Only an Imaginary Friend

by i_am_the_jam

An Imaginary Auction

√-1 √-1 √-1

An Imaginary Auction

Dame Rarity Belle had been generous enough to donate to the Auction Committee the stage and runway she had designed for her first fashion show. It had been modified to give the whole Town Hall Auditorium a more masculine feel, with its dark colouring and angular motifs. The “landing”, that is, the circular platform at the opposite end of the runway, no longer sported a flower blossom, but a very angular dark blue silhouette of a stallion’s head, similar to the profile of the knight piece in chess. It was surrounded by minimalist angular depictions of a brown oak, a white pair of wings, and a purple starburst, representing the three types of ponies. Above the stage was a banner that declared:

FIRST ANNUAL BACHELOR CHARITY AUCTION

IN BENEFIT OF THE PONYVILLE HOUSE OF REFUGE

A bit of heavy-bass music—courtesy of a white unicorn mare with a blue spiked mane and purple sunglasses—filled the air, but at a tolerable volume.

To the right of the stage, beside the curtain, sat a middle-aged blue pegasus stallion, with a white and grey mane, wearing a charcoal jacket with sky blue seams. He was going over his presentation notes, and clearing his throat.

Backstage, Imaginary wandered about, taking a closer look at his “competition”, if a pony could call it that. He was actually quite impressed with the number of stallions that had signed up; perhaps the population ratio of Ponyville wasn’t so skewed after all. Still, there were plenty of stallions taller and more buffed than him, some with spiffy or flashy outfits, and, of course, everypony was very excellently groomed for their customers tonight.

He looked up to see another angular dark blue silhouette of a stallion’s head hanging on the rear curtain, which would be displayed to the audience for a few moments as the main curtain opened and each stallion trotted out to the stage and the runway.

And as the opening drew closer, Imaginary, like quite a few of the males around him, couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous.

“Well, don’t yew look spiffy tonaght.”

The unicorn turned and saw his two friends approach, and he was also surprised at their transformation. Big Macintosh had removed himself from his ever-present yoke, and his mane had been brushed to the side, almost covering his left eye. His tail had also been smoothed down and it was no longer plagued with split ends. However, what impressed Imaginary was that his friend sported a brown leather jacket and a black western wire tie, which was adorned with a green apple half.

Bulk Biceps had baby blue jacket and a matching modern tie, which offset his extreme musculature. His spiked crew cut was arranged neatly on his head and neck so that it now pointed in only one direction: up. His tail, however, was arranged in an Indian braid, and his jewellery had been properly polished.

Imaginary couldn’t help but feel as if he had forgotten something at home, since he only wore a black bowtie and matching cuffs. “I look spiffy? Mr. Apple, you are quite the image of a powerful land baron—!!!—which technically, you are…” he realised.

“Well, you’re quite a different stallion tonight too,” said Bulk Biceps. “You actually combed your mane and tail.”

The unicorn laughed, “That I did. I think I used up all of my brother-in-law’s mane and tail spray, too.” Which was mostly true, as his normal fly-away mane and tail had been brushed back and arranged neatly in layers, and again, all split ends had been surgically removed.

Macintosh chuckled and told Bulk Biceps, “Yew owe me 20 bits.”

“It’s not over yet, and you know that.”

The unicorn blinked. “You actually thought I wasn’t going to show up? I’m surprised, Mr. Biceps; we all know this isn’t exactly for my benefit.”

Now it was Bulk’s turn to chuckle, “Well, showing up was only part of the bet that we made, but I think it’s best that we hold off on the details until tomorrow, barring any disasters, of course.”

“What, you also bet that I wouldn’t reach a certain amount, or that I wouldn’t be sold at all?”

Now the two friends chuckled. “Imaginary, yew haven’t checked th’ number they gave yew?”

The brown unicorn pulled a small plastic chip from under his bowtie, which declared a particular number. “So I’m not among the first ‘victims’…but aren’t we going to be auctioned off randomly?”

