• Published 18th Mar 2012
  • 21,484 Views, 622 Comments

Whip and Wing - Fernin



Daring Do & Indiana Jones battle each others' enemies in a race to save their worlds and themselves.

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Epilogue

“Yes, yes. You have done well, my minion. Now, go! I have plans to make… Such plans…”

The final page of the manuscript rustled as Twilight Sparkle lowered the paper and replaced it on the bottom of the stack. She glanced up at the two aspiring authors and gathered her thoughts. How to put this best? “Well… Wait. Dash, are you awake?”

Lyra glanced over to her co-author, Rainbow Dash. The pegasus was snoring gently. Sighing, the sea green unicorn prodded the snoozing pony with a hoof. Dash continued sleeping. Lyra prodded harder and Rainbow leaped to her hooves. “What?! What? I’m up. I’m up!”

“As I was saying,” Twilight continued with an annoyed glance at her friend, “I think it’s… pretty good.”

“Just ‘pretty good?’ Not super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?!” whined Rainbow Dash.

“Could you tell us what you did and didn’t like about it?” Lyra said, interrupting the pegasus’ complaints before the mare could get into full swing.

Twilight consulted a list of notes she’d made while reading. “This is a good story, especially considering it’s your first effort together. I thought the idea of two adventurers in each others’ world was very inventive. Good idea using the memory merging, too; it saved a lot of exposition for the reader. Not that exposition is a bad thing, I for one love when something’s explained properly…”

“But?” Rainbow prompted.

“I wasn’t done yet, Rainbow. But the story does have some big problems. The biggest is, you really shouldn’t use Daring Do for one of your characters,” Twilight said with a sigh.

The pegasus’ jaw dropped. “What?! Why not?”

“The character Daring Do already belongs to somepony else,” Twilight explained. “If you want to be a published author yourself, you really need to use your own characters and setting; you can’t just write this… this… I think it’s called ‘fan fiction?’”

“What do you mean we can’t—” Rainbow Dash started, but Twilight Sparkle cut her off.

However, I think you did a good job with Daring, and if you get the original author’s permission you might be able to publish this,” the lavender unicorn said.

Dash brightened. “Oh. Well that should be easy, right?”

Resisting the urge to crush her friend’s optimism, Twilight continued. “Now what I was really interested in was what you did with the other adventurer, this ‘Indiana Jones.’ Somepony like that—”

“Someone,” Lyra corrected automatically.

Twilight nodded. “Right. Someone like that has a lot of potential. He has many of the same qualities as Daring Do, but you gave him a very original spin. I definitely liked the idea of a college professor of archeology using his knowledge in the field for the betterment of pony—er, mankind.”

“Pffft, you would,” chuckled Rainbow Dash.

“Was there anything you thought we could improve about Indiana Jones?” Lyra asked, smiling eagerly. So Twilight had liked her character!

Consulting her notes again, Twilight paused for a moment. “Hmm. If you’re looking for constructive criticism, Lyra, there’s not a lot I can say on Indiana himself. He’s quite the stallion. Er, man, rather. But his villains, the Nasties…”

“Nazis, you mean,” Dash interrupted.

“Right. Incidentally, ‘Nazi’ and ‘Nasty?’ Nice pun, girls. Very clever. Anyway, they seemed a little flat, honestly. The idea of a militaristic society bent on global domination is a good place to start, but you really didn’t bring in their motivation very much. Why do they want to rule the world? Who is this ‘Hitler?’ And how is he different from ‘Himmler?’ Their names sound almost the same, so some readers could get confused. You might want to rename one of them, but that’s just a suggestion.” Twilight shrugged and put down her notes. Seeing the amateur authors’ expressions, she hurried to add, “This is a good first draft, though! Don’t let my criticism discourage you!”

“All right, Twilight. Thank you for your help. We’ll be sure to credit you as an editor,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Yes, thank you,” echoed Lyra as she levitated the manuscript and tucked it carefully into her saddlebags.

The co-authors trotted out of the Books and Branches Library in silence. It wasn’t until the door had closed behind them that Rainbow Dash turned to Lyra with an annoyed glare. “I told you we should have done a ship-fic instead! Those are always popular!”

Lyra rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure everypony would want to read about the amazing romance between Daring Do and Princess Celestia’s previously unheard-of sibling. Who was it you suggested again? A blue-pelted, rainbow-maned alicorn mare named ‘Chromatic Sprint?’”

