• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2018


Give me an eternity, I'll give you an update!

Comments ( 33 )

I liked it. (:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:5 Out Of 5 Happy Pinkies)

Do you feel better now? Remember: catharsis is a good thing provided it's handled well.

Really dark. I still liked it.

Wow... that was rather dark and tragic.
You must have been in a rather bad spot to toss this out.
Hopefully you will work it out and be back to less hope-killing stories.

I hope this helped. I really do.

Yeesh...burning to death...*shiver*. That's...that's sort of my number-one way I do not want to go. For somepony to willingly choose it, just...huuuhhhh it doesn't leave me feeling happy.


Yes, I do. I hope.


I was. I'll get more into it in the follow-up.


The sad thing is, that wasn't the original plan. But I'll save that for the follow-up.

It's a very well written story, the description are well done and evocative, the dialogue, internal monologues and scenes flow together quite well and it's certainly very depressing and tragic. I feel the bullying was handled rather well and i'll admit to liking the idea behind Sunsets parents. Though if she's so troubled why doesn't she live with them, or at least ask for help? It occurs to me; would dye for her mane and coat be that expensive? I mean at least as a temporary measure. Sorry. I know you wrote this fic for your own reasons and I truly hope it helped, expressing ones self like this can be extremely helpful and cathartic. And I hope nothing I say here causes you any pain or problems. Please feel free to ignore this review.

Overall the story is definitely tragic and it does the job of making me feel for the main character quite well. But I do feel that it's a bit... to clear what's going to happen, even without being told in advance, I could see a final tragedy coming. Which can be good in some tragedies in other it can take a person out of it a bit. I do sort of feel her good/kind nature was a bit overplayed for sympathy, if that makes sense; Sorry.

I did find Pinkie a tad off, it seems odd that she wouldn't at least throw a private party for SS, to make up for not being able to invite her; but even then Pinkie not inviting a pony, i'm not sure she's that logical when it comes to parties and ponies not being invited. The use of the mirror was interesting, but i'm surprised Luna would be so brusque with a foal/fllly, or so sudden with her decision.

I did feel the sun prejudice in the adult world, pre-Corona, was a bit extreme, but it was still very realistically handled as far as prejudices go. I did feel that the L!cast were out of character here. Come to think of it, i'm not sure Trixie actually attended the school itself. Regardless Trixie reacting so aggressively, felt a bit much to me, her determining that SS is a traitor/assassin, partially from the words filly's at a school said feels a little weak to me. There was an explanation provided later and them feeling guilty helped, but overall it seemed a but too much a bit too sudden for the whole cast. SS losing her paper seemed a bit hard to explain. I can't really imagine the cast not going after her, they did attack an innocent pony, so I can't imagine much would make them stop from apologizing. But that's just me.

The ending was rather depressing but I feel it did capture much of what makes a tragedy; with Pinkie having successfully convinced Ponies to give her a chance only for it to be too late. Pinkie doing so also seemed very in character for her which was good. The other cast members wanting to help, was also a plus, but if they were around for that why didn't they seek her out to apologize? Again the description were excellently done and SS being super good as a sort of compensation for so many expecting the worst form her was very interesting. The writing was extremely immersive as well; I was able to clearly picture, her walking down the streets, getting picked on, working at a store, all of that was very well done. Some of the more dramatic scenes were a bit less so though. But still quite well written.

Overall it's a very solid fic, if a sad one; I'm sorry if any of this came across as rude or an attack; it was not and while I, much like you, wouldn't support it for canon, i was definitely a good story and certainly worth reading, it will definitely stay in my mind for awhile and expresses your skills as a writer very well.


Holy fuck, just being bullied for her name and appearance was bad, but shit... thats messed up. Going that away is something I would wish on anybody (unless they were just unfeeling, immoral SOBS. Then they must die by every damned method on the planet :pinkiecrazy:)

You Monster, you made my FlutterShy cry :fluttercry:

So many many sads in the fic.
:applecry: :fluttershysad: :pinkiesad2: :raritycry:

Big Mac, should I favorite this?