His two friends looked at each other, and again laughed. Bulk patted Imaginary’s back and said, “We all respect the opinion you have about yourself, ‘Immy’, but let’s just say you’re going to be very surprised at what the committee had to say about you.”

Before Imaginary could say anything, a pegasus mare, with a tan coat and orange curly mane and tail, and wearing a headset with a microphone, trotted up to the group and said, “Okay, gentlecolts, take your places! The sale of the century begins in 5 minutes!”

All the stallions hushed and formed a queue to the right of the stage, each taking their respective numerical place.

And Imaginary found it odd that he was so far back in the queue, near the end, almost; perhaps other stallions would show up as the night went on.

Then, they heard the music die down and the emcee declare: “Ladies and gentlecolts!! Welcome to Ponyville’s First Annual Bachelor Charity Auction!!!” And the music blasted once again as the mares clopped.

If Imaginary didn’t have butterflies in his stomach before, he definitely had them now.

“We have prepared for you the best, the finest, and the most handsome stallions that our wonderful town has to offer for all the mares tonight!!!”

Feminine squeals of excitement filled the air, making Imaginary snort in disgust.

“Now before we begin, we would like to thank Ponyville’s very own, Dame Rarity Belle, Knight of Harmony, Two Time Champion of Equestria, and Bearer of the Element of Generosity, for providing our stage and runway!!”

Imaginary heard clopping of approval, and he could imagine Dame Belle standing up and blowing kisses to the audience.

“And before we begin, we’ll go over the rules briefly, in case anypony forgot anything: Each stallion will be bid on by all of you lovely mares, and the mare with the highest uncontested bid will win a date with the stallion for tonight! The date will be agreed on by the winner and the stallion, and it will begin as soon as you step outside. Now, officially, the date ends at midnight, but if you wish to continue, hey, that’s all right with us! Just keep things legal, ladies, please.”

Feminine laughter drifted backstage, much to Imaginary’s chagrin.

“And do keep in mind that all of tonight’s proceeds will go to The Ponyville House of Refuge, so bid generously, ladies! Also, quite a few of the stallions backstage have spoken with the committee and have said that they will match the winning bid and donate the amount to the Ponyville House of Refuge as well!!”

Approving clops made the stage vibrate.

“And remember, all sales are final, no cheques or credit cards are accepted, and all payments must be made in Equestrian bits, and no exchange of goods or services are accepted. However, before the main sale begins, first we have a group of young volunteers who also want to do their part for The Ponyville House of Refuge, and have spoken to the committee—and their parents, of course—and they have asked to also be auctioned off tonight and sold for playdates to their peers. So, we begin tonight with the very recently established U-13 Auction! Let’s hear it for Ponyville’s very own 13-and-under colts!!!”

What??

Imaginary looked around, and saw several colts trotting about. At first he had thought that they were backstage only out of curiosity and maybe because their single fathers/big brothers/uncles couldn’t get a foalsitter for tonight, but now he saw all of the colts first gathering on the opposite side of the curtain, and then trotting up on stage. Was Pip Squeak up there? Could his sister have given him permission to do this?

His vantage point was too far away to see clearly who was on the stage right now, but he had an idea.

He charged his horn, and then sat down.

Or, at least, that was the illusion he cast. Now, fully cloaked, he quietly walked up to the curtain to see what was going on.

“A few minor modifications for the U-13 auction: their playdates will last no longer than 9 pm, and they will include an adult chaperone,” several colts groaned at that, making some ponies in the audience laugh. “The bidding will proceed as normal, and for all the fillies who are worried about not having enough bits tonight, fear not. The organizer of the U-13 auction stated that in case of a lack of bits, two of Ponyville’s wealthiest families will help out, and match the bids! Ladies and gentlecolts, let’s hear it for Mr. Filthy Rich and Mr. Hefty Pockets!!!”

