Only an Imaginary Friend

by i_am_the_jam

An Imaginary Hermit

√-1 √-1 √-1

An Imaginary Hermit

Shortly after lunch, Imaginary winked into Ponyville again, this time not next to Sweet Apple Acres, but right next to Town Hall, so as to avoid any accidental meetings with any pony he didn’t want to meet.

He trotted up the stairs and felt relieved when he saw the front door open, and he stepped inside—

—and saw a work crew installing a stage and runway inside the auditorium.

Giving them their space, he trotted over to a green earth pony mare with an orange mane, and a gavel for a cutie mark.

“Excuse me, madam, but where is the registry for the Charity Bachelor Auction this weekend?”

The mare turned and appeared to give him the once over, as if wondering if he was auctionable material. “Our apologies, sir, but the main registry had to be closed today because, as you can see, Town Hall has quite a lot of installation work scheduled today.”

Imaginary almost felt relieved at the news. It was too late to sign up now, and he’d still give his donation to the orphanage, and neither Big Macintosh nor Bulk Biceps would be able to berate him about it—

“However, there is a secondary registry at the public library. You can go ahead and register there during their business hours, and once that’s done, the auction committee will contact you later this week if there are any last minute changes.”

Horseapples.

“Um…well, thank you for the information, madam, have a good day.” Almost fuming, Imaginary turned and left Town Hall.

And maybe it was his imagination, but he thought he could feel that mare staring at his flanks…

…nah. Only one mare had ever thought that he had good looks, but that had been a long time ago.

The stallion stepped outside and blinked away the sudden sunlight that poured into his eyes. He stopped for a moment to clear his eyesight—

—and suddenly two enormous blue eyes were right in front of his.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, and my Pinkie Sense™ told me that there was a pony in town that I didn’t know before and so I followed my Pinkie Sense™ and I saw you and I’m sure I’ve never seen you before and if I’ve never seen you before it means that you’re new because I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville—”

Buck. He was hoping to avoid this.

To avoid her.

“—and if I don’t know you then that means that we haven’t met yet which means we aren’t friends yet but that’s okay because I’m Pinkie Pie and I’m here to become your bestest friend—!!”

[WINK!!!]

Pinkie blinked for a while, having been momentarily blinded by Imaginary’s magical teleportation flash. “Huh? Where did he go?” she asked after blinking her eyesight back on line.

√-1 √-1 √-1

[WINK!!!]

Imaginary quickly looked around, and then groaned in frustration when he realised that he hadn’t teleported home, but to the entrance of Golden Oaks Public Library. Unfortunately, his last thought before meeting Dame Pie had been precisely “registry at the library” so his magic brought him here instead. Well, no matter. At least now he would be able to register in a quiet setting and then he’d be on his way to get—

A miniscule green dragon approached the library’s front door, and he was carrying a rather large load of quills and parchment.

Politely, Imaginary opened the door with his magic, albeit with quite a bit of effort, and allowed the dragon to enter first.

“Thank you,” said the reptile, waddling inside.

“You’re quite welcome, Mr. Sparkle.”

Spike turned, giving the stallion a questioning scale-covered eyebrow, “Uh…do I know you?”

Imaginary entered and closed the door. He replied with his library voice, i.e., a quiet one, “Not personally, Mr. Sparkle, but I do know that you’re the Secretary/Assistant to Her Highness Princess Celestia’s Personal Student, Dame Twilight Sparkle.”

“Um…yes, that’s true, but why are you calling me ‘Mr. Sparkle’? My name is Spike.”

“True, but if you recall, it was Dame Sparkle who hatched you, and she has raised you from birth, and since you have never been claimed by any other family—equine or draconian—you are by default a member of the Sparkle Family.”

“How do you know all that?” asked Spike, placing the materials on a table.

“It would be quite difficult for me to not know that, Mr. Sparkle. You and the Knights of Harmony are actually well known in Canterlot. After all, it’s not just anypony who gets immortalised in stained glass at the palace. That, and I was at the knighting ceremony several months ago. Also, I went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and everypony there very much knew about Dame Sparkle’s exploits from her first day.”

“Strange, if we’re well known, why does everypony there act like they don’t know us?”

“Jealousy, mostly. After all, it wasn’t a noble who managed to restore Her Highness Princess Luna or defeat that mad god Discord, and it was the first time non-nobles were knighted in…several centuries, I think. I guess they think that if they ignore you long enough, you’ll go away or something. But I doubt they’ll be able to forget what the Knights of Harmony did at the last gala, mind you.”

Spike chuckled for a moment, and agreed, “Heh, yeah! Say, is His Snootyness Prince Blueblood still getting icing out of his mane or tail?”

Imaginary leaned down and whispered, “Yes, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

The two looked at each other and then chuckled quietly.

“So, are you looking for a book, Mister…”

“Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Imaginary, Researcher for Equestria’s Magic Research Institute. And before you ask, yes, I’m quite real. And I’m not looking for a book just yet. I heard that the library was an alternate registry location for the upcoming bachelor auction.”

“Oh, you want to register for that? Follow me, then.”

The stallion allowed the dragon to lead him through the library, and as he did, he couldn’t help but feel something. “Pardon, Mr. Sparkle, but is your employer here—?”

And then, he felt it.

BIG TIME.

Not only did he suddenly become conscious of Twilight’s magical residue, he could feel her magical presence nearby.

“Uh, are you okay, Imaginary?” Spike wondered why the stallion had frozen in mid-step, with a facial expression that resembled that of a pony who had just met a manticore for the first time. “Twilight is here, yes. Do you want to talk to her?”

