The Steadfast Sky

by Greytercakes

LIV : A Canterlot Study Session

The Steadfast Sky : A Canterlot Study Session
The Grey Potter
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/11495/The-Steadfast-Sky
http://cosmicponyfiction.tumblr.com

~Discord~

Bored, tired too. Worked myself up into a rage multiple times, just thinking about how dumb this is. Thinking about Luna too, wondering what she’s doing. How she’d react to finding out I’m trapped. Thought about her actions realistically. Thought about her actions completely unrealistically longer. Scolded self for getting caught up in my fantasies, then returned to gnawing on the silver metal mesh numbing my hands.

Bored.

Tired.

Tired and bored enough to consider the impossible. See, at first, I felt like these were the options:

Option one: Continue staying bored and tired until Illuminators give this up. Could take a while. On the other hand, could really show them how stupid this idea was…

Option two: Wreck shit, and get stuck here forever. I don’t think so.

Option three: Apologize profusely for everything. (Tried that once when an illuminator brought me food. Was ignored, and felt even more humiliated than before.)

Option four: Just suck it up and read one of these stupid books. I still find it hard to read sometimes, even when I really want to. And I really don’t want to. Not even enough to pretend like I’m learning. But uhg, if it gets me out of this stupid room faster…

I flopped on my side, rolling over and making a big show of it to absolutely nobody. Rolled over again, numb wings smacking into the bottom bookshelf. A few loose books tumbled off, one bouncing by my head, the other landing on my gut.

“O-okay,” I wheezed, “I know which book I’m not going to read.” I scraped my way over to the other book, grunting as I flipped on my stomach. What is this one anyway? Magic and Generosity? Yeah, whatever. I slammed my numb fists over the cover, dragging it under my forearms.

It was a while before I could worm my way into a position suited to my reading habits and excessive boredom. Eventually I wriggled onto my side, propping the book open with books and the table leg… Usually I’d have little illusions holding the book open, turning the pages for me. But nope. Magic bad. I ripped through pages with my snout, keeping each page open by shoving the sections behind more propping books. Might damage the paper this way but… screw it.

I realized almost upon opening of my first volume that the contents were exceedingly boring. “Letters,” huh? More like memos tossed between bureaucratic departments. If the books weren’t wrapped and sanctified by religious bullshit, I’d say these were exchanges between the six most boring paper pushers ever.

I mean…

“Generosity
Outbreak of cutie pox in S. Westbuck. Three victims known. Send healers, amount to personal discretion.
Magic”

“Magic
Expect more victims, sent four healers, including researcher North Wind. Pulling him early from research on Dragon Wart, but hope to find cure for the pox. I’m asking Loyalty for enforcers for quarantine. Probably need fifteen, unless too occupied? Will report.
Generosity”

“Magic
Guarding border from windegos. Sent five for quarantine of cutie pox.
Loyalty”

“Loyalty
Report amount of windego sightings.
Magic”

“Magic
Snow is especially heavy this year.
Loyalty”

“Loyalty
Report amount of windego sightings immediately
Send ten more Pegasi to Generosity or I will cut this campaign’s funding.

Magic”

“Magic
Full amount requested sent on way. I expect them to return within fortnight. There’s no need to be so rash.
Loyalty”

A sick thought hit me not a half-hour into this reading session. A lesson I don’t know if the Illuminators intended me to learn.
Someday, this will be me. Me. Sitting behind a desk. Shifting through reams of treasury reports and trying to write a yearly letter to the foreign ambassadors about the exact exchange rate of our currencies. I will write brief, curt notes to Celestia and Luna, asking about tax figures and weather reports. I will lightly threaten them with more paperwork, and they will tell me I’m being too hot-headed.

I just sit there a moment. Let the thought sink in.

Hahaha, No!

I dove for the shelves, tossing my feet and tail around, knocking volumes to the ground. I flipped all of them open, tearing my way through the pages, demanding the First Gods to have more interesting lives than they actually had. You were all powerful super beings granted the power to personally save the country with each rise of your mighty wings! Please! There must be SOMETHING you did with your awe-inspiring powers! Something interesting, something impressive, something grand and creative! I know when I’m a God, I’ll do something more than push papers around and make sure the seasons turn on time!

I ripped through all the facts I knew about the first gods, which is pretty much nothing. A picture came to me of a hysterical Celestia, and oh yes, that’s nice, remembering when Celestia yelled at me. Uhg. But she said something about those First Gods. Something bad… Yeah, didn’t Celestia say once that Loyalty fell first last time? Fell to what? Nightmare? Whatever, something interesting happened at the end of Loyalty’s life, that’s good enough!

I clumsily dragged over the last volume with Loyalty’s name on it and skipped nearly to the end. What are your last words, General Hurricane?

