• Member Since 18th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 17th, 2018

mineturtal247


T

Fluttershy is well known for being the element of kindness and a great friend. but there's something else to her a dark family secret of her true nature. being one of the last members of a ancient assassin's guild only know as the Dark brotherhood.
Will she be able to handle the insane amount of contracts that keep coming in or will she look to recruiting new member's from her friends?

Chapters (22)
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Comments ( 273 )

2851041 Google translate should tell you I meant 'what?'

2851109

I know. That's why I said What.

2851114 I'm sorry, I misinterpreted your post.

This concept is really more comedic in how implausible it is, rather than a serious story.

Work on spelling
Been not bin.
Capitals are your friend.
Other than numerous grammatical mistakes you get a watch from me.

Well, the grammar and spelling was kind of bad, but I've seen worse. Really though, I like the concept, and that's what really defines a story for me.

2852400
thank you vary much i hope you enjoy. sorry about the spelling writing is not my strong suit.:pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

2852025
thank you and i will work on it.:pinkiehappy:

2852435 I understand, and as a friend once said, we can't be good at everything. I'm good with reading and writing for example, but math and science will always elude me. That's why I judge a story by it's concept and the ideas behind it instead of how well it's written, for as my friend also said, having strengths and weaknesses is what makes us all human. I'm looking forward to where you take this, and remember that even if it doesn't turn out perfect, it's always the thought that counts:raritywink:

2852535
Thank you i heard that saying some where before but i don't remember where it came from and who side it. thank you for the inspiration my friend i'm not good at writing history is my best course but your support will help me learn more and maybe get better at it thank you.:pinkiehappy:

This concept and storyline execution I very much enjoyed. I would fav this except for the glaring spelling and grammar issues. Getting an editor or proofreader would help out alot as I kept getting kicked out of the story by those issues. That being said I hope you continue this.

2868563
thank you i will look for someone to look over the story to help me make it better.:pinkiehappy::twilightsheepish:

Omg This is so dark I like it :raritywink:

2894138
thank you i am glad you like it.:pinkiehappy:

If this was me I would kill all three, then again I do it all the time in skyrim just for fun. Good job writing just a few spelling errors here and there

Still LOVE THIS MORE PLS PLS PLS :raritycry:

oh only way out of hear!"

Here

2939763
thank you ill be sure to fix the errors:twilightsheepish:

2942002
dont worry i will and thank you for liking it so much:pinkiehappy:

ok i believe i fix the errors :pinkiehappy:
some of them i cant believe i did not notice before when i was editing:applecry: :facehoof:
if you see any that i miss please let me know,and thank you for reading.:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::yay::twilightsmile:

If you'd like, I can proof-read this story for you and correct any errors in the story that you made. What do you say?

2951784
sure that be great:pinkiehappy:
but how does one proof-read do i send the chapter to you or something?

You misspelled worm milk it's " warm" milk with an a not an o.

You need to capitalize i's and proper nouns like Spike and Fluttershy's names.

2953645 I think that maybe I'll be able to edit any errors you make in the story, and I'll make the grammar correct so that people are not driven crazy by the grammar errors, and this is not just for those GRAMMAR NAZIS out there.

I am going to make a Dark Brotherhood fanfiction called "The Dark Brotherhood Reborn." Or it may be called "The Dark Brotherhood's Multiverse Establishment." I will have it either making the members of the Dark Brotherhood in Skyrim (including the spirit of Lucien Lachance) be brought into another universe to rebuild, or I will have it be the Dark Brotherhood of Skyrim cloning themselves with a magical ritual and have their clones be sent to another universe to bring the Dark Brotherhood across the fabric of reality. It depends on whether or not I choose to go with canon of the Dragonborn destroying the Dark Brotherhood, or if you decide to do the Dark Brotherhood questline in Skyrim. I may need some help on deciding. BTW, this story will be on DeviantART as well as this website.

2979356
Thank you i would like that.

2979375
that sound great i like the idea magical ritual of them getting sent to a different world to establish there influence in equestria or something like that?:pinkiehappy::trixieshiftright:
i'm looking foreword to this story of yours.

2980068 Thanks for your opinion. I'll do it with the magical ritual then. Thank you once again! :raritystarry:

2984356 First chapter of my Dark Brotherhood Story is done. Here's the link to it: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122078/the-dark-brotherhoods-multiverse-establishment

btw, feel free to help me out with it if you'd like.

2984473
ok thanks for leting me know your story is up:pinkiehappy:

Ok where do I start? So I'm not trying to be mean but this has a lot of errors in it. It would help to know if English is your first language, but really a lot of trouble could be saved if you just ran this through spell-check before posting it. On that note if your typing this on a tablet or phone make sure you have auto-correct on so you can fix silly mistakes. Furthermore honestly I'm in no place to judge when it comes to spelling cause I suck at it but what especially bothered me is that you kept writing side instead of said. Bonus points for continuity though... I guess... Also it really bothers me when someone forgets to capitalize proper nouns. It's not twilight sparkle it's Twilight Sparkle. These things along with horribly misplaced punctuation as well as unnessecary words really throw me off. Now don't get me wrong I am enjoying the story it's just that the mistakes are jarring and take away from the experience. Please just do me this favor and use the spell-check. And if you say that English isn't your first language fine but for the record I know for a fact that you can change the language settings of spell-check in Microsoft Word. Also it's Rainbow Dash not rainbow-dash the hyphen (I think that's what they're called?) is used needlessly many many times.

Otherwise all I can say is keep doing what your doing because I do like the story idea and fully intend to continue reading, just please for the love of Celestia use spell-check because I really do hate having to write comments like these. I would offer to pre-read these for you but I have no experience in doing so, have much more pressing matters to take care of, and I'm sure you could find someone much better than me to do it for you (and probably already have). All-in-all good luck and keep trying, I'll keep reading.

3004864

Ok thank you for the information and sorry that my spelling is bad i'm a horrible speller even with spell check helping me.

I was up since 10am to 3am when i publish this i was dead tired when was editing it so that might say something about missing a lot of errors.:twilightblush::facehoof:

sorry to say but English is my only language that i know other then a bit of German so ya im just not a good speller that is all.

i'm glade that you told me about my mistakes and i promise i will try to fix this ASAP.:twilightblush: :facehoof:

Favorited and thumbs up'ed just for the premise of the story. I'll read it later it's one in the morning.

3032137
ok but just to worn you i have bad spelling and there is many errors that i fix but the fist few chapters my not be that good.

i hope you like it and thank you for favoring and thumbs up:twilightsmile:

I don't understand how it's possible to suck this hard at spelling. Do you have dyslexia?

3064122
sorry spelling is really not my strong suit i suck at writing.

but i like it even if i am the most horrible spellers sorry if it bugs you.:ajsleepy::fluttershyouch::twilightblush:

Major should probably be mayor?

Many charecters had spoken, and thats usually indicated as " ' blah blah blah' said Twilight", you have 'side' in many of those places.

You've been getting better at capitalizing names though you still miss a few every so often. That said you still confuse side with said, as well as the fact that Mayor should not have a j in it. And when a character speaks you always have to use quotations "like this." Otherwise you've been doing a lot better :pinkiesmile: keep up the inprovement! Also I still enjoy the story and can't wait to hear Fluttershy's backstory! :yay:

3066511
Thank you its good to hear that i'm getting better at this.

Good story but you might want to get an editor (kinda reminds me of me when i first started)

Contract #1
Name: Dr.whooves
Location: ponyville
Favorit place: none
Race:pony

sorry doctor but its the end of the timelords

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