Love is in Bloom
Love is in bloom, a beautiful bride, a handsome groom…
The sound of celebration and joy echoed through the castle of Canterlot as many danced and sang with happiness in the wake of the recent invasion by the Changeling army. Though it was not known, many guards had been fighting the Changeling horde long before they had even attacked Canterlot. Taken by surprise, the few in the barracks on the outskirts of the city bravely took on the Changelings that had been infiltrating local towns before eventually falling to the overwhelming size of the army. Nevertheless, every last Changeling was finally forced out of Equestrian borders and the land was safe once more.
From his posted point, Flash Sentry looked on at the bright lights in the distance that originated from the Canterlot Gardens. He had been part of the team enlisted to push the remainder of the Changeling army back from whence they came: he and his men had just returned from the borders on the badlands. Looking on at the party in the distance, he wiped the green goop of some unfortunate Changeling from his helmet before returning to his men.
Already everyone was exhausted from the events that transpired through the day. After the unfortunate events that had taken place earlier, everypony was tired of fighting and ready to hit the hay early.
"Well guys, looks like our Captain finally got hitched!" Flash Sentry roared to his squad. His team laughed in approval as they began stripping off their armour.
"Hopefully settling down means he will be less harsh on us," added one soldier who began stretching out his shoulder from the strain of fighting.
"Yeah right. If anything after this fiasco, he’s going to send us to the Badlands for training," joked another.
Flash Sentry simply smiled and started to scrub out the dirt and muck from his armour. A low murmur of agreement swept through the squad as they all began to clean their equipment back to their original shine.
"Hey Sir, wanna go sneak into the celebrations in the city? The night is still young," offered Flash Sentry's second in command, Night Spear.
"No thanks, I think we should all hit the hay. Anyone who wants to head off go ahead, but I expect you awake bright and early tomorrow to be there for Captain Shining Armour's roll call at 0930. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Sir!" shouted the group as some began retreating to their dorms while others prepared for a night in the city.
"Doesn't it start at 0900 Sir?" questioned Night Spear as they headed for the washing bowl.
"A little extra sleep never killed anypony; I'll explain it to him when I see him. Anyway from the looks of it, Captain Shining Armour is going to be late himself." Flash Sentry smirked as he wiped off the layer of sweat that had accumulated on his brow. Night Spear shook her head before doing the same.
"So you hitting the hay?" Night Spear asked her superior officer while hanging up her armour. Turning to face him, she realized he had put his armour back on.
"No, I’ve got to make one last round then I'll head back," he replied. Flexing his shoulders, he took a step forward and prepped his tired wings for another flight.
"Hey."
Flash Sentry turned his head to face his second in command.
"Don't blame yourself, alright? We were all were taken by surprise too." Night Spear called to her leader.
"Yeah, but I'm the one that has to go report to the Captain about it," he joked and flashed her a weak smile. She gave him a smack on his back for good luck before heading out the barrack doors. Flash rolled his eyes before taking flight.
The sky is nice tonight, Flash thought to himself as he soared the skies. It was hard to believe that only five hours ago the entire city was being taken over by Changelings. Flash had dealt with them before; two weeks before the Canterlot wedding there had already been several raids on the southern borders of Equestria. It wasn't until three days ago when the Changelings started to mass together that anypony realized what was going on. By then, it was too late: the small raids were simply distractions to allow changelings disguised as wounded ponies and soldiers into Canterlot. When the main fighting broke out, chaos was everywhere; nopony could trust one another and many had resorted to attacking their own in fear.
Everything ended when Shining Armour’s distinctive bubble shield happened to get reactivated. Flash Sentry had been surrounded when he saw the ball expand and expel all the Changelings from the city. He later learned it was by the efforts of the Elements of Harmony and Shining Armour’s new wife that the city was saved.
"Always the Captain coming to save our asses," he mumbled to himself as he made a quick turn into the military office to turn in his report. Shining Armour expectantly wasn't there.
Looking around, he quickly dropped off a neatly tied-up scroll before heading out the same way he came in. Sighing in relief that he could put off his face-to-face report for another night, Flash Sentry took to the skies, soaring above the castle and the royal after-party that was happening at Canterlot Gardens.
He took an extra round around the castle to gather his thoughts.
Looking down at the party, he could see a pony in the garden maze alone. Slowly descending, he could make out a white stallion with a dark blue mane which was usually hidden under a helmet.
Captain Shining Armour?
Descending quickly but silently, Flash landed on the soft garden grass and sneaked through the bushes to get a closer look at his captain.
Shining Armour stood resting against a statue. Flash could tell his captain was not happy; he didn't look angry either, but rather had a melancholic aura coming from him.
"I give you five seconds to reveal yourself before I forcibly remove you," stated Shining Armour.
