• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 20th, 2018

FaleYur


Average Brony. Average everything really. Sarcastic, sardonic, slightly sadistic. Lover of ponies and alliteration, hater of people, and giver of no shits. Reader/reviewer of stories, fan of Discord.

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Vinyl Scratch is not a thoughtful pony by nature. Rather, she is boisterous, obnoxious, and rude. In the past couple months of her and Octavia's relationship, Vinyl's manners have doubled, and her smiles have increased tenfold. And then, in one moment, almost faster than the blink of an eye, it all comes crashing down around her head. Vinyl is reduced to a sniveling, drinking mess, and she decides that now is the time to do something about it.

My first story on the site! Yeah, I know, you have all probably read something like this note many-a-time... so leave some thoughts, criticism and advice, and I'll try to get the rest of this up as fast as I can!

(OctyScratch ship, pretty basic, but with a touch of flair that makes the distinction. Enjoy!)

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 61 )

Eez good! I favourite, like and await more :pinkiehappy:
Maybe longer chapters? :pinkiesad2:

I agree - longer chapters most deffinatly. It'd really make sure you get properly sucked in. It was well written however and I got the sudden urge for a drink. Come on Vinyl, get her back!
Look forward to your next chapter :3

please....PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!!!!!:twilightsmile: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh please please please!!!!!!:pinkiehappy: i love this concept, keep working hard! oh and yes, longer chapters please

Wow, i never expected this to catch so well! It makes me feels so good that my first story is working out! :twilightblush: I should hopefully have the next chapter done by next week, probably around Tuesday. I want to thank you all for the feedback, and hope that you stick with me (and Vinyl) to the end. here's some mustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

i suggest you join a group, it'll help get you noticed you have good work

Soooo, did Octavia just get run over there? Or was that like a what if scenario where Vinyl imagined what would have happened if she hadn't stopped Octavia?

Very dramatic. Have fun on holiday and don't worry about us lot, We'll pester for an update the minutes you're back. Can't wait to find out more about the backstory.

The story unfolds some more! Now to wait for it to unfold more! :ajsmug:

Also, enjoy your vacation!

"i hope you enjoyed this pitiful attempt at writing"
There is nothing pitiful about this. It's really good, I mean it's not everyday I feel for a character. The only thing I find semi-pitiful was in the author's note...there are a lot of spots where punctuation is needed...

Nice chapter, sweet and sad all at once. Have to admit that I was confused what story this was at first.

Next chapter sooner please?:duck:

Vinyl was going to be late. For a very, very important date

DID I WIN!!!:flutterrage:

2930766
Tweeet! that was fast. :rainbowderp: For your glamorous prize, a virtual pat on the back! Also some mustaches. Always the mustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Wooooo updates! :yay:
Looks good so far keep up the good work!

Recolection

Yeah...Misspelled chapter title nearly turned me away, which is sad, considering how well the story is written. So far, strong narrative, good characterization and well enough plot to be intriguing. Now to read the rest.

Regards
Quicksear

Mmmmm, chapter......okay, not reading while hungry ever again.

Couple of errors; one or two comma splices, missing or incorrect quotation marks and some formatting, but other than that, solid. I was just running around and saw this pop up, so I figured, what the heck. This story does deserve some more views, so I'll see where I can advertise. Waiting for the meeting between the disillusioned, or whatever you plan on bringing up.

Regards
Quicksear

2962385

Thanks for the critique! I'll get down to fixing those errors when I can. And yeah, my kriptonite seems to be commas. Curse you punctuation!

Nopony's save from Pinkie! Nopony! :pinkiecrazy:

Whoa. Am impressed.

I was only planning to read this as a courtesy because you left such a nice comment on my story earlier- that's the first "Right in the feels" I've gotten". It feels (no pun intended) good.

But seriously, you've done a damn good job with this chapter. I'm looking forward to the rest.

I noticed that you asked for some feedback on your superb story. So I'm gonna pull through on that. Wall of text incoming!

Vinyl Scratch sat on the end of her bed, appraising the bruises and scratches that permeated her flawless alabaster body.

I'm debating the merit of including "flawless" in this sentence, because I really don't know what you're trying to get across here. Are you trying to make the point that Vinyl Scratch is attractive? I mean, if you want to do that, go for it, but it's a bit cumbersome in this sentence. I'm no expert, but I generally consider bruises and scratches flaws.

pent up

It's generally written "pent-up".

Vinyl began to shake, her pent up emotions slowly leaking out of her until the dam broke, and she put her head in her hooves and began to sob.

