• Member Since 16th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Wolfie 03


No one is really a grown up. They just act old because they have to. - An anonymous little girl to her big sibling.

Sequels1

  • TA New Kind Of Party
    Two mares have found a new kind of party of the heart with one another, something the original party mare never thought she'd find and one the librarian never thought of before. Can they find the right balance to enjoy this new feeling? Find out
    Wolfie 03 · 159k words  ·  114  8 · 3.2k views
T

Twilight moves to Ponyville, learning about friendship with the help of her five best friends. Little does she know that one of these friends has always wanted a little more than friendship. Can she learn about a new kind of friendship? How does 'Pinkie Sense' work? Will two of the most polar opposite mares in the town ever realize what they mean to one another? Find out in the story of the Party Animal and the Bookworm!

Edit: yes, I've changed a few things if you are re-reading this. I'm trying to get it all updated and fixed up; please let me know if anything's wrong. Gwg is a HUGE help in editing this among all my other work.

If you don't like it and give it a thumbs down, please let me know; I like to learn what I did wrong to either fix it or grow from it.

This story takes place in the same 'universe' as all my other stories; The Cutie Mark Crusaders - Fillies on a Mission!, A 'Not So Simple' Simple Life, Taming the Storm, and Tank's Monologue. Reading the others isn't required but it helps to give a fuller picture of what's going on.

The sequel is A New Kind of Party. Enjoy!

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 147 )

After seeing your PM, I checked out your profile to see what kind of writer you were, and boy was I excited to read a :pinkiehappy::heart::twilightsheepish: story. I agree in the fact they're my favorite shipping. Too much cuteness.

So, regarding the story. If this was what you were referring to in the PM, I'm completely okay with it. In fact, have a fave and thumb because I enjoyed reading it and would like to see more. However, its length was pretty short and would've been better elaborated. Another thing that lowered my enjoyment was grammar--it wasn't really bad, but some of it was distracting. You had Pinkie's voice down almost perfectly, though some parts were worded oddly. Overall, it was very enjoyable with some portions that could use some improvement.

I really want to see this fic succeed, so I'll submit it to the groups I'm a part of in hopes of getting it more attention. I also need to read the second chapter... but best of luck! :pinkiehappy: I would highly suggest joining more groups and adding your stories to them regularly, as that is the most important way of getting more attention. Let me know if you'd like some more pointers or anything of the like. :pinkiesmile:

I love twipie Pinkie deserves someone like Twilight. If you ever do a chapter during Griffon the brush off i like to see Twilight's jealousy over Pinkie talking about hanging out with Dash and being upset over the whole Dash/Gilda thing then Twi will ask her if she's in love with Dash. oohh i love drama and fluff.:pinkiehappy: I can so see Twilight being jealous over Pinkie practically chasing after Dash.

There are some good ideas here but you are suffering from a very common newer author problem in that you tend to tell instead of show. For example in your story you have this section,

"Rarity was pleased to have a chance to relax and offered to bring the blanket for them to use.

Applejack agreed while offering to help with the food.

Rainbow Dash agreed as soon as Pinkie Pie mentioned food and Fluttershy was nervous but agreed in the end after hearing that everypony else was going"

Right there you essentially described a good bit of a full scene with just a few sentences fully devoted to telling you the scene. While this is not bad it does mean you missed a chance at adding to the story by describing actions more fully and using dialogue. To further illustrate my point let us use a common scene from "Feeling Pinkie Keen" where Twilight lights herself on fire due to frustration with the Pinkie sense. What you previously written would boil down to describing that scene as

"Twilight became very frustrated"

Some parts of your story go another step forward and go like this

"Twilight became so frustrated that she burst into flames".

The second one is better because you are showing an action in addition to telling us how she feels (you also can get bonus pints if you can use an action to describe a feeling without stating the feeling directly). Even so you can take this an even bigger step forward b making it more desrciptive

"Twilights lip quivered as her blood shot eyes bulged from her attempt at holding back her emotions. In a final scream of utter frustration the spark was lit and her mane blazed with the ferocity of an small angry volcano".

Just an example (it might be a little verbose) of how there are stages of show and tell. There are times where telling is important but even so be more descriptive about it. If you describe an entire scene in just a couple sentences you probably were not descriptive enough or the scene does not serve a purpose. Honestly sometimes it is hard to tell the difference in your own stories (trust me editing yourself is very difficult).

I like it, but the way it is written does feel a little straining. Maybe you should separate the dialog with paragraphs for a start. And don't have the paragraphs all bulked together. Also switching perspectives so quickly kind of surprised me. But it got me interested in Twipie so I think I'll look that up now. All in all good effort but I'd get someone to proofread maybe in the future to make it better. You definitely got Pinkie down but so that's a bonus:pinkiehappy:
Good luck:twilightsmile:

2830154 yeah, I figured a good way to show what I was planning/doing was to just post it since I wasn't sure when you'd be able to respond. Glad to see you liked it, my weakness does lie with grammar and some typing errors. The next thing is to see if I get Twilight's voice down. :twilightsheepish: Thanks for the thumbs up, favs and posting about it.