Flash scratched his head in confusion as to why his commander had randomly called out to nopony in particular. It wasn’t until he felt himself being magically thrown from his hiding place into the open that he registered that Shining was referring to him.
Ah crap, busted.
"Sorry Sir, did not mean to pry, Sir," he quickly said as he got to his hooves. He saluted his captain whilst mentally kicking himself for not realizing sooner.
Shining Armour relaxed his shoulders and deactivated his magic. Quickly putting on a stern face, he turned to Flash with a clear frown on his face.
Well, now he is pissed.
"What exactly were you attempting to do, Officer Cadet Sentry?" he asked. Flash tried to think of an answer that wouldn't end his career.
"I was merely worried about you... Sir." He prayed that Shining Armour wouldn't demote him to toilet duty.
Glancing at his superior officer, Flash realized that he had relaxed and was calm once more.
"At ease, then. Don't try that again, understood?" Flash nodded silently. “Especially right after all that has just happened,” Shining Armour added.
Flash sentry saluted and nodded before watching Shining Armour leave.
"You looked anxious, Sir," he called to his captain. "Is something wrong, Sir?"
Shining Armour turned back to face Flash, who immediately began mentally kicking himself some more.
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?" Flash asked while saluting again.
"Permission granted."
"You look worried about something. I have returned from the borders and I assure you that we chased every single one of them back to their caves, Sir"
"That's good to hear, but you too seem to have something you are worried about, Officer."
Shining approached Flash and placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"I heard from the earlier party that you sent your party further past the border than any other. Why is that?"
Flash drooped his head in shame. He knew he would have to report this sooner or later, but he had hoped that he would have his company with him to support him. Now he was alone, he was weak.
"I...I was the one to let the Changelings through, Sir," he stated before sitting on the soft grass. "I had suspicions that they were sneaking in by impersonating our own, but I couldn't...I couldn't leave any of them out there to die, ya know?" Flash felt dead inside. Shining was his leader and he let him down; once more the Captain had to clean up the mess left by his mistakes and carelessness. "I figured that we could sort out the good and bad later, but it was too late. They took us from all sides and I was the one that gave the order to let them all in."
"It's okay, soldier. You shouldn’t blame yourself. It was the right thing to do." Flash looked up at his commanding officer, who pulled him to his hooves. “But you still haven’t answered my question.”
“It was my mistake that cost the lives of so many, I guess I just wanted to get back at them. You know, make sure they would never come back.”
“I understand, but you shouldn’t let a need for redemption to cloud your judgement in the future. Especially if I am going to promote you.”
“Sir?” Flash looked up at his Captain expecting to see some sort of hint that it was a joke, but he found none.
“Your actions may not have been very safe, but were noble at heart. Despite being under heavy stress, you pulled through in the end. You were the fastest to recover and head out to push the Changelings back.”
Flash felt his heart drop. “Sir, with all due respect, I do not believe I deserve a promotion.”
“Flash, I understand you may still be traumatized by what has transpired in the past day. If you don’t feel you are prepared for your new position, I won’t force you. If you like, I can reassign you to somewhere with less stress until you feel that you are ready. Is that alright?”
Flash smiled before saluting his captain. “Yes Sir.”
Shining turned to leave, satisfied that he had taken care of the matter at hoof.
However, Flash still had one concern. “Sir, if I may I ask what is troubling you?”
Shining Armour stopped, then turned his head to face Flash and sighed. "Alright. You told me what was bothering you; I guess it’s only fair I do the same." He was hoping Flash had forgotten.
“There is this mare in my life, somepony I hold close to my heart.” He paused to process his thoughts. “The— my wedding, it opened my eyes and I worry for her future.”
“Sir?” Flash tried to get the attention of his captain, as Shining Armour had stopped speaking and looked lost in thought.
Shining shook his head to bring himself back to reality. “Ah, right. I fear that my marriage distances her from me, and I love her very much.”
“Does your wife know about her?” Flash asked, a horrifying thought struck his mind. I hope he isn’t having an affair!
“Absolutely, and she is just as fond of her,” Shining Armour replied nonchalantly.
Flash sighed, before another thought struck. He isn’t talking about a second wife, is he? Flash shuddered slightly before expelling the thought from his mind. His captain would never do anything that scandalous.
“Cadence has known her for a long time.” He smiled as he looked to the sky, remembering days past. “Back when we were young, the three of us used to sleep together on the nights that Cadence came over. And we would snuggle together when she got scared.”
Shining realized he was going off on a tangent. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m not sure I can give them both the attention they deserve.”
Flash squirmed uncomfortably where he stood. Clearly this story was not what he had expected to hear.
“Sir, I can’t really help you with this. I’m not that familiar with the law, but isn’t it illegal to have two wives?”