“Ed. note: addressed to The God of Magic
Of course you wouldn’t understand. I am born to battle, commanding is my birthright. Do you know the shame of it, sitting here, protecting a border against an attack that never comes? Yet, to think, you dare accuse this of being pointless, simply for that reason. I do believe my grandfather is rolling in his grave! Taking away our defenses, allowing any force to simply wander in! We are still not certain the windegos will not follow. And I refuse to budge until either every windego is dead, or another threat comes to my attention.
COMMANDER Hurricane, GENERAL of Equestria’s Army, and above all, GOD and ELEMENT of Loyalty”

“Loyalty
I will not let you start a foreign war over issues with your lineage. I am not recruiting another generation of our subjects to stand guard on a border that’s been quiet for almost sixty years. I am disbanding the Equestrian Royal Army. Our only need is for an internal defense force. I dearly hope that your pride allows you enough room to handle a smaller force.
Magic

Ed. notes:

This represents the last known correspondence of the Element of Loyalty.”

Really? That was it? I turned the page over, and wondered why there’s more in the book…

“Events:

It is unknown what exactly happened to General Hurricane, but conclusions can be drawn from Magic’s extensive notes on the matter. The God’s Element turned to stone, and yet, the alicorn Hurricane retained his Element-independent powers. He used his magic of command, putting his entire army into a mesmerized trance, and marched them south into Equestria. He attacked the northern countryside for three days before Magic arrived on the scene, two days more before the rest of the gods arrived to help. Their battles are scattered and chaotic, scars still scored into the landscape itself. Even with the combined efforts of the five remaining gods, Hurricane would not, or could not die. It was still a fortnight before it was decided General Hurricane should become imprisoned in stone, set to sleep within his casing forevermore. Those under his control, once released, suffered no ill effects, nor showed any signs of reversion to darkness. The northern areas are currently being rebuilt with full attention by Generosity and Kindness. The Element itself was recovered with little difficulty, since reverted into it’s original, gemlike form.

It is not known exactly what made the General transform so suddenly and so violently. The following is a summary of many speculative theories. (list of recommended reading pending)

It is a fact that the Element of Loyalty itself turned to stone, and it was then that General Hurricane underwent a full transformation. However, many report his appearance changing before his Element broke. Before the sundering of his Element, Loyalty became moody, irrational, and obsessive about finding an enemy to fight. His mane and tail, always in the form of faded blue-gray clouds, had become blacker and more stormy in his moods. His jade coat darkened to a murky, swamp green, his own cutie mark seemed neon on his skin. At this point, he became uncontrollable, seeking combat.

It was at first assumed, erroneously, that a dark force unknown took ahold of his spirit, one with negative power enough to override the good in Loyalty’s heart, severing his ties. However, if such a spirit existed, it had rooted itself deep into Loyalty’s soul, and even the Five were not able to exorcise it.

Another theory exists that the Element itself released with it a wellspring of dark energies, holding that for all the good they collect and channel, it cannot help but collect and channel equal amounts of evil and chaos. Our god of Magic thinks this theory is the most erroneous of all, saying, I quote:

“If the division between purity and sin was as simple as separating oil from the water, then we would easily be able extract menace from mind, and create a paradise free from all darkness.”

Instead, our Most Wise Alicorn has proposed his own theory, rooted deep in facts and science as his domain entails. Our God of Magic asks us to consider Loyalty’s physical makeup as a being of magic. Naturally, magic is swayed by the mind and mood. And once the internal “spell” had been cast towards hate and rage, it would be difficult, if not impossible to stop its nearly infinite self-powered momentum. Glorious Magic still yet hopes to pry Loyalty from his own fears, but until that day, Hurricane will be set to rest in a personal shrine.

Praise the Alicorns, may their wisdom grow ever more infinite, and may the Elements one day be reunited in peace.

~Head Illuminator Gemstone Inlay”

Scrawled at the bottom, in the space under the text, seemed to be a note written in pencil.

“Process now known to be corruption of petrichor. The fallen god, a Nightmare. Volume of discourse still pending. ~ Ill. IvIn. Witness to Nightmare Honesty”

I turned this slowly in my head a little bit. Just trying to let it sink in…

And a blandly ask myself, ‘how’s that going to help me out of here?’

Okay, I know that they think I’m going to go crazy like Loyalty. I’m going to corrupt, become a Nightmare and uh… immortally rage at them, I guess? I didn’t really have any rage until I was thrown in here, and even that phase has passed me by. I just want to go sleep in a real bed. Maybe have some cake, and definitely cast a couple interesting spells. And also maybe—

Okay, if I keep going, I’ll just start listing all the things I can’t have. C’mon Discord. What have we learned?

Eh.

Pretend to be polite the next time the Illuminators come in?

Oh boy. That’ll work.

“BLAAH! I HATE YOU.” I shouted at the doorframe. No reason. Just needed to shout at something.

So… I guess what’s next? Where was there likely something both interesting, and also something they expected me to learn?

Well.

I was Kindness.

And my greatest enemy right now was The First, More Assholish Kindness...