2830255 Not a bad idea. I didn't want to focus too much of right after/before/during the actual episodes (since that would make it a whole lot longer), but sometimes I wonder if I should. It would be interesting to see if nothing else. I'll keep it in mind. :pinkiehappy:

2831302 Thanks for tips. I could always use the help becoming a better writer. Those parts did feel weird to me, but I didn't want to elongate the story with every little step. But after reading your comment, I realized that's how the show is and it added a lot to the overall story. I may have to go back and fix it. Perhaps sooner rather than later. I'd want a proper story base before moving onwards. :twilightsmile:

2831701 I wanted to show the basic perspectives of the main two before having them interact with each other (Twilight gets one soon), sorry if it was too abrupt of a change. I thank you for the tips on writing, I'm still new and trying to do it all myself doesn't work out very well sometimes. :twilightblush: I'll see if I could find anyone to review it before I completely post it.

2832863

Your worry about making a section to long is a good one. I would say to avoid making it too long use what you have as a base and then ask yourself "is this scene needed?" and if yes then "what sort of little details could I add that either pushes the plot forward, shows off character development, or just shows off a characters personality?".

If you find yourself making a small scene into multiple paragrpahs and getting nowhere you are probably going too far.

2887753 Yep. :pinkiehappy: From this day forward, she'll either go herself or send Spike to get cupcakes to start the day. No correlation to a certain cotton candy maned, frosting and cake smelling pony at all :twilightsmile:

I know that song she's singing ;)

Good chap keep it up

2888914
Took me a bit to figure out which one you were talking about, I'm going to have Pinkie be rather musical (in her own way of course :pinkiehappy:) so I had to find which one I did in this one. Did you figure out the song due to the hint of wording, how the song sounded or the link? I'm not too good with typing out songs so far. Hopefully I'll get better. :pinkiehappy: Glad you like it.

2924254 The wording, I'm a big fan of Invader Zim from way back +remember when it was a new show) and I mean come on, Pinkie and GIR? Too good. Keep up the good work

i really enjoyed reading this chapter

2984809 :pinkiehappy: Glad you liked it. It was a little challenging to write about a cloud city that they never fully explain or explore, so I had to go with the flow. :twilightsheepish:

Rainbow Dash grabbed a light cream cup, Fluttershy picked a light blue one, Rarity choose a light orange cup, Spike grabbed a white one, Applejack picked a red one and Twilight choose a pink one. The party mare tried to contain her excitement at the various colors chosen and what they might mean, subconsciously, of course.

SHIPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though I don't understand who the red cup is... Big Mac? I don't know.

3024605 For the most part, I think at this stage AJ just doesn't have anypony she is interested in and choose red for Apples. :ajsmug: But I have decided how her story will be going. And yeah, couldn't help but put in a 'subconscious' shipping. :pinkiehappy:

3024612 So you ship FlutterDash, RariJack, TwiPie, and possibly Spike x Rarity

3024643 Yeah, pretty much. Rarijack and Spike and Rarity are hard to choose between since we see so many things in the show for Spike and Rarity (even if they are different species) but then there's the obstacles to overcome for those two and the fact that Rarijack mesh really really well together. But I think I favor Rarijack a touch more now, after having read the micro comic series, as Rarity is out 'relaxing' she has three pictures set up (we see no hint of others). One is of her cat, one of Spike and one of AJ (AJ only, not with the others at all). Makes me think she likes AJ more (and they are more plausible than a dragon and pony, sorry spike)

3024685 Observation!
Yea I don't know why but I just don't like spike as much as the Mane 6... sorry spike

3024696 Yeah, I think it's to contrast him from the girls. Sometimes he's nice and sweet, and then he does a full flip around and he's mean/rude or conniving (though that may be part of his dragon nature showing through).

And while Rarity does make Spike a better being in general, the tie breaker between the two shippings was when Applebloom made Twilight look like Rarity a little in The Cutie Pox and you see Spike looking at Twi like he would normally do for Rarity. I decided at that point that a good portion of his 'liking' of Rarity was due to outside beauty, which isn't enough to sustain a relationship.