The silence was so heavy that Flash could feel his legs buckle under the pressure. Shining slowly turned to face Flash Sentry, who could see the throbbing vein in his forehead. Instantly he could feel his mental hoof giving a thousand kicks to his hind quarters which was nothing compared to the barrage he knew was coming.
“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO?” raged Shining Armour with a force that could bring down a building.
Flash dropped to the ground, cowering in fear of his captain. “I’m sorry Sir that’s not what I meant I had no intention of insulting you in any way it’s totally fine with me if you want to have two wives!”
“WHAT KIND OF PONY DO YOU THINK I AM?”
“I’m so sorr—”
“DO YOU THINK I HAVE A WEAK MORAL CODE?” Shining Armour roared, cutting off any apology that Flash was attempting to make. “I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!”
Flash looked up from behind his hooves. “So you aren’t talking about having a second wife?”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Shining realized that he was getting too loud and took a breath to calm down. “What in Equestria would make you think I was talking about that?” he hissed angrily.
“Sir, you stated that the you loved this mare very much Sir.” Flash blurted out, defending himself. Shining took a moment to recollect his words before face-hoofing.
“I’m sorry, that’s my fault. I was talking about my sister.”
Flash felt a mental hoof slap him across the face.
“My sister has been engrossed in her studies, and my wedding made me realize that both of us have grown older. However, she is nowhere close to settling down; I mean, she has never even dated anypony. And I worry that she never will.”
“Well Sir, I believe she may just need to take her own time to sort out her future. I’m sure she will find someone when the time is right.”
“It might be wise to take your own advice, Flash.” Shining Armour gave a salute. “I expect to see you bright and early tomorrow at 0900, yes?” As he walked back to the party, he stopped just before exiting the garden. “Or was it 0930?”
Flash smiled and saluted back. “Thank you, Sir.”
Flash turned the other way and prepped his wings for flight. Making sure that Shining Armour had left, he pushed off with his hind legs, only to hear another voice in the garden.
Turning around as he took flight, he could see a purple mare standing in the garden maze.
Who could that be? was the last thought going through his head… before he hit a tree.
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Now I has to waits!!! But great first chapter
I
it! Gimmee more
This looks like it could be fun.
Couple bits of advice:
One -- don't be afraid to use "said" when attributing dialogue. It's one of those "invisible" words that your reader will never really notice... but they will notice you going out of your way to avoid it by constantly using other attributions like "roared", "stated", "questioned", "offered", "queried", "called", etc., and too much of that gets distracting. (It's an offshoot of the "don't swallow a thesaurus" principle.
)
Second -- it's enough to say that Shining Armor "shouted" his dialogue; it's not necessary to put it in ALL-CAPS too.
That makes it look like he's screaming hysterically, instead of just raising his voice loudly enough to override the other speakers.
Good story, but the chapter name doesn't match the topic
Dude, I thought we had gone over the section separations. Big block of text is a no-no.
3738273
Thanks for pointing those things out. That's my bad— should've said something. Late-night editing sessions can cause slips sometimes...
3740832
Oh damn, I did add spaces but I think the copy over screwed it up... Will fix it when I get back
This definitely has potential!
I shall see were this goes. No rating yet.
3742404
Will so my best to please!!
3742429
With that typo, so far so good.
Tracking.
There still isn't enough of the actually story yet to form a real opinion... which makes all those Dislikes really weird.
3738273
There... were no other speakers. He really was screaming -furiously-.
I quite like it. I'm no shipper of any kind, but if the story is well written, then I have no problem with TwiFlash. I don't really know why so many people is so negative towards Flash Sentry. I agree that his apparance in EQG isn't ideal and somewhat flat in personality, but to me it just gives an author an excuse to develop the character more under their own likes.
I really hope there will be some good romantic moments. I'm actually considering writing my own TwiFlash story...
3742490
The first dislikes was because then damn formatting made me post a wall of text
Then I got three more which I believe comes from eqg haters.
Either way its cool, at least I know people like it too.
3742434
Dammit, never liked to type from phones.
3742615
Probably not much, the story will revolve around Flash and his subsequent military life juggled with love life along with Shining armour facing the same problem with Cadence. But yes there will be the little bits of love
3742490
There was at least one other speaker in the conversation -- Flash Sentry.
3743366 Flash was cowering not talking, thus there was no need to talk over him.
LOL!!!!
Ba-hahahahahaha!!! Oh my gods... Shining Armor... you need to make your points a lot more clearer when discussing both your wife and little sister... And Flash... how did the thought of a sister NOT cross your mind at all?
I like you, you know that? I really do.
3746055
Never really liked OCs, I made one when I first started but he was awful (alicorn duh) so I gave up mostly completely to try and make one, there will be side oc characters but no main ones
3744818
Me and my editor took quite some time to come up with that joke, I'm happy someone got it
Well anyway, thanks to all for the good feedback, I actually had planned to not continue this story in favour of another but all these encouraging (and some not so but constructive) really makes me want to keep doing it.
