Of Carts & Vines
Firebrand gazed at the thicket of vines entwined around his hind hooves thoughtfully. After a few moments of careful deliberation, with is eyes narrowed in thought, he set about carrying out a hastily concocted plan. A small lick of flame escaped from his horn and was quickly encased in a shimmering green barrier. He steadily raised the contained fire to the vines holding him aloft. He took a deep breath and swiped at one of the bright green vines, which was cut in two and retreated back to the trees with a resonant twang. He lifted it once again to cut through a large bunch of vines encircling his left leg, but the improvised tool stuttered to a stop before actually contacting the vegetation. The proximity of the flaming blade seared the closest vines and turned them an ugly black.
By Sun and Moon, this is such a stupid plan.
Without further deliberation, the fire sharply descended on the plants. Firebrand lost control of the magical implement when he began his rapid descent to the ground below. A bright aura hastily build up around his horn and he disappeared in a flash.
He reappeared safely on the ground, on his hooves and only slightly scorching the ground with his sudden appearance. He briefly lost his balance and fell to the ground. He unsteadily got back on three hooves, the fourth rubbing his head. His eyes widened when he panned his gaze across his surroundings.
"Huh? Why’s everything so... neat?" he muttered in a daze.
The trees surrounding him were arranged in somewhat jagged rows, stretching far off into the distance. There was no shrubbery to obscure his line of vision and no undergrowth trying its level best to drag him to the ground. Brightly coloured birds flitted about in the warm sunlight, their chirrups and calls filled the air. There weren't any ominous shadows potentially concealing a vicious monster. It looked decidedly... mundane, at least compared to its usually untamed appearance; it was clear that this was no longer the forest he had gotten his cutie mark in.
It looks more like the other forest, what’s it called. Um, Whitetail Woods was it? Yes, it definitely looks more like Whitetail Woods. Just what's happening?
When he next glanced at his strange surroundings, he noticed a well maintained path snaking across the landscape, it seemed to be well used as there wasn’t a wayward plant in sight. He scuffed his hoof across the packed ground and brought it to his face to look for any suspect detritus. He just saw plain brown earth.
Maybe I’m actually in Whitetail Woods? That'd explain the lack of monsters trying to tear me to bits...
His train of thought was brought to a halt as he heard the faint creaking of wooden wheels and clopping of hooves in the distance.
Sounds like father's carriage after I accidentally pulled one of the wheels off.
He wearily turned his head to observe the newcomer; he found a burly brown earth pony pulling a tremendously large cart behind him, which rattled and clanked with every movement. However, he seemed to have no trouble with the Hoofulean task of pulling the sturdy wagon.
A warm smile appeared on Firebrand's face as he prepared to meet the sienna coloured earth pony: who had only recently noticed the pony shaped obstacle before him.
“Um, excuse me, I don’t mean to be a bother, but might you be able to tell me exactly where I am?”
The tall earth pony looked at the researcher with a quizzical expression and replied in a rumbling baritone.
“Why, you’re in the Everfree forest, how couldn’t you know that?” The earth pony raised an eyebrow and stared slightly more attentively at Firebrand.
Oh no, I don't want to come off as a lunatic. Think Firebrand. Think, think, think-
Just before he came up with an adequate reply which would, hopefully, not arouse suspicion as to his... unique position, he took note of the accent of the brown pony. It sounded vaguely familiar yet he couldn’t quite place it. After ruminating on the point for a long while, he realised that he had remained silent for far too long. He glanced up at the other pony’s slight frown and narrowed eyes and met them with a sheepish smile.
“Ah, my apologies, I tend to do that occasionally. But as for your question; I suppose I’m just quite lost and I could use some assistance?” He glanced hopefully up at the brown stallion and hoped that he hadn’t given anything away. He also hoped that he hadn’t made himself look like a complete idiot in the process.