Great. A 'My Greatest Failure' thing.
Ah, well. At least it's not canon; that way, she can still be whatever we want. (Personally, I have her off in a less Sun-intolerant country like Cavallia training to live up to her name and making the Tyrant Sun set for good.)

This is... a strange and beautifully tragic story. Maybe I'm just in a darkish place as well, but this seems to work really really well.

I'm hesitant to read this for one very good reason. It involves bullying and the Tragedy tag. As such I have to ask and I need an honest answer: Does Sunset Simmer kill herself due to bullying in the end? Because having been in that dark place myself before years ago, I honestly cannot bring myself to read it if that's the case. I would not be able to read it. That's no incitement against the writer, or even the subject matter. It's important to note that yes, it does happen, and it is a real issue. It just happens to be something that hits too close to home for me to be able to read.


Yes, she does.

I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. That was never my intention. I've been in the same place myself, and I know how soul-destroying it can be. If you don't think you can read it, then don't worry. It's non-canon for the Lunaverse, so anything that comes after will ignore this.

That was dark, but compelling.

certainly, this is how I see Sunset in the Lunaverse - cast out for things beyond her control.
Self Immolation is not the way I would want to go, but it was strangely fitting for Sunset Shimmer.

Enjoy a well deserved thumbs up from me.

2824427 You don't need to apologize. You weren't being mean, doing it for cheap drama, or doing it for dark comedy. You rant any of the people that bullied me (I hope). You are a victim yourself. You have nothing to apologize for. You managed to overcome your own experiences enough to write a fic exploring the topic to the bitter end. I have never met you (that I know of), and I can honestly say I feel a bit proud just knowing you overcame it enough to write this. *hugs monitor* I think that's how you send a hug over the internet.

Ick. Way too dark for me and probably something that wasn't worth a release imo but hope it makes you feel better.

Really think what would have made this better would've been Trixie, the elements and the town not being so down on her. But she just expected them to be and the same end came about. Then the death would've had more dramatic weight and have been more internalized. Just too much worse possible everything happening there. Same story could've been told and made sadder but better simply if someponies were nicer to her and she just couldn't see it.


Agreed. I screwed up. Thanks for your help.

Stop saying you screwed up. I didn't like the story no but others did considering the thumbs. Some people like the dark and I knew going in it'd be pretty dark. You wrote the story you wanted to though and told what you wanted. Don't be disappointed and get depressed because a few of us didn't like it. It was nice regardless to see something from you and hope you're back writing again on things a bit less sad. Since your stories usually brighten my days really nicely rather then darken them. But hell if writing a story where you kill everyone graphically who disliked Magical Mystery Cure makes you feel better you should totally write it. Just might not want to release it. :derpytongue2:

Ah, SunSetShimmer, I just treated myslf to EquestriaGirls today:

It was much better than I believed it would be. I have always been of the opinion that humans in Equestria is a bad idea. EquestriaGirls got around that by not placing EquestriaGirls in Equestria. Still, rather than have a spinoff which has no connection to the original show, Hasbro could have produced GalaxyGirls instead.

SunSetShimmer, driven to suicide seems like something which could happen in the LunaVerse:

I imagine, that despite her potential (we know that with proper training, SunSetShimmer is in the .1% of unicorns capable teleportation because that is what happened in the CelestiaVerse), she would have to leave school early and have to wonder, unwanted, because of her palette and name.

It is too bad that Princess Luna stopped SunSetShimmer from escaping into MirrorUniverse.*

* As long as the other universe attached to the LunaVerse is not the MirrorUniverse of Star Trek.

Poor girl.

I think though, that some, or even most of the elements of her character here would make for good Lunaverse canon. Just not, quite at THIS point. I do think the idea of her being bullied for her name and appearance makes perfect sense, and I like that she likes the sun like that (headcanon'd). And yeah, given the way ponies act towards the sun, I can see her being shunned in Ponyville, and getting fired, etc.

Maybe you should revisit her and this concept at some point in the future.

I would say :pinkiesad2::fluttercry::raritydespair::ajsleepy::applecry: out of five crying ponies.
Because it was good but oh boy was it sad!

