Lyra and Bon Bon Screw Up

by bahatumay

Chapter 3

Rarity finished stirring the cup of tea and gently gave it to Lyra.

“Thanks,” Lyra said, taking a little sip and feeling the warm liquid begin to calm her.

“I've found that chamomile does wonders to relax the worried mind,” Rarity said simply, picking up her own cup and taking a sip herself. “So, would you like to talk about it?”

“I think I'd better,” Lyra said slowly. “It always helps, right? Talking about traumatic experiences?”

“Often,” Rarity said.

“Ok,” Lyra said shakily. “It started three weeks ago...”

* * *

“These are beautiful,” Bon Bon said, looking at the invitation. It was simple, really. Just the two of them, sitting in front of a sunset, their tails entwined with Lyra gently resting her head on Bon Bon's shoulder. Yet somehow, it was perfect. “I almost feel bad for making fun of that camera colt, now.”

The Lyra not in the picture also rested her head on Bon Bon as she looked at it, too. “It looks great. You make me so happy, have I told you that?”

Bon Bon replied with a gentle, chaste kiss to the base of Lyra's horn. “Yes. But I still think I'm the lucky one, here.”

Lyra closed her eyes expectantly. See, Bon Bon was uncomfortable showing off her feminine, affectionate side. So after every time she let something like that slip, she would always spout some angry comeback or snarky remark, and this time was no different.

Bon Bon nudged Lyra roughly with her head. “Tell anyone I said that, and you won't get any for a month.”

Lyra shuddered, remembering the last time Bon Bon had made good on such a threat. Those had been the worst two weeks of her life.

“Promise,” Lyra said, bringing a hoof up to cross her heart.

Bon Bon sighed contentedly. “So, we'll send these out to be reproduced, and we'll send them to everypony we know.” She paused. She and Lyra had been together for such a long time, but had never met her parents. Not sure how she should bring this up, she decided to go with what felt normal. “You're going to invite your parents, right?”

Lyra growled.

Bon Bon was slightly taken aback. Lyra never growled. She purred, she whined, she moaned, she squealed, she whimpered, and she giggled; but she never growled.

“Touchy subject?” she asked.

“How did your parents take your... announcement?” Lyra asked.

Bon Bon knew she was referring to coming out with the fact that she had fallen in love with another mare. She sighed and cleared her throat. “It was late at dinner one night.” She put on one of her impressions, and Lyra snuggled closer in anticipation. She loved it when Bon Bon used her different voices. It almost felt as though she were there, watching the scene itself. When she closed her eyes, she almost couldn't tell if it were Bon Bon, or if she were listening to a memory.

“So, Bon Bon. Hearth's Warming Eve is coming up,” Bon Bon said, in her father's voice.

“Yeah, so?” Bon Bon asked in her normal voice.

“Is there anypony you want to, say, bring home for us to meet?

Bon Bon switched her voice to that of her younger brother Caramel Corn, or CC for short. “What? Some colt is dating Bonnie? I pity the fool...”

Bon Bon shot her brother a glare.

“Well, you have been going out a lot at night,” Bon Bon's mother said. “Are you sure there isn't anypony special?”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, but she had been planning to come clean eventually, and now seemed like a good time. “Maybe.”

Her mother dropped her fork in surprise. “Really? What's his name?”

Bon Bon licked her lips nervously. Planning to do it and actually doing it were two very different things. She steeled herself and spoke. “Well... her name is Lyra.”

“Her?”

Bon Bon nodded.

“You're going out with another mare?”

Bon Bon nodded.

“And she's ok with this?”

Bon Bon nodded, a bit more uncertainly this time. That had not been an expected response. 'Was she ok with this' What was that supposed to mean, anyway?

“And now you're each other's very special somepony?”

Bon Bon nodded with finality. She braced herself for various reactions—anger, surprise, rage, disgust...

But she hadn't been expecting celebration. Bon Bon's mother squealed in happiness and joyfully hugged Bon Bon's father. “She has a very special somepony!”

“I can't believe it! That's amazing!” he yelled in celebration, returning the hug. Bon Bon's mother was bouncing in excitement, whooping and celebrating.

“You know I'm sitting right here, right?” Bon Bon said. She turned her eyes to CC, who was obviously trying to avoid saying something. Her eyes narrowed. “Say it. I dare you.”

