The Steadfast Sky

by Greytercakes

XLVI : A Canterlot Arrival

The Steadfast Sky : A Canterlot Arrival
The Grey Potter
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/11495/The-Steadfast-Sky
http://cosmicponyfiction.tumblr.com

In all of Equestria, there is no city that rivals the importance, history, nor the beauty of the stronghold Canterlot. Founded on the very mountain where The Equestrian Truce was drawn up and signed, Canterlot was officially conceived to be the country’s capital. Only for lack of imported masonry did this city lose its distinction, and thusly did the much more quickly constructed Canterbury became the center of the newly formed Equestrian government.

However, despite the physical loss of power, Canterlot never lost its spiritual power as a symbol of hope, as a symbol of the newly founded country’s prosperity. Construction continued, even as the provisional government struggled with the Exodus from the Frozen North. Canterlot was eventually completed years and years later under the keen and discerning eyes of Magic and Generosity. Only the alicorns, infinite in their wisdom, truly saw what beauty and light the city could hold. For all who has laid eyes upon Canterlot must agree, it is a beautiful city, worthy of holding and housing a country’s gods.

Words cannot do justice to its current appearance, and my pen is not laden by the ink of a poet. Instead, let me transcribe a recollection from Regnant Clover the Clever:

“Impeccable white towers, carefully crafted with dazzling purples and golds, formed into innumerable shapes, sizes, forms … The city was more a finely crafted sculpture than a place a pony would use. A select few towers imitated the night sky as I remembered it above the Frozen North. Others swirled into delicate floral shapes that, from a distance, seemed almost too fine and thin to truly exist. Some simply followed carefully measured patterns, swirling and shifting as the eye passed over them; Clearly solid, not really moving. …Golden balconies rimmed with stars and shapes drawn only from dreams. Reflective pools of pure, golden light, spilling and vanishing into the misty white below. Bridges and railings of a glimmering gold brass, far too fine and delicate to be more than ornamental. Shining figureheads atop prominent spires, hovering in place and held by some unseen magic. … Truly, the alicorns have outdone themselves. What finer purpose could there be for the magic of light and harmony?”

Much has been added since Clover’s time. The lighting in Canterlot now relies on multicolored crystals, as well as the addition of the residential housing curling down the mountain’s cliff. Though gone unmentioned in Clover’s texts, the township of Ponyville, just below Canterlot, remains an important part of our history. Poorly planned and constructed hastily from miscut wood and loose rocks, Ponyville was initially formed to dig for stone to aid the growth of Canterlot. However, the small town grew exponentially with the discovery of the rich crystal caverns deep underneath the mountain’s surface. A pony can make a substantial profit in the dark tunnels, but the work is both difficult and deadly. Despite, or in perhaps because of this, the town now houses a great number of refugees and runaways seeking the key to a better life in the cramped and dust-covered streets.

Yes, I do claim that this boom town is a key part of Canterlot’s meaning and purpose. For, a city founded on hope must take care maintain that reputation. In these dark times, under a Nightmare King, many wonder if there is hope left at all in the land. Some ponies leave the country for Zebra lands, or return to the Frozen North in hopes that the Old Country can be revived. These poor ponies are lost to us, misguided and driven by desperation. They follow a false hope for a better life elsewhere. But others know what hope means for all of us. Others know that Canterlot should be, and is, Equestria’s hope.

For you see, so many come to her doors to learn, to educate, to protect, and yes, to hide. For those within the country, and for others so distant on the horizon. Because even an Alicorn trapped in a nightmarish phase, must surely realize that Canterlot must be above his oppression. For a God who cannot and will not raise the sun and moon, it is imperative that Canterlot stands firm, high above the clouds. Even if it is the proper order of the world to bow to ones’ masters, one exception is, and always will be made for the glorious city of Canterlot. Canterlot remains strong, remains a beacon, proclaiming to Equestria’s citizens and to world that all is just and right in her country. That soon, new hope will be born.