Very, very carefully, Imaginary set his hooves down. “Um…no…no, don’t bother her, please. I…just came to register for the auction, and I’ll be on my way.”

There was something off about the magical aura he was sensing. He felt Dame Sparkle nearby, but it was different from the other times he had been near her. Right now it felt as if her aura was being…

…amplified?

Muffled voices drifted in from upstairs:

“Atten-tion!” Pause, “Well? Aren’t you curious about how it went?”

“Oh! Commander Hurricane, sir! How did it go, sir?”

“Horribly! Those other tribe leaders are so disrespectful! Don’t they realize that we are a mighty tribe of warriors, and should not be crossed? We have got to break ranks with those weak foals!”

Pause, shuffling of papers.

“Clover the Clever! I need you!”

“Yes, your majesty. Did the other pony tribes see reason as I predicted?”

Buck, he knew that voice. Even her voice seemed to radiate magic.

“Those other tribes are impossible! I, for one, can no longer bear to be anywhere near those lowly creatures. The unicorns are noble, and majestic. We will no longer consort with the likes of them!”

Pause, shuffling of more papers.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to use th’ door, Chancellor?”

Silence.

“Ahem! Wouldn’t it have been easier to use th’ door, Chancellor???”

More silence.

“Pinkie!! Your line!!! Uh…Pinkie??”

“Hey, where did Pinkie Pie go? She knows we have rehearsal today!!”

All of the Knights of Harmony were here???

Spike whispered, “Don’t mind them; they’re just rehearsing for the Hearth’s Warming Eve play. I’m going to be the narrator!” he said proudly, extending his head spines.

Imaginary sighed with relief. At least they were busy and would not come downstairs. “That’s…quite an honour for you, Mr. Sparkle. I’ll be sure not to interrupt them.”

The two males eventually arrived at a table on a far wall, very much nestled in a corner of the library, flanked by shelves and more shelves of freshly dusted books. Spike then handed Imaginary several sheets, a quill, and an inkwell, and went to put away the newly purchased items.

Imaginary sighed and tried to ignore the mares upstairs as they looked for Dame Pie, and eventually he tuned them out as he quietly read the rules of the auction:

…Okay, all winning bids are final and non-negotiable…must be paid on the spot that night…if payment can’t be made, the stallion will be auctioned off again…the stallion HAS to agree to date the mare(s) with the winning bid that same night…the committee is not responsible for how the date goes…all participants are to keep things legal on their dates…there are no refunds…no checks nor credit cards are accepted…all payments must be made in Equestrian Bits…no exchange of goods or services are accepted as payment…officially the date ends at midnight of the day of the auction, and once the date ends the stallion is freed from any more obligations with the mare(s)…

Sounds simple enough.

With a sigh, and then with a grunt, he grabbed a quill with his magic, carefully dipped it in the inkwell, and slowly began filling out the form, trying to use his best hornwriting. He set aside one page and started filling the next one—

[BLAMFWEEEEEE!!!]

A blast of confetti and streamers, a banging of wood, and a screaming dragonling—who flew across the library after being whacked by a door opening explosively—almost made him do another emergency teleport, this time all the way to Canterlot. Instinctively, though, he set up a magic shield, which managed to protect him from the rain of confetti and streamers, and from the very excited pink earth pony mare who was bouncing on the table in front of him, staring at him with very wide eyes and a very creepy grin, reminiscent of a peculiar villain who wore lots of make-up in some detective comics he read several years ago.

“Here you are!!! I was looking all over Ponyville for you because my Pinkie Sense™ wouldn’t stop sensing you and when my Pinkie Sense™ won’t stop acting up it means that the new pony is still in town but it wouldn’t tell me exactly where so I had to ask around for you and then I remembered that I had seen you at Town Hall so I went inside Town Hall and asked around for you and the mayor’s assistant told me that she had seen you and that you were on your way here to the library and I FINALLY FOUND YOU AND I CAN FINALLY GIVE YOU A PARTY!!!!!!!!!”

Imaginary unstopped his ear, and when he did, he heard voices upstairs:

“What? What was that bang?”

“Pinkie, is that you?? When did you go downstairs?? We’re supposed to be rehearsing!!!!”

Then came the sound of hurried clopping as the Knights of Harmony ran downstairs to see what the commotion was.

Pinkie, naturally, ignored them and continued babbling, “So let me welcome you to Ponyville!!! I’m Pinkie Pie, but you already know that, but I’m saying it again anyway in case you forgot my name which is very unlikely because as you can see, my mane and coat and tail are the same as my name!! Pinky!!!”

“Spike? What happened to you?” asked Twilight as she reached the ground floor. “Pinkie?? Get off the table! And why are you yelling again?? This is a library!!!”

The Element of Laughter ignored Twilight, as was expected. “So…what’s your name, New Pony In Town??” She blinked excitedly at him, but Imaginary didn’t reply. When he didn’t, Pinkie noticed something. “Hey, how do you make the confetti and streamers float in the air like that?? Oh, wait, you’re a unicorn, and you’re using a magic shield to keep things clean? Are you worried about me getting the library dirty? Don’t worry, I’ve held parties in here before, and Twilight doesn’t mind!”

“PINKIE!!”

Now giving him bedroom eyes, like she did with Cranky, she asked again, “Sooooooo…what is your name??”

Imaginary gave her a response she wasn’t expecting. With an expression of disgust toward the mare, he said, “Dame Pinkie Pie, would you kindly lower your voice, please? This library is currently in its business hours, meaning that it’s functioning as a proper place of reading and research, meaning that under its rules, everypony in it is required to speak quietly in consideration of others. And please get off this table. I’m sure the librarian won’t appreciate you bouncing on it.”

