriend.
I guess I didn't get that sense of Luna's forgotten lesson from the story itself, although that's a neat idea.
There is a similar recent story by Present Perfect (Civil Twilight), but focused on Twilight having similar thoughts about her friends. This works as an interesting companion piece.
Also, the connection with Luna could have been clearer, but it works well enough as a short story despite that.
Wow this is great. It gives an answer to "If alicorns don't sleep, do they have waking nightmares?". It also nicely explains Luna, that she let her fantasies become reality.
counterpoint to Nightmare Moon: Daydream Sun