“Wow... if a mare will go out with you, I won't have any trouble finding one!” Laughing, he quickly ducked as Bon Bon threw her fork at him.

“So... they celebrated?” Lyra asked for confirmation.

Bon Bon nodded. Then, realizing that Lyra couldn't see from her position, she responded vocally. “Yep. Guess they thought I'd be single forever, so they nearly wet themselves in excitement when I told them I found you.” She paused. “I think my mother actually did when I told them you moved in with me... My dad stepped outside, but I heard him shouting in celebration, and I'm pretty sure he tried to do a backflip because he came in limping.” She shrugged. “I guess that's my fault. Sometimes I am a bit... I think the foal-friendly term is 'brash'. So when I found you... they thought it seemed too good to be true.”

“Now that I will take as a compliment.” Lyra wiggled even closer and wrapped her forelegs around her lover. “Because I kindof think we're too good to be true, too.”

Bon Bon paused expectantly. Wait a couple seconds, and Lyra would reciprocate.

Sure enough, she did. She released Bon Bon and rolled, laying down with her head top of Bon Bon's back, almost as if she were at a psychiatric appointment. “My dad's dead, and my mother hoped I'd be single forever,” Lyra muttered. “She kicked me out of the house when I told her I liked mares.” She rolled onto her stomach, pulled Bon Bon in closer, and buried her head further into her ribs, as if fending off bad memories. “She wouldn't even hug me good bye when she did...”

Bon Bon fought the urge to roll her eyes again. Lyra was a very affectionate pony, and expressed her love through physical touch. The two were one and the same in her mind. If Bon Bon ever pulled away from a hug or cut a kiss short, Lyra would wilt and instantly run through a mental list of things she might have done wrong to anger her. It sounded silly to Bon Bon, who much preferred spending time doing things together to express her love, but Lyra had probably been emotionally crushed by that lack of farewell contact.

The bright side was, Bon Bon always knew what to do to calm her down. She herself rolled onto her side, pulled Lyra up closer so more of their bodies were in contact with each other, placed Lyra's head against her chest, and brought up a hoof to stroke Lyra's mane tenderly, making sure to breathe deeply so Lyra could feel her breath against her mane. She was quickly rewarded for her efforts, and Lyra's breathing soon began to calm. When it had returned to normal, Bon Bon spoke again. “So are you going to invite her?” she asked.

“Not with this invitation,” Lyra said bitterly. “This is special. She'll probably stick it on the wall and throw darts at it or something.” She raised her voice in a rambling, mocking imitation of her mother. “'So unnatural and so wrong you'll never be happy without a stallion and you'll never have foals and you'll never give me grandchildren and you'll be such a failure nopony will hire a freak like you two mares is just weird and you're wrong and...'” and her voice trailed off to derisive mumbling.

Suddenly, her ears perked up.

Bon Bon's hoof froze in midair, no less than three red flags going up in her mind. “Oh, no.” Bon Bon knew what whatever was coming, it would end strangely. “Whatever you're thinking, it's not a good idea.”

Lyra pouted. “But you haven't even heard it yet.”

“Do you ever have good ideas?”

Bon Bon let out an involuntary gasp as Lyra gently brushed her hoof against her inner thigh. “I fell in love with you, didn't I?”

Bon Bon stammered a reply. “That's not a good idea. I'm a bad pony. You should stop.”

“That's not what you were saying last night,” Lyra snickered, earning herself a slightly harsh flick to her horn.

But a few seconds later, just like Lyra knew she would, Bon Bon sighed and relented. “Fine, fine... I'll bite. What is your new idea?”

“She thinks we're weird... we'll show her just how weird we are.” Lyra grinned. “I'll get the suits, you get the crop.”

* * *

In the present day, Lyra turned back to Rarity. “And then we pulled out our special together box, and we, uh... 'had some fun' and took some pictures of the aftermath.”

“So those markings were real?” Rarity couldn't help but ask.

Lyra nodded distractedly. “They're not deep, but they're real. We're not stupid, you know.”

“They looked real.” Rarity raised an eyebrow as something else occurred to her. “Special together box? Is that what they're calling my intimate designs these days?”