Today, we have received unto us that precious reminder of a brighter future. Today, we Illuminators have received three of the Second Gods into our fold. It is any Illuminator’s greatest honor to protect and care for these three precious lives. For it, Canterlot continues to carry its message of hope, of Beauty and Harmony in Equestria. As of my writing, they have been housed in the royal rooms, perfectly preserved and maintained for their new guests.

Hopefully soon we will receive news from the Gravekeeper about the arrival of the other three Elements, though it seems like they have not approached nor been approached by any other shrine as of yet. It is possible that, like the Elements we have just received, the remaining three have become sidetracked, or otherwise lost. I pray for their safety, even though I, nor anyone else here, dare ask the three gods-to-be to look out for them.

Praise the alicorns. Praise the Second Gods. May their wisdom eternally grow more infinite.

Illuminator Ivory Inkwell

~Luna~

There’s this one thing that I can’t stop thinking of. It’s a really little thing too! It’s my feet! They’re really, really clean. I wash them nice and proper when I can, make sure to get most of the mud and rocks and grass and everything off. They always look okay, I just thought the bottom of my hoof was a yucky brown color and there was nothing I could do about it.

But for the first time ever, the bottom of my hoof is actually blue. Blue and tingly! When I step down, it’s like I can feel whole new worlds of feelings. I can feel the carpet hairs brushing against my sole as I walk, and gosh, that is the weirdest feeling.

The rest of me has been scrubbed crazy clean too, of course. Celestia said we all needed to take a bath, and like, eight ponies leapt from nowhere to scrub us down. My mane and tail have been trimmed, my coat deep cleaned. And there was this one unicorn with tweezers, she spent a forever just picking bugs off of me. I didn’t even realize I had bugs on me! That’s so weird… and kind’ve gross too. And at the end of it, they gave me my Element back, and it was so sparkly and shiny! I’m really grateful to all of them!

“And everything here is crazy and wonderful, and woah!” I squealed. “It’s like a magical dream come true!”

“I know!” my sister replied, “Never in my wildest dreams!” She sniffled, struggling to hold her tiny little makeup brush still. “It’s like I’m a Baroness again!”

“Baroness? Nuh-uh! We’re Princesses!”

“We are, oh goodness we are! We are. We are!” Celestia giggled like crazy. Her jittery aura dashed a line of red makeup across her nose.

I sat on a velvet pillow (which was really squishy and nice!) watching my sister fuss in front of a mirror. She squinted at her face, and conjured another light behind her. The glow mixed in with the pale blue glow of the crystal stands and chandelier, making her room even more warm and colorful. She was wearing a poofy pink dress, and I was wearing a poofy glittery blue dress, and I don’t even remember the last time I was even allowed to touch a dress, let alone wear one! My sister’s coat was really pale in a way I forgot it could look like. And her mane was properly poofy in big curly cinnamon buns again!

And we were in her room! Because I have a room, and Discord has a room, and she has a room and I just mentioned that, but WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN ROOMS! Hers was like autumn, with decorations in deep, warm orange and red. Patterned cloth with little gold tassels was draped over everything. And I mean everything! The bed, the floor, the ceiling, the mirror, the WINDOW! Whenever I wasn’t looking at my sister, my eyes were sucked over to that window. It was night outside, actual, real night. No clouds, no gloom. Just a dark purple peppered by all those sparkly stars.

“And they’re holding a party for us!” I squealed, thoughts just tumbling out my mouth. “And the party is at night, big sis! AT NIGHT! This place is CRAZY!”

There was a fast rapping on the door. Celestia dropped her brush, splattering a big stain across the top of the mirror dresser.

“Who—?” Celestia stammered. She straightened herself. “Whoever is it?”

“My Princesses!” A guard clad in gold clinky armor poked his nose in the door. He looked pretty much just as nervous as Celestia did. “I heard shouting! Are you alright?!”

“Yes. All’s fine,” she squeaked, “Just getting ready for the ball! Luna’s just, you know, a bit loud when she’s excited!”

“Oh. Well.” The guard shifted on his hooves. Quickly, he bowed to both me and my sister. “Very well. Carry on.” He bowed again. And then out he went, back into the hall.