“Alright, Shadow Stallion.” I wriggled up the shelves, balancing on my elbows as the wood groaned under me. “Time to learn all your dark secrets and deepest desires via mundane bullcrap. Let’s see here. Shall I look at your letters with Magic? Or Maybe Generosity? Possibilities, do they ever end?” I laughed hollowly. “Looks like you talked a lot with Generosity… Ooh, but there’s only one book with Honesty! What, did you not like him? Or did you just not work together very much? That’s boring, so it’s probably far more likely…”

I pulled down five volumes, numbly flipped one open, and felt my eyes instantly glaze.

“Yep. All memos. I should have known.”

Time to go back to my super reading technique, and try to read everything at once. With each swipe of my tail, pages folded, spines cracked, librarians everywhere wept silently. One book made a desperate bid for freedom, spinning away under the table to never be seen or heard from again.

I skimmed a few pages of the first Generosity/Kindness books, and almost instantly, I wanted to laugh. It was a lot of short letters and memos, yes. But a ton of them were about a much more funny and pathetic topic: Kindness constantly begging Generosity to help him with magic.

“Generosity
I’m sorry I still don’t quite get this. I don’t know how you can pick this up so easily. You were once an Earth Pony like me, weren’t you? Magic says you’re doing really well. Maybe you were a unicorn in a past life, and you inherited the muscle memory.
Kindness”

“Kindness
Past lives aside, I work often with unicorns. Medical magic was part of my studies, even if I couldn’t cast a thing. I knew the theory, so for me, it’s a matter of application.
You just need to learn the theory, is all. Have you read the books I recommended? Revisiting them has been a great help to me, certainly they should be able to help you in the same way.
Generosity”

“Generosity
I tried to.
I’m sorry. I really tried to. I’m sorry, I’m not good enough at these dry books.
Kindness”

“Kindness
There’s no need to apologize, you’re doing well for someone still trying to get a hang of this. You’re much too hard on yourself sometimes, Kindness.
Generosity”

“Generosity
I’m sorry. I’ll try and do better.
Kindness”

Great. Just great! I laughed, but... Is this what the Illuminators expect of me? To be the god of pathetic, simpering apologies? Or do they hope I’ll do better, and not become the God of Overcast Skies…

Uhg. I flipped through more of the memos, but the more I read, the stranger it felt. For one… it got a little personal. He started talking about his old life as a dog breeder, wondering why an idiot like him was chosen, relating tiny things about his day and duties… It became a private journal, related through little letters.

And this was the pony who would one day become a ruler to torture and oppress a nation...

I began flipping through the pages in massive chunks, pretending like I could stop and read if anything grabbed me. Of course nothing did, and I abandoned the Generosity books altogether. Instead, I skip to the middle, the end of the small, half-filled volume of Honesty’s. Through all the blank pages, almost instantly, something catches my eye. A handwritten letter, or a draft of an essay. It’s sloppier and messier than the rest of the plain memos, broken into pieces, sometimes written at a trailing slant.

I glance at the first line.

“The fact that I can still remember my name is such a relief.”

I nodded. Course Kindness forgot his name, his entire role as god sucked his whole identity away.

“Glorious, wonderful, beautiful God of Magic, Praise the Alicorns, may their wisdom grow ever more infinite”

So this wasn’t Kindness. Just some Illuminator writing in his book. I turned back to the proper page, and continued to read.

“Has asked me to record my account of what happened in the library.” In pencil, he’s written, “I have spoiled the page in fear. But God of Magic insists I write without draft. Certainly, if any pony of the Alicorns understands the importance of certain ways one begins to construct he”

And, back in pen, “Please. I dearly hope this won’t turn out looking ugly or completely unreadable. Forgive me. I am recording a journal, not a historic account. Take it into consideration in constructing the official record, do not sully the page with my rambling.

Loyalty had just barely

It was not long after Loyalty had fallen.

Nobody knew what had happened. Theories were ar abound, rumors bouncing back and forth. I think, for the most part, people assumed it was some dark spirit from the north. Wonderful Alicorn of Magic had his own theories, but most weren’t privy or

That was what happened to Loyalty, we thought. It was some shadow of the past country taking hold, corrupting him from within. It’s rather terrifying, a being as powerful as a God. Falling like that, so suddenly. So

[i]Honesty came not long after

And went, as well

Events: March the 12th, Year 53 of the Country Equestria

Honesty arrived in our library, grandly. I had never seen him before, not up close. In Canterlot, I dealt most with Magic, then with Kindness. Occasionally with Laughter, and rarely, with Generosity.

Each of them, so grand. I had known a few to pass by the library. I was very impressed with Honesty’s tall stature, his mane in particular. Magic’s stars, they’re something so abstract. Kindness’ grassy mane made him appear almost like a living section of the ground, come to life. Yet, Honesty’s rustling mane seemed to be constructed from folded and braided paper. They hung thickly around his shoulders, on both sides, two heavy sheets.