Lyra didn't answer that one. She set her empty teacup down and began to pace frantically. Now that her tea was gone, her body resumed freaking out. “Those pictures were only for my mother! I just wanted to shock her! I didn't think anypony else would see them! Oh, Bon Bon is going to be so embarrassed! Well, I'm embarrassed, but she's going to die of shame! I'm going to die too—she's going to kill me! No. On second thought, she's going to kill me, bring me back to life and make me clean up the mess, and then kill me again. We'll both be dead!”

“Well, it can't be too bad for her. She is the one on top, after all.” Rarity paused, slightly morbid curiosity getting the better of her. “You were the only one with crop marks. Do you ever... you know... switch roles?”

Lyra didn't even pause her pacing and answered absentmindedly. “Tried it once. It wasn't as fun. I think that's only one of two or three times we've ever used our safe word. But what are we going to do? Everypony's seen it, everypony has been laughing at us...” She gasped. “Bon Bon doesn't know!” She turned to the white unicorn. “Rarity, could you...”

“Long, black, identity-concealing cloaks?” Rarity turned and pulled that very item out of one of her many storage chests. “Way ahead of you, darling!”

“...actually, I was going to ask if you could go get her, but that works too.”

* * *

“Bon Bon!”

The earth pony mare looked up. Her eyebrow raised as she took in Lyra's strange apparel. “Did Nightmare Night come early this year? Don't tell me—you're going as the grim reaper. And where's the stuff I asked you to get?”

“No time. You have to come down to Rarity's! There's something important you have to see.”

Bon Bon turned back to her work. “The only thing I want to see is a few more sales before lunch time.”

Lyra had the decency to look around to make sure there were no foals around before responding. “And I want to see you on our bed on your back with your legs spread invitingly, but we don't always get what we want. Now put this on and let's go!”

* * *

There was no bloodshed at the house of Rarity that day.

Well, no physical bloodshed, anyway.

“You incompetent foal!”

Though it wasn't from lack of trying. Bon Bon was suspended midair in Rarity's blue magic, but that didn't stop her from swinging wildly at her marefriend, trying to punch her, or at the very least cause her great physical harm. Lyra had taken to cowering behind one of the many ponnikins, only raising her head barely.

“You said those were just for your mom!” Bon Bon shouted.

Lyra looked up ever so slightly from her cowering position. “They were supposed to be, but-”

“But nothing! The whole entire town has seen us! How does this not bother you?”

“It does, but in my defense, you're on top; you should be less embarrassed tha-”

“Shut up! The wedding's off! There will be no sex—there will be no physical contact!—until we straighten this out!”

Rarity stepped in, which was a good thing, as Lyra looked as though she had been hit by a train and all the happiness in her life had just been sucked right out. Which, in a manner of speaking, in her mind, it had.

“Now, Bon Bon, let's not overreact here...”

“Overreacting?" Bon Bon spoke to Rarity, but kept her glare fixed firmly on what little of Lyra she could see. "I am underreacting! My life has been ruined! Everything has been ruined!”

“Well, I'm not exactly enjoying this myself!” Lyra retorted angrily, with tears starting to trail down her face. “If you don't remember, I was on that invitation too! And I was on bottom! How do you think I feel?”

“I don't know. Stupid? Because I'm pretty sure this is all your fault!”

“I wasn't the one with the crop!”

“If you weren't such a-”

Rarity had had enough bickering. Splashes of water to the face does wonders to cool down two angry mares.

Or, you know, divert their anger to a new target.

“How does that help?” Bon Bon demanded. “How?”

Rarity smiled primly. “Well, it's quite simple. Now, you're not focused on each other, you're focused on me. I think I can fix your whole situation. I'll have to call in a few favors, but I think I can get this back to normal and the wedding can go on as planned.” After all, if weddings were canceled, so were orders for wedding dresses; and making those was her favorite part of any ceremony. Except for eating wedding cake. That, however, was classified information.

Bon Bon's eye twitched. “Then share, oh wise one.”

"Very well." Rarity set Bon Bon down and quickly ran a hoof through her own mane to make sure it still looked fabulous. "I assume you have an original invitation that you wished to distribute?"

Bon Bon glared at Lyra. "No, actually. That got sent away to Canterlot for publishing."

Rarity frowned and dropped her hoof. "Well, that does throw off my idea just a bit... Might the pony who took the picture have the negative still?"