Thanks guys
3746233
Same here. I do love Background Characters though. They're like OCs in that you can choose whatever personality you want, but they're not cheesy like OCs and people have a level of familiarity with them beforehand. In particular, I like the Quill and Sofa guy. Perhaps a bit too much
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Instant Fave just from the title.
I just love this story. I can completely understand Shining Armour's reaction, as a fellow older brother.
Watch out for that tree!
3751957
Damnit, you beat me too it!
Nice job, Waiting for the next!
I can honestly say, I can't wait for chapter 2.
I love this! I want so much more Flash Sparkle fan tics!
Can't wait for the up date
For the damnedest of reason I have the George of the Jungle theme song stuck in my head now.
3758649
I'm not sure how this is my fault?
3759033
Him flying into the tree made me think of it.
But really brilliant work so far. I look forward to seeing where things go from here
Good to see some Flashlight! And hey, it's not a horrible rating! Good stuff.
Aw,Now I got the George of the Jungle stuck in my head...
Looking forward for some more. Always glad to see another FlashLight story that doesn't suck. At least, not yet. Don't slack of. I don't like reading bad stories and I will read this one. I do not want to be dissapointed
This looks promising. (and good to see you fixed that no paragraph spacing thing, tried reading it before and gave up)
I am a bit confused by the part were Shining and Flash are discussing the changelings.
A. If this is at the after party of the wedding, why is Shining alone in the maze?
B. Flash's report. What was he doing during the invasion/after? I am having difficulty figuring out the sequence of events.
On the good side: Technical writing skills seem fine, we have what appears to be a competent and professional Flash (can I get a hallelujah?!), and of course, I'm a sucker for pretty much any Shining Armor story.
Finally:
Apparently you can marry into the Royal Canterlot Voice.
3767108
I am a bit confused by the part were Shining and Flash are discussing the changelings.
A. If this is at the after party of the wedding, why is Shining alone in the maze?
B. Flash's report. What was he doing during the invasion/after? I am having difficulty figuring out the sequence of events.
A. My idea here is that he broke away from the party and cadence to think about his future (Maybe spoilers) to do with cadence and twilight, It may or may not later be expanded on as to why he was alone.
B. Flash Sentry in my headcanon was on the front lines fighting the changelings, he let them through because they disguised themselves as fleeing civillians (The front lines are not at canterlot but on the border of the bad lands) After the front line disperses to fall back in order to protect Canterlot. Flash sees Shining Armour's evergy thing repel all the changlings, being one of the few still not heavily wounded soldiers, he gathers as many troops as he cans and pushes them back (It's written in the story I believe.)
static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130403195245/mlp/images/c/cb/Map_of_Equestria_April_2013.jpg
3765351
I probably shouldn't do this but what exactly would you define a sucky story? I currently have tons of ways this story branches out but am not sure which direction to take (I have storylines for romance, comedy, action, slice of life, dark)
So if you can, tell me what you find sucky in a story and I will make sure to try and avoid it. (Newbie writer here)
3769721 Basically, the question is "What makes a good story?"
Well... if you want an answer, I don't think there is one. Some could say that a well written story is good, but I read a lot of stories where I gave up halfway because I lost patience. Background Pony is one such story, with great story, well written and such, but I can't force myself to get into the second half and I can't think of why.
Or maybe its a story thats popular, but, you know... that's not always true.
Good news is, that I'm interested in what's to come. Flash seems like a good pick for protagonist of a story, but most of the times I've seen him, he's turned into a joke or a jerk with hardly any personality, if only because fans are too afraid to lose their pony-waifu (that, or the fact that he was painfully bland in EqG).
Also, great job on the ending. My personal theory is that if the first chapter ends with a bang, more people will be interested. And so far its true.
OUCH!
3769721
Thanks for the explanation! Makes much more sense now.
You know, I'm getting the feeling that this story may turn out like this
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Ride_Along_movie_poster.png
Get your head out of the clouds, metaphorical, Flash unless you like butting heads on everything like a certain rainbow manned Pegasus.
OTP so insta-faved
Oh Flash
When are you posting the next? I needs to know
3834855
I have a slow working ability, sorry, The next chapter is gonna be full of lols so look forward to it, I might blog a bit about it but it might take a while.
I was actually hoping to get it out before the hype went down so I could get to the feature page (Those dislikes pulled me down) But I got to the popular bar so I am happy enough.)
As I said, the next chap will be happy with a bit of sad. Action comes later
Can't wait lov it already
you can tell this will be a good story.
can't wait for the next!!
Question. When's the next part coming out?
3909424
I feel bad, I'm only a quarter way through, I'm so sorry. I had work so I only started this week