That, I thought, is a god. That is my god, reigning over the aspect of truth, of intelligence, of the mind and discovery. Of the matter of books, and their purpose.

That day, he asked the ten of us to help him study, and not a single thought crossed us to deny a god, Our God… What reason was there to hesitate? At first, it was such an honor. Later

Lack of choice really It’s when

Forgive me

He wanted books on all topics, trying to find an answer to what happened to Loyalty. Magic’s answer was not enough. A theory was not enough. He wanted to know everything we knew about the Elements, which, I will admit, is very little. The Gods were the First we had of this ilk, and though other countries had their gods, selection was so different… and the Elements themselves, truly, a mystery… Yet, he was sure, there was a book on the subject, treated this matter as if every answer was written down somewhere. This quite simply wasn’t the case! There’s so much that still hasn’t made its way into books, hard as we try. Loyalty, the Elements, the science of magic, these were all things so new! What book would there be, explaining everything?

He couldn’t accept that.

Such a silly thing, unable to get an answer to a question. Having incomplete, untested hypotheses.

Was that really all? I I ask that now, the first death still so so very crisp

“Is this what I have to do?!” Honesty screamed, “Scared, you little scholars?! Do you think I’m kidding around?! Bring me notes, scratches on stone if you have to! I NEED MORE INFORMATION!”

I don’t even think

He really knew he had just killed Velvet

In my

Was that really all, Honesty

Were you just so afraid

I couldn’t give him books that didn’t exist! And yet, that didn’t please him. He became so so irrational He His coat was already such a deep, ruddy red-orange. And it started to take on this sick color. Like curdled blood, cutie mark turning the sick green of spoiled milk.

He was

He was actually delighted when he began to corrupt. When he decided this was something the body does, all on its own. I can still recall his exact volume, the sound of his voice when he realized what was happening. He said:

“Wonderful! Now I can study the effects firsthand!”

He had what he wanted

Hunched over a parchment, I witnessed, the only witness to that

He was scribbling on a parchment, ripping the paper, breaking quills. No ink, just gouging the wood of the table. I watched as his coat became darker and darker. As his mane blackened, began to smolder, smell like

The books around him smoked, embers eating their way through

I ran.

Service to a god. I wanted no longer to serve that god.

Laughter was there, wondering what “the old bookworm” was up to. I couldn’t tell him. He laughed, calling Honesty’s birth name as he entered the stacks. “Bookends, Bookends, what have you gotten worked up about this time? Bookends, Bookends, you managed to scare a poor little librarian. Are you proud?”

And when he returned, Laughter was silent, eyes hollow and distant, unable to really process what he saw, for it

It was a nightmare. A living, breathing, terrifying nightmare. I knew then, I would die. Standing there, thinking, I would die. To just think that, with acceptance. I just know, I’ll turn around, and there he’ll be. Standing there, books smoldering around him, finally deciding that he would kill me. Even as I saw Magic take him away, solid as a stone, I know, I know he’ll come back and kill me.”

I was leaning in too close, elbows aching from propping me up to long, chin feeling the radiating cold. I read that paragraph again, and then a third time. Each time, just living it.

I said, just to myself… That’s a feeling I know well. Not just from when I lived in the castle. Not just when I was avoiding the wrath of the adult Draconequus. But when I encountered the Shadow Stallion, when he was bearing down on us. Stepping through our light and attacking without pause. I ran. Yet never, not for a second, did I think I would escape. Not even when we were out of the city did I truly think we’d survive…

There wasn’t much more to the story. I glanced at the last two lines, wondering, if there was more to this…

“I can’t stand to work in this library anymore. This place will be the death of me.

Ed: Account of Apprentice Ivory Inkwell, sole surviving witness to the Fall of the Element of Honesty”

There was a loud click behind me. My guts turned over, and I whipped around. A bored illuminator had just shoved food in the door, only stopping because he noticed me move. He eyed me for a moment, then went to close the door…

“No!” I shouted. I threw myself sideways. He panicked, and the door slammed shut. “No, I—!”

Stupid! This is the lesson! This will help me out, won’t it?! I’m not waiting another several hours…!

I wriggled over to the door and banged into it, the lock clicking loudly over my head. “Can you tell Ivory Inkwell that I’m sorry for what happened to him?!” It’s quiet in the moment after my statement. I could only hear myself breathing. Was he listening? Did he leave? I shoved my nose in the lock, and began to shout, “Inkwell witnessed Harmony fall, right? Tell him I understand what it feels like, being confronted with that fear! I understand why he’d be afraid of me!” I pressed my ear against the door, yet I still couldn’t hear a thing.

“Okay?” I shouted, “Can you tell him?”

My heart beat a little faster. I heard the faint clip-clopping of hooves on stone. Was that the Illuminator? Did he stay and listen to what I had to say? I dropped down from the door, settling against it. Well, whether he heard me or not, I had no way of knowing if that was the proper lesson.

So… should I keep reading?