Pinkie, naturally, ignored his request and continued demanding very loudly, “But I’ve GOT to know your name otherwise I won’t be able to write it on your cake, and I know you wouldn’t like it if it just said, ‘The New Brown Unicorn Stallion Who Arrived In Ponyville Today’!!!” It was then that Pinkie noticed the forms he was filling out, so she twisted her head so that it was upside down, pressed her face against the gold-earth force field, and read the forms. “Imaginary?? Your name is Imaginary???” She pulled away from the force field and her head spun back to its original non-contortionist position. “That is the neatest, bestest, most imaginary-est name I’ve heard! I’ll have to throw you an extra imaginary-est party just because of that!!”

Snorting, Imaginary charged his horn again and cloaked the forms, rendering them invisible. Looking around the pink mare, he saw Twilight, and asked, “Madam Librarian, would you be so kind as to impose some semblance of order in here? It’s difficult for me to work here under the present circumstances.”

Pinkie yelped when a purple aura surrounded her and pulled her off the table and away from the stallion, and she “oof’ed” when she was set down rather heavily behind Twilight. “My apologies, sir. My friend tends to get a little excited when meeting new ponies,” she glared at Pinkie, “and she tends to forget this is a library where ponies are supposed to be quiet, especially when other ponies are trying to read or study!!!”

Finally realising her error, Pinkie bashfully laid her ears back, smiled sheepishly, and whispered, “…sorry…”

“Thank you, madam,” he said, turning off his shield and de-cloaking the forms.

A few bits of confetti and streamers floated to the floor.

And now it was Twilight’s turn to have her curiosity piqued when she saw him work his magic.

She quietly approached him as he continued filling out the forms, and quietly asked, “Pardon me, sir—”

The quill nearly flew out of Imaginary’s telekinetic grasp as he jumped in his chair.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but I couldn’t help notice that you cast a spell to set up a force field and another spell to make the parchments invisible…simultaneously…well, not quite simultaneously, but you did cast one spell after the other and held both without any visible strain.”

Imaginary tried not to start fuming because he kept getting interrupted, but he was being questioned by Princess Celestia’s Personal Student herself, the Knight of Harmony. So he had no choice but to humour her. “Yes…they weren’t much of a load because I didn’t cast them at the same time, and the force field wasn’t that large, either, and it doesn’t take much hornpower to render the parchment transparent. If I had been running low on magic, I would have simply made them, and the ink, the same colour as the table. Light bending is quite difficult by itself, but transparency and camouflage…not so much.”

He was about to continue, but Twilight insisted, “Oh, I know that much, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a unicorn who could cast an invisibility spell so quickly.”

Imaginary sighed and was about to request for quiet again, but he was interrupted by a dragonling who spoke while rubbing his head, “Why would you say that, Twilight? He went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, like you.”

The purple unicorn’s purple eyes widened at that piece of information, and she suddenly teleported right in front of the table with a high pitched “ping”, startling the stallion yet again. “You did? Wow, I didn't know there were any other CSGU alumni in Ponyville except Lyra Heartstrings!”

Imaginary blinked, “Ms. Heartstrings lives here now?”

“Well, from what you heard from my dragon assistant, my name is Twilight.”

The stallion completed her introduction, “Yes, Dame Twilight Sparkle, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Magic, Personal Student of Her Highness Princess Celestia, Two Time Champion of Equestria, and Rescuer of Her Highness Princess Luna. Your…reputation precedes you, Dame Sparkle.”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to blink. “‘Dame’?” It was the first time somepony addressed her with her official title. “Oh, you’re referring to the knighthood we received five months ago. But I don’t exactly remember you from CSGU…not that it would be your fault specifically, Mister—”

“Imaginary!!” blurted Applejack, stepping up to the table. “Fancy meetin’ yew here, Sugarcube, an’ at this hour o’ th’ day, too!”

“Wait, you know him?” asked Pinkie, almost indignantly.

Imaginary was about to reply, but Applejack continued, “Sure! He pops raght into town every mornin’, very early, Ah might add, but he an’ Big Macintosh are great friends, an’ any good friend o’ Macintosh’s is a good friend o’ th’ whole Apple Family, raght, Sugarcube?”

The male was again about to reply, but right there the orange mare gave him a very heavy pat on his back, which she considered to be a friendly gesture, but he considered it to be a manœuvre a pony would do if another pony was choking.

And this time the quill did go flying off his telekinetic grasp.

“Well, good t’see yew here! But whut brings yew here, an’ at this hour o’ th’ day, too? Normally yew juss’ show up at th’ crack o’ dawn t’buy groceries an’ fancy equipment.”

Again Imaginary tried to reply, but he was interrupted this time by the other earth pony mare. “HOLD IT!!! Applejack, you mean you KNOW this pony, and you never told me you knew him, even though he lives in Ponyville and I’m supposed to know everypony in Ponyville but I don’t know HIM???”

The stallion tried to explain, but Applejack beat him to it, “Now, dontcha get yer mane up in a knot more than it already is, Pinkie. Imaginary here lives very far from th’ last house an’ farm in Ponyville, an’ that’s why he winks into town all th’ tahm! Why, when Big Macintosh goes over t’his house f’r a visit, it takes him ‘bout an hour’s trot or more t’reach it! Th’ only way t’get there faster, if yer not a unicorn, is by pegasus.”

“Hey, YEAH! I know you too!!” Imaginary was about to set up his shield again, because now it was Rainbow Dash’s turn to get in his face, though this time the pegasus was hovering above the table.

“You know him too????!!!!”

Imaginary froze. Dame Pie almost sounded like she was growling.