After thinking about the strange green colt’s request for a few moments, a smile worked itself onto the brown pony's face as he replied. “Of course I will, it wouldn’t be very nice of me if I just left you here. I’m actually heading to Hoofens right now; just follow me and you’ll be fine.” He set off down the road with his cart in tow, not waiting for Firebrand to come to his senses.
Externally the unicorn remained calm as he started following the hulking pony, the same could not be said of his mental state, however. His roiling thoughts constantly coming back to one subject.
Hoofens. What.
Just a little something to hold you guys over until I have the time to write a proper chapter; hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! As always, please comment, critique and lambaste me for my terrible writing 
. But seriously, surely people as awesome as you could take the time to leave a comment... Please? 
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3531726
Thanks, mate, I'm reading your story now.
I'm liking this so far
3531874
I'm glad
3531917
Lol
3531964
?
3531978
You don't know what text slang or text speak is?
3531991
Yeah, just wondering what you're laughing at.
3531994
Just the fact that this is so good!
3532020
Thanks!
3532048
3532086
Have you finished it?
3532088
Not yet. Very busy!
3532488
Ah, okay, no problem
Ugh, why do people leave down-votes without telling me why?!
Get ready, here it comes, my honest opinion.
Grammar
While it was far from the worst I've seen, it was bad enough that I'd suggest getting a proof-reader or editor to look it over for you. Things I caught included: misused semicolons, misplaced (or lacking where they should have been) commas, and one or two typos.
Style
You used a lot, and I mean a lot, of adjectives. This is usually an attempt to make telling seem more like showing, but what it results in is detail overload. On top of this you have a very wide range of verbs being used. While I understand the intent of not overusing common words, this goes a bit overboard. When you combine these two issues, my mind is left sorting through a bunch of unnecessary details, leaving nothing to process what is actually going on. It means I potentially miss out on the characterization or plot. These are both good things, but when used in excess (as with all things), become hindrances.
Content
From what I gathered the story seems interesting enough: very rpg-ish (I kept thinking of Dragon Age: Origins at times). I can't really comment on things like pacing or atmosphere because, as I mentioned previously, your heavy use of adjectives and a thesaurus were too distracting. I couldn't get a good feel of it.
All in all I'd say your style is what is holding you back the most right now; it's what would prevent me from continuing the story at this point. But with that said I encourage you to keep it up, I think the story has potential, it just needs a tweak or two in the way you write it.
3575817
Thanks, I'll be reviewing your story soon, my laptop's been busted for some time now. Also, could you perhaps give me a few examples of my misused grammar? By the way, I never once used a thesaurus when writing this.
Thanks for reading my story mate
!
. I have trouble myself with describing things and steering away from run-on sentences. A rule of thumb I made up (I think), if you need 3 or more commas in a sentence and your not listing; it is most likely a run-on. Sometimes colons, semi-colons and hyphens/dashes
can be your best friend if you understand how to use them.
I was kind of skeptical reading your story, because I'm not really a fan of Dark tags--but then I saw the Comedy one and I'm like bring it on home-skillet!
Your story is done really well, and I love the visuals your writing gives. The only thing I had a problem with--run-on sentences. The first half of the chapter was full of them
Food for thought
3596956
Cheers for the review! I know, I have a bit of a problem with run-on sentences and purple prose but...
It's kinda hard to change. Thanks again for the review 
Called it! More ponies! Whoever this guy is, he seems like a hardy sort. Dunno what's in the cart, but he seems like some sort of laborer, or maybe a trader? I don't normally see characters that engage in the art of trade. Why aren't there more traveling trader ponies or gryphons out there? That would be an adventure all on its own, I think.
I have a feeling you hastily constructed this chapter as to sedate your readers' lust for more. It kinda shows, at least, in the dialogue. It was rather... iffy, to say the least. It doesn't sound too natural. How Firebrand interacts with this fellow sounds suspicious, to say the least. I would have a hard time letting him along with me, especially if he had no idea where he was at.