That said, I wonder if the mirror would have brought L!Sunset to the same human universe M!Sunset went to, or a different human universe, or what.

2827995Let's would you say you have your own opinion just like I did I like that I give it five happy pinkies even know it was sad.

I just... Dont know what to say.

I havent been this dissapointed in somthing since Bon Jovi went country.

Also, I understand everyone in the Lunaverse is a douchebag, but the racism thing was kind of weak.
Maybe its because i live near Dearborn, Mi (Aka the biggest congregation of muslims outside of the middle east and know what dehumanizing someone is like) but this really deflated to no effect.

Your backstory for Sunset is perfect ffor the Lunaverse I think someone should seriously consider making her canon.

I think she and Trixie would get along splendidly.

I liked this story. It shows a darker side of the bias against anything even hinting at Corona.
It also shows that pre-judging someone can lead to bad things.

She could have given the ponies the monster they saw, and expected her to be. Rather than hurt the 'innocent' ponies that never gave her a chance, she gave in.

Even they hate me. They're supposed to be Equestria's heroes...and they think I work for Corona.

The sobbing ceased, as a cold thought began to take the place of her woe. That's it. They think I already work for her, so why not keep up appearances? I'm sure Corona can use a good unicorn! I'll lead her right back to town and watch as she burns the place to the ground! When those ponies come to me, begging for their lives, I'll laugh as they get charred by dragons! I'll be the biggest...

The tears began to reform. Monster...

There was no way she could do that. She may have looked like a servant to the Tyrant Sun, but she was nowhere near that evil. She wouldn't betray Equestria to a villain like that. But she couldn't live like this, either. Her life had been one misstep after another, undermined by the very cosmos. Perhaps in another life, she could have been Luna's personal student, studying under her and learning all there was to know about magic. It had been her dream ever since she was a filly.

But that's all it ever was; a dream. And it was time to wake up.

Everyone has their own demons they have to battle, and sometimes it's just a fight they can't win. If anything I think this story reminds us that we are our brothers' keeper.

Sometimes even just a kind word can make the difference between hope and a tragedy.

No words were said; there was nothing to say. She would have somepony come up in a while, perhaps even help with the memorial, but that didn't change what had happened.

My feels! This story hit me right in them!

Sometimes escape really is the only option...:fluttershysad:

Well I shed a tear or two. I found this very well done, dark and consistently heavy (not just random punches at heartstrings), hope quickly counteracted with despair. I've actually never read Lunaverse stories before (and wasn't sure what that meant) but now I understand and feel sad. Judgement based on color is something I can imagine happening if they feel Sunset has been marked by the tyrant, and young ponies are capable of using anything they can think of to heckle. I personally liked this story, but please don't apologize for anything you write. ^__^

What are the chances we could get a sequel to this story? I feel the Lunar Mane 6 need to realise that by the time they go to apologize it's already too late, sparking a resolve to prevent this sort of thing from ever happening again. A sort of "By order of the Knights of Equestria, and Bearer of the Elements of Harmony, we order you all to give those with sun themed names and manes a chance in life, not to treat them like monsters like Sunset was treated." Threatening to bring Luna into this if anypony opposes the order and stating that because of the prejudice that was brought out, "an innocent life is gone now, do you really want to buck off the princess by being responsible for more? Sunset wasn't a Traitor. If anypony's a traitor to Equestria it's every last one of us for betraying the very principles Equestria was founded upon, The Magic of Friendship by outing at innocent pony because of her love for the sun and appearance."

I also think that a part should be made with Trixie somehow trying to fix the mistake she caused in some form, even if it means full restore type resurrection magic or the time travel spells in the Starswirl the Bearded's wing. Since Trixie is basically Twilight in this universe, she should have access to it like Twilight does in the Prime universe. If she can prevent Sunset's death from happening, she could turn everything around for the better, giving the order all the same.

It must be non-cannon but I can just imagine that to happen.

A part of me wishes for a story in which this Sunset, instead of immolating herself, snapped and became The Black Sun (astronomical symbolism FTW).

The rest of me is firm in the belief that the only time I'll write a Lunaverse story is one in which it's invaded by Daleks.

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