I groaned loudly and dragged over my lunch plate. After I eat, another study session awaits me! Joooy.

I picked up a roll with my tail, bringing it to my mouth. Welp, there’s an unintended lesson for the Illuminators. Forcing me to not use my hands is making me pretty dexterous with my tail. Not like I could stand to keep scarfing my plate like some dog…

There was a loud click over my head.

I couldn’t move until I felt the door pushing on my back. I threw myself across the room, trying to finish off the roll as fast as I possibly could. Because there he stands. Head Illuminator Ivory Inkwell, towering over me with eyes cold as ice.

Is this it? Did I do well, have I proved myself?! Am I free?!

“Prince,” he said. His eyes darted down to the scattered books, “It is good to hear you are studying.”

“Uh, yea’! Jus’ uh... tryin’ t’ learn, unnerstan’” I swallowed the rest of the roll and took a deep breath, “And I just wanted to say… I’ve felt what you felt. When I’ve encountered the Shadow Stallion.” He goes a little ridged, angrier. I realized with a jolt that we never told him about our little ‘detour’ to Canterbury. “I lived in Canterbury Castle, you know, saw him occasionally. Each time, he’d kill, or worse…” He didn’t relax. I might even be digging a deeper hole! No! Calm down, take a deep breath. “And I just wanted to tell you that. I know what it’s like, to be confronted with death, with fear and misery. But more than that!” Suddenly, it comes to me. “I’ve faced some of my worst fears, and proven stronger than them. I mean, you probably heard what happened at the Shrine of Loyalty, haven’t you? Even now, that was the lowest point in my life. If I didn’t turn there, then, what happened to Honesty? That is not going to happen to me.”

“It will happen,” he said immediately, “It is an inevitable outcome for all who take up the Elements.”

“Do you know that?” I reply just as quickly, “Or is it just your fear that’s telling you that?”

To that, he was silent. He looked down at me, judging me with those cold, cold eyes. I stared back, silent, showing him I was fine, that I can leave now...

“It is inevitable for gods to fall,” he finally said. “But for good reason. Tell me. What have you read here about the substance known as ‘petrichor?’”

“I, um.” I glanced at the books, “I saw the word occasionally…”

He turned away, “Then I will return when you have learned—“

“No!” I shouted, “But I do know of the substance! I learned it,” Ruin’s face floated across my mind, “Elsewhere. From my old teacher. He taught me a… great number of physical, uh, matters…”

“Then go on. Tell me about these physical matters. What exactly do you know about petrichor?”

“Well… the Zebras called it ‘steepa,’ because they discovered it first. Um, it’s a difficult to collect silvery material, most often used in healing poultices…” I thought for a moment that displaying my knowledge of history might impress him, but he sniffed loudly, and I moved on. “It’s difficult to get for an important reason, though! The easiest place to find it is in the bodies of ponies… It’s this substance that allows for magic. Because of this element, Pegasi can fly and touch the clouds. Unicorn horns are constructed almost entirely of petrichor, and Earth Ponies are so hardy and strong because this petrichor is in every bone of their body. I know it’s, uh, being researched whether this substance in actively produced by the body, like bile, or merely collected and used, like a vitamin…”

Ivory Inkwell raised his hoof, silencing me. “So you understand the substance. Why, then, if it is in all of us, is it so hard to obtain?”

“I guess, because it rots. Turns all black, like most organic components...”

He nodded, “So it does. Yet, it does not rot when exposed to air or infection. It rots for entirely different reasons. Can you tell me what those are?”

“Since it’s a magical substance, it makes sense that nonmagical means couldn’t corrupt it.” I said quickly. For once, I actually feel like I’m doing good at a lesson, that I’m doing everything just right, like they want me to. “But petrichor reacts poorly to a pony’s mental state. When ponies are under constant stress, or unhappy with life, or under any negative emotion for a long time, that’s when petrichor begins to rot. And that corruption can build up in its body, making it harder to cast… Or fly, theoretically.

“But,” I quickly continued, “Petrichoric Rot usually isn’t noticeable, and it’s never fatal. It’s usually coupled, or called, a simple ‘mental block.’ And if their mood lightens, the damage is usually fixed pretty quick… The only thing that permanently and irreparably rots petrichor,” My voice goes quiet, wondering if I should even say it aloud… “Is the shock of death. Only those who die peacefully leave behind useable petrichor. And even then, it’s very little, if you can get to it…”

“Enough, Prince.” Ivory Inkwell boomed. I knew it. I said too much, was too caught up in finally having a chance to impress the Illuminators. The old stallion cleared his throat, stood a little straighter, preparing my verdict...

“Imagine then,” Inkwell said plainly. “A pony who has more than a horn. Has more than a set of wings. Has petrichor shards inside every single bone of their body. No, imagine that his bones are petrichor, supporting themselves merely by the creature’s force of will. Imagine a creature more of magic than of flesh and blood.