“Of course I know him, Pinkie! He’s just the creepy hermit who lives between Ponyville and Canterlot! Once a month one of the weather team flies to his house to pick up his monthly weather order!”

It was here that Imaginary balked. He was about to shove his force field into the pegasus’ face, but fortunately for her, Twilight’s telekinesis yanked her tail back to the floor. Still, he managed to ask, “I beg your pardon?”

“Rainbow, that was very rude!” scolded Rarity.

“Yeah, Rainbow! Ah’ll have yew know that Imaginary here is not some creepy hermit, otherwise Big Macintosh an’ Bulk Biceps wouldn’t have become friends with him in th’ first place!”

“You know Bulk?” asked the blue mare, rubbing her sore flank. “Why has he never told me about you, either?”

Applejack replied for him, “Eh, it’s a stallion thing.” Then she turned to the other pegasus who was hiding behind Spike, and added, “So don’t worry, Fluttershy, Imaginary’s mah friend, so it’s safe f’r yew t’come closer.”

Fluttershy, naturally, still hid behind her mane, and only replied, “Um, pleased to meet you, sir.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Dame Fluttershy,” he said with a slight nod.

And here, all the mares, and Spike, blinked at him.

Twilight spoke, “There’s that ‘dame’ thing again, Mr. Imaginary. I know that’s the title we were officially given, but we really don’t have much use of it, especially among friends. Still, I suppose you know who we are, then: Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. On behalf of the Knights of Harmony, let me formally welcome you to Ponyville…and please accept my apologies for the rather brash behaviour of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash—”

“HEY—!!”

“—I know they can appear to be a bit aggravating, at first, but they do mean well. After all, they’re my friends.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Most Excellent Knights of Harmony. And forgive me for interrupting your rehearsal. I’m just here to fill out these forms, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“But wait!” Pinkie approached him again, though this time somewhat more calmly. “I still don’t understand why Applejack and Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps and even Twilight happen to know you, but I don’t, and I’m supposed to know everypony in Ponyville! Hmm…could it be that I already held your Welcome-To-Ponyville Party already and I forgot? Could it be that I already met you but I forgot because you don’t show up in town during the day?”

Imaginary sighed, and explained, “Dame Pie, you don’t have to worry about giving me any party,” the pink mare seemed to ignore him as she pulled out a small notepad from her mane and furiously searched through it. “First of all, I don’t think many ponies would want to visit my house because it’s so far away, and secondly, technically I don’t live in—”

“AHA!!!” she shouted suddenly, hitting a page with her hoof. “I KNEW I hadn’t given you a Welcome-To-Ponyville party!” Pinkie shoved her notepad back into her mane. “Because I know everypony in Ponyville, and if you’ve been here for so long, then I HAVE to give you your Welcome-To-Ponyville party AND an extra-extra-extra LARGE housewarming party to make up for it!”

“Dame Pie, I don’t actually live in Ponyville—”

“Oh, yes you do, Imaginary…hmmm…can I call you ‘Immy’? I’ll call you ‘Immy’ if you call me ‘Pinkie’! I know ‘Dame Pie’ is what everypony calls me up in Canterlot, but we’re not in Canterlot! We’re in Ponyville where titles don’t matter!”

“First of all, no, you may not call me ‘Immy’. Second, I’m addressing you as ‘Dame Pie’ because as a Knight of Harmony and a Champion of Equestria, you deserve a little more respect than what you’re currently being given in Canterlot. Third, no, I don’t actually live in Ponyville even though I do most of my shopping here. And fourth, I’ve lived in my house for several years now, so a housewarming party would be a trifle pointless at this point in time.”

“Why would you say that? Isn’t your house just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there past Whitetail Woods?”

“It’s way past Whitetail Woods, and that’s why I wink into town all the time but, no, it’s not in Ponyville…look, let me explain this to you:”

Imaginary charged his horn and materialised in front of them a rather detailed ærial view of Ponyville, Canterlot, and Whitetail Woods.

“You see, while my house may be closer to Ponyville than Canterlot…” A dotted line suddenly appeared between the two towns, “…this is the official Ponyville-Canterlot District Line. As you can see, the Canterlot District extends quite some ways from the foot of Mount Canter—it was divided like that after the railway was laid out, precisely to keep things in order with the railroad—and the Ponyville District starts where the actual fertile land begins in the valley. My house is very close to the District Line. So unless a major political shift happens between the two districts, for the time being I pay my taxes, and vote, at the Canterlot Town Hall.”

Pinkie noticed that Imaginary didn’t actually point to his house, and it wasn’t labelled anywhere in the map, so she asked, “Oooooo, neat…so where IS your house, Immy?”

The map suddenly disappeared right when his horn stopped generating an aura.

“Like I’m going to show you my house, Dame Pie. And do not call me ‘Immy’.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was quite impressed by that display, but before she could ask him anything else, Imaginary signed the last form, and hoofed her the parchments.

He stood and declared, “And as I said before, my apologies for interrupting your rehearsal; I truly hope that my interruption does not cause any problems in your performance this winter. It’s been a pleasure meeting you all—”

As he stood, however, Rarity walked up and also gave him the once over, considering he was going to be auctioned off this weekend, and she was going shopping that night, too. “Oh, please, darling, don’t be in such a hurry! You’re among friends here! Any friend of Applejack or the Apple Family in general is a friend of ours! Say, if you live closer to Ponyville than Canterlot, why haven’t I seen you around? And if you also do business in Canterlot, I’m sure you would require a set of formal clothes which I would be most happy to provide.”

“Well, as Dame Apple said, my schedule sadly conflicts with everypony else’s here: I can only show up in the very early morning or late evening, though I do tend to show up occasionally during the day. However, it seems that every time I do, none of you are in town.”