“Always eager to help us. Maybe a bit too eager?” Celestia picked up her brush again, giggling over and over, “Did you know? One of the maids actually offered to help me with my makeup? I told her no but… I think I probably needed the help! Ah well. This looks nice.”

She did a few more dashes with the brush, then popped her lips. Leaned left, leaned right… Nodded to herself too. Then she picked up the pot, being extra special careful and dainty as she screwed the top back into place. A few more pots and brushes lit up as she trotted, still extra dainty, over to where I was sitting. It took her a bit to settle beside me, because she constantly looked down to adjust her ruffles.

“You’re turn, little sister. Close your eyes.”

“Uh-huh!”

I waited quietly with my eyes closed. Wondered when the makeup-ing was going to start. Or if it would ever start! What is Celestia even doing?

The brush came from nowhere, a cold little splatter on my eyelid. I resisted being tickled as hard as I could.

“It’s just so relaxing,” Celestia said. “Knowing we’re safe, we’re protected and cared for. Goodness, I’m just so giddy! I could get used to this kind of treatment.”

“Mm-hm!” I replied. Celestia nudged my face with her hoof, turning it a little. “Too bad it’s just until the other three Elements get here.”

“Oh, I know that. I’m, well…” She laughed for the millionth time. But this was a little different. More nervous. My head was turned the other way. “A part of me is actually a little guilty.”

“Why?”

“Close your eyes, Luna!” I squinted shut the offending eyelid. “I just, well, I know there’s still so many problems down there, in Equestria. I still can’t believe how Canterlot gets away with being so above it all…”

“They told us that Canterlot has to be!” I said.

“I know, but… I don’t want to stay here long. I love it here too much, you know?” She was quiet for a moment, a poofy pad fluttering over my cheeks. “I would like a short time to relax, but we should be out helping Equestria. Somehow.”

“I don’t know if there’s much we can do on our own, big sis.”

“Surely, there must be something.”

“Celestia.” I couldn’t stop myself again. I peeked at her out of one eye. My sister was still smiling… but not in a giddy, giggly way. “I really don’t like it when you get crazy about helping ponies. You’d hurt yourself to help people.”

“I won’t obsess!” The brush dipped too close to my face and ran across my lips. “I’m just going to check with some of the Illuminators. If there is even a small way to help, I want to know. We’re Princesses! Right? Alicorns or no, full set of Elements or no, a Princess has the power to order something for her people.”

“Don’t get craaaazyyyyy,” I teased.

“Don’t you worry, you funny little sister!”

“And that’s another thing!” I huffed. “You’re already talking funny, Celestia!”

“Ohhhh, well! It’s best to act proper again, no?”

My shoulders sagged, “You’re going to pick on me for my manners, aren’t you?”

“I won’t have to if you remember how to act properly!” Celestia teased. The brush withdrew. “Alright Luna, you can stop trying to sneak peeks at me. Open your eyes and come to the mirror.”

I did as she told me to, rushing to the full body mirror and wondering if my sister would snip at me about my stride. To be fair, I did trip over the super poofy dress’ hem like, three times while running. But I had to see! There was now a blue color on my eyelids (I winked at myself a TON to see it properly!) And big shiny streaks of purple over my lips, almost the same color as the frilly frou-frou dress.

“Well,” Celestia asked. “How does it feel?”

“Like my face is covered in paint?” I stuck out my tongue. Bad idea! “Oh crap, my lips taste awful!”

“Well don’t try to taste then, Luna!” Celestia kneeled in front of me again, brandishing the purple brush. “Now I have to do some touch-ups…” And the wet feeling returned to my lips, swiping to and fro.

“Okay, okay!” I ducked back as soon as she was done. “I’m pretty now, so let’s go get Discord and go to that party!”

“Oh goodness, Discord!” Celestia gasped. “Do you think he’d know how to put on a doublet properly?

“Discord’s smart I’m sure he could figure a shirt out!”

I made a dash for the door, yanking it open before I smacked into it. Nearly tripped over myself and the nervous guard as I ran into the super-high-ceiling and marble-white hallway. Charging down a big carpet that shimmered and reflected dozens of colors in both moonlight and glowy crystal light--

“Luna, slow down! Walk properly!”