“She’s a perfectly legitimate and original character!” the pegasus snapped. “Way better than your stupid My Little Person ‘Lyle Hartman’ stories!”

“Now listen, you feather-brained—” Lyra paused mid-snarl and took a deep breath, smoothing away the angry creases in her expression. “All right. Fine. Look, do you want to keep going with this? Twilight gave us some good input, at least, if we want to improve what we’ve got.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Well we did put a lot of work into it so far. I guess I’ll keep going with it if you will. See you next Wednesday?”

“Make it Thursday; Bon Bon and I have previous engagements on Wednesday,” Lyra replied with a half-smile.

“Heh. Lucky. Anyway, those clouds aren’t going to kick themselves. See you later, Lyra!” In an instant, Rainbow Dash was airborne, soaring into the blue. Lyra watched the pegasus go. Well, that hadn’t gone too badly. Maybe this author thing was going to work out for them after all. Now if only they could come up with a good pen name to use when they published…


A/N: And this is well and truly THE END.

I categorically deny any and all allegations that I stole this entire manuscript off the ponynet and changed the byline. YOU’LL NEVER CATCH MEEEEE HA HA HA HAAAAAA

Yes, I just couldn't resist sticking a reference to one of my other stories into the epilogue for laughs, heh heh. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not.

Special thanks go to:
Tzelly-El for the awesome cover art
SapphireStarlight for most of the brainstorming help on this thing & for pre-reading
Rated Ponystar for more brainstorming and for pre-reading
LittleNapoleon for input from the non-Brony demographic
EzeFilly for pre-reading and help with German
and last but not least Sebbaa for even MORE pre-reading and a lot of help with the German!
And to the various others who helped point out typos and such with enough specificity that I was able to find them.

I appreciated your help. Without all of you I probably wouldn't have gotten done with this.

This one actually started life as a random idea while I was exercising one day, and just sort of stuck. Admittedly it was initially going to be a sort of 'buddy comedy' thing with Indy and Daring having to tag-team their combined enemies, but eventually it ended up the way you see it today.

In any event, I hope you enjoyed it, dear reader, for I certainly enjoyed writing this.

…And no, I do not have any sequels planned for this. @_@ Yes, I always say this, but you know what? IT’S ALWAYS TRUE.

Seriously. Even if I had an idea for it (and I don't) I have other sequels to write first! Muahahahahahaaaaa...

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Comments ( 117 )

Your overall welcomed bro. Sorry I wasn't as fast as the others, but real life and all. This is your best work and if you make a equal I'll be there to help you out! :heart:

So it was all a story...LIES! BIG FILTHY EARTHBOY LIES! *shouts in Zim mannerisms*

That's so...taunting.
But putting Lyra as one of the co-authors was genious.
But still, I feel sad now that it's over....and I miss Hans.

I for one, am very satisfied with this ending.

:pinkiegasp:

Chromatic Sprint. :rainbowkiss:

Fanfiction-ception.

No! That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

MOAR! DISCORD TROLL YOU! MOAR! :flutterrage:

Please? :pinkiesad2:

402438
Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

But Daring and Indy were supposed to ship!!! :raritycry:

But in all seriousness, Damn good story. Enjoyed every step of the way! If there were stars still, I'd give 5/5

Great job with this. It is one of the best crossover fics I have ever seen, and trust me there are plenty of s*** ones. I thought it funny that at the end this is a fanfic in a fanfic. I hope there is a sequel but if you cant come up with one thats fine. Keep writing and be a brony!:pinkiehappy:

Up next:
Celestia and the President get swapped by the amulets!

Cool story bro. :trollestia:

No seriously. Very cool story. :twilightsmile:

"My little person"? I see what you did there :derpytongue2:

if this was a movie the end would be F**k you to the audience, but I like it alot.

How clever of you to write that Rainbow Dash and Lyra wrote this as fiction... in your pathetic attempt to disguise the fact that ALL OF IT REALLY HAPPENED AND THE CIA COVERED IT UP!!

I KNOW DA TRUTH!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Brilliant all the way through. This story deserves a far more complete description of why I loved it than this rather anemic endorsement, and if I can set aside the time later, maybe I can write one.

Okay, love the ending. It made me laugh.