Applejack snorted, “Now how many tahms have Ah told yew not t’call me ‘Dame’, Sugarcube? Yew make me feel lahk Ah’m back in Manehatten! And no, don’t yew call me ‘Miss Apple’, either, yew hear??” Then she turned to the others, “But it’s true. It seems that every tahm we go outta town, Imaginary here shows up durin’ th’ day, an’ eventually Big Macintosh tells him everythin’ we’ve done.”

“So that’s how he knows so much about us,” said Fluttershy, barely making herself heard.

“And it’s your exploits and achievements that make you truly deserve your titles, Most Excellent Knights of Harmony. You six are quite worthy of being addressed with respect and—”

“Oh, stop it, ‘Immy’!” Applejack gave him another very heavy pat on the back, making him cough for about a minute. “If’n it was all about goin’ on adventures an’ bein’ heroes an’ everythin’, yew’d also qualify f’r knighthood, raght along with Big Macintosh an’ Bulk Biceps!”

After recovering his breath, Imaginary eyed Applejack with confusion. “Huh? But the three of us haven’t done anything that remotely approaches anything the six of you have already accomplished!”

The orange mare laughed, “Now don’t tell me yew forgot whut happened when th’ six o’ us were in Appleloosa.”

“Something happened in Ponyville when we were visiting your cousin?” asked Twilight.

“Darn tootin’! Well, not quite in Ponyville, but it was still somethin’ huge. Didn’t yew read in th’ newspapers ‘bout a train accident up in th’ mountain that caused a whole trainload o’ logs t’come tumblin’ downhill like a huge avalanche o’ trees?”

Twilight thought for a moment, and replied, “Yes, I remember that. But the newspapers said that the avalanche didn’t harm anypony or any houses because it happened in an isolated area, and no ponies who were on the train were injured or killed! Imaginary, were you on that train along with Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps?”

Again, Applejack replied for him, hugging him very tightly with only one arm, “Ha ha, nope! This fahn stallion here wasn’t up in th’ mountain, he was at th’ foot o’ th’ mountain! Yew know, raght where his house is? Raght in th’ path o’ th’ avalanche?”

“Dame Apple, I would hardly call that a heroic event, and it certainly wasn’t something that I did on my own, precisely because your brother and Mr. Biceps were there to help me.”

“Wait,” said Twilight, “the newspapers didn’t mention anything about three stallions saving the day! What exactly happened, Imaginary?”

The brown stallion sighed and explained…

√-1 √-1 √-1

The log avalanche rumbled closer and closer, and showed no signs of stopping or slowing down. Whatever tree that hit a rock or a stump and stopped rolling or turned perpendicular to the flow was simply bounced over by hundreds of trees that continued on their path toward Imaginary’s house.

“Ah don’t suppose yew can stop it with yer magic?”

Imaginary shook his head in a near panic, “Well…if I tried really, really, really hard, I could stop one…with a bit of an effort…”

Bulk Biceps hovered above them, “Well, look on the bright side, Imaginary, maybe your house will stop the avalanche and save the train tracks, and you’ll be able to build yourself a new house a bit closer to town?”

The unicorn didn’t reply, but tried to remember a lesson a friend of his taught him long ago. “You know, maybe I can’t stop this by myself,” he suddenly replied, “but perhaps the three of us can…”

“How? Yew’re th’ only one here with magic!” snorted Big Macintosh.

“The only one with unicorn magic, Mr. Apple. But we also have here a pony with Earth Pony magic, and one with Pegasus magic, and that just might be enough for a trick a very close friend taught me once.”

“What was the trick?” asked Bulk, now raising his voice because the rumbling was increasing in volume.

“Follow me!!!” shouted Imaginary, and the three galloped, not away from the logs, but toward them.

“This had better be a VERY good trick, Imaginary! Ah’m not about t’leave mah sisters alone just t’save yer house!!”

The logs bounced closer and closer

“You’ll be okay! Trust me on this one!!” And Imaginary then whispered to himself, “Because I trust you, dear Abstract.”

Then, he recited very loudly to his friends, “The basics of telekinesis are almost philosophical, as are the various theories concerning the existence and mechanics of magic! When dealing with non-living objects, you have to establish that there is an intelligent, logical, and thinking part, that’s YOU, and a non-intelligent, non-logical, non-thinking part, and that’s the object!”

“Yew might wanna hurry with yer lesson, Imaginary!”

As the first logs were less than 20 metres away, the unicorn started trotting backward, and his friends did the same.

“When dealing with objects larger and heavier than yourself, first, don’t try to resist the object!”

“Don’t try to resist??” yelled Bulk. “How are we supposed to stop them if we don’t resist???”

“First, instead of resisting, approach the object, and then…become one with it!!!”

“Become WHUT??? What’s that supposed t’mean???”

Imaginary didn’t reply. Instead, as he continued trotting backward, he allowed the first and largest log to bound up to him until it pressed on his chest. The unicorn still didn’t try to stop the log, but continued trotting backward at the same speed the log was rolling.

Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps then understood what he was doing. The three also positioned themselves against the log so that it pressed against their chests, so that now the log was still rolling downhill, but with a controlled speed and trajectory.

“Don’t resist the object, become one with it!! Become one with the logs! Become one with the avalanche!!!”

Above them, the rest of the trees caught up with them and smashed against the first log. Again, the three stallions didn’t resist the blows, but allowed them to speed up their reverse gallop. The three of them strained to keep up, pressing themselves against the wood but not so much that it would cost them a broken rib or shoulder.