I knew it! I knew she would snip!

“Princess Luna! Princess Celestia! I must escort you, please slow down!”

And she’s still right. Darnit!

~Discord~

I reached for another of the candies. Dozens of empty wrappers crinkled all around me as I pawed at the bowl. It nearly tipped completely over again, of course. This mattress was crazy soft, and stuff sinks in a lot, even for something as light as a carved crystal bowl.

My jaws were stuffed full of these weird gummy things. A blue one, a pink one, a pale white one, and that’s just right then. I didn’t know what the heck they were, but they’re sweet, they’re chewy, and they were freaking good. Think maybe I’d gone through a metric ton of these? Don’t know exactly how many, and eh, I didn’t really care enough to count.

Anyway, I picked up another one and dropped it in front of me. The candy’s stuck in a kind of waxy paper, twirled into a bowtie shape. I was actually eating the paper for the longest time before I realized I was supposed to unwrap the darn things. Much better without the paper mucking the flavor and texture up.

But you know, after a while, just swirling and peeling the paper off the candy was boring. Easy reward, easily gotten. There was a better way to do this. A fun way, somewhere.

So heck yes, I found a fun way.

I adjusted myself under the blanket, making sure my arms were warm and covered again. Then, I stared at the current target. It was a white one with a pink swirl. I freaking love the ones with a pink swirl. They’ve got a curious cold taste to them, makes everything so much sweeter. Okay, like I’ve been practicing. New spell. Which is actually a reworking of an old spell. Let’s do it.

I sunk further into the cloud-soft bed, working my aching jaw over the wad in my mouth, feeling it stick all over my gums and teeth. Feeling while thinking. Focusing. Solid illusions. I can make stuff move, but only stuff that breaks and squeaks like bits of charcoal. I should be able to do way more than just that. Just like I can create an image of anything, I could create an object that felt like anything. Right?

I tapped the bed in front of me, glaring down at the wrapper. I thought of strings. Little light strings made of flax. I tried to think about how they felt, how they moved. Not all at once, couldn’t just pop a string to life. I had to weave it to life. Paint it. The basics of illusion crafting. I once weaved light, now to weave in physical properties…

I breathed evenly, gulping own my sugary spit. Magic crept from my claws.

And tiny little strings wove themselves around the wax paper. Little white strings, where each thread could be seen clearly. Perfectly. They dug through the paper, poking holes in an out as they grew. Okay.

I imagined it bending, several of them bending. If I could just move one side without any flaking…

And the corner of the wrapper slowly curled up, as natural as magic can be.

Alright! Now we’re getting somewhere! Tip of my claw tingling, I made the strings tug and twist. The paper elongated. Shivered. Rolled end over and as the strings twitched the wrapper loose.

And the only crackling came from the wax paper as it peeled open.

“Yesh!” I exclaimed, words catching up in the gooey mess the other candies were leaving in my mouth. I slapped the wrapper-covered bed, and eagerly pulled together a purple charcoal catapult. It worked its way under the candy, pinning, peeling… Flaking too, but who cares? With a snap, the catapult flung the candy into my awaiting gums.

Oh yes, even when it hurts to chew, the pink and white swirly pieces are still amazing. I am the frigging greatest spellcaster Draconequus ever! My claw shot out for another sweet, ready to keep practicing until the real illusions are just as easy as the intangible ones.

Except suddenly, my door banged open.

“Discord, are you ready yet!?” Luna shouted. At least, I think it was Luna. And I think it was Celestia. They were both wearing their Elements, must be them. But honestly, I had to blink a few times. What the heck were they wearing? Was that a dress? That thing with bulbous sleeves and dangerously voluminous skirts? And what was all that gunk on their face?

“Redfy?” Spit dribbled from my mouth as I talked. Um. That’s embarrassing… I wiped it away immediately, eyes flicking up to Luna. “Fsher wha’?”