Heh, I loved that last bit with Dashie, Lyra, and Twilight. Especially her criticism of the 'Nasties' seeming unrealistic (I remember one history teacher saying that most human history would make an unbelievable story, except that it actually happened). And the bit with Dash and Lyra arguing over the unmade shipping fic --
Lyra rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure everypony would want to read about the amazing romance between Daring Do and Princess Celestia’s previously unheard-of sibling. Who was it you suggested again? A blue-pelted, rainbow-maned alicorn mare named ‘Chromatic Sprint?’”

Heh, do we hear a critique of the planned season finisher for the actual show? :rainbowlaugh:

Great story, and I hope we see more from you in the future.:heart:

Well, now I've got to go read the rest of your stories.

I'm a little sad you're putting a sequel off, but I think it's a good idea. Put some time into thinking about where you want to go with this.

If you do write the sequel, it would be a good idea to have RB and Lyra have taken into consideration Twilights advice. For example, if Daring heads back to earth, maybe you should include a little conversation between Indy and Daring about the Nazi's. How the situation is a lot more complicated and Tragic. The rise of Hitler and so forth, and just a light touch on things turned out so badly. "Ordinary people in a bad situation looking for a way out. Someone to lead, to aspire to... and something to blame. Something to hate. And then a bad situation gets worse."
While it would be capture such an explaination in a dialouge that sounds belivable, seeing Indy struggle to explain the reasons behind why such evil groups (by equestrian standards) hold such power on earth would be a POWERFUL scene, capturing the harshness of the world and society that Humanity tries to survive in, and that people are often greedy or too scared to change. (The Captain America movie had a wonderful line: "So many people forget the first countries the Nazi's invaded were their own.") Indy might get depressed, But Daring, instead of being horrified, simply points out that there's always bad people, but there are also still people like Indy trying to do the right thing. That's what really matters.
Anyway, that's not really the spirit of the Crossover, but it does seem like something the HUman-obssessed Lyra would put some thought into. It doesn't sound unrealistic that she'd put some major thought into the background of her Villians... especially to make them really scary by Equestrian standards. They're not an ancient cult or lead by an evil spirt/monster like Auzhotl... they're regular people who belive and support horrible things. The idea that an evil empire would be made by a bunch of hard-off people and following the charismatic mad-man with the best of intentions... turning a recovery effort into a genocidal-supremicist regime would strike close to home, as the Ponies had entire kingdoms divided into species in the past (Hearths Warming). A little idea that mere skin and eye color is used to mark superiority would be seen as terribly petty... and Indy would agree, "but that's all some people need"

Anyway... I loved it! I can't wait to read your other stuff!

And their pen name they came up with was... Fernin.

Seriously, I loved this! Thank you for writing it!

Well played - wasn't expecting this meta ending.

And in another universe, a boy looking remarkably like Sam Witwicky pens the end of a story of his father. Which, unlike Lyra and Rainbow's (AKA your) effort, completely sucks and never sees the light of day.

This was badass.

Called that ending, what did surprise me though was Lyra.
I was like...
fim.413chan.net/fim/src/129923751541-MLP_I_see_what_you_d.jpg

This was AWESOME!
I didn't really see anything to criticize

WHAT A TWEEST :pinkiegasp:

Absolutely loved the story. I know some people will be sad not to see a sequel, but I think it's got a perfect ending just as it is. Bravo.

Hah, great premise and a great ending! Hats off to you good sir! :yay:

Now to gather a team of top men to make a sequel.

:rainbowhuh: Who?

Top.....men

8

Oh noes

This was an epic story man. Great job!

Loved this, one of the greatest fics I have read. I think you should have made it so that they both learned from eachother though, you know? Like Indiana Learned to appriciate adventure and Daring accepting that the artifacts belong in a museum for everypony to enjoy them :twilightsheepish: Though you did hint at that a few chapters ago. Like I said, loved this so much. I spent all my free time during the week reading it. :pinkiehappy:

Yes, yes, yes! :pinkiehappy:
And also, Daring Do was a fictional character in the first place...Or the author was a non-fiction writer of filly's books.
Nopony wants to read nonfiction. :coolphoto:

I am now a fan of your work. Enough said.

Don't ever remove this.

402303 that show, that amazing show.
My life would be so different had it continued

in other news, this fic was incredible!