When they felt the whole of the avalanche pressing against them without any more sudden jolts, Imaginary continued, “And once you become one with the object, the object now has an intelligent, logical, and thinking part!! And that part is YOU! YOU can now order the object to do your will!!! Let your magic flow through the object, and make it an extension of your body!!!”

Only then did Imaginary’s horn glow. His gold-earth aura first enveloped the first log, but then slowly expanded, flowing up to try to envelop the rest of the avalanche.

“We are now one with the avalanche, and since we have the brains, we can now bend it to do what we want! First, we slow it down!!!”

Imaginary gasped when he slowed down his reverse gallop, as tons of wood pressed on his chest. Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps, too, felt the pressure on their lungs as they began their gradual deceleration.

Sweating buckets now, the unicorn intensified his aura as he “grabbed” the entire avalanche and commanded it to slow down.

Much to their relief, the three felt the avalanche slowing down.

“D—don’t try to stop it suddenly!! Take away its speed and momentum!! Gently—apply a brake!!!”

Their reverse gallop now slowed to a trot, but it was still moving too fast for Bulk’s liking. He turned around and saw Imaginary’s house getting bigger and bigger.

“Aaaaaand…HOLD!!!”

Imaginary suddenly clamped his four hooves on the ground, stopping his trot, but he still skidded downhill as the logs’ inertia continued to fight him. Moments later, Big Macintosh and Bulk did the same, further subtracting speed and momentum from the avalanche.

They skidded quite a long ways down; nevertheless, their speed continued to decrease. Imaginary forced his magic to not only grab the logs, but also press them against the hillside. Big Macintosh channelled his earth pony magic to make himself one with the hillside as well, thus gradually making himself an immovable object, and Bulk Biceps flapped his deceptively tiny wings like there was no tomorrow, as if he was trying to fly forward and even push the avalanche uphill.

And if anypony, or anyone, were watching, they would have seen a faint aura emanating from Big Macintosh’s legs and Bulk Biceps’ wings.

Not only that, but the muscles of all three stallions bulged through their coats as they physically strained to stop.

It was the combination of the three types of pony magic that eventually ground the avalanche to a halt, just as the stallions’ hindquarters pressed against the property stone fence.

As soon as they felt themselves stop completely, Big Macintosh and Bulk Biceps detached themselves from the log and quickly found rocks and smaller logs, carrying them over and wedging them against the front logs, immobilising the flow for good.

And as soon as they did, Imaginary cut the flow of magic and his horn stopped glowing.

And he suddenly collapsed on the ground.

Bulk Biceps and Big Macintosh thought they were imagining things, but it certainly looked as if smoke was flowing from the tip of Imaginary’s horn.

“Th—thanks, my friends—the loggers should come down here and pick everything up—in the meantime—I—think I will rest a bit—I think I used up my entire font for this little trick of mine—drat—” he suddenly realised, “—if I almost used my entire font, that means that I’m going to be asleep for quite a while—could you tell the dean of the Magic Research Institute that my next…report…will…be done…next…week…………or two…”

Imaginary fell unconscious.

“We’d better carry him inside. He’ll probl’y be sleepin’ f’r a whole week…”

√-1 √-1 √-1

“I had to stay in the hospital for a week. Not in a coma, mind you, just sleeping from magic exhaustion. While my illusions and shields and teleporting are impressive, even by your standards, Dame Sparkle, my telekinesis is, unfortunately, not my best ability. I imagine that you would have been able to not only stop the avalanche, but also return the logs to their original positions on the train. Mr. Apple and Mr. Biceps told me that the loggers and train crew eventually arrived and saw what happened, and they helped in getting me to the hospital when they saw that I wasn’t waking up. Mr. Apple and Mr. Biceps also dealt with the reporters who wanted to know what we did, but lucky for me, they know I don’t like being the centre of attention, so they just told them that ‘the avalanche simply stopped’. It also helped that the railroad and the logging company paid us a huge compensation for our ‘inconvenience’, begging, of course, that we wouldn’t reveal to the press all of the details of the accident. I used a bit of the money to buy myself a new watch, too,” he lifted his left hoof to show his analogue watch. “I’ve been getting new research equipment, too.”

“But…is that all you received, darling?” asked Rarity. “A ‘compensation’? Why, that avalanche could have not only destroyed your house, but also the train tracks further downhill! You’d think that the Royal Equestrian Railroad would at least have requested the Royal House for tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala as a reward for you.”

“Well, Dame Belle, I don’t mind that at all. I never did like formal get-togethers, much less the Gala; after all, you seven are witnesses of just what a stuffy shindig it actually is. Besides, I’m not much for formal clothing, either.”

“But aren’t you going to the Bachelor Auction? Oh, darling, you must wear something formal for it! It will greatly increase your chances of getting high bids!”

“I ‘must’ wear something formal?” Imaginary turned and walked back to the table, where the official rules of the auction still were, and scanned them with his right hoof. Moments later, he said, “Odd, the committee doesn’t say anything about it being a formal presentation. I guess we stallions just have to look our best that night, but formal wear isn’t mandatory.”

“But darling, you simply must allow me to make something for you. Your fly-away mane simply has this…je ne sais quoi that most stallions simply can not carry off as well as you.”

The stallion tilted his head. “You really think so?”

“It’s a little wild, but it seems to suit you. And your roan coat…hmmm…what goes well with a roan coat?” Rarity started walking around the stallion. “Definitely not purple. Maybe a shade of orange to bring out your eyes. Black goes with everything of course, and would match your fetlocks…with orange highlights.”

“Well, Dame Belle, I’m not much for extremely formal events…right now any outfit you’d design for me wouldn’t get much exposure.”