I don't think you need the second comma, and it screws up the rhythm of the sentence.

“For the last time, no. I’ve had this dinner with my parents planned for weeks, and you’re not getting out of it because you are pretending to be sick, or you have a last minute performance to go to.” The grey mare shot back.

"Commas go after the last word in a quote," SpaceCommie said. "And then you finish it with an appropriate clause describing who said it and how," he continued. "On the other hand, if you're following up with the circumstances of the quote, you can end it normally and move on to the next sentence." He lifted his hands off the keyboard, confident that he had presented the basics of punctuating quotes in a satisfactory manner.

cab driver puller

Typo, obviously. Even the best spellchecker can't get this kind of stuff.

absent mindedly

*absentmindedly

Sitting down at the table, she softy lay her head down

You meant softly, of course.

I figured I'd give you a sample of my editing efforts. Let me know if you want to work with me in the future.

2977259

There are no amount of facehoofs that could cover my overwhelming editing failures. Here's a couple, just in case, :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:

I guess I'll get to fixing those...

It was really good other than the rare spelling and few punctuation mistakes. :twilightsmile:

It was great!!! Make more!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttershysad:

Well that utterly riuned my morning. Which is to say, it was very well done. I really did not see that coming...Me and my hopelessly romantic inclination to happy endings have once again caught me unawares. Still, well written and overall a reasonably good ending that pretty much manages to set this apart from other OctaScratch. So celebrations are in order!

Regards
Quicksear

Well... Luna's Luminous Rump, that was one heck of an ending! Even if the chapter title was ominous to begin with... I feel liquid pride welling up over here.

So yeah, well done pardner. Well done indeed. :ajsmug:

Oh my god, this almost gave me as much heartbreak as my forever. Makes me want to curl up into a ball and die. Excellently written however. Did not even see the bad ending coming.

:applecry:

why you do this to me faleyur

Oh My God! Noooooo... Whyyyyyy?! :raritydespair:

“LITEN TO YOURSELF, LISTEN TO ME!”

Listen not liten. Great story so far and I'm getting back to reading.

Second time I've shed some tears on a sad fic today. I really need to just stop reading them.

3283839

:facehoof: Again with the typos... I don't even know what to say anymore. :trixieshiftleft:

TO THE EDITER!

Writers block? Better re-create Shakespeare

I feel like a heartless man, I didn't cry at all and this story was really sad near the end... I read sad stories all the time yet I've hardly cried at any of them, I cried at a few.... I'm too emotionally strong sadly

im really emotionally strong. out of hundreds of sad stories i have read only one has made me cry. i have read the first chapter of this and look forward to the rest. hope it makes me cry.

i shed some tears on this one. out of hundreds this is only the second i actually cried to. i feel like curling up next to vinyl and snuggling to cry more. i feel horrible and depressed after this story. there is nothing in this world that can cheer me up on this one. by far this is the best story i have ever read. i am emotionally strong which means i am so sad to a point that im not going to cry just feel horrible and think sad thoughts for another couple days. i was hoping them to get back together. VINYL! my favorite pony of all. why? j-just why? i cant cry. i feel like snuggling vinyl and crying so hard right now. :raritydespair:

this story makes me so sad that im keeping a tab open on this and never turning the computer off. only occasioally look at it and feel horrible once more. why? just why did it have to end this way?

3418351
I'm glad! I think... :twilightoops: I feel bad that I made you depressed, but I feel good that I lived up to some standards. :pinkiehappy:

Disclaimer: FaleYur is not responsible for gratuitous amounts of tears and does not condone curling up and crying in a corner. If you have experienced either, and wish for more, (for whatever reason) like, favorite and follow to fulfill all your depressing FimFiction needs. :pinkiesmile:

3418406 its fine. you make some amazing writing. to think you are only the second out of hundreds to make me cry from a story. i hope everyone else has a good night. im going to get my vinyl plush and snuggle it while i watch pewdiepie on youtube to at least try to cheer me up.to make me at least not want to take her pills and go with her.

see evrybody tommorrow..... hopefully:pinkiehappy:

3418467 just in case anybody's wondering im still alive. :P :twilightsmile:

3421387
*Whew!* I was beginning to think that I was going to have a law-suit on my hands. :pinkiegasp:

3421960 lol. feeling better. listened to vinyl scratch dj pon-3 music. my thoughts on snuggling with vinyl calmed me down a bit. still a bit down but stll a little better.

I still haven't turned the computer off or exited the tab off. :P lol

How could someone dislike this story? Its well written.

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