Imaginary saw the two wealthy ponies stand up and wave to the crowd. Beside them were the two bullies—one with a new diamond tiara on her head—who were sitting smugly and looking with contempt at Mr. Apple’s sister and her two friends nearby. Quite an elaborate and very hastily set-up plan to prove that they weren’t destitute, but, he reasoned, at least the orphans would benefit from the bullies’ desire to show off their bits to the world. He turned to the stage as the volunteer colts stepped down, looking for his nephew, but much to his relief, Pip Squeak was not there. Maybe his sister thought that 9 pm was too late for such a young colt—

—he did a double take when he saw Mr. Sparkle—Spike—among the U-13 group. Which, he reasoned, was logical: the dragonling was not even a teenager by dragon standards just yet.

Looking back at the illusion of himself sitting in the queue, Imaginary decided to stay and watch the U-13 auction, just out of curiosity. He wondered who the bullies were going to bid on, if at all, and if they were going to be willing to actually go on a playdate with their prizes, even if it included adult supervision.

“To start the U-13 Auction tonight, first we have a fine specimen who likes to take things slowly, always pauses to smell the roses, takes time to pay attention to all the details, and yet was able to escape from the clutches of an Ursa Minor! He hopes to be a big show magician someday, let’s hear it for the unicorn: SNAILS!!!”

Imaginary then saw a lanky orange unicorn colt with a green mane and tail and a snail on his flanks trot up to the stage, and with his nose in the air, he paraded himself down the runway to the landing, where he slowly rotated for the fillies. Snails smiled with enthusiasm, and waited eagerly.

“The bidding starts at 10 bits…do I hear 10 bits?? Anypony?”

Snails stood there, still waiting.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just stood there, mocking him with their glares.

“Um…9 bits? Can we start at 9 bits? Any filly?”

Imaginary now saw the true intent of the bullies: they would get back at yesterday’s taunting by taunting the colts right back, in front of their parents and friends and peers and all of Ponyville as well.

He was considering casting an illusion to at least give the colt a few bits—

“FIFTEEN BITS!!!” yelled a filly somewhere in the audience. The entire audience, and Snails, gasped at the bid, and even more so the bullies, who hoped they wouldn’t have to pay for the ugly, lanky colt.

The emcee was also shocked at the bid, “Whoa, that’s the highest bid of the night so far! Fifteen bits, ladies and gentlecolts! Do I hear sixteen? No? Fifteen bits going once…fifteen bits going twice…SOLD to the filly with the lovely daisy on her flank!!”

Snails pumped the air and ran back down the runway, where an usher ushered him to the right, and led him to a table at the back of the auditorium, where the committee, the cash register, his parents, and his date, a baby-blue unicorn mare with purple hair and mane, were waiting, the latter with a very big smile on her face.

In the audience, the bullies strained to look at the two nerds. “Is she paying on her own? Is she???” Diamond Tiara wanted to know.

Having glasses meant she had slightly better distance vision, so after a few moments, Silver Spoon replied, “Um…yeah…she brought her own money. Don’t worry, D.T., we won’t have to pay for that,” she sighed with relief.

“He’s not the only ugly colt in town. Let’s hope the next ones also get low bids.”

√-1 √-1 √-1

The U-13 auction continued, and much to the bullies’ relief, the bids were relatively low at first, because the two colts that followed right after Snails were very plump: one was a turquoise unicorn with orange hair and tail named Snips, and the other was a gray earth pony with black hair and mane and silverware on his flank.

Nevertheless, despite their lack of flair, ruggedness, and good looks, they managed to get surprisingly good bids, as no colt was sold under their starting bid of 10 bits. The fat earth pony with the silverware, in fact, was sold for 20 bits to another earth pony named Peppermint Twist, and the bullies were going to have to pitch in 5 bits each to help pay for the bid.

So it seemed that the fillies in Ponyville didn’t care much about “good looks”; they had previously formed good friendships with the colts, and now those friendships were giving forth their fruits.

However, as more colts came up, Imaginary noticed that each one was considerably better looking and less overweight or underweight than the first ones.

And when Spike went up to be auctioned off, surprisingly, he brought in 47 bits, courtesy of Dame Rarity Belle’s sister, and the bullies were going to have to contribute 10 bits each.

It looks like Dame Sparkle did a good job in removing the ostracism of appearances from Ponyville. It didn’t just stop with the speciesism displayed against that zebra mare, but even went as far as to influence the children for good, he thought.

