A nice sunset fell over Fluttershy cottage. Fluttershy left her front door open to let in the cool breeze of the soon to be night in Equestria.
Fluttershy was in her home sitting on her couch reading a book on how to fix a broken eagles wings when she felt something tapping against her back hooves.
She moved her head away from the book to see who was trying to get her attention.
There was a little black rabbit that was as dark as night staring back at her with a piece of rolled up paper in its mouth. Fluttershy reach out with her right front hoof and grabbed the rolled up paper from the little rabbit. Fluttershy said her thanks and gave it a small pat on the head".
With the paper gone, the little rabbit bounce of the couch ran out the front door out into the wilds from where it came.
Fluttershy got up from her comfy couch she walk up to a flight of stairs that lead her to her bed room. She then proceeded to walk over to her bookshelf. She placed a hoof on one of the books and pulled the book out. The book shelf slid outward, then slid to the left witch reveled a secret passage to a hidden room.
Fluttershy walk into the secret room, lighting a torch with a box of matches that were place on a small table on the right side of the hidden passage. She continued to walk until she reach a wooden door that look like it was starting to rot away from the years it had been there. Fluttershy opened the door with a loud "creak" coming from it. When she opened the door, she started to walk into a to a large, open room. "Sanctuary" she thought to herself.
The sanctuary was very large. At least a small group of ponies will be able to walk around freely without bumping into each other. There were a few tables in the far corner of the room, a red carpet laid across the middle, and torches on the support pillars lighting the sanctuary up.
From what she could see, there were three large doors one on the left next to a bookshelf, one on the right side that had a sign hanging above it that side "armory", and then the one door that where the red carpet ended at. The door showed age that it had not been disturbed for years. A sign hung from the door that read "barracks". "It's been a long time since any pony been in that room" thought Fluttershy as she turn right to enter the armory room.
Fluttershy opened the door to the armory. The armory was a small room no bigger than her bedroom in her house. The armory had four crossbows on racks on the left side of the wall. Under the racks were arrows for the crossbows.
On the right side there were six manikin's in full armor. The armor was black with red on each sleeve. The hood was black with a red mask that covers the pony face from being recognize by any pony.
Fluttershy took the letter she been holding and opened it and started reading. It was hard to make out due to the fact that the writing was done by a rabbit's paws not the best, but it was still readable.
The black sacrament has been preformed. Go to sweet apple acres, talk to granny smith.
Fluttershy sighed. "This was not going to be easy," she thought to herself.
"Granny Smith would remember my voice," Fluttershy said out loud to her self. She then began to think on how she was going to hide her voice from Granny Smith. She sighed, thinking of nothing. She was just going to have to do the boring nod and shake your head in response to the old mare.
She took one last look at the letter before placing it on a table.
She then walked to a manikin and took the armor from it, and put it on.
She grab a crossbow and quiver of arrows from the rack. Next she went to a display case that was next to the manikin that she took the armor from. She opened up the case she grab to daggers.
The daggers were curved with a sharpen point at the end, the handle was short; no longer then the palm of her hoof. She then place them in holsters that the suit of armor had on them and walked out of the armory door.
She turn to a wall that looked a little out of place. It was nicer looking than all of the other walls in the sanctuary. She placed a hoof in the middle of the wall pushing it inward to reveal a ladder going up. She then climbed the ladder up. When she reach the top, she place her left hoof on a symbol of horse shoe with a circle around it.
She pushed the object to her left, moving it. She poke her head out from where she was at. She stared to climb out and looked around to see if anypony notice her. When she was sure that nopony seen her, she climbed out of the hole she was in. It was dark out, but the stars and moon were out as well, letting her know that many of her animals were asleep, as would be the town she will heading to in order to meet her contractor. She then move the fake rock that was use to hide the hidden passage back into place. She could see her cottage. It was not that far away but that was the idea in case. If she had to make a quick getaway, or needed to get home faster, she would just use the hidden passage's between her cottage and the small lake that was nearby along many well hidden area in the Everfree Forest.
She started walking on the trail to sweet apple acres she knows that she would have to go by Ponyville to get there, but by now every pony was asleep in the peaceful town.
"The contract of Sweet Apple acres is about to begin," Fluttershy thought to herself as she continued to walk down the path to Ponyville, soon to arrive at Sweet Apple Acres.
Что?
2851026
What?
2851041 Google translate should tell you I meant 'what?'
2851109
I know. That's why I said What.
2851114 I'm sorry, I misinterpreted your post.
2851119
That's ok.
2851026 Nani?
This concept is really more comedic in how implausible it is, rather than a serious story.
Work on spelling
Been not bin.
Capitals are your friend.
Other than numerous grammatical mistakes you get a watch from me.
Well, the grammar and spelling was kind of bad, but I've seen worse. Really though, I like the concept, and that's what really defines a story for me.
2851477
thanks i will fix that
2852400
thank you vary much i hope you enjoy. sorry about the spelling writing is not my strong suit.
2852025
thank you and i will work on it.
2852435 I understand, and as a friend once said, we can't be good at everything. I'm good with reading and writing for example, but math and science will always elude me. That's why I judge a story by it's concept and the ideas behind it instead of how well it's written, for as my friend also said, having strengths and weaknesses is what makes us all human. I'm looking forward to where you take this, and remember that even if it doesn't turn out perfect, it's always the thought that counts
2852535
Thank you i heard that saying some where before but i don't remember where it came from and who side it. thank you for the inspiration my friend i'm not good at writing history is my best course but your support will help me learn more and maybe get better at it thank you.
The grammar.... Is bad. I'm sorry I just have to say it.
You spelled multiple words wrong, placed punctuation in the wrong location, had too many run-on sentences and incorrect words were placed everywhere. Also it seemed like you really hate periods (some kind of trauma in the past maybe?).
Overall, you need a proofreader. This story is quite interesting considering the plot, and I'd like to see how it goes. But, if every chapter is as bad in grammar as this, I think I might be stopping and waiting for the grammar to be corrected before finishing.
2851477
That's all you saw wrong??