“And imagine that being under stress, submitting to pain. To fear. To hatred. Imagine that amount of rot building for decades and decades in their bodies, held and suffered through for even longer than most ponies live.

“Now, fatal to them? No, as you said, the rot doesn’t kill ponies, and nor did it kill the Alicorns. It corrupted them. Little by little, all of our gods became slowly overwhelmed by their own flawed minds, their own rotting bodies, until they were no longer themselves. They became purely, incurably evil. Insane, and unable to do more than submit to impulse. Tragically, still fueled by the energies that corrupted them in the first place…”

“Discord,” Inkwell said firmly. His eyes were frozen to mind, hard, demanding. “Do you think your own body can handle that level of stress?”

“I—“ I stammered, “I don’t…”

“Do you think you can still wear that element, knowing what is inevitably going to happen to you?”

I laughed nervously, “I, I guess it’s a bit scary…”

He softened, reaching out a hoof, “It’s not too late, my boy. It’s clear now… you haven’t been transformed, not by petrichor or its opposite. You can take off the Element now, and hope another pony, better suited to rule takes the mantle.”

I stare at the hoof, mind suddenly filled with a hollow buzzing sound.

“That’s all?” I asked, quiet. “You just want me to leave?”

“Well, we had to make certain you wouldn’t transform first. But as you said, this nightmarish transformation will not come to pass. But now, I ask that you decide whether this is the future for you, or not.” And then, miraculously, something I had never dared believe would happen. He brought out a key, and unlocked me from the bags of smooze. They were quickly taken from my sight, and I stared at my numb hands, mind still emptily buzzing.

“You have the freedom of choice, Discord,” Ivory Inkwell said, “Just lift the Element from your neck, and this will all be over.”

I raised a hand to my chest, almost checking if the Element was still there. It always felt so natural, just like another part of me. Always there…

“I, I don’t know,” I mumbled, “Is it really up to me? My friends… These Elements are based on our friendship…”

“It is entirely up to you, Discord,” Inkwell said, “But, I can give you a little time to think it over, if you need.”

“Yeah, I think…”

He nodded… or maybe he bowed. But whatever it was, it was over in a moment, and in only a moment more did he leave left, slipping from sight and shutting the door after him. There was no click of a lock this time. He just… left. Left me unshackled, no longer imprisoned, free to leave at any time. Oh hell, if I was given the chance last hour, I would’ve bolted for the door and left all of Canterlot behind.

But now I was stuck here. Not by locks and smooze, but by a big, gigantic, CHOICE. I’m ditching Canterlot either way, that’s for sure… But…

Am I leaving free as a bird? Or still bound to my fate, doomed to return anyway?

I grasped the silver stone of Kindness with both my hands, just staring at it. Thinking about those old memos. About the time I spent, playing dumb games in Canterbury. Thinking about Honesty and Loyalty’s fall. About a future in proudly defeating the Shadow Stallion. About a fate of becoming a new tyrant to replace him…

About Luna.

We’d still be friends, if I left this, right? Hell. I shivered. We could be more than friends…

But she’d want me to keep this, wouldn’t she? Wouldn’t let me give the Element up. Be stupid to her, to just throw this all away, out of fear…

But maybe… maybe we could both leave. Both just live our lives together, to their natural end! That was a wonderful thought! I felt my face blush furiously, my hands squeezed tightly around the Element. I could feel it beating in my hands, as if it was hoping I’d take it along, to see such a wonderful, uh, more-than-friendship. Okay, I can’t let myself touch her, but just being near, that’s enough, I think. Yes, that’s enough…

The door swung open and I tumbled backwards, scrambling for the other side of the table and probably beet freaking red.
“That was barely five minutes!” I cried, “I need more time to think, dammit! Get out! Out!”

“Well you’ve regained your energy rather quickly,” the intruder said, stepping into the library. “I expected your recovery from the smooze to take at least another fifteen minutes.”

I gaped at her.

“Book Binding?!”

My tutor bowed, “My Prince,” and then paused, “Sorry, it’s a habit.”

Book Binding walked past me, eyeing the books on the floor, on the shelves. And I stared at her, clinging to the table with a single question on my mind.

“What are you doing here?”

She continued to stalk around the room. “Checking up on you. Holding out for a miracle. I suppose that could be the same thing when it comes to gods… Unless,” she turned to me, “You have decided to give up.”

“I haven’t decided anything yet,” I said flatly.

“Good,” she said, “Then I ask you wait a little longer. Perhaps read one last book…” she frowned, and scanned the shelves again, “Though it seems like it’s not here. Have you read it already?”

“Maybe…?” I said, befuddled, “The one with Illuminator Ivory Inkwell and The First God of Honesty?”

“No, no, something much more hopeful than that. Something, at this time, that Inkwell thinks you have made irrelevant… But all the same, you should read it. If it is your desire to continue as our Kindness, it’s vitally important.”

Finished with looking through the books, she took to staring at me, gaze just as intense and forceful as Inkwell’s had been. But now, I had to look away.