The auction continued, and now the “good looking” colts came up, and they were going for as much as 30 or even 40 bits. Only now did the bullies actually bid on the colts: it seemed that Dame Sparkle’s efforts stopped cold when it came to die-hard bullies like those two fillies.

Still, he was quite surprised when the emcee said, “And now, for all of you lovers of exotic ponies, here we have one who loves the night, is a great flier, has excellent hearing, is an experienced fire-fighter, and is a straight-A student! Give a welcome to Earshot!!!”

Quite a few ponies, including Imaginary, gasped when a night pony colt walked down the runway. While he had seen a few whenever he visited Canterlot at night, as a rather large number of them were part of Princess Luna’s Night Guard, this was the first time he saw one so young.

His fur was charcoal grey, and his mane and tail were purple, but what really stood out were his chiropteran wings, and his glowing yellow eyes, complete with vertical pupils. His ears were also a bit longer than a normal pony’s were, and his cutie mark was that of…

…Imaginary squinted. He wasn’t sure if that was a purple cocoon, a purple ear, or a turnip, with waves headed for it.

It wasn’t surprising that neither bully bothered to bid on Earshot, but much to his surprise, he managed to get 63 bits from a brass-yellow unicorn filly with a slightly curved horn, and a very tightly curled obsidian mane and tail.

Score another one for Dame Twilight Sparkle and the re-acceptance of night ponies into Equestrian society.

One grey pegasus colt named Rumble managed to get 75 bits, thanks to Scootaloo. The only reason he didn’t get a higher bid was because the bullies refused to pay more for a blank flank.

“Ah’ll meet up with yew two an’ Sweetie Belle an’ Spike later on,” whispered Apple Bloom to Scootaloo as the pegasus filly stood to claim her prize.

“You’re going to stay for the rest of the auction?”

“There’s one more colt up f’r bid,” the yellow filly smiled.

Scootaloo smiled and said, “Go get him, crusader!” and ran to the back of the audience.

The emcee declared, “For our last U-13 auction, here we have a promising reporter, with an eye for the right picture. He’s quite talented with photography and news editing! He’s also the current editor of the Foal Free Press, let’s hear it for FEATHERWEIGHT!!!”

“YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! THAT’S MY BOY!!!” rumbled Bulk Biceps from backstage, eliciting quite a few laughs. This was quite a surprise for Imaginary; he would have never thought that Bulk would agree to all this, even if it was for charity.

“We’ll start bidding at 40 bits. Do I hear 40 bits?”

“Fourty!!” yelled Diamond Tiara, looking smugly.

“I have 40 bits, do I hear 45?”

The audience hushed for several moments.

“FIFTY!!!”

Again everypony gasped. The bullies glared at the yellow earth pony blank-flank who sat with her arms crossed. It seemed she had her eye on Bulk Biceps’ kid for a while.

“SIXTY BITS!!” yelled Silver Spoon.

Almost with a sigh, Apple Bloom countered, “Sixty-one!!!”

“SEVENTY!!!!” yelled Diamond Tiara. There was no way she was going to be out-bid by a blank flank.

The emcee decided not to intervene as the bidding war continued.

“Sev’nty-one,” declared the Cutie Mark Crusader. Now it was a war not to get the pegasus colt, but to show each other up.

“EIGHTY!!!” Silver Spoon was not going to be out-bid either.

“Nann’ty.”

“ONE HUNDRED BITS, ALL OF OUR OWN!!!” yelled the two bullies simultaneously, bringing another round of gasps from the audience.

Apple Bloom just looked at them, and turned to the emcee. Before he could announce anything, she said, “One hunnerd an’ twelve bits with thirty-two cents!!”

At that, Diamond Tiara whispered to her friend, “There’s no way that blank flank can pay that much, even with help from her family!”

“Let her get stuck with the highest bid, and let’s tell our parents to not help her out! We’ll sneak around to the back, right behind her, and we’ll be right there to look at her face when her stupid sister tells her she can’t pay for that skinny colt!!”