3024772 Yep. Sorry, I like to chat/debate. That and reasoning out loud/through typing helps to think things through sometimes. :twilightsheepish: Thanks for reading my story so far though! :pinkiehappy:

3024789 Yea no problem. Sorry I'm usually pretty chatty myself but I'm 16 and I had an 8 hour day at work today so I'm fairly tired. Yea I only read the story cause it was ya know... good. and stuff.:pinkiehappy:

3024800 It's all good, I understand long days. :pinkiehappy: Though the pause makes me nervous about WHY but hey, so long as you don't think it's a waste of bits on a computer, then it's all good. :ajsmug: :twilightsmile:

Hopefully you get some sleep soon after reading all the great stories on this site. :D

3024812 No really I think this story is good

gwg

I for one---who has reading this story from the beginning to this present point in the past few hours---think it is coming along splendidly. there are a few grammatical errors but otherwise it is great to see your skill as a writer and this story are progressing nicely. if you would like someone to help edit your work before you post it, I would be happy to offer my services.:twilightsmile:

3043924 I would like that. :pinkiehappy: I go over the chapter at least three times before posting it and then I STILL go over everything to check that it looks right/reads properly. :applejackconfused: Gets to the point where I don't even want to read the thing anymore. :applejackunsure:

However, I don't know how to work those googledoc? thingies. Still rather knew to the site, and not sure how to post the chapters for someone to look over before publishing. :twilightsheepish: I have lots of stories lined up in my mind, it would be nice to have another's view on them without being looked at like I'm weird for writing about ponies. (My friends are not bronies... :facehoof:)

Damnit AJ. Why did you ruin a perfectly romantic moment?

I'm being a little picky in saying that they haven't confessed and it's been 13 chapters. But a good story non the less.

3050793 well, I did warn that there would be a lot of flip flopping back and forth between the two. But don't worry, the spark will happen soon! :twilightsmile:

Glad you like it though so far. :pinkiehappy:

3050704 yeah, they are my favorite shipping aside from TwiPie (they keep pushing each other out of number one with the different stories I read). :pinkiehappy:

Wait, only one more chapter left? Confession time, bitches!

Yay! :yay: It only took 15 chapters but a good story none the less.

3080382 glad you liked it. I wanted it to feel more natural of how much they came to like each other and not just suddenly they were both in love. That and most of the first season was better when they were waffling back and forth. :ajsmug:

Keep an eye out, the next story I'll be posting about are the adventures of the CMC, with a TaviScratch one after that, and then more mane 6 shipping. Then there's the sequel for this one too. :pinkiehappy: Lots to look forward to.

gwg

you're right that is a lot to look forward to
and hopefully i can continue to be part of the process

i hope you do a sequel i really enjoyed reading this twipie is my favorite pairing

3080614 Believe me, I like having another person to check how I'm doing writing wise. :pinkiehappy: You'll still be part of the process. :twilightsmile:

I really liked this. just... I really liked it. Can't wait for whatever else is coming!

3089627 :pinkiehappy: I love hearing these kinds of comments (the other kinds can be said as well, but nothing lights up my day than someone else liking my story). Glad you liked it, whole lot left for their story that will be coming after a few other stories start. So they can all intertwine. :twilightsmile:

3089638 Yea I'm thinking of doing something similar with three of my favorite ships. All interconnected and stuff.

I think all of us wish to someday wake up in the arms or holding your special somepony :twilightsmile: :pinkiesmile:

3147498 indeed. I believe that is the best kind of way to wake up. :twilightsmile:

Hopefully everypony finds their special somepony so that they can feel that kind of happiness. :pinkiehappy:

Interesting rendition of Cups and a nice look at the subconscious of the main cast.

While I would prefer RariJack over RariSpike, does AJ's cup signify a brother complex, or is there another meaning? Sounds like you have material for another complicated look into the characters with just that one scene.

3305786 well, I was originally going for that AJ likes apples (and the color red) and that she wasn't really looking into romance. Though since this is the second comment like this, I'm starting to wonder if I should look into that when I finally get around to finishing the overhaul of the story... :applejackunsure::ajsmug: Thanks for the comment though!

Also, at the time that I was writing this chapter, I was leaning towards RariSpike, but after reading some more stories (as well as some really well written Rarijacks) and thinking about Spike as a being, I realized that his liking of Rarity is almost completely superficial and decided to go for a Rarijack instead.

gwg

3306432 I just assume this means that neither Rarity or AJ are even thinking romantic thoughts for each other yet, since I have been given the opportunity at a peek at your verse, and have an idea as to where it is going.

3354726 aye, very much so. At the time, neither one is thinking romance.

I'm finally getting around to reading this. I have to say if I'm going to judge from the intro this should be a very good fic.

3631207 Well, gosh, thanks :twilightblush:

Hope you like it! :pinkiehappy:

Did some pony say Cupcakes? :pinkiecrazy:

XD just had to. Great chapter

3781951 Yep, that's why I just had to name it that, to try and present a chapter/story that wasn't that bad :pinkiesick: :pinkiehappy:

Glad you like it :twilightsmile:

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