“’If’,” I mumbled, “Million bit question, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps,” she shrugged. “But this should inform your decision a little better than the Head Illuminator’s frightful account.”

“What even is it?” I said, looking down at my piles of books. “Maybe I have read it, didn’t know it for what it was…”

“Final volume of correspondences between Kindness and Generosity. The last we have, specifically. Perhaps they communicated after the fact. Actually, it’s almost certain they did. But for how long, who knows? Everything becomes so eerily quiet after the departure of the Three… That is, until the clouds began to form around Canterbury…”

“I remember hearing,” I said suddenly, “That Magic hasn’t been seen since then. Generosity hasn’t been seen either?”

“Oh, we know where Generosity is. Perhaps laying him to rest was Kindness’ last sane action… or perhaps he did it while insane. Who can say? It’s only Magic that we lack information on.” She paused, hoof raised midstep. “It is theorized… Or rather, I have a pet theory. Magic, the Element itself, only appears when all the others are present. While the First God wore the stabilized Element around his neck, perhaps the corruption of all the Elements made Magic vanish again, its God along with it… Certainly, we’ve had no word of other countries under siege, nor anything even hinting to an Element’s existence…

“In any case,” she said firmly, trotting towards the door. She looked out the open portal, both ways, as if she was looking for an approaching pony... “If, among these scattered volumes, you find the last record of Kindness and Generosity, you’ll have learned something very important.”

“You can’t just tell me what’s in there?”

“I doubt I could summarize it properly, but the gist of it is thus: Friendship,” Book Binding said plainly, “Friendship will save us all.”

I laughed hollowly, “Well, these are the Elements of Harmony.”

“They most certainly are.”

And with that, she stepped out, leaving the door slightly ajar. I watched her through the crack as she vanished… and reappeared, heading the opposite direction. I wondered dully what she was up to, and if it really mattered… I mean, of course it mattered! But I already felt so strongly about just running away with Luna...

But maybe, no, I shouldn’t give this, all this, up so easily. I’m at least curious why Book Binding was so intent on me reading the account of Kindness. My Element, in his last days. Maybe there was something to save me there. Or maybe I could learn why Kindness was the last, when he was obviously so frail and simpering…

Well, there was one place Book Binding didn’t look. The one place left from my reading rampage. I ducked under the table to retrieve that one volume, the one I had sent spinning in my haste to learn. The one that I clearly should have read first.

I cracked it open to the very last correspondence, pretty sure the last one will be the most important.

“Paleheart
We are on our way.
Butterfly Bright”

Okay.

That’s what I get for skipping.

What’s the second to last letter?

“Butterfly Bright
Fine, you have me. It was actually rather funny to see the student’s reactions to that curative spell. Unicorns always imagine magic being so clean and clear-cut, they could never imagine a messy spell, or think that the messiness means they’ve done it right.
But my occasional joy gets drowned out so easily, Bright. It’s so strange, having to actively fight against my own feelings, knowing they’re misplaced, knowing what underlies them. My fears and doubts are on the edge of my mind, even immediately after cleansing. I can understand why now we first assumed it was a foreign force. Keeping a head above it, I can say, it feels like an intrusion, an infection in every bone.
I need to request something of you. More than that, we all need to discuss immediate plans. I know you still find difficulty talking to Four-Clover, but please, find some way to tear him away from his work. Tell him all the monsters in the world won’t bring him any closer to mastering life and death, and please be unkind about it. I know you’re worried that talking to him will make him transform in a flash, but trust me, hug him better, and drag him out from those cold black rocks. Next we all speak, I wish it to be in person, while the both of you remain sane.
Paleheart”

So the Elements… Wait, are those their actual ‘birth’ names? That seemed important but… which was which? Who was Paleheart, and who was Bright? And what caused this change?

Guess I have to read more…

I flipped back further, glancing over the correspondences. These didn’t seem so much about business, nor were they sobbing or simpering. ‘Paleheart’ seemed a little fragile, but found some level of joy in his work, in teaching. But ‘Butterfly Bright’ almost seemed to be overcompensating in the assurance, rambling about this and that. There’s one letter where they even laugh about Butterfly Bright overdoing it. Laughing. Joking. Treating each other as more than heads of departments. Actually talking about visiting and seeing each other whenever they can. Taking friendly shots at Four-Clover’s crazy ideas, putting their hearts at ease via this ‘cleansing’…

I go further back, and finally, I find something besides a letter. An observation by the Illuminators. Everything before this point, I notice, is the same brief memos, short notes, meaningless jabber…

This is it then, I think. This is the most important thing for me to consider.

“Events, June the sixth, Year 55 of the Country Equestria

I knew it. I knew it the moment I saw Generosity. He too was corrupting, falling just like Loyalty, Honesty, and Laughter. His mane of perfect curls was becoming tangled and tousled, more knotted and twisted than curly. His coat seemed faded, and he was almost perceptively wilting.