The two fillies giggled evilly, and sat quietly, biding their time to see Apple Bloom’s smug face be wiped off her head.

Seeing that the bidding war stopped, the emcee resumed, “One hundred and twelve bits with thirty-two cents! That’s the highest bid yet! One hundred and twelve point-thirty-two bits going once…going twice…SOLD to the yellow filly with the big red bow!!!”

Amid another flair of music, Apple Bloom smiled, and went to get her prize. Stealthily, the bullies also stood and followed her.

√-1 √-1 √-1

Once the music died down and the stage and runway were clear, the emcee continued, “And now, for the main event that you ladies have been waiting for, The Stallion Auction!!!”

All the mares squealed and whinnied and stomped, making Imaginary roll his eyes.

“First, we have a very learned stallion, he’s an accountant and a public notary, and if you ask nicely, he’ll also do your taxes! Let’s hear it for—”

“SHE’S PAYING ALL OF IT????!!!!”

The audience laughed at the interruption from the back of the auditorium, but the emcee simply cleared his throat and continued, “Um…let’s hear it for Poindexter!!!”

All the mares, and Imaginary, balked when a lanky pale yellow earth pony stepped up to the stage and walked down the runway. His brown mane and tail appeared to have been dipped in engine oil. Sporting a green plaid bowtie with matching cuffs, he walked to the landing as if he were Faust’s gift to mares, despite his buck teeth, thick glasses, and…Imaginary wasn’t sure if those were freckles or pimples.

“We’ll start bidding at 100 bits. Do I hear 100 bits?”

Poindexter rotated slowly, waiting.

And waiting.

“Do I hear 90 bits? Does anypony bid 90 bits, ladies?”

And he waited.

And waited.

And now he was starting to sweat.

“How about 80 bits? Come on, ladies, he can get you the best tax refund this year!”

Maybe that was the key to the sale, because somepony yelled, “One hundred and one bits!!!”

The emcee smiled, and Poindexter sighed with relief. “One hundred and one bits going once…one hundred and one bits going twice…sold to none other than the Bearer of the Element of Kindness!!!”

Perhaps Imaginary should have been surprised, but given the circumstances, he wasn’t. After all, somepony as kind as Dame Fluttershy wouldn’t have let a pony like Poindexter be humiliated by paying a lower price, especially considering his talents.

The cloaked unicorn quietly walked backstage once more, and there he saw who was up next:

Mr. Apple’s cousin: Hayseed Turnip Truck, a pale-cream earth pony with brown mane and tail, also with buck teeth, but at least his freckles were normal-sized.

Imaginary looked around, and saw that the same setup was being used for the stallions as it had been for the colts: the gaunt, overweight, lanky, and less-than-stellar ones first, and the more handsome ones going last.

But if he was among the last ones, shouldn’t there be more stallions after them? Or perhaps they simply couldn’t make it tonight?

He took his place in the queue, turned off the illusion of himself, and waited.

Hayseed also managed to get 100 bits, much to everypony’s surprise, but Imaginary didn’t know who paid, since he didn’t know the mares in Ponyville that well. And the next stallions were sold for 200 bits or more.

√-1 √-1 √-1

As the auction progressed, the price per stallion kept rising steadily, and then there was a spike when Mr. Apple’s other friend, Caramel, went up to be sold. It seems that he already had a mare who had her eye on him, and another bidding war ensued, ending at 450 bits. There were even bidding wars between mares and stallions who represented the two percent of the other available stallions.

However, Imaginary looked at the end of the queue, and there were only three stallions after him: Mr. Stormfront, Mr. Biceps, and Mr. Apple.

Why was he placed near the end? At most, he should have been placed around the middle of the queue, perhaps right after that doctor who lived in that very tiny blue stable…

…speaking of which, he wondered if the doctor’s kaki outfit helped in getting a winning bid of 475 bits by a grey pegasus mare with a bad case of strabismus…

After the doctor, a black pegasus named Thunderlane was joint-bought by two pegasus mares—sisters, it seemed—for 500 bits.