“Pish tosh, why so formal, darling? Please, call me Rarity.”

“It’s…a trifle difficult for me to become familiar with other ponies, especially those of your rank…and exploits. You should know more than anypony that your knighting wasn’t just ceremonial. I was there, too, Dame Belle.”

“Yes, of course, but ‘tis hardly ever mentioned, now is it? And seriously, why is the title for a female knight ‘dame’? It makes me feel like an old nag.”

“It’s not just anypony who gets immortalized in stained glass in the Canterlot Hall. From the visits I make to deliver my findings, there is a lot of resentment going around the Canterlot unicorn elites because you managed to achieve that rank, even if they do owe you their lives. It’s as if they think that by ignoring you and the other Knights of Harmony, they won’t get their noses rubbed in the fact that you are a Champion of Equestria, and they’re not. As for ‘Dame’, I doubt you’d want to be called ‘Sir’, and ‘Lady’ only applies if you were married to a knight. There is also the archaic ‘Ser’, but it sounds quite a lot like ‘Sir’, which might explain why there haven’t been many mares vying for knighthood in Equestria…”

The stallion would have continued, but then he saw Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie approaching, obviously to ask him more questions.

“And while this conversation has been very educational, I’m afraid I have to be going now—”

“But wait!” The plea came not from the earth pony or the pegasus, but from the purple unicorn. “I know we have rehearsal today, but would you like to stay for tea, at least? I would love to hear more about my fellow students from CSGU. To…well…catch up…I guess, because interacting with them is what I should have done during my time there.”

“I would love to stay and chat, Dame Sparkle, unfortunately,” he glanced down at his watch, “I have to pick up my nephew from school.”

“School?”

Applejack suddenly bent down and yanked Imaginary’s foreleg up with her teeth, ignored his yelp and near loss of balance, and read the time on his watch. “Dang! School’s nearly out, an’ Ah have t’pick up Apple Bloom, too!” She turned to the pink mare and added, “Pinkie, we’ll have t’rehearse later, but make sure yew memorize awl o’ yer lines, okay, Sugarcube??”

Pinkie Pie blinked, but smiled and replied, “Okie dokie artie-chokey!”

Imaginary and Applejack trotted out the door, with Imaginary politely opening the door for her with his magic, again with quite a bit of a strain.

“Thank yew kindly, Sugarcube.”

He grunted as he released the door. “You’re quite welcome, Dame—”

“Ah told yew not t’call me that!”

“Pardon.”

Unfortunately, Imaginary couldn’t seem to leave his problems behind, because the rest of the Knights decided to follow them: Twilight wanted to continue talking, Pinkie Pie still wanted to know where he lived, Rainbow Dash wanted to know what else he knew about their exploits, Rarity had pulled out her drawing pad and started sketching a design for his formal outfit, and Fluttershy simply didn’t want to be left behind. And Spike just wanted to see what else happened.

Twilight caught up with him and continued, “Mr. Imaginary, I’m sorry if I’m sounding a little insistent, but is it okay if we talk on the way to the schoolhouse? I simply want to know where the students of our class are working and/or studying right now—”

“Hey, Imaginary!!!” Rainbow Dash interrupted Twilight’s question, and positioned herself above and in front of Imaginary, deftly flying backwards without any problems. “So you signed up for the auction? Heh, that’s one way of introducing yourself to all of the available mares—and two percent of the available stallions—of Ponyville!” she chuckled. “But just so you know, you are up against some very heavy competition, literally! I mean, Big Macintosh—”

“Dame Dash,” he said curtly, and very determined to not look up at her. “As the captain of the Ponyville Weather Team, do you know if my order for this month has been properly received and processed, and if will be delivered without any problems?”

Rainbow blinked at his non-sequitur question, but replied, rather subdued, “Your order has been processed accordingly, and it will be delivered on schedule. But Immy, could you stop it with the ‘Dame’ thing? ‘Dame Dash’ just doesn’t sound as cool as ‘Rainbow Dash, Knight of Harmony’!” she struck a heroic pose above him. “Now, about the auction—”

“Uncle Imaginary!”

Unfortunately for her, they had now arrived at the schoolhouse, which the colts and fillies were running away from, as if it were some kind of monster. And Rainbow Dash’s question was interrupted by one particular colt who was approaching the group very quickly.

“Pip! My favourite nephew!”

“Yeah, right! I’m your only nephew!”

The tiny pinto colt galloped as fast as his stubby legs could carry him toward the brown unicorn stallion. Two metres before he reached him, Imaginary took a mock aggressive stance, charged his horn, and Pip Squeak squealed with joy as the gold-earth aura suddenly catapulted him into the air. Several summersaults later, the colt landed on Imaginary’s back, who flexed his knees to soften the landing.

“Whoa, there! You’re getting heavier every time we meet, Pip! Has your mother been feeding you gemstones laced with iron?” Imaginary wasn’t kidding. Even for a foal, the fact that Pip was an earth pony made him quite heavier than he looked.

“Nah, I’m just a growing stallion, and one day I’m going to be just as big as you, Uncle!”

Twilight, meanwhile, realised something was amiss. “Wha—Imaginary, I thought you said your telekinesis wasn’t up to par! How in Equestria were you able to do that trick with Pip?”

“Believe me, it took me quite a while to learn it, and I had a good deal of motivation to learn it, right, Pip?” he asked, bouncing the colt a bit.

“That’s why ‘e’s my favourite uncle!”

“Pip, I’m your only uncle.”

Twilight thought for a moment, and continued, “Let me guess, Pip: your mother is a unicorn, and your father is an earth pony?”

“Whoa, ‘ow did you know?”