We were terrified. Generosity had always been the gentlest, the most well-loved and giving of our gods. But he had also been one to experiment, a researcher of medicines and curative magics. What horrible beast would he corrupt into? Loyalty made armies march on one another. Laughter forced subjects to perform in his plays for weeks on end… Would we now all become test subjects for horrible, magical diseases? Would he concoct a plague to kill us all?

So many Illuminators fled then, leaving us truly bare-boned and understaffed. I should have run. I cursed myself, unable to. It would be the end of me. I would die here. I suppose my body just accepted this, and let me work in the horrible, dull-minded peace of death.

Generosity was in our library then. Eyes rimmed in black and red. Mane and tail twisting and knotting tighter and tighter, coat turning blacker and blacker…

And in bursts Kindness. Tall, muscular, proud, his mane vibrant green, body as rich and as warm as the earth itself. I had never seen Kindness stand so tall, so sure of himself, so far from his typical aura of fear and inadequacy. Generosity barely noticed his arrival, only looking up when the powerful stallion stood beside him.

Kindness spoke then, just a few simple words.

“Paleheart. Please, don’t hurt anymore. I’ll stand by you forever, my friend.”

Something so simple, yet spoken with such radiance and confidence. Coupled with such a warm, brotherly embrace. The Elements, lifeless jewelry that only responded to direct channeling, glowed with such a brilliance unseen ever before. Truly, it was the light of pure hope, and Generosity’s doubts and fears could not stand before it. In front of our very eyes, Generosity transformed from a haggard old beast of burden to a fresh and young stallion, fears finally assuaged by Kindness’ outreached hoof.

Praise the Alicorns! I can shout this with pride now, Praise them, and may this experience let their wisdom grow evermore! It felt, in that room, like we had finally, after three failures, found the true Elements of Harmony.”

I stared at Kindness’ words. At the event, at the Illuminator’s notes. Felt as a memory so crisp and clear dominated my thoughts.

A hundred miles from here, in that frigid room. In the cold stone of Loyalty’s Shrine. In my worst moment. In a time when I felt so dead inside, so broken...

Luna, came to me then, just saying a few simple words.

“Do you hate me, Luna?” I breathed. “You should.”

“That’s stupid. You’re my best friend.” I whipped around. She’s there, in the open doorway, grinning a crazy smile. Our Elements, radiant in the dim little room. My body, reacting the same way it did on that day. The lightened flip, my instant want to hold her tight, embrace…

“And it still hurts to see you hurting.” Her smile gets bigger, brighter than the moon itself. “Let’s get out of this dumb city.”

Comments

[SonicBrony]

Wow, what a coincidence that I checked my email JUST as this chapter came out...
Great chapter, can't wait for the next one!

[Sixpack]

And the story is starting to roll on the tracks again after a short rest an refuel in Canterlot ;)

But even with the knowledge gained by Discord we all know that its use fails, at least in the beginning.

[ThatPoemGuy]

YESSSSS!!!! Paleheart wasn't corrupted! It's not inevitable!
Whooo!
Now, they just need to save Celestia.

This is Australia...

[Zweiterversuch]

Duuuuuuude!
What do you eat to be this awesome?
What do you read to be this creative?

Gosh! Jealousy is eating me from the inside out!

[Bubbabob]

Celestia just needs to stop being Bitchlestia.

[La Vallett1]

Hope they will pick up Celestia and make amends before leaving.

[Heart of Blades]

Touching and amazing! This chapter felt very important and I can't wait to see what lays ahead

[Greytercakes]

2269776
Um... I read a lot of YA books and wrote crappy comics for ten years. I could give you a booklist, but seriously, I'd go to the library every week, check out like five new books to read, and be done with half of them by the next week. It's all about practice, study, and having friends with taste enough to tell you when you're dumb. (There's your shoutout, Editors Steve and also Steve, don't say I never gave you ALL THE CREDIT )

[Kim Kimera Kimes]

so much awesomeness, I can only recall two other stories I read so vigorously as this one; Allegrezza and Sunset: For want of a dawn.

Greypotter, don't quit before this story is finished. I would cry if you would.

[Greytercakes]

2275340
Don't worry.
Nothing can stop me now.
i.imgur.com/lAQqAyg.gif

[DrOblivian]

this chapter has improved my opinion on the illuminators, (they are just paranoid as fuck!) although i still feel as though they are the main reason for Celestia's behavior problem (same goes for luna as well, but on a much smaller scale) by encouraging the "properness" of being a ruler and a noble. Although blame can also be placed on other nobles as well.

[Greytercakes]

2285503
Again
All hooves are feet, but not all feet are hooved

[vonzshik]

What about next update? Waiting is driving me crazy

[Ice Star]

“It will happen,” he said immediately, “It is an inevitable outcome for all who take up the Elements.”

But is it really? This seems to go against the eventual fates of the three (going with only season one and two canon). These ponies have alaos proven themselves to be incredibly paranoid, and are probably not reliable.