Luna stared at me. Briefly, one of the golden armor guys poked his nose into the door frame. What did he want? But as soon as I saw him, he turned tail, and just stood there, staring at the marble wall. Right. Guard. Guarding. Anyway.

“Why’sh yer fasche covber’d n’ paintsh?” not that it was a bad thing, I don’t think. She looked cute. Like when she used to dress up, months and months ago… Celestia, eh, she looked like Celestia. But in a dress.

“Why are you talking like that?” Luna asked, head tilting sideways.

“Ish dish candysh,” I shoved the bowl towards her, sending wrappers and more than a couple candies tumbling off the bed. “Wan’ shome? Ish rel goodsh!”

“Ooh,” she lifted one from theground. “Saltwater taffy!”

“Luna, not with your lipstick on,” Celestia said. “You could smear it.”

“Aw…”

Her loss, then. I unwrapped another taffy, with fingers this time.

“Why are you in bed Discord?” Celestia demanded, “We have places to be! And how many of these have you eaten?”

“Wha, you wantsh shome too?”

“Discord,” she huffed. Not an angry huff though. Concerned. “You are going to make yourself sick.”

“Wha? No!” I shook my head, chomping down on a yellow piece. “Deesh thshin’s rock. Sho goo’!”

“I… nevermind. Can you just get ready so we can get going?”

“Mm-hmm. Din’d realshize ith wash sho latsh.” I stuffed another candy in my mouth and set aside the bowl. Getting ready sounded easy enough. Though I guess to do it, I’d have to leave the comfort of this bed… Life, sleeping on that is like sleeping on a dream. Anyway. I strode across my purple-and-star coated room (Luna was pretty envious of it, maybe we’ll switch later) to the dark dresser… thing. They had taken my Element to be polished or something, and honestly, it looked pretty dang snazzy now. I dropped it back into its rightful place around my neck, then turned to the girls.

“Alrighsh. Ready.”

Luna giggled, Celestia shook her head.

“Wha?”

“This is a formal ball, Discord,” Celestia explained. “You’re going to need to wear a doublet.”

“A whatshit nahw?”

“For goodness sake,” Celestia cried. “Finish off your candy already!”

“Nah, ahym makin’ dish lasht.”

Luna continued giggling and Celestia continued shaking her head. Sometimes, my friends are so predictable. Celestia strode past me towards another one of the wood boxy furnitures. She popped open a big double door thing and—

“Holy crapsh,” I swallowed a big chunk of the taffy, “Those clothes weren’t in there before! I checked!”

“You remember when they took your measurements?”

“Uh… the guy with the yellow tape during the bath?”

“Yes. They’ve had these tailored. Just for you, special. To wear.”

She hovered a red shirt… coat out. It looked more like a tapestry molded into a shirt like shape than anything anybody would wear. And I swear, it had the poofiest sleeves I had ever seen. They had been cut open in some kind of attempt to make them even more poofy.

“This is a doublet, Discord,” Celestia said, “You need to wear this.”

“Okay,” I reached for it, but—

“No, Discord, you have to put this shirt on first.”

She pulled out another thing that looked a little bit more reasonable as clothing… You know, if it wasn’t so frilly and covered in fancy lace.

“You ponies and your clothes,” I snorted. “What the heck even is that called?”

“A shirt? Put it on.”

I shrugged, “Whatever you say, Princess.”

Celestia blushed a bright pink, barely restraining a smile. Of course she’d like a title like that. I wouldn’t say it suited her, but uh… Princess Celestia. Yeah, that rolls off the tongue really nice. Anyway, she carefully laid the things on my bed, trying to brush away the candy wrappers as she did. I, well, I immediately struggled with the buttons. But I also pretended as hard as I could that it was no big deal.

“So Discord!” Luna said. Oh geez, did she notice my struggles?

“Yep, Luna?”

“Your mane looks really nice!”

“What?” I glanced up… And then felt dumb for doing so. “Does it?”

“You saw it in the mirror, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but, uh…” I returned to the buttons. Okay, dumb fingers. Try not to rip each one out. “It feels really weird on my head now.”

“Really?” Luna asked. “Like how?”

