• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday


My name's PJ. I'm from New York. I write pony fics. I go to parties with bronies. I'm not good at self-introduction.



Well, not only mine, anyway. Each author is listed with the chapter. A lot of people like writing short fiction based on Friendship is Optimal. So, anyone who wants their work added here can PM me and I will make you your own chapter. The first one sets up an in-universe frame story, because the Optimalverse is all meta like that.


Iceman for writing the original Friendship is Optimal
Eakin for spearheading the project of anthologizing these.
MegaSweet for the original artwork.
Lacon-te for the photomosaic work.

Chapters (33)
Comments ( 635 )
Comment posted by Eakin deleted Jul 9th, 2013
Comment posted by pjabrony deleted Jul 9th, 2013

Welp. Now THIS is how you write a frame-story!

(So it doesn't actually tie you down to future plot details you haven't solidified yet, that's how!)

Ah, nothing like full-blown Evil Overlord mode.

MegaSweet for the original artwork (Not sure who made it into the photomosaic, but that version is here.


Google image search is your friend.

2848464 Then why doesn't it ever call?


I... I want to hammer. Things. Lots of things.

Oh, I like that Jo had a built in emigration mode. Maybe even a metal brain. YES!

I truly hate having nice characters die.

Hmmm maybe I might have a story or two I could contribute if I ever get around to writing them or decide I want to write them

This is of course due to my current stance on the Optimalverse and the Conversion Bureau which is to flee at sight or mention of it.

and that note RUN AWAY!

Interesting start. Values to satisfy, even now.

That was hilarious, and I could see Pinkie doing something similar.

I wonder if getting past trauma is a value that she satisfies.

How long have they waited to say that?

Flip phones: prevent you from accidentally being mind dumped into a computer program

I like how these are all completely :derpyderp1::scootangel:

Methinks the Upstart Crow would be amused... or bemused. :facehoof:

That ending did not satisfy my values through friendship and ponies. OUCH.

I once saw a picture of Jesus on the cross like the cover art. It was on facebook and had the whole usual, 'like if you love Jesus', thing going on. Several hundred likes later, a guy commented this;

'You guys do realize that it's made up of a hundred pictures of porn right?'

Twas funny.

Unlike certain algorithms, GIS doesn't feel compelled to satisfy your values. Alas.

In any case, huzzah! The Optimalverse has a dumping ground for the silly and the frivolous. I look forward to more.

Otherwise entitled "now that is a shaggy pony story". I'm so glad it's posted here, that gives me time to run for it... :pinkiecrazy:

This was such a horrible pun that my only defense is a worse one:

I don't know why this pun hurts so bad. Maybe the story needs more power. I tried to give it some when publishing, but the template wouldn't let me. I think that's what the problem is; I may try to figure it out later.

But for now, format's my last theorem.

I am mortally, mortally wounded... :facehoof: (giggle)

I don't actually get the pun.




Oh, Glorious Punificience! :trollestia: would approve!


The pain, the pain, it burns so bad.:facehoof:

2858447, 2858524

"Challenge accepted."
"Eh? An what challenge is 'at?"
"Word play, Baldric. Don't worry your little head about it, it's a sophisticate's game, simply not your field."
"Oh, so ye mean that the pun is mightier than the sward, then?"
Me: (Chokes as Baldric places a very smelly arm on my shoulder.)
"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. Me an' my cousins will take care of it."
Me: (Recovers aplomb, raises eyebrow)
"You and your cousins. Oh, really Baldric. How?"
Baldric: (Leans in, blows his fetid breath that stinks like a... stinky thing... into my face.)
"You see, We've got a punning clan!"



2858740 Did we move on to Spoonerisms? You see, after Professor Spooner emigrated, he decided that he wanted to be a detective, and so Celestia assigned him to the MMMystery on the Friendship Express. He lined up the suspects, from Applejack on the left to Pinkie Pie on the right.

"Ah didn't eat the cake."

"Me neither! It wasn't awesome."

"I...I didn't have a bite."

"Puh-lease! As if I would ever eat such a gauche dessert."

"I helped bake it! Why would I eat it?"

He took one look and read their faces. "Applejack, Pinkie. You are telling the truth.

"But you lie, middle ponies."


"Awww," said Pinkie. "You found them, but stiiiiiiiiiill! The cake is ruuuuuuined!"

"Well, that was your mistake," said Spooner. "Next time, make a pie, little moan-y."

2858740 2858814
Ohhhh the pain! I swear, after this, I shall think twice before engaging in high-brow wordplay or lowly puns. I shall, instead, seek a third path, a happy median, where none shall be ired.

This way I shall escape an otherwise surely ignominious fate - after all, everyone's always telling me they want less violence on the median.

Brought to you by the famous philosopher, Pinkie Pie Thaogoras! :facehoof:

*a non-specific interval of time later*:


Ponies on the median? Another case of Furvival of the Sitists?


Jedi mind tricks! :trollestia:

No, they don't, as long as they can make light of them. :trollestia::trollestia:


I shall, instead, seek a third path, a happy median, where none shall be ired.

A happier median is one where none shall be tired (spelt tyred in the Queen's demesnes, no?)

I'm pretty sure my reward is to listen to the pun-ishment going on in the comments...


Ayyyyup! You deserve com-pun-sation.

Pjabrony's pun was far more understandable, tbh... :unsuresweetie:

Read those Eulas or you might be migrated to equestria. At least he got the deluxe package.

Six months ago -> today. That's six months.

There are Reasons it took six months, but they didn't fit in vignette form.

Jerome the Idiot looked on as Jennifer was pulled behind the counter. The Pinkiebot nudges him. She whispers in his ear.
"For no extra charge we'll supersize you."
Jerome nods, and drops his nuggets as he is grabbed by the same tentacles.

Woo-oo-oona, woo-oo-oo-oona
The pony sleeps tonight!


...You did say grabbed by the "tentacles," right? And when you say, "drops his nuggets..." you mean the chicken, right?

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