“Heh, I knew Flitter and Cloud Chaser would pull off something like that!” laughed Bulk.

So by now, Imaginary’s own predictions were coming true: mares were forming herds to pool their resources and buy their stallions jointly, but he certainly didn’t expect it to happen halfway through the queue.

Ten stallions later, one of which almost started pole dancing without the pole, and it was Imaginary’s turn, almost. The stallion before him was a white blonde unicorn, quite similar to Prince Blueblood, but his cutie mark was that of an airship, and his mane and tail were a darker shade than that of the prince. Imaginary wondered if he was related to the prince, considering he had a very similar build, and the airship shipyard was just below the city proper of Canterlot.

And the blonde managed to rake in no less than 759 bits.

Now it was the moment of truth. Imaginary shook his tail, combed his mane back once more, and waited for his introduction.

“And here we have a fine specimen, technically not from Ponyville, but from Canterlot! A unicorn who works…at an institute in Canterlot, currently living…um…in Canterlot, of course! He specialises in…uh…” The emcee had to shuffle his notes, as some information seemed to be missing. “…magic, of course! What kind of unicorn would he be if he didn’t?” The audience laughed. “He enjoys…”

Now the emcee was truly stumped. Why had they allowed this incomplete entry? He quickly read through the blank lines…

“Hey, Imaginary, yew forgot t’fill in a line or two?” whispered Macintosh.

“Let’s just say I kept getting interrupted—”

“…ah, here we go,” the emcee suddenly continued. “He’s quite friendly and won’t hesitate to lend a hoof if you ask him nicely. He has strong friendship and family values…” He flipped the page over, but there was no more information. He wondered why the description stopped there, deliberately omitting the likes and dislikes. “Um…well, let’s hear it for…one who is despite his name, is quite real…here’s IMAGINARY!!!”

The brown unicorn sighed with resignation and stepped onto the stage. When the curtain opened, the stage lights and camera flashes threatened to blind him, but grudgingly, he did as he had been told: walk forward up to the end of the runway, and then stand still on the landing while it slowly spun around—which very much forced him to show his flanks to the entire audience, he suddenly realised.

Never had he felt more self-conscious than now, despite deliberately having not filled in the entire entry.

What was truly shocking for him, though, was the fact that some mares were actually whistling at him. Sure, they had whistled at some of the stallions that had gone before, but him?

“Bidding starts at 400 bits—”

Say what? Didn’t the previous stallion start at 300?

“Do I hear 400?”

Imaginary rotated on the landing, looking around at the mares who were studying every hair on his body, it seemed. No pony raised her hoof or yelled out a number, so now the emcee would very likely correct himself and lower the starting bid—

“Four hundred!!!” yelled a mare from near the back.

And before Imaginary could turn to try to see who had bid on him, from the opposite side of the auditorium another mare yelled, “Five hundred!!!”

“Six-fifty!!!!”

“Six seventy-five!!!”

“Seven hundred!!!” Strange, that bid came from right next to the mare who bid 650 bits.

“Seven hundred and ten!!!” Yuck, that mare sounded old.

“Seven hunnerd an’ fifty!! And yew gals know that young stallion is worth plenty more than that!!” And that mare sounded even older—

What? Mr. Apple’s grandmother was here???

And did she just bid on him???

“Eight hundred!!!” yelled two mares simultaneously.

Oh buck, no. They couldn’t POSSIBLY be forming herds to bid on ME!!

“Eight hundred and one!!!”

“Eight hundred and five!!!”

“Eight hundred and TEN!!!”

By now mares were practically jumping and hovering all over the auditorium. He had already doubled Mr. Caramel’s worth.

“Eight hundred and twenty!!!” Huh? Was that Ms. Lyra Heartstrings over there?? Maybe if she won the auction they would get a chance to catch up and talk about what they had done after graduating from—

“NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN BITS WITH EIGHTY-SIX CENTS!!!!”

Imaginary’s jaw almost hit the landing.

And every single pony gasped at the two mares who had yelled the bid simultaneously again.

And then an eerie silence filled the entire auditorium.