“It’s just all… fluffy. And weird.”

“You mean not full of grease and dirt?” Celestia teased. I rolled my eyes, finally managing the weird shirt open.

“Oh, give it a rest, alright?” I snuck into the shirt and… oh god, now I have to reattach all these buttons! “So!” I said, “This place is pretty fantastic, you guys. Free room, free food, treated like, well, royalty!”

“Oh yes!” Celestia said. “It is fantastic.”

“But don’t get too comfy!” Luna said, “We’re only here until the other three arrive!”

“You’re kidding me? We’re here for the long haul.” I shoved my wings through the holes in the back of my shirt. Pleased to find them there, to be honest. “Yeah, we’re waiting for Honesty, Generosity, and Magic to turn up. But then what? We take some time to get to know them, however long the Elements think we need to do a full Harmony Blast. Then we leave, blast the stallion, and come right back.” I struggled with the doublet, staring at the winding tapestry on the ceiling. “The Illuminators gave us the grand tour guys. They set us up in our own rooms, that they offered to personalize. I overheard a couple of them talking about setting us up with specialized tutors. What do you think happens when this is all over? Where else did you think we’d go? Back to Hock? Stay in Canterbury? No, we’re coming right back here.

“So, let’s get comfortable. Settle right the heck in and… and just… darnit!” I struggled with the doublet, trying to pull it around my shoulders. But the cloth I was wearing was catching on the cloth I was putting on and… “Is it supposed to bunch like this? This thing is uncomfortable!”

Celestia helped me struggle with the heavy doublet, mindlessly tugging it closed.

“Well then,” Celestia said. “That does make sense. And I've very glad to hear it. I think we can all agree,” she looked over me, then Luna. “Things seem nicer here. More than any other place we've been.”

“We're safe here,” Luna added.

“Hey. Free food,” I added. "Ponies that actually care about how we're doing."

“So let's go to that ball,” Celestia spoke up, nodding. “And let's have a fabulous time.”

Comments

[Mimicry]

Very nice.

[Calen]

Wow, I'm glad to see that you've updated. I hope you don't mind my guessing but will King Sombra make a apperance among the other unknown bearers of elements or are you just going to exclude him from this story. I'm just asking because I've finally gotten around to watching season 3 opening episodes and I was kinda curious as to what you might have thought of him. Personally, I think Mr. floating shadow head needs more fanon.

But I'm rambling a bit. In any case, the chapter was very good. I really liked the viewpoint change to one of the scribes to describe as to Canterlot's purpose. And don't get me started on the vivid words used!

[Greytercakes]

1628620
You know.... I thought of the perfect place for King Sombra the day after the episode aired. While I will be granting him a decent sized chunk of my story, I will tell you this: It will not be anytime soon.
But you know, it's kind've funny. I came up with a place for him pretty easy. Yet it took me friggin months to figure out where Cadence comes in

[musicluvr1974]

Ah, the perks of royalty... Wait 'til Discord finds out they have those for a reason... *evil chuckle*

Wish FiMFiction had a spoiler tag... *sigh* Oh, well... the reason those are in place is to help leaders de-stress from the enormously responsible tasks they have to take on each day. I wonder how long it'll take our favorite Chaos dragon to throw over those traces? *snerk*

[Sixpack]

*comment for the comments god!*

[Thegodhand]

Doesnt the shadow stallion already kind of hold Sombra's place? They are both shadow magic based dictators.

[Greytercakes]

1630903
"Shadow" is a pretty common villain type, I admit
But on the other hand, there's a lot of characters running around in my story with shadow magic.

[Hiddensecretsecret]

Aggh! Another chapter!
Now I have to update....

[Runmaru]

This chapter made me feel happiness.

[the onlyoneofmeisyou]

It’s a really little thing too! It’s my feet! They’re really, really clean.

...I don't know about this.....

[Greytercakes]

1641488
For balls sake, you guys!
A hoof is a PART of a foot! A hoof is a specific kind of TOE!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoof
OKAY?!
You guys are driving me pinkamina over here!