YAY! THIS WAS AWESOME! NOW I BET THE SEQUEL WILL BE EVEN BE- wait... *reads author's note*... no sequel? No sequel?! In the one place where the sequels are good, you don't write one?! :twilightangry2:RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-*explodes*
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/8/6/6faadc31-9b88-4e78-8cf0-137ad2972806.gif

:raritycry::raritydespair::raritycry::raritydespair: over no sequel.

Amazing story though, and the ending is hilarious. Now all you need is another chapter with you writing about them writing about Indy and Daring.

I really felt bad for Hans, at least his Pony counterpart understood how he died.

And I agree with the guy above, this all really happened but the CIA hides it in Area 51 :pinkiehappy: / whatever Celestia's equivelent is.

... That... I... That. Was. AMAZING. I love how you made Lyra know all of that stuff about humans, and came up with Indy. You are a genius. :rainbowlaugh:

beautiful, just... beautiful. I do not know what I could give you, just have a moustache :moustache:

If I'm honest, I think this ending is a bit weak. :applejackunsure:
I'd have been happier to have it end on the last chapter where both adventurers make it back to their worlds successful, rather than this epilogue revealing it was a book. Although it's well written and humorous, I just find it similar to the slap in the face of a dream ending.
Still, at least you concluded it well and overall the story is brilliant throughout. Good job :pinkiehappy:

407238

Greetings, I can sort of see where you're coming from with the idea that the Daring Do/Jones portion of the story has been labelled as "fiction" within the story itself. However I don't find this problematic because the story maintains its integrity. What I mean by that, is the events of the story still occurred just as described within their universe. If Fernin so desired, he could pick up right where he left off and the continuity would remain intact.

The problem with a real "it was a dream" ending, is that it tends to completely subvert the plot. People have a bad taste in their mouth for "dream" endings because of how they tend to be used in television shows. Often times show writers will want to do something extreme, but not damage the status quo, so they'll take you on a ride by really shaking up the story with something extreme. "Stewie kills Lois" for example. Though it could be any number of things. Aliens land, a main character is murdered, someone's kid is found to have a dragon living in the wine cellar... But in the end the story is subverted in that it was all a dream in the main character's head, and none of those events really occurred and will -never- affect the continuity.

This is different because Daring Do wasn't dreaming, and neither was Jones. The events were real to them and remain real in the continuity of the books Lyra and Dash collab on. Their story is no less real than say, Harry Potter's story, which you are also aware is only a book.

Just my thoughts,

~FrostedLights (aka SapphireStarlightPony)

WAHT A TWIST
Dayum what a great crossover!

407469
I agree with you totally in the respect. I still say it was a good ending to the story and indeed much better than an actual dream ending. My problem is that it would have been nice if the Daring Do & Indiana Jones events were real, and in fact past history in Equestria and not just the fiction of Rainbow Dash and Lyra.

TL; DR
jk
This was an amazing fanfic, I really enjoyed reading it and falling asleep at midnight on a school night. 5/5 thumbs up

Whether or not you decide to do a sequel in the future, it's win-win. Either you won't and this story is left as a wonderful snapshot in history, or you will and it'll be well worth reading because at this point I trust you to make it rock.

If you do though, there should probably be a subtle comparison between :coolphoto: and Spalko.

Wow. Really, I mean, wow. (Those are good wow's, tone of voice doesn't carry well on the internet. :derpytongue2: )
I really enjoyed the story as a whole. Personally I thought you did a great job writing the part of Indiana, capturing most (if not all) of his predefined qualities. At the same time, you constructed several strong character personas of your own!
Loved the Lyle reference by the way, but does that mean that that story was just another of Lyra's creations? :rainbowderp:
As far as the premise goes, I found that everything fit together really well! Aside from the whole universe-swapping-inter-dimensional-combat business, I never had to tell myself "IT'S MAGIC, HE AIN'T GOTTA EXPLAIN A THING." You get the idea, plot was solid, characters were moving, and most importantly, it was a blast to read! :pinkiesmile:
You sir, get five out of five brohoofs.
/)*(\ /)*(\ /)*(\ /)*(\ /)*(\

407547

Hey hey, who knows? There are plenty of theories about how Equestria and Celestia and Luna came to be. Celestia, master manipulator that she is, might be paying tribute in the Daring Do books to a hero modern equestria has long forgotten about or couldn't be allowed to know.

Also... it's a fantasy. According to the Whole Sort Of General Mish Mash, everything everywhere is real somewhere. Anyway, it's well written, so thats enough.

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