He wondered, though, if they bid that amount because they truly thought he was worth Ѡ915.86*, or if they just got caught up in the excitement of the bidding war.

And he knew that the two mares were sitting smugly, obviously proud of themselves, because no other mare was challenging their bid. He wanted to know who they were, but couldn’t see them because the camera flashes kept blinding him.

Finally, the emcee announced, “That’s…yet another record breaking bid! So, 915 bits with 86 cents going once…going twice…SOLD to…” he squinted to see who had won, “By Faust! TWO of the Knights of Harmony, ladies and gentlecolts!!”

Oh no.

He hoped to Faust that the two mares in question were not the same mares he was thinking about. He charged his horn and—

[WINK!!!]

—reappeared at the back of the audience, in front of the table where the mares were supposed to pay. Quickly, he looked around to see who had paid for him—

“Wow, you sure are eager to start your date, aren’t you?” said the mare at the table, who, strangely enough, was the same mare who had directed him to the library earlier that week.

Imaginary ignored her, and then stiffened when he saw just who was coming up.

He suddenly whirled toward the cashier and asked, “Nopony else can bid on me now?”

“Honey, I doubt any mare can afford you at this point, but even if she could, you’ve already been sold.”

They were getting closer.

“Okay, I’ll do these mares a favour, and pay for them, right here, right now.” He charged his horn again.

“You mean you’re going to match their bid? That’s mighty generous of you—”

“No, I mean I’m going to pay what they bid on me. We…had a previous arrangement,” he lied through his teeth.

“Oh…are you sure?”

At that point, the unicorn’s magic connected with his cash chest in his house, he fed it the coded runes that unlocked it and allowed him to access his money, and moments later, 950 bits materialised on the table.

He would have gasped with magical strain, but he was used to teleporting objects long distances. “I’m sure. Here are the 915 bits and 86 cents…and a little bit more for all your trouble.”

The mare was quite surprised at the unicorn’s magical feat. Her assistant on her right, a yellow unicorn mare with turquoise hair, scanned the money with her magic for a moment, and then nodded at her. No illusions or counterfeits here.

“Okay then, here’s your receipt, and sign here. And as soon as the mares sign too, you three can begin your date.”

Buck. They have to sign too.

Snorting, Imaginary signed and waited a few seconds for his “dates” to arrive.

And arrive they did.

“Hey, Immy! You sure are eager to start our date!” bubbled Dame Pie as she bounced next to him.

“Yeah! You left the usher waiting to ‘ush’ you here! Ha ha!!” Dame Dash landed next to Dame Pie.

“Most Excellent Knights of Harmony,” said Imaginary suddenly, turning to them, “as a gesture of generosity and gentlecoltness, I’ve gone through the trouble of paying for your bid, and adding a little bit more in benefit of the orphanage. All you have to do is sign your names here,” he pointed at the parchment on the table.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash’s jaws almost hit the floor, and they would have stood there in total silence if the emcee hadn’t called up the next stallion:

“Our next bachelor is Stormfront!! Currently employed at both Grapevine Hills and the Royal Equestrian Rogue Weather Bureau, he enjoys cooking, cloud sculpting, long flights by the beach, and is an accomplished aero-dancer…!!!”

“Is…is that true?” asked Rainbow Dash to the mares at the table. They both smiled and nodded.

“Oh…oh well, that’s…very generous and kind and gentlecoltly of you!” Even Pinkie Pie was flabbergasted and nearly speechless at Imaginary’s gesture.

“Um…yeah! Wow, Immy, that’s a very good side of yours that you have there!! I would have expected this from Big Macintosh, but…wow!”

Eagerly, the Knights signed their names, and the mayor’s assistant declared, “Have fun!!”

Imaginary looked at his “dates” and replied, “Oh, we will.”

With that, he turned and trotted off to the exit, with the two Knights following him, just when Stormfront’s bids reached 900 bits…

Author's Note:

*I’m using the symbol “Ѡ” for the Equestrian Bit, but other symbols may look better for it. If you want to see my suggestions, go to http://fav.me/d4vxph0 and post a comment on which one you think looks best.