[the onlyoneofmeisyou]

1643785 Sorry. I'm not really educated on the subject of hooves.

[Cat Eye]

Up date please

[Kate_Bit]

i.imgur.com/T6FwA.jpg

[Kate_Bit]

Sorry that's so big

[Undecided]

Let me say first that I loved this story starting out. I love Celestia and Luna's backstory and how they got their cutie marks. I like how Discord was introduced and how he's played out, but somewhere around the 'Parents' chapter it really started feeling like less of an Adventure and more a slow, drawn out drama. It really feels like she was given the element out of the writers pity. Luna proved herself for hers. Discord proved himself for his, and any discrepancies in his kindness is easily explained simply by "cultural differences." It feels like loyalty has been written out of character to the point of being abusive to both the readers intelligence and her allies. You write her the same way people roleplay Paladins in DnD where Lawful Good =Lawful Stupid. For about 15 chapters it's felt like you've simply said "And then they do this" and "And then this happens" forcing the reader to go along with it instead of drawing them into it. While I've enjoyed what has happened during these scenarios, I can't forgive the writing that bridges them together.

I've enjoyed your writing for a while and you've done a great job. I've enjoyed Luna and Discord's development (character and power wise). Discord's character development has been great and thoroughly I enjoy Luna's powers. I feel like Celestia has had 30 chapters of no development, and then about 15 chapter of her suddenly being out of her mind stupid. I'll probably read this story once it's finished, but as of the end of chapter 46, I'm tired of it.

TL;DR
Feels like a slow motion drama instead of adventure. The Element of Loyalty is Lawful stupid and feels completely out of character. Amazing lore. Unenjoyable to read. Segways feel forced. Two "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" worth of story that ignored developing a main character. Luna is best Batman.

[Greytercakes]

1681207
You wanna know what the average conversation is with my main editor?

Me: Hey, do things feel right to you?
Steiny: Yeah, everything's fine. Chapter's good as always.
Me: No it feels different. This is weak, it's not flowing right. It needs to be redone.
Steiny: Stop worrying, it's good.
Me: Well what about Celestia? She's not bitchy, right?
Steiny: No, she makes sense. She's fine.
Me: But all she does is whine. I know she's not comfortable, but maybe I should fix something?
Steiny: You worry too much. Don't fix what isn't broken.

Things havn't felt right since I bombed out in Stringhalt. I know I'm not the best writer, I know that I'm still learning, and I know that things have gone stagnant. Now I am so fucking afraid of writing the next arc, because it's just a big foot-dragging exercise down a path I locked myself onto. Guess that's just serial fiction. I made my bed, and I can't edit, fix, or move the pieces around now. I just got to get in it and write from here.

So I'm sorry that I've failed you. I'm sorry that I failed anybody who hasn't spoken up and feels the same. I'm sorry.

[Total Eclipse]

You could always try to make a things a little more flamboyant. Ya know, change up your style a little.

[Greytercakes]

1704119
Actually started this project to experiment with writing.... Not entirely sure how to change it up even more than the loose style I have now. I dunno, I'll find something more to spice this up.

[Total Eclipse]

1704757

No worries.

I expect certain things from stories that I read. What that is is different from story to story and from author to author and with The Steadfast Sky, i've come to expect the characters to feel alive.

Luna feels like a kid, despite her growth her parts still read like a kids PoV.
Celestia feels like a kid trying to fill big shoes
Discord feels like a confused soul caught in in something bigger than he could possibly image, while at the same time cherishing the experience.

Me and your main editor may be on the same wavelength's in that area, we enjoy the characters so the way you word the details is pretty much secondary to use. No offense to your writing. That's just what I prioritize in this story.

In my eyes, you don't need to change anything as long as the characters feel real. I was just tossing you words, in short. I'd support almost any change you decide to make (or don't decide to make).

[flyingcheese143]

Potato.

[Greytercakes]

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jdfoods.net/upload/1264796137-twice_baked_potato.jpg
This is what you ordered, right?

[flyingcheese143]

>>TheGreyPotter POTATO!

[Riverwing]

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Element?