"Maybe," Bon Bon said, "But as I recall, his last words were, 'if I never see you two again it'll be too soon'."

Rarity nodded. "Ah... Perhaps you could persuade him differently."

Bon Bon's eyes narrowed into daggers. "I am not going to make out with Lyra in front of a colt just to get him to give us the negative."

Rarity reared back in shock. "That was not my idea at all! I was going to suggest explaining the situation and hoping that chivalry is not totally dead!"

"But can I at least have a hug?" Lyra asked, raising a hoof in what she hoped was an innocent, 'I-need-some-comfort' manner. She was ignored.

"Oh. Like that."

"Yes."

* * *

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Rarity asked.

"I meant what I said," the colt said, crossing his forelegs. "They was nothin' but trouble, and I don't want to help them at all."

"Not even a little bit?" Rarity asked, leaning forward and batting her eyelashes. "I'm sure a kind-hearted stallion like you could find the generosity to..."

"Sorry, filly; I don't swing that way."

"What if I-"

"And I hate clothes, especially the gaudy rags you make."

Rarity recovered quickly, but Lyra could see her jaw tighten. "All right, then. Come with me, and allow me to propose a counter offer."

The colt cocked his head and frowned. "Meaning?"

In response, Rarity grabbed his tail with her magic and dragged him, ignoring his numerous loud and vocal protests, into the back room. Suddenly, the room fell eerily silent.

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other nervously. Lyra was the first to break the silence. "What do you think they're doing back there?" she asked hesitantly.

"I think I'm afraid to ask," Bon Bon said.

Soon, the door opened again. Rarity walked out, looking as prim and proper as she normally did. The camera colt, on the other hoof, was about as pale as Rarity's normal coat color, and shivered uncontrollably, as if in a blizzard only he could feel.

"And you'll get started on those new invitations right away?" Rarity asked.

"Y- yes, ma'am," he said shakily. "You'll have enough for the whole town by tomorrow morning."

"Oh, good. Pleasure doing business with you, my good colt," Rarity said calmly.

As they exited the shop, Bon Bon couldn't help but speak up. "What happened to hoping for chivalry?"

Rarity answered without missing a beat. "Sometimes, dearie, a lady simply must get things done. Now, phase two begins early tomorrow, so go home, get some sleep..." She leaned in closer, "And at least give Lyra a hug good night, can we?"

"She gets a single foreleg hug, does that count?"

Rarity shrugged as Lyra suppressed a squeal of joy. "I suppose it will be sufficient."

Author's Note:

(nothing's quite so embarrassing as forgetting to hit the publish button... this should have dropped yesterday)

Comments

[Uncr3at1ve]

I do feel sorry for that camera guy... taking the picture of two crazy mares then having another mare, I'm going to assume threaten, him within a couple days... but he insulted Rarity's dresses so I guess he got off easy.

[Jondor]

Oh dear. Lyra, you dun goofed.

I like the insight into their personalities and backgrounds here. It brings them to life quite nicely.

[Wise Cracker]

I'm pleasantly surprised at the depth in this situational comedy. I have to admit, I did not see this coming. And Rarity, goodness gracious me, that's a nice portrayal of Rarity. Very in character, and very likeable. Too many fic writers can't seem to use her properly.

The only nitpick I have is the way the flashbacks are written. It's a flashback in a flashback, and there's no visual cue for how the perspective shifts. Bon Bon is narrating the whole thing, yet the text then shifts to how it actually happened, which is a bit jarring. Other than that, great stuff all around .

[Bakmah Genesis]

Ooh. Lyra, you bucked up.

[Twi-Guy]

The only thing that I can imagine Rarity threating him with is some kind of counter gossip.

[Ninelives]

These two really are perfect for each other haha.
I love how well they know each other, all the funny noises Lyra makes,
Bon Bon storytelling ability... :).

"And she's OK with this?"
AHAHAHA XD

"If Bon Bon ever pulled away from a hug or cut a kiss short, Lyra would wilt and instantly run through a mental list of things she might have done wrong to anger her"
Aww!

Lyra freaking out is cute :)... until Bon Bon finds out.
She's still cute, but mostly I just feel really sorry for her :(.
The last line was just great.

Best chapter yet!