Imaginary chuckled, “Nothing gets past Dame Sparkle, Pip.” He then turned to the mare, “It was my sister who decided to take a job up in Trottingham, and there she met Oblique Squeak, and they eventually married. After this fine specimen was born,” he bounced the giggling foal a few more times, “they decided Trottingham wasn’t the best place to raise a family, so I recommended they move to Ponyville. They arrived shortly before Nightmare Night.”

“And Ponyville is the best place ever!”

“Despite all the craziness that happens here just about every week?”

“I don’t mind the craziness, Uncle. In Trottingham, nopony sings or dances in the streets.”

“Good point there. So, you started school already?”

The colt sighed, “Ugh, yes.”

Imaginary raised an eyebrow, “Something the matter there, Pip? Having problems at school? Are the other foals making fun of your accent?”

“Nah, school is fine, and there are nice ponies there, but…there are these two bullies who don’t like anypony who is still a blank flank.”

Imaginary stopped. “Bullies? Have they been harassing you?” he asked, quite seriously.

“Not yet. They just ‘ave it in for three fillies they ‘ate. Not sure why they ‘ate them, though.”

“Really now? And I take it your teacher hasn’t done much about that problem?”

“She thinks everypony deserves a second chance. And a third one. And a fourth one. And a—”

“Say no more, Nephew. I’ll look into this problem…and perhaps I’ll give your teacher a few suggestions…” The stallion turned to the mares and declared, “Well, like I said before, Most Excellent Knights of Harmony, it’s been a pleasure meeting and speaking with all of you, and again, I apologise for interrupting your rehearsal.” His horn charged up once more. “If any of you will be making bids at the auction, well, I guess I’ll see you there. Have a most pleasant day.”

“But Immy, what about your—”

[WINK!!!]

The stallion and the pinto colt disappeared.

“—party?” Pinkie Pie just stood there, despondent. Cranky Doodle Donkey at least had been blunt in rejecting her parties, but Imaginary seemed to have chosen to simply brush her off, as if she wasn’t there.

“Is it just me, or does that guy seem a bit…hermit-like after all? It was as if he didn’t want to talk to us!” Rainbow Dash snorted in annoyance.

Twilight pondered, “Or he’s just not very talkative, period, a bit like Fluttershy, right, Fluttershy?” The mare in question squee’d quietly and hid behind her mane. “But you must also consider that he was in a hurry, and he thought he caused the interruption of our rehearsal, when, in fact, the interruption was caused by you, Pinkie.” Now it was Pinkie’s turn to squee in embarrassment. “And you also have to consider that he’s from Canterlot, technically speaking, so he considers us to be Very Important Ponies, and he’s giving us…well…”

“A respectful distance?” asked Rarity. She looked up to Rainbow and added, “He was intent in giving us our space, and treating us formally, but he didn’t have any problems when he picked up his nephew. That doesn’t seem very hermit-like at all, Dash. And he is going to the auction; I doubt any hermit would even want to come near one of those.”

“He’s juss’ a nice quiet stallion,” said Applejack, as Apple Bloom trotted up to them. “An’ maybe a tad shy, too, lahk Big Macintosh. An’ since he’s from Canterlot, he can’t help but be polite an’ formal, ‘specially t’us, yew know, ‘THEE Knights o’ Harmony’,” she said with flair. “An’ mostly everypony he meets he calls ‘em ‘Mister’, ‘Miss’, or ‘Missus’, even th’ foals! Lahk our sisters, Rarity, he calls them ‘Miss Apple’ and ‘Miss Belle’. Before our knightin’, he also called me ‘Miss Apple’ as well. He even calls Big Macintosh ‘Mr. Apple’ even though they’re good friends. Big Mac doesn’t mind, though; Ah guess that’s juss’ how Imaginary is.”

“But how am I going to give him a party? He DESERVES his party, and even MORE now because he, Big Macintosh, and Bulk Biceps stopped that avalanche!”

Twilight stepped up to Pinkie, “Well, he’s not as brash as Cranky, but he is just as reserved. Maybe if you ask him, you know, politely, and without pressuring him, or getting in his face,” she scolded, “he’ll eventually agree.” Then she thought a bit, “But he does have a point. It might be quite a problem to hold a party in a house as far away as his…”

Pinkie just stood there, again, as the colts and fillies dispersed, and as her fellow Knights also went their way and bid her their farewells.

All except Rainbow Dash.

“Say, Pinkie, did you give Pip Squeak’s family their Welcome-To-Ponyville Party?”

“Of course! What kind of party pony would I be if I didn’t?? But it had to be a short party. They had just moved in, they were very tired, and Pip was very, very, very eager to go out on his first Nightmare Night.”

Rainbow thought for a moment, and asked, “Pinkie, was Imaginary at that party?”

Pinkie blinked.

And blinked some more.

With a sudden realisation, she blurted, “No, he wasn’t!! And he wasn’t anywhere in the Nightmare Night celebration, either!!!”

“Then maybe our favourite Egghead isn’t exactly correct about Imaginary’s reasons for not wanting to be around us…”

“So you don’t think that Immy really, really, really doesn’t want a party because, according to him, it would be ‘pointless’, and also not worth the trouble, because he lives so far away?”

The hepta-chromatic mare hovered above the pink one, thought for a moment, and replied, “Let me figure out that last one, Pinkie. I’ll tell you what I find out tomorrow, okay?”

Pinkie stood there one more time, but she suddenly smiled and replied, “Okie dokie lokie!!!”

With that, the two mares bid each other farewell, and Rainbow Dash sped toward her cloud mansion, while Pinkie Pie bounced back to Sugarcube Corner.